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- Mar 28, 2018
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Hello! Just to preface this, we have 6 cats: a 15 yo male, 15 yo Female, 9 yo male, 5 yo male, 2.5 yo male and 1.5 yo female. We've been incredibly lucky that all of our cats have gotten along from basically the first moment they met.
I rescued the 15yo female when she was around 12 and she is incredibly bonded to me. She gets along or tolerates all of the cats and even bonded to the 1.5yo female and pretty much adopted her as her kitten. Except for my 5yo male. He is a weird, chaotic but overly sweet boy who had a rough start at life and nearly died as a kitten from illness so he's kind of become this coddled full-grown baby. He likes to play but seems to have 0 social skills with other cats and reading their social cues, despite growing up with my two older boys. We adopted the 2.5 yo male to be a companion to him and they are very close and cuddle together but they don't play together. He frequently pushes buttons with the other cats to try and lure them into play, but he mostly tries this with the older female. She is old and grumpy to him, does not want to play with him, and doesn't like play in general. We think she was an old woman's lap cat before she was dumped out onto the streets, she has no concept of "playing" and her only language is cuddles.
Frequently at night he ends up chasing her around the house, as she growls and hisses and stresses and I have to intervene and put her in my lap to calm her down. She hides under tables and swats at him. I've tried to deter him but he is so determined to play with her, despite the frequent scratches on the nose she gives him. I've tried loud noises, clapping, separating them, water as a last resort (but he loves water so he thought it was great). If I lock him out of the room he gets severe separation anxiety and just screams and bangs on the door, and opens the handle. He is never aggressive, he has never hissed or growled, his body language remains playful. It's exhausting every night playing gatekeeper. Even right now they are laying on the same table, but her posture is defensive and she rearranges her body so they won't touch, while he is oblivious because he has 2 brain cells.
Is this just a case of personality clash? It's been 3 years and its gotten worse rather than better and I hate seeing her so stressed out. I've been keeping her in my lap basically 24/7 to help her feel safer. Has anyone had luck with the calming cat pheromone diffusers or any other product? I've tried calming room/ fabric sprays and it doesn't seem to help and we did CBD for both for a while with little effect. I wonder also if she is being territorial or defensive towards me, but she usually allows the other cats to share my lap or be near me. Any advice is appreciated.
I rescued the 15yo female when she was around 12 and she is incredibly bonded to me. She gets along or tolerates all of the cats and even bonded to the 1.5yo female and pretty much adopted her as her kitten. Except for my 5yo male. He is a weird, chaotic but overly sweet boy who had a rough start at life and nearly died as a kitten from illness so he's kind of become this coddled full-grown baby. He likes to play but seems to have 0 social skills with other cats and reading their social cues, despite growing up with my two older boys. We adopted the 2.5 yo male to be a companion to him and they are very close and cuddle together but they don't play together. He frequently pushes buttons with the other cats to try and lure them into play, but he mostly tries this with the older female. She is old and grumpy to him, does not want to play with him, and doesn't like play in general. We think she was an old woman's lap cat before she was dumped out onto the streets, she has no concept of "playing" and her only language is cuddles.
Frequently at night he ends up chasing her around the house, as she growls and hisses and stresses and I have to intervene and put her in my lap to calm her down. She hides under tables and swats at him. I've tried to deter him but he is so determined to play with her, despite the frequent scratches on the nose she gives him. I've tried loud noises, clapping, separating them, water as a last resort (but he loves water so he thought it was great). If I lock him out of the room he gets severe separation anxiety and just screams and bangs on the door, and opens the handle. He is never aggressive, he has never hissed or growled, his body language remains playful. It's exhausting every night playing gatekeeper. Even right now they are laying on the same table, but her posture is defensive and she rearranges her body so they won't touch, while he is oblivious because he has 2 brain cells.
Is this just a case of personality clash? It's been 3 years and its gotten worse rather than better and I hate seeing her so stressed out. I've been keeping her in my lap basically 24/7 to help her feel safer. Has anyone had luck with the calming cat pheromone diffusers or any other product? I've tried calming room/ fabric sprays and it doesn't seem to help and we did CBD for both for a while with little effect. I wonder also if she is being territorial or defensive towards me, but she usually allows the other cats to share my lap or be near me. Any advice is appreciated.