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Resource For Grieving Or Caregiving

Discussion in 'Crossing the Bridge' started by DukenGizmo, Mar 27, 2019.

  1. DukenGizmo

    DukenGizmo Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

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    Apr 20, 2018
    Fayetteville, NC
    Hi all,

    I just wanted to talk about something I experienced last night and share the info in case it can help someone else.

    In caring for my cats odd diagnosis and managing his medicine, I’ve been really overwhelmed lately. I’ve been looking up anticipatory grief and other topics that relate to emotions when it comes to your pets.

    This googling storm led me to a website called Day by Day Caregiver Support. They offer. 24/7 hotline for anyone overwhelmed with caring for a terminal pet or someone grieving a loss. Even just to chat about losing your pet one day. Sometimes these things can be silly but I took a chance and called last night. I spent an hour on the phone with an amazing man named Chris. It was very, very worth my time. They are compassionate volunteers and you can cry your heart out.

    Anyway, I just wanted to let anyone know that you aren’t alone. Even if it feels that way you aren’t. Please give this a try if you are struggling. It’s actually a really great service. Just look up day by day caregiver support and you’ll find the hotline on their website.

    Hope this helps anyone with a broken heart. ❤️❤️❤️
     

  2. Furballsmom

    Furballsmom Cat Fan especially Black Cats Staff Member Forum Helper

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    Jan 9, 2018
    Colorado USA
    Bless your heart for finding, using and sharing about this, and bless you for hanging in there with your cat :vibes::hugs:
     
    les26 and DukenGizmo purraised this.


  3. 1 bruce 1

    1 bruce 1 TCS Member Top Cat

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    Apr 8, 2016
    This is good information to have, and I thank you for sharing :)
    The caregiving route for a terminally ill pet is so similar to caring for a human because they are living things and depend on us for everything. Sleep deprivation is a big factor, and it makes us feel like we're going nuts.
    It's very cool that this guy spent an hour with you on the phone. Sometimes when we get to that point we feel house bound, we just need someone to talk to.
    :grouphug::thanks:
     
    Mamanyt1953, PushPurrCatPaws, les26 and 2 others purraised this.

  4. DukenGizmo

    DukenGizmo Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

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    Apr 20, 2018
    Fayetteville, NC
    Yes, and we also spoke about hyper vigilance. Feeling like you have to sleep with one eye open. A lot of really in depth topics. I’ve noticed in the past with similar things that they don’t spend too much time with you. I know there are a lot of resources but just wanted to shout this group out as it was invaluable.
     
    Mamanyt1953, PushPurrCatPaws, les26 and 2 others purraised this.

  5. m3rma1d

    m3rma1d NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Super Cat

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    Oct 12, 2018
    Maine
    That's amazing.
    :hearthrob:
     
    Mamanyt1953, les26, DukenGizmo and 1 other person purraised this.

  6. 1 bruce 1

    1 bruce 1 TCS Member Top Cat

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    Apr 8, 2016
    Yes, that doesn't lead to good sleep.
    We were caring for a cat that was about 18 and had a stroke. I think we slept a combination of about 8 hours in a week. That was exhausting.
    I've wondered how a vet clinic would do if they had some kind of what human hospitals use as a chaplain. The vets have things to do and sometimes they want to talk but they just can't, if they had someone who was there to just talk with owners who were grieving over the loss, or a grim diagnosis.....?
     

  7. Furballsmom

    Furballsmom Cat Fan especially Black Cats Staff Member Forum Helper

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    Colorado USA
    Oh, by the way, to the OP, you could try some holy basil, and some L-tryptophan to help with the stress and emotional toll :)
     
    Mamanyt1953, 1 bruce 1, les26 and 1 other person purraised this.

  8. DukenGizmo

    DukenGizmo Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

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    Apr 20, 2018
    Fayetteville, NC
    Yes, that would be very interesting. One things we talked about last night is how vets have a hard job of dealing with the human side. Like they aren’t psychologists, but they often have experience in managing human emotion. That would be a great go between!
     
    Mamanyt1953, 1 bruce 1, les26 and 1 other person purraised this.

  9. DukenGizmo

    DukenGizmo Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    31
    68
    Apr 20, 2018
    Fayetteville, NC
    Lots of meditation and podcasts too!
     
    les26 and Furballsmom purraised this.

  10. Furballsmom

    Furballsmom Cat Fan especially Black Cats Staff Member Forum Helper

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    Colorado USA
    I've often wondered - a vets job is super multi faceted, as an understatement!!
     
    Mamanyt1953, les26 and DukenGizmo purraised this.

  11. 1 bruce 1

    1 bruce 1 TCS Member Top Cat

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    Apr 8, 2016
    Sometimes I get really pissed off at vets.
    Then I read about how high their suicide rate is and the burn out rate is and I feel guilty for being upset, they're people too and deal with a lot of crap and a lot of sickness and a lot of grieving and a lot of mixed up stuff that I wouldn't want to deal with. It's a high pressure job. Those vets who can remain kind and do the right thing, should win some kind of award.
    It's a lot like anything else, learning how the other side lives can help you deal with your grief or anger or whatever, you can put yourself into someone elses boots and learn how you're not alone or all by yourself.
     
    Mamanyt1953, Furballsmom and DukenGizmo purraised this.

  12. DukenGizmo

    DukenGizmo Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    31
    68
    Apr 20, 2018
    Fayetteville, NC
    Yeah, I know what you mean. It does make you angry sometimes. Like the ones that just send you on your way with medicine and then wash their hands of it. I’ve seen a lot of that. But I’ve learned to stick up for myself and advocate. They’re people too, so usually if you pipe up and say hey, this is really impacting me, they get it. :)
     
    Mamanyt1953, Furballsmom and PushPurrCatPaws purraised this.

  13. di and bob

    di and bob TCS Member Top Cat

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    Dec 12, 2012
    Nebraska, USA
    Tahnks so much for the info! Sometimes it does help to release some of those emotions that build up inside. No matter what the circumstances, there are ALWAYS feelings of guilt, fear, regret, and anger. If you can't find them at the time of death you look back into the past. We have to understand that we are not perfect, but i think the most important realization is that we are not alone,,,,,
     
    will2002 and Furballsmom purraised this.

  14. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

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    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    Thank you for sharing this resource. It will be invaluable to many people.
     
    Furballsmom purraised this.

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