- Joined
- Jan 24, 2018
- Messages
- 169
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- 403
Hi my friends, back on this forum again, I guess you could call me a frequent flyer at this point.
It is another one of those nights, where I miss my soulmate. I saw this quote, that stung but also comforted me.
"I hope this grief stays with me. Because it's all the unexpressed love that I didn't get to tell her."
When I think about it, maybe thats why it still hurts so much. I still had so much love to give her, tell her, show her, and shower her in. When she left, its like all that love had nowhere to go, and it sits in my bones and makes me so sad sometimes. Of course I give this love to her sisters, in a way, but deep down theres love I never got to give her. Theres so much we didn't get to do, so much we didn't see, so many movies we didn't watch together, so many new blankets she has never laid on, so many new toys she never got to see. We still had so much of our story left to write, and with her being gone, my pages aren't as colorful anymore. I really miss her, I miss her so much, all the time. Some days, most days, my brain doesn't realize she is gone. I never took her food bowl away, I still open my door slowly because my muscle memory remembers her being behind the door. It's like I lost my limb, and some days the phantom pains hurt so bad I feel like collapsing. It hurts, remembering I will live longer without her, than time with her. We only had 15 years together, I wish it was longer.
Darling girl, if only you knew how much I love you. I would have moved mountains for you. Those last photos we have together, before you went to sleep forever, I cherish them. I never realized how much love was in my eyes when I looked at you. The way my hands cradled your face, so gently. Honey I miss you. I wish I could shout at the sky, yell until my lungs bursts, how much I miss you.
I remember when you had finally passed away, and your dad held me while I screamed, I kept saying over and over "It's not fair" and my body crumbled. Because my precious love, it wasn't fair. It was not fair that your kidneys couldn't work anymore, you wanted to drink water and you tried so hard to eat but there was no more time. It was not fair that you didn't have more time. It was not fair that we had to separate, it wasn't fair. I remember wrapping you in your blanket one last time, before kissing you and placing you in your basket to go away with the sweet soul who set you free in the comfort of our home. I remember taking your fresh paw prints, putting them in our oven to cure, and sobbing when I took them out. I remember when she called me, to tell me your ashes were ready, and that same sweet soul brought your urn home, wrapped in your blanket. I remember when she left with you, and texting her, "Please keep her safe." She did, she kept you safe while I couldn't, and then she brought you home to me.
My girl, I wish there were enough words, but there never could be. I love you, my soulmate. I know our soul tie will never sever, but gosh I miss you. I will miss you the rest of my life. I will ache for you the rest of my life. But like the quote says,"I hope this grief stays with me. Because it's all the unexpressed love that I didn't get to tell her."
It is another one of those nights, where I miss my soulmate. I saw this quote, that stung but also comforted me.
"I hope this grief stays with me. Because it's all the unexpressed love that I didn't get to tell her."
When I think about it, maybe thats why it still hurts so much. I still had so much love to give her, tell her, show her, and shower her in. When she left, its like all that love had nowhere to go, and it sits in my bones and makes me so sad sometimes. Of course I give this love to her sisters, in a way, but deep down theres love I never got to give her. Theres so much we didn't get to do, so much we didn't see, so many movies we didn't watch together, so many new blankets she has never laid on, so many new toys she never got to see. We still had so much of our story left to write, and with her being gone, my pages aren't as colorful anymore. I really miss her, I miss her so much, all the time. Some days, most days, my brain doesn't realize she is gone. I never took her food bowl away, I still open my door slowly because my muscle memory remembers her being behind the door. It's like I lost my limb, and some days the phantom pains hurt so bad I feel like collapsing. It hurts, remembering I will live longer without her, than time with her. We only had 15 years together, I wish it was longer.
Darling girl, if only you knew how much I love you. I would have moved mountains for you. Those last photos we have together, before you went to sleep forever, I cherish them. I never realized how much love was in my eyes when I looked at you. The way my hands cradled your face, so gently. Honey I miss you. I wish I could shout at the sky, yell until my lungs bursts, how much I miss you.
I remember when you had finally passed away, and your dad held me while I screamed, I kept saying over and over "It's not fair" and my body crumbled. Because my precious love, it wasn't fair. It was not fair that your kidneys couldn't work anymore, you wanted to drink water and you tried so hard to eat but there was no more time. It was not fair that you didn't have more time. It was not fair that we had to separate, it wasn't fair. I remember wrapping you in your blanket one last time, before kissing you and placing you in your basket to go away with the sweet soul who set you free in the comfort of our home. I remember taking your fresh paw prints, putting them in our oven to cure, and sobbing when I took them out. I remember when she called me, to tell me your ashes were ready, and that same sweet soul brought your urn home, wrapped in your blanket. I remember when she left with you, and texting her, "Please keep her safe." She did, she kept you safe while I couldn't, and then she brought you home to me.
My girl, I wish there were enough words, but there never could be. I love you, my soulmate. I know our soul tie will never sever, but gosh I miss you. I will miss you the rest of my life. I will ache for you the rest of my life. But like the quote says,"I hope this grief stays with me. Because it's all the unexpressed love that I didn't get to tell her."
