QUESTION OF THE DAY, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4, 2021

neely

May the purr be with you
Thread starter
Veteran
Joined
Dec 22, 2005
Messages
13,080
Purraise
27,243
Today's Question of the Day is about the Dreaded Phone Call. :eek: I think everyone, if not most everyone, knows someone they dread getting a phone call from whether it's a friend, relative, co-worker, neighbor, etc.

I have a friend I've known for a very long time who I say has good intentions BUT she thrives on gossip and personal info. First, let me say she is the type of friend I know I could call if I was in a pinch or needed help. Second, she is extremely opinionated. Third, she always wants to know about my family and asks nosey questions but never, ever wants to talk about her family or business. We have a group of friends that have been meeting once a month for a long time. If she can't go she will call me the following day to try and get gossip. I find it annoying and it drives me up a wall. :frustrated: Thanks to Caller ID I can let it go to voicemail and decide when I want to call her back.

So for today's QUESTION OF THE DAY - IS THERE SOMEONE YOU KNOW WHO YOU DREAD GETTING A PHONE CALL FROM?
 

Winchester

In the kitchen with my cookies
Veteran
Joined
Aug 28, 2009
Messages
27,048
Purraise
17,930
Location
In the kitchen
I “used” to have a friend who would call at the most inopportune times. And then get angry when I couldn’t talk. She used to call me at work, right after I got there. It got to the point that, if I knew it was her, I would actually freeze. If I didn’t answer, she would call back every couple of minutes, until I got so frustrated I would have to answer the phone. And she didn’t want anything, basically to complain about other people. Rick finally said that I needed to end it because she was crazy. And I did. I was never so glad not to hear from her anymore.

I’m not much of a phone person anymore since I retired and prefer to either text or email. That way I can get back to people when I can. The problem then is that I honestly forget sometimes.
 

Tobermory

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.”
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Dec 13, 2017
Messages
5,180
Purraise
14,374
Location
Oregon
I’m not much of a phone person anymore since I retired and prefer to either text or email. That way I can get back to people when I can. The problem then is that I honestly forget sometimes.
:yeah:
I get almost no phone calls anymore, but I’d have to say my sister-in-law who calls once in a blue moon. She talks and talks and talks and talks… I answer only because I worry that something might have happened to my brother.
 

Lari

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 18, 2017
Messages
6,298
Purraise
27,488
I dread answering the phone to learn they've been desperately trying to reach me about my car's extended warranty.

I tend not to like talking to my MIL on the phone because they basically have no reception where they live and half the call is usually "I'm sorry, you're breaking us. Can you repeat that?" I love talking to her in person, but phone calls give me a headache.
 

susanm9006

Resident Cat Willow
Top Cat
Joined
Feb 20, 2011
Messages
8,930
Purraise
18,375
Location
Minnesota
Yes, my 25 year old nephew, my brother’s son. He lived with me for a while in his late teens when his home situation was bad, so we have been sort of close. But he only calls now when he is having some issue or emotional meltdown and the last year being stretched thin with caring for my mom and aunt, it’s been hard to find the empathy to deal with him. The last time he called, a few weeks ago, it was close to midnight, he woke me out of a sound sleep and I know I was not patient with him. Haven’t heard back and I know I should call but just can’t quite do it yet.
 

fionasmom

TCS Member
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Jun 21, 2014
Messages
4,937
Purraise
7,246
Location
Los Angeles
I dislike actual phone conversations at any rate and have tried to "train" everyone to text or email. As for dreading, I have a very good friend, 30+ years, who is a great person and would drop everything to bring someone to the hospital or help in any way possible, but the conversations are complete self narration. "I'm going to fold the clothes and then will go to the market for some apples. You know, the last time I was in the store, I noticed that they moved the celery to where the onions used to be......."
 

DreamerRose

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 11, 2015
Messages
7,950
Purraise
8,652
Location
Naperville, IL
I dislike actual phone conversations at any rate and have tried to "train" everyone to text or email. As for dreading, I have a very good friend, 30+ years, who is a great person and would drop everything to bring someone to the hospital or help in any way possible, but the conversations are complete self narration. "I'm going to fold the clothes and then will go to the market for some apples. You know, the last time I was in the store, I noticed that they moved the celery to where the onions used to be......."
I have a neighbor who's like that. She always stops to talk while I'm trying to work in the yard. Talks and talks and talks. Boring, boring, boring.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #11

neely

May the purr be with you
Thread starter
Veteran
Joined
Dec 22, 2005
Messages
13,080
Purraise
27,243
"I'm going to fold the clothes and then will go to the market for some apples. You know, the last time I was in the store, I noticed that they moved the celery to where the onions used to be......."
You just described my S-I-L to a T. She'd do the same exact thing especially if she went out to eat. I'd have to hear all the menu choices followed by what she ordered, whether she would order it again or what she would get next time - on and on and on! 🙄
 

posiepurrs

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 11, 2015
Messages
2,315
Purraise
4,818
Location
Western Massachusetts, USA
Yes! I have a friend from out of state (well acquaintance) that calls me several times a week sometimes. She has mental health issues (bipolar and severe depression) and our conversations are usually the exact same. She has no family and I sometimes wonder of she is taking her meds that way she should. I feel sorry for her, but right now I have about all I can handle at times so I sometimes dodge the call. I sound mean and selfish saying that.
 

Tobermory

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.”
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Dec 13, 2017
Messages
5,180
Purraise
14,374
Location
Oregon
I feel sorry for her, but right now I have about all I can handle at times so I sometimes dodge the call. I sound mean and selfish saying that.
You absolutely do NOT sound mean and selfish. You simply have to avoid her calls sometimes to pay attention to your own well-being. I think that makes you stronger.
 

Whenallhellbreakslose

Living in Kitty Paradise.
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 17, 2020
Messages
1,964
Purraise
7,938
I have family members that can be a real pain in the you know what. My mom drives me crazy with her non -stop nagging. :gaah: I know she means well, but it could drive me crazy at times. I also had a friend who was a bad gossip and never respected boundaries. She would call at all hours, would not stop talking, even though I told her I am not interested in gossip. She only cared about herself really. I grew tired of her nonsense, and parted ways with her. She gave me a hard time about it, but finally accepted it. I felt so relieved not having to answer her "dreaded calls". Like a ton of bricks was finally off my shoulders. :bliss:
 

Mia6

Mother of one
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 22, 2017
Messages
26,908
Purraise
26,591
Location
Ohio, USA
I don't talk on the phone often but I think that's true for a lot of people these days.

If I get a call from someone from the Pain Support Forum I will usually take the call or answer
and tell them I will call them back. So many of them have been blown off by family members
and friends and I will at least try to lend an ear.
 

Maria Bayote

Mama of 5 Cats, 4 Dogs , 2 Budgies & 2 Humans
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
3,143
Purraise
8,531
I have never been fond of voice calls, even chat messages I have not much patience with except when the topic is about my cats or my dogs.

But to answer the question, I dread to get calls from anyone because I get bored easily, except from my kids, my brother and his wife. They very very seldom call anyways. And when they call its about an emergency back home.
 

MoochNNoodles

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
33,797
Purraise
15,355
Location
Where my cats are
Only 4 people call me... my husband (he usually texts though), my mother, my father and my grandfather. They all get a pass. Otherwise...text me! Even my BFF doesn't call...we text! ;)

I have one friend who I used to dread her calls. We've known each other for decades and she's been like family. But she had a really rough period where it was just too much at times to listen to the drama going on in her life. It was real honest to goodness drama thanks to a divorce from an abusive man (who had been a friend to both DH and I). But a person can only take so much. I struggle when someone just wants to vent over and over without taking any action to make changes. I can't hash and rehash and rehash again. She knows this (she probably knows me better than most people outside of maybe 4 other people) so I know she tempered it. And I'm really glad to say that she's moving steadily into a better place in life.

She's also a mother now so most of our conversations are over messenger or text and late at night. THAT helps a lot! My kids are older than hers. When DD was little it was really hard for her when DD would be shrieking in the background or just doing one year old things dividing my attention. Friendships do have to adjust when kids take priority.
You absolutely do NOT sound mean and selfish. You simply have to avoid her calls sometimes to pay attention to your own well-being. I think that makes you stronger.
:yeah: Healthy boundaries are SO important!
 

Silver Crazy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
1,863
Purraise
7,213
Location
Melbourne Australia
I have taken the view that the phone is for my use and my use alone, so if I see a number I dont know i dont answer.I have a private number as well that only people I want to hear from and family know and every other call is blocked.
This all started from the avalanche of scam and nuisance calls that started few years ago.
 
Top