I live in a 4 cat household. We have lived here for almost 4 years at this point. My 3.5yr old cat bullies one of my girlfriends 9yr old cats. Both have been to the vet and have a clear bill of health, but no matter what we do, my cat still bullies hers. Her cat has been around mine for its entire life, I got him as a kitten. They’ve never essentially been friends, but lately he stalks and hunts her through the house any chance he gets. It’s caused my girlfriend’s cat to hide majority of the time. Really looking for any and all suggestions. We’ve tried feliway and it doesn’t help. I don’t need them to be best friends, I just want him to stop being a bully. He gets along with my other cat (his brother) and my girlfriend’s other cat phenomenally, so I really don’t get the issue he has with the other cat. None of the other cats in the house have problems with eachother either.
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One cat stalking and attacking the other, please help
- Thread starter vsvpflex
- Start Date
Sometimes the older cat gets 'abused' by a younger one just because they know that cat is vulnerable. Often, it is because there are underlying health issues, but you said that has been ruled out through good vet checkups, which I presume included bloodwork for the 9yr old. It also sounds like she probably has never really defended herself - if she had taken a few swipes at him, he may have changed his mind.
Now, you don't have much choice but to give her a place she can retreat to that he doesn't have easy access to, so she can get a break from him. I would also get her used to spending time there if there are periods of time that no one is home to monitor him. It won't be easy because this has gone on so long, but what you need to do is be her 'protector' since she won't protect herself. That means each and every time when he goes to attack her, you pick him up and either hiss or say a firm 'No' in his face (pick one and stick with it), and then put him in a 1–2-minute time out (no more, no less) behind a closed door. This has to be done consistently and for as long as it takes to get through to him that he needs to leave her alone. It is a battle of the wills, yours needing to be stronger than his.
Now, you don't have much choice but to give her a place she can retreat to that he doesn't have easy access to, so she can get a break from him. I would also get her used to spending time there if there are periods of time that no one is home to monitor him. It won't be easy because this has gone on so long, but what you need to do is be her 'protector' since she won't protect herself. That means each and every time when he goes to attack her, you pick him up and either hiss or say a firm 'No' in his face (pick one and stick with it), and then put him in a 1–2-minute time out (no more, no less) behind a closed door. This has to be done consistently and for as long as it takes to get through to him that he needs to leave her alone. It is a battle of the wills, yours needing to be stronger than his.
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- #3
Do you have any thoughts on behavioral medication such as fluoxetine?
No, I really don't, But, tbh, I am not an advocate of using drugs to alter a cat's behavior until there are no other options left. It isn't like this cat bullies all the others - he is focused on one cat in particular that he has deemed to be an 'easy target'. That kind of behavior usually requires 're-training' to make the bully realize he just can't bully another cat because they are not 'fighting' back. Just my opinion.
How often are you playing with each cat (behind a closed door from other cats)?
What other enrichments do you have for them? Do you switch it up?
A bored cat can also cause these types of issues.
The issue with behavioural medicines for cats is that most medicines are hard on a cat's liver and kidney long term, leaving them at high risk to develop other issues. Behavioural medicine will need to be a serious discussion with your vet based on your cat's medical history.
You could try re-introducing them as well. How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction - TheCatSite
What other enrichments do you have for them? Do you switch it up?
A bored cat can also cause these types of issues.
The issue with behavioural medicines for cats is that most medicines are hard on a cat's liver and kidney long term, leaving them at high risk to develop other issues. Behavioural medicine will need to be a serious discussion with your vet based on your cat's medical history.
You could try re-introducing them as well. How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction - TheCatSite
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- #7
The cats get lots of play time, and we have tons of enrichment. Multiple cat trees, tunnels, beds, forts, a whole basket of toys, 4 food dishes, 4 water bowls, 5 litter boxes. Just today i ordered a pack of the Purina Pro Plan Calming Care probiotic to add to the bully’s food. Really hoping it makes a difference
A big misconception is that cats will play with toys laying about. Unfortunately, that's not usually the case. Even more so if just in a basket. Unlike dogs, they don't usually get a lot of enrichment from picking a toy from a basket, even if they do so.
It's great that you're playing with them! That helps certainly. Some interactive toys can be helpful, also rotating the toys and placing them in "odd" spots to re-encourage play.
Changing up where the tunnels and tents are can help and rotating them too! You can even add some boxes and craft paper to the rotations. There's loads of DIYs on YouTube as well.
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It's great that you're playing with them! That helps certainly. Some interactive toys can be helpful, also rotating the toys and placing them in "odd" spots to re-encourage play.
Changing up where the tunnels and tents are can help and rotating them too! You can even add some boxes and craft paper to the rotations. There's loads of DIYs on YouTube as well.
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- #9
We are a 4 cat household, and have been for over 3 years. We have 5 litter boxes, multiple food and water dishes, cat towers, tunnels, toys, scratching posts, you name it. In fact we have so many cat oriented things that we regularly joke that this is the cats house and we just live in it. One of my cats (3.5yr old neutered male) has been a bit of an issue. Him and our 9yr old female cat have never been the best of friends, but that’s okay. My male cat was a kitten around the female cat and from an early age, he wanted to play with this female cat and she wasn’t having it, so she’d swat and his at him. That kind of set their dynamic I feel. They’ve always just avoided eachother for the most part, and occasionally swat and hiss at eachother, but nothing over the top. As of recently, my male cat is stalking/hunting the female cat. He seeks her out and chases her, if she enters a room he’s in, he drops low to the ground and stalks her, occasionally will even do the “ekekekekek” noise when he sees her (the chattering cats do when watching birds.) never through any of this has he hissed or growled at her, but this greatly upset her and is becoming a problem quickly. Recently we started time outs, when he goes after her, we pick him up, firmly say “no” and put him in the bathroom for 4 minutes. Ontop of this, I recently ordered the purina pro plan calming care probiotic to use in conjunction with our behavior modifying and hopefully assist the issue. My anxiety has been through the roof about the whole situation, and I’m more or less looking for suggestions, solutions, etc. The 9yr old female cat does exhibit “prey” behavior. She never fights back, she’s slow moving, hides a lot, etc. My male bully gets along swimmingly with the 3 other cats in house, and the female cat tolerates the 3 other cats in the house. But for some reason, it is on sight with these two. I would greatly appreciate any tips, tricks, suggestions. I’m losing my mind
Hi. It is much harder to change a cat's behavior when they realize another cat won't put them in their place, if they are so inclined to like to 'bully' a bit. But, keep up what you are doing - it could take a long while to get through to your 3.5 yo that he needs to leave your 9yo alone.
The other thing that always needs to be ruled out is any heath issues with your 9yo. Sometimes a health condition can change the scent of a cat and there are other cats that can pick up on it and react accordingly. Not all cats do this, but it sounds like a possibility with your 3.5yo.
The other thing that always needs to be ruled out is any heath issues with your 9yo. Sometimes a health condition can change the scent of a cat and there are other cats that can pick up on it and react accordingly. Not all cats do this, but it sounds like a possibility with your 3.5yo.
I agree with
FeebysOwner
that you might want to get the 9 year old cat checked by the vet to ensure there's nothing health related going on with her, since the aggression between her and your 3.5 year old male has recently escalated.
The other possibility is that something startled the 3.5 year old and he blamed the 9 year old. That would be Re-Directed Aggression In Cats [Insight And Solutions] - TheCatSite. Not likely, but possible. And the steps to take to resolve it, would be the same as any other re-introduction between cats.
TCS has a couple other articles that might be helpful.
This one on Why Do Cats Attack? A Closer Look at Cat Aggression And Its Causes - TheCatSite
And this one on Stress in Cats - The Ultimate Guide - TheCatSite
Speaking of stress, you mention your own anxiety has been through the roof over this situation, and as cats can pick up on their human's stress, it's possible that is the case with your 3.5 year old.
In addition to the calming food, there is Feliway. It's not cheap, and some people find it does nothing, but it is something you might want to look into. There's a couple different kinds, so do read up on them first, if you decide to try it.
FELIWAY for cats
FeebysOwner
that you might want to get the 9 year old cat checked by the vet to ensure there's nothing health related going on with her, since the aggression between her and your 3.5 year old male has recently escalated.The other possibility is that something startled the 3.5 year old and he blamed the 9 year old. That would be Re-Directed Aggression In Cats [Insight And Solutions] - TheCatSite. Not likely, but possible. And the steps to take to resolve it, would be the same as any other re-introduction between cats.
TCS has a couple other articles that might be helpful.
This one on Why Do Cats Attack? A Closer Look at Cat Aggression And Its Causes - TheCatSite
And this one on Stress in Cats - The Ultimate Guide - TheCatSite
Speaking of stress, you mention your own anxiety has been through the roof over this situation, and as cats can pick up on their human's stress, it's possible that is the case with your 3.5 year old.
In addition to the calming food, there is Feliway. It's not cheap, and some people find it does nothing, but it is something you might want to look into. There's a couple different kinds, so do read up on them first, if you decide to try it.
FELIWAY for cats
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #12
As of today, I’m starting my 3.5yr old on 1/2 tab of paroxetine (Paxil) a day. The goal being to level him out, calm him down, and then sustain that peace for a while to make it a habit before weening him off the medication
Excellent goal. Please keep us posted.
Good luck, hope the meds help! I'd keep going on the approach
FeebysOwner
and others outlined, which can only increase your chances of success.
FeebysOwner
and others outlined, which can only increase your chances of success.
I hope it works too. The only thing that bothers me about taking this approach, is that this cat bullies only one out of all the cats. As you said, he gets along well with the others. If he were treating them all that way, it might be a good reason to think his behavior is anxiety related. But if it is anxiety related, why does he only experience it with just one cat? That, to me, is more central to the issue. Maybe your approach will break this habit, I dunno.
Good luck.I'm late to the thread, but we haven't really dissected what is meant by "bullying". As near as I can tell when folks use the term, it can be various things, from territorial stuff to anxiety-related aggression to rough play. So I don't really like the term, its too imprecise. As far as rough play, I think its fairly mysterious how a cat can single out one cat in a multi-cat household for playful stalking. I think, however it starts, sometimes it sort of just becomes a habit. Stalking X cat (or Y human sometimes) is how I get my fun. So yeah, I agree with
FeebysOwner
that its not necessarily clear that an SSRI is perfectly targeted. But if the drug produces a typical response, it might help and can't hurt, and your covered as long as the behavioral interventions are continued.
FeebysOwner
that its not necessarily clear that an SSRI is perfectly targeted. But if the drug produces a typical response, it might help and can't hurt, and your covered as long as the behavioral interventions are continued.
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You have been given excellent suggestions. I do have a few alternatives to consider. Victim support can be a valuable approach. To promote confidence in your girlfriend's cat, you can try promoting her senior status as Queen of the Clowder. I give my senior a tall footstool as a perch whereupon to learn and perform tricks. Depending on her favorite "currency", I use rewards and lots of praise. Initially, I do lessons in private and then later the performing is done before the entire family, with folks cheering and other pets looking. Also, I create extra perches and encourage the victim to get overhead and thus channel her "inner mountain lion".
At the same time, I use a retired fishing pole or lunge whip (used for exercising horses) to give optimum exercise for the bully. I attach a teaser toy to the pole . The goal is to greatly expand the diameter of the play circle so that the cat is doing across-the-room mad dashes and high aerial leaps. The cat should be getting a vigorous workout that burns excess energy with quick switches of the toy's flight path that adds wonderfully stimulating mental exercise. For a young cat, the dash should be at least a 12-15 foot dash and leaps of at least 2-3 feet in the air (always be aware of safety when doing jumps). One interesting circumstance is that my cats will gather in a circle around the room and take turns playing with the toy.
Medications might make the bully drowsy/disoriented/uncoordinated so my recommendation would be to try active play while "sober" first.
Please let us know what you try and what your results are
I second this. We went this approach with our senior girl and new young male. Once her confidence is boosted, she started fighting back. Heck, she will randomly initiate an attack and scare the crap out of our new male. That kind of got their relationship sorted. Not sure in your case, if bullying means a full on trying to draw blood/maim the other kind of attacks, if not, I think this + active play might be worth a try.
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- #19
Update: as for the questions, bullying meant attacking the other cat unprovoked. No serious injuries, but he has left her with multiple scabs, and caused fur to fly. From afar when it happens, she vocalizes exactly how you’d hear a cat vocalize in a cat fight, except she doesn’t fight back and he is the only one attacking. So it was clearly not just playful.
we are on day 4 of meds, and it’s been 4 days of 0 aggression and the 2 cats coexisting successfully. Only down side is my boy has been increasingly less affectionate and more off by himself. He would normally be on my lap a good portion of the day, rubbing his face on mine, and wanting to be around me. Lately, that hasn’t been the case. I’ve read that it can take a bit for them to adjust to the med and let their personality shine back through and I’m hoping this is the case. Miss my cuddly boy
we are on day 4 of meds, and it’s been 4 days of 0 aggression and the 2 cats coexisting successfully. Only down side is my boy has been increasingly less affectionate and more off by himself. He would normally be on my lap a good portion of the day, rubbing his face on mine, and wanting to be around me. Lately, that hasn’t been the case. I’ve read that it can take a bit for them to adjust to the med and let their personality shine back through and I’m hoping this is the case. Miss my cuddly boy
Hopefully, he will adapt to the med overtime, but the point in many of these meds is to subdue a cat, and no one knows for sure how that subdued behavior will present itself. Right now, he likely feels a bit out of sorts.
If he doesn't 'bounce back' after a while, you might ask the vet if the dosage can be lowered. What med did they give him and how much?
It is good that he is not bothering her, so maybe this will break the habit with him wanting to attack her.
If he doesn't 'bounce back' after a while, you might ask the vet if the dosage can be lowered. What med did they give him and how much?
It is good that he is not bothering her, so maybe this will break the habit with him wanting to attack her.
