Rivel hardly eating after visual introduction to new cat :(

[Hoboforeternity]

So the first day i opened the door and use a pet gate it was ok. Rivel won't eat around the kitten, so i fed her in the kitchen. The next day, it's slightly getting worse, she's less keen to play, doesn't try to wake me up, kinda aggressive towards me.

Now today it's so difficult just to get her to eat. I work up morning, she doesn't eat. Eventually i spent so much time persuading her to it, no result, so i had to go to work. At noon i come home during break to check her out. Rivel still isn't eating, i kinda panicked so i got silver out of the house, fed her outside, so she slept on the bench she slept before i took her in. After that, i managed to hand-feed rivel bits of dry food. After that i left for work again, leaving silver outside sadly. I know she's safe and know the place there since she stayed there for 2 weeks, so at least for temporary measure to get rivel calm down again, i let her out.


In the evening, i come home rivel is still a little bit hesitant, but she's finally eating, but still jumpy at noises. The thing is she still follows me like usual when i prepare her food. She went to the kitchen with me, meows like she usually does, then i set her plate down, she hesitate, like checking her surroundings. Sniffed the food a bit, look at her back, look at the direction of the bathroom where i kept silver in, and hear ears rotates scanning for sound after that she just turn away. Sometimes she hides under the sofa, sometimes under kitchen table and oh boy, it's so hard to persuade her to eat. This morning and noon took like 1 hour. This evening, it only took a little time and she ate her wet food, but still looks uncomfortable and anxious. I don't know what to do. I love rivel and i really has taken a liking to silver. I don't know if i should keep trying, possibly at the expense of Rivel's health, or i should give it up and start searchin for people who want to adopt silver.


Silver herself is cheerful, easygoing as ever. She basically settled herself almost instantly, so whatever happens, she will easily find a place for her wherever.


I don't know, i am really stressed over this, i wanted to help silver to have the love she deserve, but anything that makes rivel uncomfortable makes me stressed too. It's just so sad seeing my baby not eating. Again, rivel is a very jumpy cat, maybe another cat is just too much for her? I am just devastated and confused.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Perhaps more time with the door closed between Silver and Rivel? That may do some good. Let me think about this some more. Rivel must eat, that's a given. We'll work on it. OH, C calicosrspecial , do you have any thoughts about this? It's kinda up your alley.

 

[Hoboforeternity]

I closed the door back, she still wouldn't eat. I had to get silver back outside temporarily at least, so i can find a solution first.

 

[di and bob]

i just don't think there has been enough time for Rivel to adjust to having another cat around. she will eat if she gets hungry enough. You might try leaving food out at night. Of course she is nervous. Don't force attention on her, right now she wants to concentrate on the intruder. Just talk softly to her and reassure her. It's only been a little over two weeks, hardly long enough for cats to be comfortable around each other, that takes many weeks to months. Rivel is sensing your nervousness and that is making her more nervous. you might try a quarter to half dose of cat calming treats from Amazon, they may help. In the meantime, review the steps to cat introductions and follow them closely. As long as there is no deep bites and scratches, hissing, growling, and swatting are normal. Rivel may need small amounts of food offered frequently now until she adjusts. get something high calorie like lickable treats to try. Leave some dry out at night. Try not to be so concerned and nervous, cats pick up on this quickly. Act nonchalant and Rivel will calm down, an ignored cat is much calmer.

 

[Hoboforeternity]

i just don't think there has been enough time for Rivel to adjust to having another cat around. she will eat if she gets hungry enough. You might try leaving food out at night. Of course she is nervous. Don't force attention on her, right now she wants to concentrate on the intruder. Just talk softly to her and reassure her. It's only been a little over two weeks, hardly long enough for cats to be comfortable around each other, that takes many weeks to months. Rivel is sensing your nervousness and that is making her more nervous. you might try a quarter to half dose of cat calming treats from Amazon, they may help. In the meantime, review the steps to cat introductions and follow them closely. As long as there is no deep bites and scratches, hissing, growling, and swatting are normal. Rivel may need small amounts of food offered frequently now until she adjusts. get something high calorie like lickable treats to try. Leave some dry out at night. Try not to be so concerned and nervous, cats pick up on this quickly. Act nonchalant and Rivel will calm down, an ignored cat is much calmer.

Alright i got her inside again, closed the door again. Start from scratch. Like if rivel won't eat, how long is the limit before she can actually get sick from it? I am really worried becuase i heard cats can get liver issues from not eating long period of time.

 

[Hoboforeternity]

So yeah i am sorry, i am thinking more clearly now. I have always been somewhat anxious person, and worry too much.

I think the main reason is because i try to open the door immediately at all times. They did get along during play. When playing i switch sides and let them see each other naturally while either is distracted. But my mistake i keep each other on view all the times. Maybe that's what makes rivel anxious because there are no breaks.

 

[ArtNJ]

Cats do a think I call guard duty. Usually, its not triggered by mere visual, but you have a small place and all cats are different. On guard duty, cats are not going to play, get petted and will be reluctant to eat. They must be vigilant!

Thing is, this is a normal phase. Usually it happens after unrestricted contact. The way to get over it is time with nothing bad happening. If a younger cat is a real PITA jumping and such, it can take a while. But behind a gate? Shouldn't be long.

I totally disagree that leaving the kitten "on view" all the time is a mistake. That is how Rivel will get past this, time seeing the kitten with nothing bad happening. If Rivel is not eating and there is no space further away he'll eat, then yeah, maybe cover the gate for an hour. Otherwise, let it do its work is my recommendation.

 

[calicosrspecial]

So yeah i am sorry, i am thinking more clearly now. I have always been somewhat anxious person, and worry too much.

I think the main reason is because i try to open the door immediately at all times. They did get along during play. When playing i switch sides and let them see each other naturally while either is distracted. But my mistake i keep each other on view all the times. Maybe that's what makes rivel anxious because there are no breaks.

Hi,

I think getting cats together is really all about confidence and trust and we achieve confidence through (Play, Food, Height and Love which I can describe more fully) and we achieve trust through Positive Associations (using many different things) and Positive Encounters (so if there is no threat, no negativity, etc it is a positive encounter).

There are a lot of ways to achieve success as you can see by the responses. There is no "one way" but multiple ways and really whatever works is the right way.

I am in the Di and Bob camp where there is a slower process following the formal introduction process. BUT ArtNJ has a lot of success with his way. Whatever the human feels most comfortable and confident with it best. The more calm and confident the human is the more the cats will feel that as cats take on our (humans) emotions.

I will say, I do adult intros and don't do many kitten intros so there are better people out there than I.

But I would say, don't worry Rival will eat. Just be calm and confident and reassuring with her, feed her wherever she feels most comfortable. It is very early in them being together so there is always some unease. But the kitten doesn't mean harm so just try to keep their encounters as positive as possible and reassure Rival and try to stay as calm and confident as you can.

Don't worry, this happens all the time and we worry much more than we need to.

Just keep in mind the basic fundamentals - Confidence, Positive Association, Positive Encounters (limiting or avoiding negatives) and stay as calm and confident as possible as the cats will take on the human's emotions.

 

[ArtNJ]

I can totally see the value of building positive associations. There is an element of it in some of the guides, such as the feeding on opposite sides of the door thing. However, its such a hard thing to do when a cat is on guard duty, as here. A cat that thinks its on guard duty against an intruder doesn't usually want to play, get petted or eat, and Rivel totally seems to be in this mode. Also, if I recall right, Rivel is a young cat. He hasn't given any indications so far that he needs an unusually lengthy approach. Anyway, it seems Hoboforeternity is very much by natural disposition in the go slow camp, and I see no problem with that unless it totally wastes the period where a kitten is young enough to be perceived as a kitten. I just haven't seen anything in the description of how its going that makes me think the go slow approach is actually necessary.

 

[di and bob]

Get some Delectable Lickables in stew and if she gets one of those down a day that will keep her going. They are at Wal-Mart and Dollar General in the treats. I gave had sick cats not eat anything for 3-4 days and they are still fine. Even a small amount is good. A few licks every 4 hours or so is good. Just get her to eating and then gradually move her closer. Even if it takes weeks. Visual sightings of the kitten is what is going to get her used to the baby, so don't really limit that.

 

[Lari]

I don't really have any advice on the introductions. Ours ended up working out because they had to (also, we had a pocket door in our apartment at the time, so they both had half the apartment and o one was in just one room), but every time I've tried to make my cat eat and followed her around with food, it basically made her more stubborn and not want to eat. Rivel can maybe sense your desperation about her wanting to eat and it's putting her off as well.

 

[calicosrspecial]

All great points.

 

[Hoboforeternity]

I don't really have any advice on the introductions. Ours ended up working out because they had to (also, we had a pocket door in our apartment at the time, so they both had half the apartment and o one was in just one room), but every time I've tried to make my cat eat and followed her around with food, it basically made her more stubborn and not want to eat. Rivel can maybe sense your desperation about her wanting to eat and it's putting her off as well.

Well i was able to get her eat tonight. First i gave her dry food from my hands, then her wet food from her plate, but she turn away from this.

Eventually i scoop a little wet food on my finger, rub it on her mouth, and she licks it. I keep scooping some food and eventually she eat from her plate.


I mean could there be another reason why she don't wanna eat? Like suddenly bored of the food (because she accept her dry food immediately which is around 20% of her diet) or even medical issue? She doesn't seem sick, still played actively this evening.

Also thanks for all the suggestion everyone. I think knowing rivel, slow method will works the best. I will open the door and use the gate only during playtime, in which both cats do seem to enjoy.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Well i was able to get her eat tonight. First i gave her dry food from my hands, then her wet food from her plate, but she turn away from this.

Eventually i scoop a little wet food on my finger, rub it on her mouth, and she licks it. I keep scooping some food and eventually she eat from her plate.


I mean could there be another reason why she don't wanna eat? Like suddenly bored of the food (because she accept her dry food immediately which is around 20% of her diet) or even medical issue? She doesn't seem sick, still played actively this evening.

Also thanks for all the suggestion everyone. I think knowing rivel, slow method will works the best. I will open the door and use the gate only during playtime, in which both cats do seem to enjoy.

Others can add to this but cats are cats and do things differently for all sorts of reasons. I don't think it is a medical issue as you mentioned she played and ate her dry food. She might not be as hungry, might be tired of the wet food or the flavor or a number of other innocent reasons. I wouldn't worry.

For success in introducing cats it really comes down to knowledge and effort. The people on this thread are excellent and have the knowledge you guide you to success and I can tell you will put in the effort (the cats have a lovingly home) so all the ingredients are there for success.

Just keep posting and ask anything anytime and I am sure everyone on the thread will help out. If you aren't getting a response it may be that we are not getting an alert that you posted so feel free to send a message that you posted and we can find it and respond.

Keep up the great work. The love you have for them is wonderful!!

 

[Hoboforeternity]

Others can add to this but cats are cats and do things differently for all sorts of reasons. I don't think it is a medical issue as you mentioned she played and ate her dry food. She might not be as hungry, might be tired of the wet food or the flavor or a number of other innocent reasons. I wouldn't worry.

i guess. she doesn't try to wake me up this morning, and still won't eat unless i jumpstart her by feeding her by hand. again, doesn't feel sick, she still respond appropriately with toys and other stimuli.

 

[Hoboforeternity]

Today is still the same. I still have to hand feed rivel to get her eating, and the process take like 30 minutes. I hope she get over this soon because i am tired. I usually play with her for 15 minutes, 5 minutes prep, then left her to eat while u do other chores or cook for myself.

She isn't lethargic becuase just before her dinner, she played like usual, jumping and running around.

I will try other variables like changing plate later.

 

[klunick]

I know you'd hate to do it but you might have to do some "tough love" with her. Clearly, there is nothing wrong with her as she is acting normally except eating. Maybe this is her way of getting Daddy's attention back from the new baby???

 

[calicosrspecial]

i guess. she doesn't try to wake me up this morning, and still won't eat unless i jumpstart her by feeding her by hand. again, doesn't feel sick, she still respond appropriately with toys and other stimuli.

I wonder if she may be getting spoiled?

It is really good she is playing, acting normal otherwise.

No hiding, etc?

I know, it is time consuming. I would try the "tough love" mentioned and give her the food and then do your thing. Or maybe just give the hard/dry food after play and see if she eats that and then maybe in a day or two try the wet.

I wouldn't worry. Everything else is normal. I suspect she might be bored with the wet food and/or may just like the extra attention. The fact she is playing and acting normally is very positive and suggests not to worry.

My one girl is not eating her wet food as well for the last few days. Sometimes they just get bored with the flavor or something. My ferals are even worse (and a person would not think a feral would be so picky).

Let's see how it goes but don't worry. I don't think there is anything to worry about.

 

[Hoboforeternity]

I wonder if she may be getting spoiled?

It is really good she is playing, acting normal otherwise.

No hiding, etc?

I know, it is time consuming. I would try the "tough love" mentioned and give her the food and then do your thing. Or maybe just give the hard/dry food after play and see if she eats that and then maybe in a day or two try the wet.

I wouldn't worry. Everything else is normal. I suspect she might be bored with the wet food and/or may just like the extra attention. The fact she is playing and acting normally is very positive and suggests not to worry.

My one girl is not eating her wet food as well for the last few days. Sometimes they just get bored with the flavor or something. My ferals are even worse (and a person would not think a feral would be so picky).

Let's see how it goes but don't worry. I don't think there is anything to worry about.

She's only hiding if i try to coax her into eating her wet food. Like she's on her bed, i put the plate near her, and she's like "nyeeh" and move away, sometimes to the sofa, sometimes under the kitchen table, sometimes to my room. I repeat this several times until eventually she started licking my finger and this usually started her appetite. I offered her more with my finger and she eventually move on to the plate and eat the rest.


But the thing is she doesn't seem to have problem with dry food but she also only want to eat from my hand. Could it be like what klunick said? Just seeking more attention because of the new baby?

Otherwise she plays fine, slept fine, once in a while she would climb on her tree and vigilant towards the bathroom door where the kitten is.

As for "tough love" how long without eating before it become dangerous for her?

 

[calicosrspecial]

She's only hiding if i try to coax her into eating her wet food. Like she's on her bed, i put the plate near her, and she's like "nyeeh" and move away, sometimes to the sofa, sometimes under the kitchen table, sometimes to my room. I repeat this several times until eventually she started licking my finger and this usually started her appetite. I offered her more with my finger and she eventually move on to the plate and eat the rest.


But the thing is she doesn't seem to have problem with dry food but she also only want to eat from my hand. Could it be like what klunick said? Just seeking more attention because of the new baby?

Otherwise she plays fine, slept fine, once in a while she would climb on her tree and vigilant towards the bathroom door where the kitten is.

As for "tough love" how long without eating before it become dangerous for her?

"She's only hiding if i try to coax her into eating her wet food." - That is pretty normal since it is different than usual. Cats like routines and consistency so any change can make them "suspicious" and they change their behavior a little.

"I repeat this several times until eventually she started licking my finger and this usually started her appetite. I offered her more with my finger and she eventually move on to the plate and eat the rest." - It is good she eventually eats though.

"But the thing is she doesn't seem to have problem with dry food but she also only want to eat from my hand." - At least she is eating the dry food. She eats from the bowl or dish as well as from your hand, right?

" Could it be like what klunick said? Just seeking more attention because of the new baby?" - I think it could be. Or she likes to be spoiled.

"Otherwise she plays fine, slept fine, once in a while she would climb on her tree and vigilant towards the bathroom door where the kitten is." - That is good she is playing, sleeping, going on her tree. When you write vigilant you mean just focusing on the room where the kitten is?

"As for "tough love" how long without eating before it become dangerous for her? :- I am not a vet so I would check with the vet but if she is eating her dry food and drinking like normal and using the litter box like normal I wouldn't worry too much about her not eating the wet food. I think if she is hungry she will be eating but if she isn't eating for 2 days then we need to really get her to eat. But I suspect she will eat each day. But let's monitor and watch her but I don't get a sense there is an issue. But we will watch it.