Socialization progress going backwards

[Christykitty]

Hi! I'll start with the backstory first. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading all of these stories of socialization hope.

I started working from home in 2020 during the pandemic and got to discover all of the community cats in my neighborhood. I started feeding a cute torti cat in the fall of 2020. She would come to my door regularly for food and I eventually was able to pet her a bit while feeding her. She would see me turn the lights on every morning and would meow loudly for me to come to the door to feed her.

On 1/31/22 she gave birth to a kitten on my doorstep. It was 18° outside with snow on the ground. I quickly picked her and the kitten up and brought them inside. She had 2 more kittens and they have all been living in a small bathroom in my basement since then. The kittens are 7.5 weeks old.

She was uncooperative with a mobile vet but was treated for lung worm and coccidia after a stool sample was given. She had no issues using a litter box. I don't know yet if she has any other health issues.

Directly after she gave birth she let me pet her and rub her belly. She would roll over for me and purr. She seemed to love all of my petting. This was daily attention I gave her. She started to peak out of the bathroom when we started to let the kittens come out around 5 weeks of age. She seemed to get more comfortable every day coming out and momming her babies when they started to really run around and go wild.

We had a relapse a few days ago. One of the kittens turned on one of my son's loud toys by accident. (It was a toy lawnmower bubble machine).
Momma cat got spooked. She stayed spooked and was investigating everything in the room. At one point it seemed like she thought a ghost was hiding under a blanket. She watched it and inspected it from all angles and then jumped 3 feet in the air over nothing. I didn't know what to do other than trying to reassure her with a soft voice. Now she doesn't want me to pet her and is back hiding behind the toilet in her bathroom. She hasn't come out again. She also doesn't want me petting her. She has hissed and swatted to me. No bites or claws- hopefully that's a good sign.

Do I continue to try to socialize her? Do I let her live outside again after spaying? At some point soon I'll get her a full vet appt. and spayed. My plan was to keep her and one kitten. My brother is taking the other two.

Taking all suggestions!

 

[Christykitty]

I be been sitting in the bathroom with her all evening. Here is my view. I'll add a pic of the cute wild ones as well. They are not so wild in this picture

 

[tabbytom]

We had a relapse a few days ago. One of the kittens turned on one of my son's loud toys by accident. (It was a toy lawnmower bubble machine).
Momma cat got spooked. She stayed spooked and was investigating everything in the room. At one point it seemed like she thought a ghost was hiding under a blanket. She watched it and inspected it from all angles and then jumped 3 feet in the air over nothing. I didn't know what to do other than trying to reassure her with a soft voice. Now she doesn't want me to pet her and is back hiding behind the toilet in her bathroom. She hasn't come out again. She also doesn't want me petting her. She has hissed and swatted to me. No bites or claws- hopefully that's a good sign.

Do I continue to try to socialize her? Do I let her live outside again after spaying? At some point soon I'll get her a full vet appt. and spayed. My plan was to keep her and one kitten. My brother is taking the other two.

Firstly, thank you for taking Momma cat and her kittens in

Indeed Momma cat got spooked by the sound of the toy. It is natural for them to behave in this manner and on top of this, she is new to the house and is still exploring the place and tryin g to gain her confidence and before that could settle in, an additional loud sound from the toy will give her the jitters.

It is good that you are sitting with her and this will boost her confidence but it'll take awhile before she gains back some of her confidence. Keep staying with her and regain her trust in you and slowly let her explore the pace again.

Many things will spook her and she may jump again from up into the air while inspecting things, which is normal. Right now, she is being very cautious and thus the behavior of smelling stuffs and a little jumpy as she can be spooked by anything.

Just give her time, speak gently to he and assuring her that all is fine. Once she sense that all's safe, she'll eventually come out again but in the meantime, keep noises down.

Do continue to socialize her and please do not let her out again after spaying her. She'll be safer indoors and she'll live a better life indoors.
Your plan is a good plan, keep her and her kittens indoors. Good to hear that your brother is taking the other two kittens which I hope he'll keep them indoors too.

Have the kittens spayed and neutered once they are due for spaying and neutering.

Here's a list on spaying and neutering :- spay-and-neuter

Do keep us updated of the progress.

Oh, btw, Momma cat is indeed a cutie and so are her kittens

 

[Christykitty]

Thank you for the reassurance! My fear was that being inside was too scary and she was only tolerating it for the sake of the kittens. I very much want her to live with us!

 

[dahlia]

What a lovely bunch of cats. She has made good progress with you and I think she will get over this set-back. She may go into heat again soon. I have never had an inside cat go into heat but, from what I have heard, it involves a lot of vocalization and attempts to go outside.

 

[tabbytom]

Thank you for the reassurance! My fear was that being inside was too scary and she was only tolerating it for the sake of the kittens. I very much want her to live with us!

Just be patience with her and how much she ask you to let her out, reject her request.

Feel free to ask questions and many here are willing to help you answer them.

 

[Christykitty]

What a lovely bunch of cats. She has made good progress with you and I think she will get over this set-back. She may go into heat again soon. I have never had an inside cat go into heat but, from what I have heard, it involves a lot of vocalization and attempts to go outside.

I'll have to watch out for this. The mobile vet is coming to see the kittens next week and I'll talk with him about the best time to spay her. Because she is semi feral/stray and skittish we discussed giving her gabapentin after she is done nursing for her well check and vaccines. I would like to get her spayed soon. I canceled a weekend getaway in April so I can help adjust everyone but I have a vacation the end of June and can't cancel that.

 

[Christykitty]

Just be patience with her and how much she ask you to let her out, reject her request.

Feel free to ask questions and many here are willing to help you answer them.

So I freaked out too soon, maybe. She came out of the bathroom tonight to supervise the wilds! She rubbed my leg but does not want me petting her. That's okay!

I am not sure she would even know where to go to get outside at this point. Fingers crossed all goes well.

 

[tabbytom]

So I freaked out too soon, maybe. She came out of the bathroom tonight to supervise the wilds! She rubbed my leg but does not want me petting her. That's okay!

I am not sure she would even know where to go to get outside at this point. Fingers crossed all goes well.

Yea, it's natural to freak out too soon. But after this, you should be more calm.

You see, once things sort of settled down according to her, she's rubbing your leg and that's a big plus point even though she does not want to be petted. One trick is to steal pets when she's rubbing your legs. Do a quick pet on her nape and after a few times, form your hand into a fist and let her smell your fist. By forming a fist, it resembles another cat head and cat likes to head butt. Once she's used to your fist, let her rub her scents on it and then you gently move your fist along her whiskers (face) to the back of there ear. Repeat several times a day.

Don't remind her about the outside, always distract her if she seems like wanting to go out. Keep her in! She looks comfortable being indoors with her babies.

 

[Christykitty]

Yea, it's natural to freak out too soon. But after this, you should be more calm.

You see, once things sort of settled down according to her, she's rubbing your leg and that's a big plus point even though she does not want to be petted. One trick is to steal pets when she's rubbing your legs. Do a quick pet on her nape and after a few times, form your hand into a fist and let her smell your fist. By forming a fist, it resembles another cat head and cat likes to head butt. Once she's used to your fist, let her rub her scents on it and then you gently move your fist along her whiskers (face) to the back of there ear. Repeat several times a day.

Don't remind her about the outside, always distract her if she seems like wanting to go out. Keep her in! She looks comfortable being indoors with her babies.

How would you interpret this behavior? I let them all out of the bathroom this evening as usual. Momma came out right away too which was great. I was putting out food and she seemed excited and interested, rubbed my leg a couple times and then hissed and swatted at my leg. Did she create her own petting aggression when rubbing me? This isn't the first time she has hissed and swatted. It's happened a couple times since the getting spooked incident. It has happened when I walked around her, she'll hiss and tap the back of my legs.

 

[tabbytom]

How would you interpret this behavior? I let them all out of the bathroom this evening as usual. Momma came out right away too which was great. I was putting out food and she seemed excited and interested, rubbed my leg a couple times and then hissed and swatted at my leg. Did she create her own petting aggression when rubbing me? This isn't the first time she has hissed and swatted. It's happened a couple times since the getting spooked incident. It has happened when I walked around her, she'll hiss and tap the back of my legs.

This could mean that she's still weary of stuffs around her from the incident. Also, it could mean that before the came indoors, something else spooked her too and she'll also be weary and certain sounds and sight may remind her of what happened.

Just keep yourself calm as she can sense your feelings. Speak softly and lovingly to her as loud voices and sounds may tick her off. It's take some time for her to overcome this if she does overcome it. Else, it'll be just her and whenever she hiss or bat at things or your feet, just calm her down and tell her everything's ok and don't have to be afraid. She needs lots of assurance and love even though she may not get over such things but at least she has you whom she can put her trust in.

 

[Eurocat]

Hi!
You‘re doing a fantastic job and all she needs is patience, love and calmness around her and she will come around again. The trust you built isn‘t gone, it‘s just on the back burner at the moment and is covered by fear. Once she realizes everything is ok her bond to you will be stronger she will realize she got frightened - yes -but it‘s nothing to worry about and is part of the learning and socialzation process. Her life will be full of unexpected and scary incidents, but once she realizes her baseline stays the same and she becomes more confident/secure with her environment and within herself, it won‘t all be so frightening.
For her it’s a double wammy. She is a community cat who is now a mother. So a) she will have experienced a different level of socialization (not clear if stray or semi-feral) to a truly domesticated cat and be wary of her environment/humans anyway and now she has her kittens to protect.
Not surprising really that she spooked badly as the incident involved her kitten which she is protective of.
As far as I‘ve experienced in ferals/semi ferals, the hissing at feeding time is often a way of saying „drop the food“ and „then just leave me in peace“. The fact that she rubs against you shows her inner conflict. She likes you, but is still scared.
In my experience in the socialization process you may experience many moments of inner conflict with semi-ferals/ferals (or strays that have been living feral for some time). They want your presence, but they don‘t; they want to express affection but they‘re scared; they want to play with you but a big human can be threatening...Trust takes time.
I think the best way is just not to be phased by her behaviour and continue as before -calmly, patiently and reliably (and give her her space) and she will come around again.
All the best to you! )