Regain my cat’s trust? Please help!

[macncheeserocks]

I adopted my cat about half a year ago. He was about 3, and people at the shelter believed that he was a feral. It took him some time but he finally settled in at my home. He loved chin scratches and purrs like a motorboat. I really thought we got along, for the first 3 months….

He accidentally got a wound when jumping around in the kitchen. The vet first gave me some antibiotics that I have to give him orally. Oh man he did not like it! Then I have to put a collar on his neck, and I chose the soft ones because I knew he’d hate the hard one. Then his surgery was scheduled, and he needed to wear the collar for 2 more weeks after the surgery.

By the time I took him to the vet to check wound, I was told he was a bit overweight. So I started to measure how much food I gave him. When he first got here, I spoiled him with different food and treats (my bad!), so he was SO not happy about limited amount of food he got. And its not like I only give him half of the amount he was given earlier, I followed what’s on the food bag, which I believe tend to be a bit more than what he actually needs.

So far the oral meds, the collar, the taking him to vet several times, and the diet together completely changed his attitude towards me. He was nervous when I pet him, and sometimes run away if he sees me approaching. I tried to ignore him and gave him space for two weeks now. The only interaction we had was that I feed him and cleaned his litter, which broke my heart. I am not sure how long this will continue, and I feel like my home is a prison because he got scared when he is on my path to the kitchen or I turned around too quickly. I guess during the past few months, I need to choose from “he likes me” or “he is healthy”, and I went with the latter.

He now looks like me as if I ruined his life and I was starving him on purpose. Does anyone has any tips for regaining cat’s trust? I really don’t know what to do now…

 

[stephanietx]

Play with him using interactive toys. Consistency, patience, and TLC will regain his trust. Don't leave food down for him 24/7, but go to scheduled feedings. That way he will associate you with something positive (food). Try feeding him some yummy wet food, too, like a treat, but do it in place of a regular food serving. Just be patient. You could also try getting some calming agents such as a Comfort Zone diffuser and run it for a month or two in your home to help him de-stress.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
Try starting to feed canned food. It will be more satisfying for him and he'll likely lose weight gradually, safely.

Also, look into trying freeze dried treats.

Personally, I think he's sensing your emotions to a large degree.

He now looks like me as if I ruined his life and I was starving him on purpose

This is your perspective rather than how he actually feels. I'm not sure, but you're feeling guilty? There's no need to.

Look at it all this way. He's with you, safe, sheltered, cared for and loved. Try to become as calm and fun loving as you were before all these events. Go about your day, continue to ignore him except for playtime and feeding times - but try and be aware of where he is

How Much Food Should I Feed My Cat? – Cat Articles

 

[syzygycat]

keep his carrier and medication out of his site and say his name and talk to him in positive inflections during food and play times. (dont use the same infections when giving meds/putting him in a carrier. So he knows only good things happen who you use that tone. But most importantly, actively play with him using a cat to on string and stick. Youull need to try a few things til he likes one, you can save a ton of money making them yourself. Every cat can love "pay guy"

 

[macncheeserocks]

Hi!
Try starting to feed canned food. It will be more satisfying for him and he'll likely lose weight gradually, safely.

Also, look into trying freeze dried treats.

Personally, I think he's sensing your emotions to a large degree.

This is your perspective rather than how he actually feels. I'm not sure, but you're feeling guilty? There's no need to.

Look at it all this way. He's with you, safe, sheltered, cared for and loved. Try to become as calm and fun loving as you were before all these events. Go about your day, continue to ignore him except for playtime and feeding times - but try and be aware of where he is

How Much Food Should I Feed My Cat? – Cat Articles

Honestly speaking I do feel guilty... He changed a lot because what I did to him. But I guess you are right, I will keep what I am doing and play with him more! Thank so much!

 

[macncheeserocks]

keep his carrier and medication out of his site and say his name and talk to him in positive inflections during food and play times. (dont use the same infections when giving meds/putting him in a carrier. So he knows only good things happen who you use that tone. But most importantly, actively play with him using a cat to on string and stick. Youull need to try a few things til he likes one, you can save a ton of money making them yourself. Every cat can love "pay guy"

OMG great idea. Now I think every time he sees me approaching he might think I am about to put him in the carrier. I will try to say different things when I want to pet him now so he could tell!

 

[macncheeserocks]

Play with him using interactive toys. Consistency, patience, and TLC will regain his trust. Don't leave food down for him 24/7, but go to scheduled feedings. That way he will associate you with something positive (food). Try feeding him some yummy wet food, too, like a treat, but do it in place of a regular food serving. Just be patient. You could also try getting some calming agents such as a Comfort Zone diffuser and run it for a month or two in your home to help him de-stress.

I do have that comfort diffuser and I completely forget about that! Thanks for the tips! I do feed him dry in the morning and wet in the evening, just reduced to the amount he actually needs now. I used to give him 20 treats per day (Yeah I was crazy back then). I guess I could give him one or two to get him associate yummy food with me~

 

[Furballsmom]

Let us know how things go !

 

[stephanietx]

I use food crunchies as treats and I only give them out sporadically. Regular treats are really unhealthy and cause a lot of weight gain in many cats. We feed wet morning and evening and crunchies as a snack.

 

[syzygycat]

I use food crunchies as treats and I only give them out sporadically. Regular treats are really unhealthy and cause a lot of weight gain in many cats. We feed wet morning and evening and crunchies as a snack.

I have a healthier, cheaper, but grosser alternative to treats.
Two times a week. I put 1/4 chicken breast and 1/2 a cup water in the pressure cooker for 8min. I keep it in a ziplock bag when its done.
The chicken get half as much bigger from the water absorbing in. and 8min on a pressure cooker makes the checken so soft it falls off the bone. Even cooled in a fridge, its still soft enough to pinch off any size piece with 2 fingers. And its so juicy that the cats smell it a floor away, even when its cold
It works better than any treat did for me, the gross part it smelling chicken cooking, and maybe touching chicken.

 

[syzygycat]

keep his carrier and medication out of his site and say his name and talk to him in positive inflections during food and play times. (dont use the same infections when giving meds/putting him in a carrier. So he knows only good things happen who you use that tone. But most importantly, actively play with him using a cat to on string and stick. Youull need to try a few things til he likes one, you can save a ton of money making them yourself. Every cat can love "pay guy"

OMG great idea. Now I think every time he sees me approaching he might think I am about to put him in the carrier. I will try to say different things when I want to pet him now so he could tell!

Yikes I was too groggy when I wrote this, so many typos, last words were supposed to be "play guy" (not "pay guy").

Anyway, I wanted to add about the inflections thing. Luke was terrified of being taken outside, would always hide if there was any hint we were going to open the front door (like putting on shoes, hearing the house keys). It was a huge pain when we want to make sure hes not stuck in a closet or drawer before leaving the house.

We started calling Luke, Luka whenever he was getting food/treat, chin scratched, played with.

Eventually he figured out scary stuff, like going outside, never happens when we call for Luka. Now he comes running to Luka.


I know we are making him apprehensive when he isn't called my the nick name, but in a situation like yours the cat can at least know to relax 20+hours a day he isn't getting scary medical stuff done to him.

 

[duncanmac]

I have a former feral who took a long time to totally trust me. During that time I stuffed him very unceremoniously into a carrier for a move and after that wore off, I stepped on his tail (I was pretty impressed that he let me get close enough to actually do that)

To win him back took time, treats and play. We're buddies again with lots of pets and purrs - he has been sleeping pressed up against me all winter which is a first. But it took a year before I could pick him up again.

And my non-professional advice: don't worry about him getting a little chubby right now. Spoil him a bit until he's back to normal and then start cutting back slowly.

 

[VioletCatSays]

Hi Macandchesserocks! I have raised 2 feral cats. They are very challenging and trust is paramount! My advice is similar to others posting here and I agree that time will be the key to regaining trust. I found with my two ferals and even with my non-feral cats that giving a treat immediately after the medicine is helpful. Even if your cat won't eat the treat from your hand, putting the treat on the floor and backing away for kitty to eat it may have a good effect. Playing is also a good way to show your cat that not all the interactions with you are bad. Over time your cat will trust you again. Good luck!