Resident Cat Chasing New Cat

[susanm9006]

If you could catch some video, I’d love to see the body language between the two.

 

[jen]

So, it now seems like Larry (who was neutered at the shelter five years ago, when he was a year old) might be trying to "mate" with Gracie (who had been spayed by her previous owner).

She's still afraid of him when they're together -- we keep him on a harness and he's not aggressive or anything, but he's started to very calmly walk over to wherever she is an just kind of STAND over her, peering down, almost in a domination-esque way... and she does NOT like it. He doesn't bite or swat or growl, he just kind of stands there until she hisses... then he walks away or, if he's not getting the hint, we direct him away.

Could he somehow still be feeling "amorous"? Is there a male/female dynamic that remains, even when both cats were long ago spayed/neutered?

And, most importantly, is there any way to deter this behavior or remind Larry that his new sister is NOT for dating? ;-)

That doesn't sound like mating behavior at all. That is just him being dominant. It's not that she doesn't like it, she is submissive to him but still confident enough to tell him to knock it off by hissing.

They are communicating. That is great. I don't think you really have much of a problem here at all. They chase and play and stalk and hiss and eat together and do all the normal things that cats do. Some just do it more dramatically. Your stress is just going to negatively affect them. So calm down. Keep a laser pointer on you to use to distract him when he is annoying you or you want him to stop being dominant. The last thing you want to do is yell out or anything negative because you don't want them to feel punished for behaving like this.

 

[GraciesParent]

They are communicating. That is great. I don't think you really have much of a problem here at all.

 

[GraciesParent]

So, it's been a couple of weeks and there hasn't been much progress. In fact, it seems like Gracie is getting *more* afraid.

She now refuses to come down to the lower level of the house. Her safe room has always been the guest room, and we have a high pet gate a few feet outside the door. After a few weeks, we moved the gate farther from the door so that she could access two more rooms up there, which she does without any problems. It's like she's created her own three-room apartment.

But she will not willingly go beyond the pet gate, even when we leave it open. If we carry her downstairs, she runs back up. Those earlier chase sessions with Larry seem to have really spooked her.

That said...

She's had a couple of very positive (we think?) interactions with Larry, wherein she was on my sister's bed, and Larry hopped up unexpectedly. Gracie did not flee... in fact, she sat there, frozen in place, while he cleaned her head! This happened twice last week, but she remains (seemingly) VERY scared of him otherwise. Her breathing gets a lot faster when she sees him, and her immediate reaction to his presence is almost always to run... except for the two head-cleaning episodes (after which, both cats received treats and MUCH praise).

She scurries under the same dresser over and over again whenever she spots him in the hall. Sometimes, he'll go in and lie down in front of the dresser, as though waiting for her to come out to play... but she will not budge until long after he's left the room. She freaks out and tries to break free if we try to carry her downstairs... but once she's down there, if Larry is sequestered in another room, she'll happily roam and play for a while before hurrying back up to her safe space.

Thing is, when she was first rehomed w/ my sister, she couldn't WAIT to get downstairs, and would stay down for at least a couple of hours. (Again, with Larry sequestered elsewhere, though.) Now, getting her to stay downstairs for more than about five minutes is almost impossible.

We're not sure what we're doing wrong, or if there's some way to "remind" her that she's safe, secure and okay no matter where she is in the house, so that maybe she'll expand her territory. We have a couple of multi-cat Feliway plug-ins placed strategically, but they don't seem to be making any difference.

It's becoming exhausting trying to spend time with each cat separately -- Larry cries and whines (loudly and persistently) if he's sequestered, Gracie hides if he's out, we feel guilty because he has the run of the house and she's stuck (of her own choosing) in her three rooms almost all day... and it's been more than two months, but it seems like things are REgressing instead of PROgressing.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[GraciesParent]

Further update: we've taken the pet gate down to see if that makes any difference.

It seemed to be a psychological barrier for Gracie -- i.e., she wouldn't go past it, even when it was wide open -- so we're going to see if this helps her feel more free to roam. Fingers and paws are crossed.

 

[GraciesParent]

Annnnd... it seems the removal of the gate has made no difference for Gracie. At least, not yet.

She still won't venture past her three "safe" rooms, and unfortunately all the barrier-free space has done so far is allowed Larry more access to Gracie... which has meant more chasing/hiding. And we worry this will backfire on us and make the situation worse.

So...

Does anyone have any ideas on how to curb Larry's enthusiasm and boost Gracie's confidence?

He doesn't want to hurt her, but she still seems very scared of him.

Joint play sessions have been futile: while Larry MIGHT be distracted by play, Gracie winds up under furniture with eyes fixated on Larry, and no amount of toys, coaxing or treats will get her to come out.

Any advice would be hugely appreciated!

 

[Kflowers]

time is your friend. Gracie has found hiding places that make her feel secure. Larry has a new hobby. After awhile, that is a lot longer than you expect, they'll grow bored and ignore each other or become friends. This statement is based on the temperament of the Larry and Gracie as I understand it from your descriptions. No one is trying to hurt the other, no one is trying to escape the house.

I realize that sometimes an hour, five minutes can seem long. We're talking weeks here. Let them work on it. As long as there is no blood, or broken things, you don't need to interfere. Did I suggest putting all the breakable and heavy bric-a-brac in boxes until after this phase? If not, I do now.

 

[momof3b1g]

I feel for you. I'm having trouble with my cats too. But it's the new kids on the block who is the bully.
I have 9 and if its not one it's the other. Even the resident cats act up sometimes. The new cats have been in the house for over a year. And started acting up one day. I feel bad for the cats who get bullied

 

[GraciesParent]

Thanks, K Kflowers -- our concern is that, after two months, Gracie seems to be becoming less and less confident, instead of the opposite. She used to be a lot more outgoing, but now seems to be getting more nervous and skittish.

It does seem to change from moment to moment, though -- yesterday, she calmly walked right past Larry (who was lying down in the hall) and into my sister's bedroom for cuddles... but the moment Larry got up and came into the room as well (about a minute later), Gracie scurried out and he (of course) ran after her, thinking they were playing. She then bolted to one of her safe spots and stayed there for a good long while.

She seems OK with him when he's still, but as soon as he's walking or moving, she thinks (correctly) that he's going to chase her and she panics. But we have no idea how to curb his chase instinct -- even tiring him out with play doesn't work. The moment he sees Gracie move, he chases.

And M momof3b1g : nine cats! Wow! I'm tired just thinking of all the refereeing you must do! ;-)

 

[Kflowers]

I'd hold onto the thought that Gracie walks by Larry and smacks him from time to time. Those aren't the actions of a cat who is afraid. Cats who are truly fearful don't put themselves near the one that frightens them.

 

[GraciesParent]

He does seem to respect her boundaries if she sets them... but he hasn't figured out that chasing = terror for Gracie.

And she hasn't figured out that chasing ≠ certain death.

 

[Kflowers]

As you know these things take time. Try to remember that year in kindergarten. Yeah, some days you were brave and some days you didn't want to go to school at all. But at the end of the summer you were willing to give it another try. Or at least you didn't make your mom carry you into class every day.

 

[momof3b1g]

He does seem to respect her boundaries if she sets them... but he hasn't figured out that chasing = terror for Gracie.

And she hasn't figured out that chasing ≠ certain death.

That's been my problem. Even after putting a litter box in the family room. She still goes downstairs to use it. And gets chased out of it. :/ happened tonight. Just hope she was able to use it before being attacked

 

[GraciesParent]

M momof3b1g , is your cat being pounced on/attacked or just chased for fun and then left alone? (I hope it's the latter. Good luck!)

Thankfully, Larry only wants to play and never physically touches Gracie during/after a chase... but it scares the bejesus out of her just the same.

Here's a photo of the two of them from about a month ago, back when Gracie was still brave enough to go into the living room downstairs. She no longer does... at least, not willingly. Sometimes, we'll carry her down but she heads back to her safe room after about five minutes, even if Larry is sequestered in a closed room elsewhere.

 

[momof3b1g]

M momof3b1g , is your cat being pounced on/attacked or just chased for fun and then left alone? (I hope it's the latter. Good luck!)

Thankfully, Larry only wants to play and never physically touches Gracie during/after a chase... but it scares the bejesus out of her just the same.

Here's a photo of the two of them from about a month ago, back when Gracie was still brave enough to go into the living room downstairs. She no longer does... at least, not willingly. Sometimes, we'll carry her down but she heads back to her safe room after about five minutes, even if Larry is sequestered in a closed room elsewhere.

View attachment 269169

No it's not for fun. That's the thing. It is stressing them out. Not to mention me. I took Levi and Lillian in summer of 2016. They were strays in my yard. I always try to find a home or rescue to take them. But couldn't. My oldest 6 are mom and her kittens we took in. Almost 8 years ago. Zane was dropped off about 4 years ago. I've had many others. But been able to find somewhere to take them. One of Levi and Lillians sisters showed up and we gave her to a lady . sadly the 4th litter mate was found dead in the street.
Everything was going good til this past year. I can't remember when it happened. But things were going wrong. Put a new roof on the house , dd moved out. Her room got closed off to the cats. Then a stray showed up. A lady took them for 2 weeks and let mom cat out. So we lost our spot at the shelter. So I ended up taking them in. Big mistake.

 

[KarenKat]

When we introduced Olive to our resident kitties Gohan and Trin, Gohan chased her for months. It wasn’t play or fun, it was extreme territoriality. Neither cat made any noise unless Olive was caught, then she would hiss and growl. Gohan would sometimes bop her and sometimes poise as if to strike and then walk away.

Olive kept venturing out though, and Gohan wouldn’t go in the safe room. Over time she definitely was frightened of him more, but learned if she sat in place he wouldn’t chase. Gohan started chasing less and less, mainly because of time since nothing we did could distract him. After about 7 months he was only chasing her about 5% of the tone.

We are now at almost 14 months and they still sit in place when they see each other and freeze, but they don’t chase and everyone is pretty confident. Keep building up Gracies confidence with play, and maybe keep the barrier up to give her some Larry-free space. And give it time. There are some really positive signs, and with time they will work things out.

 

[GraciesParent]

That's encouraging, KarenKat , thanks!

Thankfully, Larry doesn't seem territorial... just overly exuberant. At least, that's what we assume since he's not aggressive towards Gracie, just chase-y.

When you say Gohan wouldn't go in the safe room, do you mean he refused to go in (even if the door was open?) or he wasn't *allowed* in?

And is Olive now more confident? Does she roam freely or is she still iffy?

 

[KarenKat]

When you say Gohan wouldn't go in the safe room, do you mean he refused to go in (even if the door was open?) or he wasn't *allowed* in?

He would act as if there was an invisible barrier. I think he felt he had lost that territory, he stopped going in the room even if we were in there with the door open. It was almost funny if he wasn’t obviously a little stressed.

It took a few months where he kind of withdrew upstairs more, but he is now back to going everywhere and owning the whole house again.

And is Olive now more confident? Does she roam freely or is she still iffy?

We got really lucky with Olive - she is not aggressive but she knows what she wants and where she wants to be and she would always push forward. If we were trying to play or feed she would make sure she was around. Over time she built up confidence and she is now sleeping on the bed and going into the office (which still is mostly Gohan’s domain). She roams freely and barrels down the stairs. But then she never had a huge confidence problem, so it felt pretty easy from our end.

 

[GraciesParent]

Thanks for the 411, KarenKat !

Unfortunately for us, Larry LOVES going into Gracie's space, which would always happen when we had her gate open so she could come out and roam. He goes in, hangs out and uses her litter box (which she's actually OK with -- it's never deterred her from using it thereafter), while she either scurries into another room or hides under the bed in the safe room.

We're going to restrict his access for a while, gate open or not, to hopefully boost Gracie's sense of security more.

She's just started sneezing and snoofing (forcefully blowing air out her nostrils as if trying to clear something) more and more over the past couple of days, so we're wondering if it could be stress... or just dust/dry air because it's winter.

 

[mandmcats]

Thanks for the 411, KarenKat !

Unfortunately for us, Larry LOVES going into Gracie's space, which would always happen when we had her gate open so she could come out and roam. He goes in, hangs out and uses her litter box (which she's actually OK with -- it's never deterred her from using it thereafter), while she either scurries into another room or hides under the bed in the safe room.

We're going to restrict his access for a while, gate open or not, to hopefully boost Gracie's sense of security more.

She's just started sneezing and snoofing (forcefully blowing air out her nostrils as if trying to clear something) more and more over the past couple of days, so we're wondering if it could be stress... or just dust/dry air because it's winter.

Just curious... any updates regarding the chasing? My scenario sounds really familiar with the new cat retreating more and more under the bed of her safe space while the resident cat loves to give chase. Is Larry still chasing?