- Joined
- Dec 19, 2020
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I've had Maple for ten months now. She was given to me by a friend who thought he wanted a cat but soon realized it wasn't working out. She's a bengal. The breeder he got her from advertised on Craigslist. She came with no papers and he paid $1000 for her. The exchange took place on the street. Luckily she's in very good health but I have no idea what she's been through where socialization is concerned. It took a very long time to gain her trust.
I think my first mistake was being too aggressive with my own affectionate gestures. I had spent the last fifteen years with two bottle babies who were unbelievably affectionate so it was hard to get out of the habit of being too touchy-feely with her. Once I backed off a bit with that she was more receptive to being touched.
Things have improved but I don't quite know where I stand with her at this point.
The positives: lots of slow blinks from her. She rubs against me a lot. In fact, when we're playing she constantly stops and jumps up on the back of the couch or a chair so she can rub against me or have me stroke her cheek. I'm not sure if all the rubbing is a sign of direct affection or if it just means she's comfortable with me.
Also, when we're playing and I'm kneeling down she likes to crawl underneath me and settle between my legs. So I know she's comfortable being that close to me.
She'll also jump into the computer chair with me sometimes and settle down, smushed between me and the side of the chair. She'll let me pet her, but she doesn't stay long. She only does this in the AM when the sun is very bright in the bedroom where I have my computer. She never cuddles up with me otherwise. Sometimes at night when I'm watching TV she'll jump on the couch next to me, but she won't settle down.
I also get some mixed signals; sometimes she'll come running up to me but stop short a foot or two away and slink away. She's also bitey. It's gotten better since I've trained myself NOT to pet her like I pet my old cats, but I think she's got a wild streak in her. Whenever she bites I get up and leave the room. The problem is that this is how any potential emotional exchange ends.
Reading over this it doesn't sound all that bad. I suppose my feelings have a lot to do with the fact that I miss having a mushy cat. All my other cats were extremely mushy, and despite getting her at six months old, it doesn't feel like she's bonded to me all that much. I love her dearly and am not unhappy with her, but in a couple months I will have had her for a year and I'm getting frustrated. I need to know where I stand with her, if I'm doing anything wrong, and what I can do to bring us a little closer. Bengals are supposed to be fiercely affectionate, but I'm aware that each cat is different.
Thanks for reading!
I think my first mistake was being too aggressive with my own affectionate gestures. I had spent the last fifteen years with two bottle babies who were unbelievably affectionate so it was hard to get out of the habit of being too touchy-feely with her. Once I backed off a bit with that she was more receptive to being touched.
Things have improved but I don't quite know where I stand with her at this point.
The positives: lots of slow blinks from her. She rubs against me a lot. In fact, when we're playing she constantly stops and jumps up on the back of the couch or a chair so she can rub against me or have me stroke her cheek. I'm not sure if all the rubbing is a sign of direct affection or if it just means she's comfortable with me.
Also, when we're playing and I'm kneeling down she likes to crawl underneath me and settle between my legs. So I know she's comfortable being that close to me.
She'll also jump into the computer chair with me sometimes and settle down, smushed between me and the side of the chair. She'll let me pet her, but she doesn't stay long. She only does this in the AM when the sun is very bright in the bedroom where I have my computer. She never cuddles up with me otherwise. Sometimes at night when I'm watching TV she'll jump on the couch next to me, but she won't settle down.
I also get some mixed signals; sometimes she'll come running up to me but stop short a foot or two away and slink away. She's also bitey. It's gotten better since I've trained myself NOT to pet her like I pet my old cats, but I think she's got a wild streak in her. Whenever she bites I get up and leave the room. The problem is that this is how any potential emotional exchange ends.
Reading over this it doesn't sound all that bad. I suppose my feelings have a lot to do with the fact that I miss having a mushy cat. All my other cats were extremely mushy, and despite getting her at six months old, it doesn't feel like she's bonded to me all that much. I love her dearly and am not unhappy with her, but in a couple months I will have had her for a year and I'm getting frustrated. I need to know where I stand with her, if I'm doing anything wrong, and what I can do to bring us a little closer. Bengals are supposed to be fiercely affectionate, but I'm aware that each cat is different.
Thanks for reading!