One year old Lulu meets 10 week old Finn

[Lulu&Finn]

Hi everyone. Lulu is a tortie and calico cat. She def has a lot of sass. We adopted her last Nov and Finn two weeks ago. We’ve done the slow introduction and I’d say it’s gone ok. I think I’m a nervous wreck that she’s going to hurt him. I can’t tell if they are playing or if she’s hurting him. I’d be forever grateful if you could watch my videos and tell me if it looks like play or aggression. There are no cat fight noises but there are some noises I don’t like. Lulu is about ten lbs and Finn is 3. I always end up taking Finn and putting him back in his room. Lulu treats him like prey. Chases him and pounces.

Today they did eat near each other and Lulu did leave him alone but then it started.

 

[ArtNJ]

Thanks for the videos, that make things much easier.

Cats are predators, they play by simulating hunting and fighting behaviors, so its natural for a first timer to worry. This, however, looks totally normal. In the second video, the kitten is definitely playing back for a bit. Young adult size cats are quite often not great at scaling down their play to be totally fun and inclusive for kittens, but will not hurt them. When they overdo it, its more in the nature of a head noogie or Indian sunburn. The kitten may squeal, and will seek to disengage and run away. As long as there are no wounds (and there never are) and the kitten comes back later and acts like nothing happened, your all good. If the kitten was truly being hurt, it would be hiding full time and acting afraid of the big cat even when the big cat was chill. You can trust the kitten to be your guide in this.

Now as I mentioned, this is not ideal play, and it is uncomfortable for the kitten at times. However, most of us believe you cannot teach the big cat to play more nicely, and the kitten does get a net benefit to having a big sis interested in playing. You can certainly keep trying to distract if little cat seems particularly distressed, but this is going to happen when you are sleeping or not home, and waiting a few weeks won't change that. Let them be is the best bet. This will get it out of the big cat's system to some degree, and although it will keep happening, at least they will also interact when big cat is more chill which will help build the relationship further.

Bottom line, this is going normally, and these cats are headed for friendship or already there. Its fine to distract if the little one seems miserable, but in general, you can relax and let them be. Little cat is already getting a net benefit from big sis, and over time this will become even more true.

 

[Lulu&Finn]

Thanks for the videos, that make things much easier.

Cats are predators, they play by simulating hunting and fighting behaviors, so its natural for a first timer to worry. This, however, looks totally normal. In the second video, the kitten is definitely playing back for a bit. Young adult size cats are quite often not great at scaling down their play to be totally fun and inclusive for kittens, but will not hurt them. When they overdo it, its more in the nature of a head noogie or Indian sunburn. The kitten may squeal, and will seek to disengage and run away. As long as there are no wounds (and there never are) and the kitten comes back later and acts like nothing happened, your all good. If the kitten was truly being hurt, it would be hiding full time and acting afraid of the big cat even when the big cat was chill. You can trust the kitten to be your guide in this.

Now as I mentioned, this is not ideal play, and it is uncomfortable for the kitten at times. However, most of us believe you cannot teach the big cat to play more nicely, and the kitten does get a net benefit to having a big sis interested in playing. You can certainly keep trying to distract if little cat seems particularly distressed, but this is going to happen when you are sleeping or not home, and waiting a few weeks won't change that. Let them be is the best bet. This will get it out of the big cat's system to some degree, and although it will keep happening, at least they will also interact when big cat is more chill which will help build the relationship further.

Bottom line, this is going normally, and these cats are headed for friendship or already there. Its fine to distract if the little one seems miserable, but in general, you can relax and let them be. Little cat is already getting a net benefit from big sis, and over time this will become even more true.

 

[Lulu&Finn]

Thank you! They were both found as strays at a young age and I think Lulu especially doesn’t know how to play without being a bit rude. Lol. Finn definitely gets scared but for the most part he ”fights” back And will jump out at her.

 

[ArtNJ]

Thank you! They were both found as strays at a young age and I think Lulu especially doesn’t know how to play without being a bit rude. Lol. Finn definitely gets scared but for the most part he ”fights” back And will jump out at her.

Glad to hear that he is fighting back and even initiating. That definitely means that everything is going well.

As for being a bit too rough, Lulu's lack of cat-schooling by a momma cat could have something to do with it, as could the fact that a young adult cat would not be allowed to play with a 12 week old (guessing by the weight you listed) in the wild because momma cat would prevent that. So in a sense, its not something that is supposed to be happening. That said, this goes on millions of times a year, with no injuries or bad consequences. Some sort of biological hard wiring prevents intent to harm kittens, and thus they only go overboard to a small degree. It would be nice if she could be gentler, but overall its a good thing they are headed for friendship.

 

[Lulu&Finn]

This is today. It went really well for a longer period of time. They are eating all meals next to each other and Lulu has more time that she seems uninterested. It always goes to the roughness and Finn crying out, but I feel more hopeful.