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- Jan 24, 2018
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Hello my kind friends. As some of you know, my baby had a terrifying brush with death in May. She had her first major health decline due to Chronic Kidney Disease. She somehow bounced back...all her values dropped to almost half of what they were. She was spunky again, eating so much food, and most of all...she was talking to me again. She didn't meow when she was sick. She has always talked to me, a calico with the biggest personality in the tiniest body. However since last night, her behavior has changed. Her meow and purr are high pitched, she has stopped clawing our cat post, and her food consumption is slowing down. She just had bloodwork done on Sep 3rd. Her values remain static and only minimally increasing. I have no idea why she is acting like this. She has fluids today, and I'm having them take her vitals as well. She went from being 7.5 pounds and before her hospitalization, 5 pounds. She has continued to slowly lose weight...no matter how much I try to entice her or assist feed her. Her weight has gone down to 4.5 pounds. I'm scared we are reaching the end of her time Earthside. I already called a memorial service...called a few euthanasia places to do it at home...but I'm gutted. How do I know when its time? How do I know I didn't fail her? I told her I would stand with her and fight over 2 years ago when she first got sick...how do I know I couldn't have done more? I love her so much. I love her more than life itself. I don't know what I will do if I lose her. The thought is unbearable. My husband has come to love her as his own...their bond is precious. How do I know we will be okay? This feels like a nightmare. Nothing makes sense anymore...nothing. Below is a photo from brighter days...when her tummy was always full...her purr loud..and no pain. I miss her and she's laying here in front of me. I wish this wasn't real.
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