I can't really talk with friends and family about this, and figure you guys would be a fount of wisdom on such subjects.
So, background information. My job is...evil to say the least. I have been working there for 2 years in February, but I am not "hired." Because of this, although I am gaining retirement, I do not get benefits at all. I would much rather the benefits. (warning, girlie things ahead!) Since I was about 16 or so, my periods have always been insane. There is anywhere from 30-50 days between the end of one and the beginning of the next. They are agonizing, and incredibly heavy. My mother had a complete hysterectomy, she now has no uterus or either ovary, because of cysts and endometriosis. It is a bit scary to me- since I can't go to a doctor, and I do have some of the symptoms. Plus, I would love to have kids some day, and with my luck my body won't behave when we go to try.
So anyway, I have been with my wonderful fiance for nearly 5 years (in July). We have been engaged since our third anniversary. We planned on getting married in July 2012. Well, now we are thinking that we just need to do the marriage license/court house marriage, forget the wedding. Pat has benefits at his job, and we really need to make it so I could take advantage of them.
On one hand, it is wonderful that he is willing to go against our "schedule" (he will be graduating from college right before the proposed wedding date) to take care of me. On the other hand, I wouldn't get my "dream" wedding. Here is where we are torn.
Do we keep it "secret" from our families, and have a wedding when we planned anyway? Or do we let them know, and have a "rewedding" on that day... or do we do it now, and just let them know... and skip the wedding entirely? Mind you, we are in Florida, and all but his mother and sister live in New York, Michigan and Vermont. The plan was to get married in New York. I worry they would be offended if we did it secretly. So, those who are married, those with married family, anyone with an opinion... Should we just tell them the new plan?
So, background information. My job is...evil to say the least. I have been working there for 2 years in February, but I am not "hired." Because of this, although I am gaining retirement, I do not get benefits at all. I would much rather the benefits. (warning, girlie things ahead!) Since I was about 16 or so, my periods have always been insane. There is anywhere from 30-50 days between the end of one and the beginning of the next. They are agonizing, and incredibly heavy. My mother had a complete hysterectomy, she now has no uterus or either ovary, because of cysts and endometriosis. It is a bit scary to me- since I can't go to a doctor, and I do have some of the symptoms. Plus, I would love to have kids some day, and with my luck my body won't behave when we go to try.
So anyway, I have been with my wonderful fiance for nearly 5 years (in July). We have been engaged since our third anniversary. We planned on getting married in July 2012. Well, now we are thinking that we just need to do the marriage license/court house marriage, forget the wedding. Pat has benefits at his job, and we really need to make it so I could take advantage of them.
On one hand, it is wonderful that he is willing to go against our "schedule" (he will be graduating from college right before the proposed wedding date) to take care of me. On the other hand, I wouldn't get my "dream" wedding. Here is where we are torn.
Do we keep it "secret" from our families, and have a wedding when we planned anyway? Or do we let them know, and have a "rewedding" on that day... or do we do it now, and just let them know... and skip the wedding entirely? Mind you, we are in Florida, and all but his mother and sister live in New York, Michigan and Vermont. The plan was to get married in New York. I worry they would be offended if we did it secretly. So, those who are married, those with married family, anyone with an opinion... Should we just tell them the new plan?