People scaring my cat

[catminionjess]

If you politely told your family not to pick up the new cat and your dad ignored you anyway, then politely telling them again to leave the cat alone won't work. You will have to be firm about it. Really, you and the cat need time to bond before introducing him to more strangers. I suggest putting him in a bedroom or bathroom while you have visitors until he's adjusted to his new home. I still usually do that with my cats. My girl is 10 and will come out when there are visitors. But she will swat and scratch them if they cross her path wrong or try to pet her. She's been like that since she was a kitten. My 9 year old boy is very shy and hides from other people so it's less stressful for him if I just put him up. He's also been that way since he was a kitten. My 8 (?) year old boy basically doesn't trust any human except for me so he goes in a spare bedroom. He's been that way for the 4 years he's lived with me. 

 

[Caspers Human]

...they just roll their eyes and think I'm being too protective of him.

You're not being overprotective.  You've had the cat for two days.  It's standard procedure to let a new cat hide out in a safe place when it is introduced to a new home for at least a week.  Some cats might take more time.  Other cats might take less.

If other people don't understand that, it is THEY who are wrong.  Not you.

...another part of me remembers how incapable I would have been of saying that to my parents until I was well away from them...and living across the street, you aren't.

(Humor)  Oh!  You mean like the old TV show, "Everybody Loves Raymond" where the mother just walked in or out of the house at virtually any time of the day? 

Yeah, that does make it tough.

 If you politely told your family not to pick up the new cat and your dad ignored you anyway, then politely telling them again to leave the cat alone won't work. You will have to be firm about it. Really, you and the cat need time to bond before introducing him to more strangers.

This and the family dynamics issue, above, are part of the reason why I thought about when you upset a cat you are likely to get clawed.  Sometimes it's hard to tell people (especially family members) not to do something just on your say-so.  If you can say, "Don't pick up the cat or he'll claw you," there's a reason for you to say that.  (Don't mess with the bull or you'll get the horn!)  If something does happen, you now have the right to say, 'I told you so."

I do understand...  Your family is excited to see your new cat.  Who wouldn't want that?  It's normal.

But they don't understand that cats aren't like dogs and you can't treat them as such.  You can't just reach out and pick them up and expect them to lick your face like a puppy.

I guess that's what I have been trying to say even if it is said in my own, personal, "shoot from the hip" style of speaking.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

  
(Humor)  Oh!  You mean like the old TV show, "Everybody Loves Raymond" where the mother just walked in or out of the house at virtually any time of the day? 

Yeah, that does make it tough.

SNORTLE...it can make it downright impossible!  Yes, exactly like Raymond's mom!  I had one of those mothers, and standing up to them can be incredibly hard!  Mine, by the way, read me the riot act when she couldn't reach me by phone for 9 hours.  I was 49 years old, and lived 450 miles away!  I was at the mall for shopping, dinner, and a movie with a friend.  THEN she wanted to know WHICH friend...Parents can be very difficult for daughters.

 

[catminionjess]

 If you politely told your family not to pick up the new cat and your dad ignored you anyway, then politely telling them again to leave the cat alone won't work. You will have to be firm about it. Really, you and the cat need time to bond before introducing him to more strangers.

This and the family dynamics issue, above, are part of the reason why I thought about when you upset a cat you are likely to get clawed.  Sometimes it's hard to tell people (especially family members) not to do something just on your say-so.  If you can say, "Don't pick up the cat or he'll claw you," there's a reason for you to say that.  (Don't mess with the bull or you'll get the horn!)  If something does happen, you now have the right to say, 'I told you so."

Yes it is a family dynamics issue. My family has plenty of dysfunctional dynamics of its own, but they don't bother my cats when I tell them not to. And pattykat did say, "I specifically said not to pick him up because of how scared he was and if they wanted to see him just to pet him and give him a treat". To me, a reason for leaving the cat alone was given; he's scared.