Should I Keep My Kitten? Advice Needed

[DarlingDruscilla]

I just adopted a 3 mo old kitten from the shelter, at the advice of my family, but I’m finding myself overwhelmed by how much attention Luna (the kitten) needs. I struggle with bipolar disorder and autism, and I often struggle to care for myself properly. My family had thought that getting a cat might help me not feel so alone and might help me with my depressive episodes. However, I think otherwise. When I brought her home from the shelter, I was filled with anxiety and still am. My job situation is rather unstable, and I am strained financially. In addition, I feel incredibly guilty about leaving Luna home alone all day when I am at work. I’ve only had her for 2 days, and I’ve already considered taking her back to the shelter several times.
Now that I write this down, I feel that the right decision is rather obvious. I should do the right thing and take her back to the shelter (no kill shelter). I suppose my real question is, is it normal to feel this much anxiety after adopting a cat? Am I right in my instincts to take her back, or am I just having common feelings of anxiety?

 

[Kieka]

This thread may help you, Feeling Guilty, Returning Kitten To Shelter

In general, it is not unusual to feel some trepidation about changes in our lives. I second guess my decisions all the time but you have to make the decision that is right for you. Your kitten probably sleeps while you are at work so don't worry about that. Whatever you decide I know it will work out; and it may be that you would be better off with a mellow adult cat instead of a kitten.

 

[KarenKat]

Hi and welcome to The Cat Site! I’m so sorry you are struggling with anxiety over Luna. It is common to feel anxiety over a new pet, as the link above shows lots of people post here asking similar questions. While I don’t want to hear that people feel anxious, often it’s a sign the you take the responsibility seriously and you care.

There’s no rush here, so like in the link Kieka shared what about a trial run for a week and see if you feel better? For you the right decision might not be to keep Luna, and that’s ok. But you also might bond with her and find she is a good addition to your life.

As far as leaving her home, most people are gone during the day. Our kitties generally nap all day. Just provide her with a few toys and she will be fine.

Is there something specific you are anxious about, or is it general?

 

[DarlingDruscilla]

Hi and welcome to The Cat Site! I’m so sorry you are struggling with anxiety over Luna. It is common to feel anxiety over a new pet, as the link above shows lots of people post here asking similar questions. While I don’t want to hear that people feel anxious, often it’s a sign the you take the responsibility seriously and you care.

There’s no rush here, so like in the link Kieka shared what about a trial run for a week and see if you feel better? For you the right decision might not be to keep Luna, and that’s ok. But you also might bond with her and find she is a good addition to your life.

As far as leaving her home, most people are gone during the day. Our kitties generally nap all day. Just provide her with a few toys and she will be fine.

Is there something specific you are anxious about, or is it general?

 

[DarlingDruscilla]

Mostly just general anxiety. It’s hard because I do love her, and we are bonding, but I just don’t know if I’ll be able to care for her.

 

[KarenKat]

I think it’s pretty normal to feel overwhelmed, especially with kittens. Take it slow, know that you always have the option of taking the kitten back and that is absolutely ok and a mature decision. If you still want companionship, you can look at adult cats that are a little more mellow and maybe less overwhelming.

In general take a deep breath and know you have the control to choose what it best for you and Luna.

 

[DarlingDruscilla]

Thank you. I’ve decided to give Luna another week before I make any major decisions. She seems to be settling in more, and is more content to sit with me quietly.

 

[catsknowme]

Wow...you have a lot of challenges on your plate but many, many of us understand. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, getting a second kitten might be useful. You could ask the shelter for suggestions about that -sometimes they will give you special 2-for-1 discounts. And if you inquire discreetly at the vet's, there may be programs to help with vet costs and also pet food pantries through Salvation Army or church groups. It also helps if (and that is IF you decide to keep your cat/s ), you have a mental health professional certify her/them as an emotional support animal/s (ESA).
Please realize that the ESA designation was put in place for exactly your type of situation! With the ESA, you are able to travel much easier with your pets as well as keep them with you in times of evacuation.
Also, Luna is probably feeling some confusion and anxiety herself. Just earlier this summer, she was likely in a litter of kittens, scampering about and one day, they were brought to the shelter and separated as the others were adopted out. Since she is settling down, that shows me that she is mustering up the courage to trust. You can try grooming her shoulders, neck and head with a toothbrush or a comb This simulates a mother cat's licking, especially on the top of the head, behind the ears and between the shoulder blades. But if it seems to overwhelming, then returning her to the shelter will be returning her to a familiar place. Just go easy on yourself and on Luna - this is new for both of you & we are here to support you in many ways!
I look forward to updates! and feel free to contact any of us via Private Message. ~Susan

 

[Mamanyt1953]

It looks as if your initial panic (quite normal) is subsiding as Luna gets more used to her new home. I'm happier than I can express for that. It takes a bit of time to get used to each other. That is true for ANY relationship, you know.

I applaud your decision to wait a week. If you decide that your new friend will be a permanent part of your home, we will be here to help you in any way possible!

 

[Diana Faye]

I recently got 2 kittens, just after loosing my best feline friend of 13 years. I had gotten him as an adult, and didn't really think a kitten would be too much different. I also underestimated my grief and anxiety of loosing the first cat.

When I got the first kitten, he did help with the initial grief but I was blindsided by my anxiety at the time, on top of the added anxiety that comes with bringing a kitten into the home. I was sure something was going to go wrong, and between his nighttime antics and my anxiety I wasn't getting any sleep. I was used to my senior cat, who was calm, self reliant, and super well behaved. I never worried about where he was at night because he was always within my reach. Kitten exploration, however, is just not conducive to rest.

What did help was getting into a routine to bond and help get me some sleep. Basically, I would play, feed, then nap. I was feeding 3-4x a day- once for breakfast, I was allowed to leave work for the first week for lunch, as soon as I came home, and then once more before *I* wanted to sleep. Play, eat, sleep was working, but I could not keep up with his energy, and I was feeling guilty leaving a baby home alone (come to find out, he sleeps all day anyway and could care less). I also felt like I was zeroing in on him, so my anxiety was through the roof.

I did end up getting the 2nd kitten about 2 weeks after. He's a little bit older, but still in the kitten stage, and pretty mellow. I wanted their personalities to compliment each other, and now they are best friends. As overwhelming as it sounds to care for 2 cats instead of one, it has helped to disperse my anxiety and they use up each other's energy so I can get some rest. Of course, 2nd kitty is the one who likes to get up on and into everything... so that's new lol.

This is just what has worked for me. Only you can decide if you want to take on a 2nd cat, let alone one, but it is an option. I do think what would be most important for you personally as well as the kitten is to set up a routine. Playing helps you bond, and is an outlet for the kitty's hunting instincts. That means actively getting them to jump, run, and chase until they start to get tired and lay down. After the play "hunt," feed. I found what is easiest for me is to give wet food as meals, and a bit of dry kibble to graze on through the day. After they eat, they will want to groom and eventually settle down for a rest.

For my last play, eat, sleep cycle, I did find that when I turn the lights off for bed, it's kitty club nightlife for them. So I found myself doing whatever I need to do to get ready for bed a little sooner, so I could turn out the lights and have 1 soft light on. This was where I had the hardest time burning up their energy even with playtime, and having 2 kittens helped me here the most. Right before I want to go to bed, I feed them. So far I am having about 80% success. They still get a 2nd wind before I'm ready to get up, but again they entertain each other for me.

 

[catsknowme]

@DianaFaye: Condolences on losing your other cat. And kudos for working out a great solution for your kitten - you have saved the lives of TWO cats while answering the needs of your new kitten and yourself.
My best friend had a similar situation when he adopted a young Husky dog. The Husky's energy was too high for the resident older Shih-Tzu. So my friend adopted an older kitten whose energy exceeds the Husky's and that cat & dog combo has been a perfect fit!

 

[ChocolateCats]

It's been over a week now, how did things work out?