Resident Cat Seems Pissed... At Me!

[Elfilou]

I adopted/rehomed a second cat 9 days ago. Resident cat is Elfie a female, almost 3 years old. And the new cat is Fester a 5 year old guy. Elfie seems angry with me but seems to get along fine with the other cat.

The introductions went surprisingly well... I'm still in the middle of the intro's obviously but they are together most of the day. Because that seems to be what they both want! They are still separated during the night and when I'm not home, just to be sure. There is no more hissing (mostly, today I saw her hiss at him a total of 2 times maybe, and it was cause she forgot he was there) and no swiping (at eachother).

Maybe it's important to mention that, during the introductions when they were fed on either sides of a screendoor, I touched and scared her a couple times. Which caused her to show some redirected aggression towards me where she hissed and swiped at my hand. She had never done that to me or any other human before - and seemed confused right after she'd done it. This happened twice. Both times it was without nails but I imagine it must not have been fun and might've made some negative assosiations with my hands. I was trying to comfort her, which is a very human reaction but also a stupid move.

Today Elfie mostly just gave him his space when he slept but when he was active she followed him around and sat from a good distance looking at what he was doing - while he explored the place. In the evening when usually I play with her she started trying to engage him in play by chasing him (no pouncing, she doesn't touch him). He is still nervous from moving homes and obviously did not feel like playing in a room he didn't even feel comfortable walking in yet! But I've seen them touch noses, he has rubbed his body onto her and they approach eachother with tails high. Obviously they are fine... right? They're doing awesome I'm beyond grateful for that.

The thing is... Elf is a persian. She was cut short this summer so her hair is still growing back but it does need a quick 5 minute comb every other day. She won't let me at the moment. I do the same I've done for years, I come sit next to her scratchy thing when I find her sleeping and start combing her face with her treats handy, but she won't even take the treat (very strange she is super food motivated). Today when she noticed I was combing her she sat up and swiped at my hand and ran away. I don't like holding her down so I just let her go as always. She needs to be combed though. Another thing to mention is that she is fine with petting and my hands near her face, and my face near her face, and whatnot. AND yet another thing happened today where she was staring at him, and I touched her to distract her, and she swiped at me again. Clearly pissed as all hell. She's never moody and on edge like that.

I don't like her being unpredictable. Both times I did not expect it. These are normal ways I usually touch her in. I don't know? Will this just go away when she gets used to his presence, you think? Or will this become my new relationship with her? I feel kinda sad about it and I feel like it's my own fault.

Thanks for reading if you did and here is a picture to put faces behind a name or something!(Yes, Fester is lovingly named after his twin from the Addams family, Uncle Fester. Because they're both so beautiful?)

 

[rubysmama]

Oh, wow... Fester to too adorable. As, also, is Elfie.

Glad they are getting along so well already. Sorry, though, that Elfie is being aggressive towards you. I'm not sure what to suggest, however, I will post a couple TCS articles that might be helpful. Hopefully other members will reply with suggestions.

Cat Aggression Toward People
Re-directed Aggression In Cats

 

[catlover73]

Is there anything that could have caused a change to the way you smell before the swiping happened? Have you changed anything such as laundry detergent, new body wash, new perfume, deodorant, shampoo/conditioner, hairspray? I am asking this because if something threw off the way you smell to Elfie this could be brief episodes of non-recognition aggression caused by the change in the way you smell to her. Also has brush recently been cleaned in way that could change the scent?

Have you tried announcing your presence when you enter her space? I am asking this in case she was startled when you went to touch her.

I am also going to post an article on non-recognition aggression for you to look at.
How To Deal With Non-recognition Aggression In Cats

I am also going to post an article on play aggression in case that is the cause of the re-directed aggression you are experiencing.
How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats

Here is one more article I thought may be helpful.
Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do)

 

[Elfilou]

Oh, wow... Fester to too adorable. As, also, is Elfie.

Glad they are getting along so well already. Sorry, though, that Elfie is being aggressive towards you. I'm not sure what to suggest, however, I will post a couple TCS articles that might be helpful. Hopefully other members will reply with suggestions.

Cat Aggression Toward People
Re-directed Aggression In Cats

Haha aren't they? Can't wait to see Fester in a full coat this winter. They shaved him down cause of matting. And thanks for suggesting those articles, I read through them and the redirected aggression is very likely to have happened. She smelled him through the door, hissed, I touched her to comfort her and she turned her aggression towards me.

 

[di and bob]

It has only been nine days.....both of their worlds has been turned upside down. Cats absolutely hate change. In time they will become family, and the introduction has gone fabulously. I think of the fights and time it took to get my tribe together! Elfie is hiding her confusion and nervousness about having a stranger in her house, just like all cats do. She will accept him fully, and he will her, but it will take months, not days, for them to bond. she will stop responding to you with swipes when she gets comfortable again. For now she is too nervous and upset to have ANYONE touch her or get into her space, and that includes you. This is perfectly normal. Have you ever been at the edge of a high cliff and someone walks up to you? That feeling of terror and invasion is what she feels, she is not acting rationally right now. The only thing to do is to not touch her at all if she is concentrating on something else. Let her see you, make sure she knows you are there by getting her attention and let her make the first move. With her shorter coat it won't hurt to miss a few brushings. Brush Fester and show her it can be enjoyable. He is providing her with entertainment and companionship all ready. It will get better from here on out. Females are naturally more standoffish than males so don't expect a cuddly pile of love right away, but they will become friends and family, and she will return to the loving cat of before in time. All the luck!

 

[Elfilou]

Is there anything that could have caused a change to the way you smell before the swiping happened? Have you changed anything such as laundry detergent, new body wash, new perfume, deodorant, shampoo/conditioner, hairspray? I am asking this because if something threw off the way you smell to Elfie this could be brief episodes of non-recognition aggression caused by the change in the way you smell to her. Also has brush recently been cleaned in way that could change the scent?

Have you tried announcing your presence when you enter her space? I am asking this in case she was startled when you went to touch her.

I am also going to post an article on non-recognition aggression for you to look at.
How To Deal With Non-recognition Aggression In Cats

I am also going to post an article on play aggression in case that is the cause of the re-directed aggression you are experiencing.
How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats

Here is one more article I thought may be helpful.
Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do)

Hmmm, I can't think of any new perfumes or soaps etc. I have very sensitive skin so even when it comes to laundry detergent and dishwashing soap I've used the same thing I've used for years.

I did touch Fester right after touching her. That time he was sitting net to me on the sofa and she was staring at him a little too intensely for my liking. Her pupils were really wide and I didn't want her to focus that energy on him, so I tried distracting her.

The comb might have also smeller like Fester. I combed his face and hairless body a few times to get him used to me brushing him even now that he's bald. I thought she was over smelling him though? His scent is starting to be everywhere around the apartment so you'd think she got used to it by now.

As for the jealousy; great article! I don't really believe cats are capable of feeling jealousy.

Sorry for the long wait between replies, long day- forgot to finish this reply!

 

[Elfilou]

It has only been nine days.....both of their worlds has been turned upside down. Cats absolutely hate change. In time they will become family, and the introduction has gone fabulously. I think of the fights and time it took to get my tribe together! Elfie is hiding her confusion and nervousness about having a stranger in her house, just like all cats do. She will accept him fully, and he will her, but it will take months, not days, for them to bond. she will stop responding to you with swipes when she gets comfortable again. For now she is too nervous and upset to have ANYONE touch her or get into her space, and that includes you. This is perfectly normal. Have you ever been at the edge of a high cliff and someone walks up to you? That feeling of terror and invasion is what she feels, she is not acting rationally right now. The only thing to do is to not touch her at all if she is concentrating on something else. Let her see you, make sure she knows you are there by getting her attention and let her make the first move. With her shorter coat it won't hurt to miss a few brushings. Brush Fester and show her it can be enjoyable. He is providing her with entertainment and companionship all ready. It will get better from here on out. Females are naturally more standoffish than males so don't expect a cuddly pile of love right away, but they will become friends and family, and she will return to the loving cat of before in time. All the luck!

Thank you! This rang very true to me and I do think I just have to give her more space and time. She still loves on me in the mornings and is still herself to a certain degree, but you're right in that I do have to keep reminding myself that both of their worlds have probably crumbled from underneath them and that they are dealing with it in a very elegant way which probably takes a lot of mental strength.

I just hope she lets me brush her again, slowly, perhaps I will take her in a quiet dark room with the door closed so she can feel more safe while brushing. She hates the scissors even more (I dont know why! They don't even hurt!?) so although I want to give her all the space she needs to adjust, I can't let her coat knot up. That'll hurt her skin and I hate seeing her in pain when taking knots out.

Thanks though, that was a good reminder.

 

[GreyLady]

I think it will go away. I just got a second cat almost amonth ago, and for the first week or maybe a little more, Greycat (resident) didnt want to be touched when Honey was around and was hesitant to let his guard down and really relax unless she was totally out of sight, and even still a little bit then. I think when a cat is new, still in the introduction process or slightly after they have been allowed together, they are just on edge. Grey NEVER would act aggressively thowads me but did strike out once or twice when I made the mistake of trying to touch him/interact when he was on edge about her being near him.

Now they are totally fine and sleep together on the bed and I pet them both together. I think that your cat is just on edge and as she gets used to always being with the new kitty she will relax. Id give it a few weeks if possible. Maybe you can also start desensitizing her again, giving treats when the scossors and brushes are just near her, then barely touching a good spot, so on... Good luck!

 

[Elfilou]

Now they are totally fine and sleep together on the bed and I pet them both together. I think that your cat is just on edge and as she gets used to always being with the new kitty she will relax.

Awww! Isn't that a beautiful picture to imagine!! lol. Thank you so much for sharing that. Fester and Elf are getting along so good despite the stress they are under. It has also been stressful on me as well haha I'm a bit of a nervous wreck when it comes to these things! I want things to work out but I think we're on the right track, especially after reading your success story! As I speak they're engaging in play

 

[GreyLady]

Awww! Isn't that a beautiful picture to imagine!! lol. Thank you so much for sharing that. Fester and Elf are getting along so good despite the stress they are under. It has also been stressful on me as well haha I'm a bit of a nervous wreck when it comes to these things! I want things to work out but I think we're on the right track, especially after reading your success story! As I speak they're engaging in play

Yay! That's definately how it starts, playing, then getting more comfortable being closer and closer, lounging in the same area, then closer. I remember I was so happy when they finally layed on different areas of the couch together. Honey always rubs on him and plops down and tries to cuddle but he doesn't want to usually get that close- he moves like a foot away it's pretty funny.

I think your kitties will be fine with time! It is harder on the resident cat than on the new cat and they don't relax like normal for a while. Just hang in there! I was totally nervous the same way.

 

[Wile]

Hi Elfi - sorry to hear your female persian is still a bit stressed by the new introduction. It sounds like you are doing everything right when it comes to introducing Fester to the household. At this moment there really isn't much to do but wait for them to adjust. As for Elf, just a thought but if you can't brush her a short-term alternative might be to have her shaved like Fester. At least that way you don't have to worry about matting during her adjustment period.

 

[Elfilou]

Hey! Thanks for all the suggestions and supportive advice guys. Elf is as good as back to normal, she is definitely less on edge and is getting more and more comfortable around Fester every day. Brushing is also going well again and there seems to be no more hand-sensitivity so that's great. I'm so lucky with these cats. They are chasing eachother and sleep/groom near eachother.

Fester is a bit older and does swat Elf when she tries to engage in play and he doesn't feel like it. So yeah, things have turned around a bit maybe! Haha. Thanks everyone.