Obsessed with me and behaves worse when it's just us

[Andimms]

I'm having trouble with my first cat. I have a partner but he works away from home so all but about 8 days a month, it's just me and my kitty. I was the one that adopted the cat from the rescue so he seems to have bonded completely with me. The problem is that when it's just us two, he behaves WAY worse in a bid to get my constant attention. He is crazy almost all the time despite frequent play time, but the main problem comes at night when he seems to make worse mischief after being sent to the other room so I can sleep. When he gets tired of mischief, the yowling and scratching at the door begins. I've tried long play times before bed to tire him out, I've tried feeding him a bigger meal at night, I've tried calming drops... He is just obsessively attached to me. Throughout the day he is either on top of me or making mischief so he can get on top of me. Now the thing that drives me well and truly crazy is that when my partner comes home or someone else is in the house, he becomes a sweet angel and does almost none of what I just described. I feel like my partner thinks I'm exaggerating the degree to which this has become a problem. Why would a six month old kitten act this way with only one person but not when others are around? What am I doing wrong when we're alone? Is he going to grow out of some of this extremely clingy behavior someday? Please help

 

[Krienze]

Have you tried relaxing cat music at all? It might help!

Is it possible this might be a separation anxiety thing? He see's your spouse leave and is afraid you might so he sticks with you? =(

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. I can't know for sure, of course, but I think a lot of his behaviour is due to him only being 6 months old. He's still a kitten, and full of energy. Some cats are more clingy, so he may always consider you his "mom", but once he's a bit older, he'll likely get more used to your routines, and also sleep more, especially at night.

Is getting a 2nd cat an option? That would give him a friend, and he wouldn't need to cling to you so much. So maybe something to consider.

Oh, one other question, is he neutered?

 

[Andimms]

Hello and welcome to TCS. I can't know for sure, of course, but I think a lot of his behaviour is due to him only being 6 months old. He's still a kitten, and full of energy. Some cats are more clingy, so he may always consider you his "mom", but once he's a bit older, he'll likely get more used to your routines, and also sleep more, especially at night.

Is getting a 2nd cat an option? That would give him a friend, and he wouldn't need to cling to you so much. So maybe something to consider.

Oh, one other question, is he neutered?

He is neutered and has been for some time. Getting a second cat is unfortunately not an option based off our rental agreement. I'm hoping this is just a kitten thing and not a forever thing, but I suspect he will always be ultra vocal. I can deal with that, but I can't deal with the night screaming lol. I just worry that I personally have been doing something wrong to encourage the behavior, since it seems so isolated to our time together. I hope that's not it.

 

[Andimms]

Have you tried relaxing cat music at all? It might help!

Is it possible this might be a separation anxiety thing? He see's your spouse leave and is afraid you might so he sticks with you? =(

I didn't really think about that, it's possible that he's having separation anxiety from my partner so that's why he acts better when he's around. However he also acts better when my mother is around, and he has no specific attachment to her.

 

[rubysmama]

Here's a few TCS articles that might be helpful:

How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night (step-by-step Plan) – Cat Articles
Separation Anxiety In Cats – Cat Articles

 

[Andimms]

Here's a few TCS articles that might be helpful:

How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night (step-by-step Plan) – Cat Articles
Separation Anxiety In Cats – Cat Articles

Thank you for these articles. The night one in particular is helpful. I try ignoring him completely during the night yowls but I know sometimes I haven't, and I'm sure it sent the wrong message.

 

[Neko-chan's mama]

Is letting him in your room an option? Without a feline friend maybe he's lonely at night. My cat screamed at the door the one time we accidentally locked her out, but quieted down the moment the door was open.

 

[di and bob]

I think the situation will change once he gets older. As mentioned above, he is still a kitten and too full of energy. I would try to train him that night time is for sleeping and let him sleep with you, what cats really enjoy. if you have a routine, it would be easier, try to go to bed and get up at the same time. My cats head to the bedroom every night to get the best spot. He may be excited the first few days, but eventually, the NO's you tell him when he is rowdy will sink in, as would ignoring him when he tries to play.
Cats are often 'clingy' and needy when young. This usually changes as they get older and more independent. My husband always tells my cats he is going to get a kitten for cuddles when they ignore him.