(Re)introducing our two females (10 & 5 yrs old)

[LadybugsMama]

Hi fellow cat parents <3 I posted recently about a move I had coming up—I moved into a 2 story townhome with my boyfriend and our two cats, Kitty (10F, spayed) and Ladybug (5F, spayed).

My question initially was about whether to isolate them separately or in the same room while adjusting. They lived together for about a year in our last apartment. We introduced them in about a week; they were never cuddle buddies, but tolerated each other, would sleep on the same bed, etc.

We ended up isolating them separately when we moved, which I think was for the best because Ladybug in particular was very scared. They’ve both since warmed up and have loved exploring the place, playing, eating, sleeping, cuddling with us.

However, Kitty has seemingly forgotten who Ladybug is and is NOT happy. On our first evening, we let them both explore at the same time thinking they would remember each other. They absolutely did not. I think they had a fur flying fight: Kitty chased Ladybug into the bedroom, cornered her, and both were growling, hissing, very upset. One of them even peed on me, ahhh hah.

We separated them immediately and set up base camps: Ladybug is in the bedroom and Kitty is in the office (she was his first). We are trying the proper introduction method of swapping scent objects, swapping rooms, etc. They do well with that. It’s when they see each other that things go downhill.

We have cracked the door on other base camp and fed them treats, which distract them, but otherwise Kitty mostly growls or hisses; Ladybug sometimes growls as well. I bought a baby gate hoping to increase protection and visibility while being able to let one wander the rest of the house at a time. Neither usually lingers at the gate unless being fed a treat or if my boyfriend and I are both in the room on the other side of the gate. Sometimes they just stare quietly; other times it’s back to growling.

We thought we were making progress, but tonight I let Ladybug roam while Kitty was in the office with my boyfriend. He didn’t realize Ladybug was out and opened the door to look for something and Kitty got out, saw Ladybug on the stairs, and similarly chased her into the bedroom while yowling. He was able to separate them and no one seemed hurt but Kitty hissed more and Ladybug took a few minutes before going back to her goofy self.

So now we know we are definitely NOT at a stage of introducing them without a barrier… but I just am so worried that for some reason we aren’t ever going to get back to tolerating one another :-( Tomorrow will be a week in our new place, which I know isn’t a long time for new cat introductions… but is it OK for a reintroduction to be going like this? We also bought the girls some CBD treats and they have a prescription for gabapentin, the latter of which I haven’t tried giving Kitty yet.

I would love any advice or reassurance! I love them both so much and Kitty in particular has been through some incredibly tough times with my boyfriend… I don’t think anyone here would suggest rehoming but just want to clarify that's not an option. Thank you all <3

Also, some additional context: Kitty is definitely the alpha. She was less obvious about it in our first apartment, but Ladybug would try to play with her and she would shut it down by walking away or swatting. She’s older and bigger, and spent more of her life as an only cat. She’s clearly trying to establish dominance in the new place, imo, but Ladybug doesn’t seem to be vying for it per se.

Sharing photos of the girls <3

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Breathe deep, and try to relax. You just pushed things a bit too fast. You cannot move any faster than the most reluctant cat is comfortable with. In this case, it seems to be Kitty. This is like a new introduction, but in a place that is strange to BOTH cats. What I would suggest is, when you let one cat out to roam, place the other cat in the roaming cat's base camp. The idea behind this is to get the entire home smelling like BOTH cats, and them used to that.

Beautiful cats, BTW. Um...which one is "Ceeling Cat," and which one is "Basement Cat?" LOL, if you are not familiar with I Can Has Cheezburger, "Ceeling Cat" is white, and the Cat god. Basement Cat is black, and...well...you get it.

 

[LadybugsMama]

Breathe deep, and try to relax. You just pushed things a bit too fast. You cannot move any faster than the most reluctant cat is comfortable with. In this case, it seems to be Kitty. This is like a new introduction, but in a place that is strange to BOTH cats. What I would suggest is, when you let one cat out to roam, place the other cat in the roaming cat's base camp. The idea behind this is to get the entire home smelling like BOTH cats, and them used to that.

Beautiful cats, BTW. Um...which one is "Ceeling Cat," and which one is "Basement Cat?" LOL, if you are not familiar with I Can Has Cheezburger, "Ceeling Cat" is white, and the Cat god. Basement Cat is black, and...well...you get it.

Thank you so much for your words! It’s been a very stressful week and hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel… especially when the noises they make are so, so awful. Just heartbreaking.

But thank you for the reminder it will be OK. I think we’ll work on swapping them more this weekend. They do seem totally fine when they’re in each other’s base camps—curious sniffing, but no hissing or growling. It’s only when they see each other, which I suppose supports it’s too soon for any closer contact.

And HAHA — Ladybug is the mostly white cat (ceeling cat!) and Kitty is the tuxedo (basement cat haha) <3

Here’s a pic of them in the old apartment when they could tolerate each other LOL

 

[Furballsmom]

Let us know how things progress

 

[LadybugsMama]

Writing in again feeling a bit tired and defeated… It is raining in LA and Kitty seems more vocal than normal because of it. She managed to hop the baby gate we had up on her base camp with the door open; fortunately I was in Ladybug’s base camp and closed the door quickly.

Kitty continues to hiss and growl when she sees Ladybug through the cat (either on the other side or in her own base camp). We have been giving her treats, pets, and playing with her whenever she can see Ladybug, trying to reward specifically when she’s not growling.

My boyfriend also got in a fender bender today—everyone is OK, but morale is low

 

[Furballsmom]

I don't know but you might try this, either with vanilla or raw coconut (which still has fragrance) ;

From valanhb
You put a dab of vanilla extract under the chins, at the base of their neck (by the spine) and at the base of the tail (again, on the spine not the underside of the tail!) of all of the cats to make them smell the same. Cats recognize each other by scent, so if that kitty smells the same as "me", the he must be a friend. Kitty logic at it's finest.

This trick works when introducing cats into the household as well, or during a reintroduction after a redirected aggression event.

Also, it's possible that calming products and Cat Music might also help.

 

[LadybugsMama]

I don't know but you might try this, either with vanilla or raw coconut (which still has fragrance) ;

From valanhb
You put a dab of vanilla extract under the chins, at the base of their neck (by the spine) and at the base of the tail (again, on the spine not the underside of the tail!) of all of the cats to make them smell the same. Cats recognize each other by scent, so if that kitty smells the same as "me", the he must be a friend. Kitty logic at it's finest.

This trick works when introducing cats into the household as well, or during a reintroduction after a redirected aggression event.

Also, it's possible that calming products and Cat Music might also help.

Thank you! We actually did try this last week. Weirdly Kitty had no objections to the vanilla but Ladybug did haha. Still, it didn’t seem to make a difference.

We do have two Feliway Optimum diffusers in either base camp and cat CBD treats.

 

[Furballsmom]

Drat! Good on you for thinking of it though! Would dabs of raw coconut oil work differently for them?

 

[LadybugsMama]

That’s a good question!! I’ll try anything! The next time I go to Trader Joe’s, I’ll see if they have some <3

Fortunately Ladybug doesn’t seem to mind being in the bedroom all day. I just feel bad that Kitty (1) wants to be here because I am, but (2) doesn’t want to be near Ladybug, and yet (3) also wants total free roam of the house…

 

[DB89014]

I had a rough time introducing my first cat to the others as well and to be honest it took a good couple of months. My first cat acted as if he was possessed and in desperate need of an exorcism, he was lashing out at everyone not even just the new cats, but slowly it finally got better and now they are all completely fine. I had 3 baby gates stacked on top of each other in the doorway so they could safely check each other out without anyone being able to climb over. I had tried the feliway diffuser also which didn't seem to do anything but the actual spray bottle of Feliway did actually seem to help I would spray it all over everything. Playing with them at the same time with some kind of wand toy or something that could go through the gate seemed to break the ice a little too. Don't give up just take it slow!

 

[dividedsky]

At the hardware stores/ lumber yards here they sell wire shelving by the piece in varying lengths. Making a gate out of these and heavy duty cable ties is a good way to take away the worry of stacking baby gates.

I am currently introducing two cats and have a gate made of the shelves. At first I ran a big piece of cardboard across the gate so they couldn't see each other. Once the early on hissing stopped the cardboard went away but the gate stayed up. I think that animals get stressed out by our stress sometimes. Leaving the gate up with no view they are able to come to terms with each others smells and presence without any additional input from us.