Should I put my cat to sleep because of aggression issues? (LONG)

[vixen12]

I have had my 5 year old cat Izzie since she was a kitten and I love her dearly, but she hates every living being other than me. By “hateâ€, I mean she is extremely and viciously aggressive. The bizarre part is that she is completely different when she is with me. With me, Izzie is a huge love bug; she is very affectionate and cuddly. With other people/animals, it is like she is a completely different cat. Her behavior is almost feral and itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s really quite scary.

Some background information: the first time I witnessed Izzieâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s aggression was with my small dog, whom she attacked completely unprovoked. Out of nowhere, Izzie pounced on my dogâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s back and started digging her nails into her and biting her to the point where she drew blood. This continued until I grabbed her off the dog by the neck and separated them.

After this incident, I took Izzie to the vet to make sure that there wasnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t anything physically wrong with her (there wasnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t), and we tried gradually reintroducing them. Shortly afterwards, Izzie attacked the dog again. I separated them for a longer period and started researching cat aggression. I started using Bachâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s Rescue Remedy and Feliway on Izzie and also used Soft Paws on her nails to limit the damage that she could do through scratching.

Fast forward a month or so, and I reintroduced them again and witnessed yet another attack. That was over two years ago, and since then Izzie has been secluded to my bedroom, because I just donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t trust her anymore with the dog. I feel badly that Izzie is living in such a small space, especially since I sometimes spend weekends away from home and she is by herself. She is always left plenty of food and water and toys, but I know she is lonely.

Earlier this year, I decided that I would try to find a new home for Izzie without any other pets, where she could get the attention that she deserves and not have to be locked up all the time. My uncle, who lives in an apartment by himself with no other pets agreed to take her in, and I thought it would be a great home for her. I brought Izzie to his house and stayed there for about an hour to help her get settled in, and she seemed ok. She was curious and exploring but also being affectionate (rubbing against us, purring, etc.). Immediately after I left, my uncle told me that Izzie started lunging toward his face, scratching, biting, and hissing/growling. If he tried to ignore her or move to another part of the room, she would just follow him and continue trying to attack. He was a bit freaked out but thought she was just upset that I left, so endured her abuse for an hour before he called me to pick Izzie back up. As soon as I walked back into the apartment, she was back to the calm, normal cat.

I brought Izzie back home with me and have been feeling very discouraged every since. The vet prescribed Prozac (the second prescription antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication that we have tried), which helped with her peeing outside the litterbox (a completely separate issue which I would be able to tolerate on itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s own if she didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t have the aggression issues). But it has not helped with the aggression. Izzie still attacks anyone who she comes into contact with when I am not there. My boyfriend and father (both grown men) are terrified of her and will not enter the room without me there. My mother and sister (who were living with me up until 2 months ago) refuse to enter the room even if Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m with them. It truly is like jekyl and hyde and the only explanation I can think of is that Izzie has mental issues that cause her to turn into a demon cat.

In 2 weeks I will be moving into a new, small apartment, where I will no longer be able to separate Izzie and my dog. I have no idea what Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m going to do with Izzie. I have tried calling the Humane Society, but they donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t return my calls. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m afraid that if a shelter were to take Izzie in, they would put her to sleep once they see how aggressive she is. She is not adoptable under these circumstances. My dad suggested that I let her loose at a farm and she will “fend for herselfâ€, which seems cruel to me because I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know if she would find food and I would hate to have a coyote or other animal hurt her. So as much as I hate to even think about it, I am considering putting Izzie to sleep before I move. I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know what other option I have. I have truly tried every solution I can possibly think of and nothing has worked. My thought is that if Izzie is likely to be put down in a shelter, where she would be very stressed and afraid, she would be better off being put to sleep with me holding her and knowing that she is safe and loved.

As we speak, Izzie is snuggled up next to me purring and I feel like the worst pet mom ever for thinking about killing her, but I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know what else to do. Please advise if you think this would be the best thing to do, or what other suggestions anyone might have.

Thank you very much!

Izzieâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s mom

 

[ninacaliente]

I wish I had some suggestions for you, but unfortunately I don't. I just wanted to say that I don't think you should feel like a bad person - dealing with serious aggression in a pet is a very, very difficult thing. I hope some other posters will have some ideas that will help you, and I hope you can find a solution that you feel good about.

 

[rafm]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I too have an aggressive cat that has to be separated from one of our other cats because his attacks on this particular cat are horrific. I would be very conflicted if I were in your shoes. We've considered euthanizing our guy as well at times. Living with animals separated like that is very difficult and it takes a lot of patience.

You are in no way a bad mom. You are thinking of your pets and family. I can't tell you what I would do because I just don't know. But, if the only options are shelter or euthanizing the cat, I would opt for euthanasia. Have you spoken with your vet?

 

[carolina]

Well, I rescued a 12 yr old cat who was "left to fend for herself" on my building. She was old, sick, had thyroid problems, winter was coming, and I was seeing death approaching her quickly. She is also only sweet with me; does love my petsitter though. HATES my other cats, is terrified of them, and absolutely has to live separately.
I live in a one bedroom apartment, so that's hard..... I have separated my dining room and made it into an office, so she has that and the kitchen - she is contained by a baby gate, and by ssscat sprays above the furniture. Yes, it is a small space, and yes, she might feel lonely.... Although I spend most days with her in the office (I work in my home office) But I give her lots of love, spend lots of time with her, and she is happy and healthy. I will not put her to sleep.
At night, I close the kitties with me and give her the run of the house.
She has visual contact with the kitties all day through the baby gate....
I am soon moving to a 2-br apartment upstairs, where she will have her own room with far more space. From there hopefully a house with a garden.
Sure, it is not a perfect situation, but we make the best of it - She is far, far better off here, than dead or outside (where she was slowly and painfully dying).
Life is about giving and taking.... It is not perfect, but all we can do is the best of it.... Being in kind of that situation myself, I would make some changes, and keep her. Baby gates, cat trees, window sills, toys, spending time with her.... etc - she can be very happy there, and your mind at ease

 

[white cat lover]

I also have an aggressive kitty. She is deaf, which further complicated things. She would attack other animals, people, etc. In fact stitches were involved in her attacks w/ other cats. I too tried to re-home her (she's shy, deaf, & hates other animals) & even considered euthanizing her. I couldn't live w/ myself if I did euthanize her, it was my personal choice to keep trying - I knew that one way or another there had to be a solution. She now lives in my office (800 sq ft), and while yes I think it's not ideal IMO it's better than euthanizing her. Another cat lives in there with her, a very senior fat & cranky old man that can take anything she may dish out. The two of them have even been caught playing together!!

 

[catbehaviors]

Don't try introducing them by just putting them in the same room together, if that's what you're doing. It seems a bit like that since she is able to reach the dog. Perhaps you can try with one of them in a carrier or cage. Get them used to one another, and when you think they are ready, try letting them around one another. I'm sure you've already tried this method.

I know this must be extremely hard on you.

You are obviously the person Izzie trusts most in the world.

The decision is really up to you.

 

[bluerexbear]

Oh goodness! I am so sorry you are dealing with such aggression. I had a good friend whose dog was this way (a cocker spaniel) and she lived in MISERY with that dog for 14 years before it passed of natural causes. It was so pitiful to watch. She and the dog were both isolated because of the aggression.

My heart goes out to you and your kitty. Only you will know the best decision in the end. I would have a hard time putting her down, but I can totally understand wanting to do so. I once had to make that choice for a rescue cat who was so shy, he never came out of a hiding hole under my washer. I had him for over a year and he hid there hunkered down for the whole time. He was 14 years old, was in slow renal failure anyway, and I knew it was not going to change for him. He was utterly miserable and terrified and that was no way for him to have to live. I made the hard choice and I don't regret it. As sad as I was to have to do it, I knew that in death, he was at peace and no longer so scared.

 

[ducman69]

I would prefer isolation if possible, since the cat sounds very functional with you and merely has anti-social aggression towards others.

Either design an enclosure and treat her as you would a wild animal if you have the space, or try to confine the animals to respective 'territories' in the house if possible.

I do believe that there are circumstances where euthanization makes sense, but only if the aggression were universal (towards you as well) would that be the best option IMO. Only you have all the facts and know all the circumstances though to make the right decision. Best wishes as its not easy either way.

 

[lorlin6]

Wow, Vixen12 does this sound familiar. We had 7 CuddleBugs (indoor only), all came into our home as kittens within a few months of each other. What can I say, we're soft touches & had no idea what we were getting into. No problems until they turned about three (ages 6 to 7 now). One very aggressive male & one female who could not get along with anyone but her sister. Was so bad I was on the verge of getting an ulcer. Tried everything, rescue remedy, Feliway Comfort Zone (worked for two of them), flower essence therapies,........After two years of trying found a wonderful home for her finally last year, see her once a month when we trim her nails - feel so lucky there.
But Cricket, aggressive male, is another story. Have been working with our vet on this, Prozac works but the lethargy & weight gain are affecting his health. He's never allowed to be alone with the others unless we are in the house – we isolate him from the others at night. But quality of life for everyone during the day is challenging, to say the least. His other health issues, requiring specialty foods, make it impossible to find another home for him. He's a very affectionate companion – with us, just doesn't care for the four legged competition in the house.
So let me throw a controversial idea into this discussion. Would it be worth - instead of putting this so much loved companion to sleep - trying to use a shock collar? I have not yet tried this but am seriously considering the possibility. His attacks are becoming more frightening. We put a belled collar on him so we don't have to jump up every time we hear one of them moving around. Here's the one I'm looking at http://www.amazon.com/Innotek-SD-70-...pr_product_top

Liked the first review, good idea to try it on yourself first. Would not keep it on him all the time only to try to modify his behavior.

One more thought Vixen12, ask your vet about an anxiety wrap (aka ThunderShirts). Unfortunately our situation is not anxiety but more territorial. These are primarily used with dogs but our vet also recommends them for the occasional cat. Here's a site with some info - http://www.petabbey.com/content-prod..._and_cats.html

So sorry you are faced with this most difficult decision. My thoughts are with you!

 

[meuzettesmom]

I hope things have worked out for you. Not sure what I would do myself.

 

[catsallaround]

I have dealt with 4 cats with issues.
Dust came as a 1 yo abused/unneutered male. Got him fixed and he was ok with cats but horrible with my family-he warmed up.
Tommy was NUTS he would attack any cat. I kept him caged when I had to open my bedroom door so he would not dart and sometimes he would flip if he saw them. BUT after 6 years he lived happily with all my cats and stopped attacking. He was lost about 2 years after due to a brain tumor.
Noah came from my sister and from day one had issues with most of my cats I kept him in a room by himself and he seemed to thrive.
Ty(still have)....sigh not sure why but one cat he HATES and will get her on sight. That is the easiest of the issue cats as its just that one he will give issue with.

Another thing to think of is you may get bit at some point and for legal reasons keep the rabies shots up to date if you decide to keep. If you get bit and go to dr/hospital it will make life alot easier.

Tommy had a appt to be euthed but I backed out of it. The other 3 never did. On another note I did euth my dog due to him getting worse and worse(to point he could not be walked anymore if he saw anyone/dogs) It was hard but when it comes to the other animals/ppl getting hurt it sometimes needs to be done.

for you and your situation

 

[yayi]

Oh my, I put one of my cat to sleep because he was slowly and painfully dying and until now, I feel guilty. So killing one due to aggression towards others would never be an option for me.
Other than separation and since she is very devoted to you, have you tried the "scent" trick? Rub your dog with one of your unwashed, over used shirts so he can smell like you. Think back on the first attack on the dog. Maybe Izzie hated the dog shampoo. Did the attack come after you went out for a walk with the dog? Maybe you brought home some kind of scent that upset Izzie. I'm just talking about the dog because he is the other member of the family and I think this is the first thing you should try to resolve. Also, when Izzie is being aggressive do you immediately "scold" her with a hiss, NO, blowing on her face, "time out"? Do you reward her for good behavior (if any)?

 

[vixen12]

Thank you so much to each and every one of you who took the time to read my long story and reply! I really appreciate it. It is comforting to see that others of you have been in somewhat similar situations.

We have tried doing a slow, gradual reintroduction between Izzie and the dog (starting with Izzie in the carrier and working up to more direct interaction). It always starts out ok but then out of nowhere she attacks again. It's very unpredictable. I am honestly so scared that Izzie will seriously injure my dog (dog is small, 14 lbs and she does not defend herself at all when Izzie has attacked her, she just stands there terrified) that I don't think I am comfortable trying to introduce them again.

If my living situation were going to remain the same, I would probably keep Izzie isolated the way she is now since it's the best solution I have. I am actually living in my dad's house now and will be moving to a studio apartment in 2 weeks. Since it's such a small space, it's not really feasible to separate the dog and cat. I wish I could leave her at my dad's house, but he is scared to death of her and would not be comfortable going in to the room to feed her, etc. I wish I could clone myself and send my clone to live with Izzie!

The shock collar is an interesting suggestion and one I never thought about for a cat (still a little unsure how I feel about using one on a dog). If Izzie were shocked in the middle of an attack, I can see it stopping her, but I don't know if she would learn to associate the shock with the attacking and stop the behavior. It would definitely require a lot of monitoring. Thanks for the idea on the anxiety wrap - definitely worth looking into!

I am still brainstorming, but thanks again for the thoughts and suggestions!

Izzie's Mom

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by vixen12

Thank you so much to each and every one of you who took the time to read my long story and reply! I really appreciate it. It is comforting to see that others of you have been in somewhat similar situations.

We have tried doing a slow, gradual reintroduction between Izzie and the dog (starting with Izzie in the carrier and working up to more direct interaction). It always starts out ok but then out of nowhere she attacks again. It's very unpredictable. I am honestly so scared that Izzie will seriously injure my dog (dog is small, 14 lbs and she does not defend herself at all when Izzie has attacked her, she just stands there terrified) that I don't think I am comfortable trying to introduce them again.

If my living situation were going to remain the same, I would probably keep Izzie isolated the way she is now since it's the best solution I have. I am actually living in my dad's house now and will be moving to a studio apartment in 2 weeks. Since it's such a small space, it's not really feasible to separate the dog and cat. I wish I could leave her at my dad's house, but he is scared to death of her and would not be comfortable going in to the room to feed her, etc. I wish I could clone myself and send my clone to live with Izzie!

The shock collar is an interesting suggestion and one I never thought about for a cat (still a little unsure how I feel about using one on a dog). If Izzie were shocked in the middle of an attack, I can see it stopping her, but I don't know if she would learn to associate the shock with the attacking and stop the behavior. It would definitely require a lot of monitoring. Thanks for the idea on the anxiety wrap - definitely worth looking into!

I am still brainstorming, but thanks again for the thoughts and suggestions!

Izzie's Mom

I am against shock collars... I think it is cruel, so I am biased - I think humans should try them before using it....
BUT - what about leaving the dog with your dad instead of the cat? Seems that the cat came first? Why giving up on the kitty? If the kitty loves you, and has no problem living with you; you guys have a perfect relationship.... Why not keep her and let the dog go to a home where she can be happy, since the dog would have no problem being relocated?

 

[auntie crazy]

Originally Posted by Carolina

I am against shock collars... I think it is cruel, so I am biased - I think humans should try them before using it....
BUT - what about leaving the dog with your dad instead of the cat? Seems that the cat came first? Why giving up on the kitty? If the kitty loves you, and has no problem living with you; you guys have a perfect relationship.... Why not keep her and let the dog go to a home where she can be happy, since the dog would have no problem being relocated?

This is exactly what I was going to suggest. It would be a win for you, the dog, and Izzy, and a huge stress-buster for everyone involved.

And shock collars absolutely don't work on cats - they just make them a horrible nervous wreck, expecting attack at any moment. They're cruel and useless when applied to cats.

If your dad can't keep the dog, maybe you could find another home for her?

<<<Hugs>>> for being in such a tough situation!

AC

 

[meuzettesmom]

Amen to that, that is a tough situation.
I have two cats who hate each other, but nothing like you are going through. I just think someone missteps and the other one corrects it. My black cat tries to tell others what to do. My tabby gets sick of it and attacks. They skuffle then its peaceful for a while. Until Rhea's attitude comes back

 

[ducman69]

Originally Posted by Carolina

I am against shock collars... I think it is cruel, so I am biased - I think humans should try them before using it....

They definitely should. I have and any decent one will be adjustable for the minimum required correction needed. People that haven't tried them think they are like tasers, and having been tased.... ohhhhh no, not even remotely the same.

Cats and dogs are not Einstein though, so its important that such devices be used responsibly so that such correction is an extremely rare event as the animal understands cause and effect w/o confusion. My neighbor has a real fence, and the shock collar supplemental fence for example stopped them from digging and eventually become unnecessary as the behavior modification sticks without the need for constant reminders. I find that application fine, but I don't know how it could be effectively used in this scenario and a uncomfortable correction that isn't understood and just produces stress is cruel.

 

[mimi3908]

I don't know how you can consider euthanizing a cat since you've had her since she was a baby and now she is pretty much in the prime of her life although experiencing some aggressiveness issues. She is clearly okay with you and that to me suggests she is a fine kitty as long as she is a single pet, apparently. I know it is easier said than done, since you've tried placing it with your uncle and she goes berserk still. Still, there might be someone out there, more cat savvy, looking for a kitty and willing to take her in and maybe some cat non-kill organization willing to take them in. When I adopted my cat, I went to a place called Kitty Jungle in my area managed by a lady who was terrific in socializing cats...there are some people that can really do wonders for changing cat behaviors and maybe there is some organization around your area who will consider helping your cat adjust...just saying there is hope, and euthanizing healthy cats is just cruel IMHO. Hope for better ending.

 

[callista]

What about a collar that sprays citronella or beeps at the cat?

There are less extreme situations than the shock collar, meant to distract the cat.

And yeah, definitely try it out on your arm first. You don't want to give the cat anything more than the zap you get from touching the metal doorknob on a dry day...

 

[bastetservant]

In my opinion, rehoming the dog, no matter how hard that is on you, is the only right thing to do under the circumstances. Your cat, the cat you are "mom" to, deserves to live her life.


Robin