New kitten - resident cat not happy

[pepsiandmax]

Pepsi is my 7,5 year old boy. We lost his brother august 2021. And I have been back and forth about getting a sibling for him. On one side he was loving being an only child when I was there. But on the other side he has been scratching on my door, meowing every since we lost his brother. And its that last thing there that made me take the step to try.

This local shelter have a trial period, 14 days where you can get to test out if a new cat can fit in your home.

I got Amara on friday, and now its sunday. She is 5 months old. I know its only been a few days, and this takes time. All hissing and growling is over. Amara is happy. She is excatly what I have ever wanted in a cat, she will litterally crawl onto my chest to get cuddles. And she is just so adorable.

However my heart is aching, I was crying in the shower last night, also today my emotions are all over the place, it breaks my heart seeing Pepsi doing that low to the ground slow walk. Pepsi is not happy. He does not do anything bad to her. But he is on guard, he can’t relax properly, does not have his normal apetite, and is constantly watching for where she is, and will run away from her, afraid to even walk past her. He is giving clear signs that he is not happy. I took him alone into my bedroom today to see if I could get some cuddles, and he did purr for the first time since Amara came here. He is not himself, and its breaking my heart

I kind of even want to just give up today. I will push through til friday. I will give it a week, and if he is still the same, thats it. Thats all I have. Thats all my heart can take.

I know that it can take time, a whole long time to get cats accostumed to another. But I can’t manage to forcer this on him, he was always suppose to have the final say in this. And right now its clear where he stands. Maybe it will change in a weeks time, but my gut is telling me otherwice.

I had to try. I knew I would not have stopped looking for possible good matches for him until I had tried. So I will always be glad that I tried. But right now I wish I could fast forward to friday. Its awful to see my baby like this

 

[rubysmama]

Sorry you're feeling down about how the introductions are going, but please remember it's only been 3 days! That is no time at all in a cat's world,.

However, from reading your post, it's not clear if you're keeping them in totally separate rooms. The kitten should be in a room by herself, and Pepsi should have normal access to the rest of the home. That way his routine stays as close to normal as possible.

Then you slowly acclimate him to the idea that there's a new feline in the house. Of course, he will know that anyway, as he'll hear her and smell her scent. But you really don't want face to face meetings yet.

If you're moved things along too fast, it's ok to take a step backwards.
In fact, TCS has this article on How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

The most important thing is to keep Pepsi from getting stressed. Tell him he's not being replaced, and that you still love him. Try to spend as much time with him as you always do.

Once Amara is in her own space, you can still put Pepsi in another room from time to time, so Amara can have free run of the place.

Again, it's only been 3 days. Most adult cats will not welcome a new cat into their home with open paws. But in time, most will become friends, or at least reluctant room mates.

Here's the main TCS article on cat introductions:
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

Good luck. Keep us posted on how things go.

 

[ArtNJ]

With a middle aged cat, it might be easy or hard, but you really won't normally have a good sense of that at 3 days. They shouldn't be meeting face to face yet. Rather, the guide linked for you above details a process where you start with seeing how they react to each others scent. In the rare situation where the resident cat is displaying *very* high stress levels merely from the scent -- by which I mean something like not eating, vomitting, giving themselves a hot spot -- then 14 days is not likely going to be enough to see if you can make it work. Normally, 14 days should suffice to finish up if you get lucky, or at least get a good sense of how it will go.

Cat intros can be very stressful on the humans! So its fine to make a realistic decision on whether you can handle it or not. I think you can, you haven't told us anything yet that suggests its going poorly, but everyone's different. If you can't proceed here, thats fine, but just don't think another cat would be different -- I think if you make that decision here, it means you need to just keep loving on your cat as a solo kitty, which isn't so bad!

 

[pepsiandmax]

Sorry you're feeling down about how the introductions are going, but please remember it's only been 3 days! That is no time at all in a cat's world,.

However, from reading your post, it's not clear if you're keeping them in totally separate rooms. The kitten should be in a room by herself, and Pepsi should have normal access to the rest of the home. That way his routine stays as close to normal as possible.

Then you slowly acclimate him to the idea that there's a new feline in the house. Of course, he will know that anyway, as he'll hear her and smell her scent. But you really don't want face to face meetings yet.

If you're moved things along too fast, it's ok to take a step backwards.
In fact, TCS has this article on How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

The most important thing is to keep Pepsi from getting stressed. Tell him he's not being replaced, and that you still love him. Try to spend as much time with him as you always do.

Once Amara is in her own space, you can still put Pepsi in another room from time to time, so Amara can have free run of the place.

Again, it's only been 3 days. Most adult cats will not welcome a new cat into their home with open paws. But in time, most will become friends, or at least reluctant room mates.

Here's the main TCS article on cat introductions:
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

Good luck. Keep us posted on how things go.

I did not say anything about the homing situation, because I know how much the seperation method gets mentioned. I live in a small apartment, and I have no two rooms where I can keep them seperated, saftly. The barhroom have tok many potential death traps to be able to kitten proof it.

I found a guide for how to do introduction in a one bedroom apartment. Its much of the same, but the seperation happens with areas, and not actual seperate rooms.

I know this can also be a factor in how Pepsi is doing. I will make it through the week, but right now it feels like its going to be a long week.

 

[ArtNJ]

Ah, thats not so bad! Keep in mind that with separation via areas, I assume they can see each other. So your kind of skipping a step -- which isn't bad, your doing the most important step of all, visual access -- but because your at visual access so quickly, a lot of growling and hissing is absolutely to be expected. Growling and hissing at a gate is absolutely what is supposed to happen, sort of lets them get it out of their system! They eventually see that nothing bad is happening and get over it. So just dont let it get to you, your on the path!

The only real difficulty with separation in a small space is that early on, escapes can be bad. If escapes lead to fights, that is very destructive of progress, and it can be hard to prevent escapes when your trying to live your life in a modest space.

(Some people do true separations in a one bedroom, either bedroom/living area or use a bathroom. But bathrooms are just *very* hard, I've tried that and wouldn't do it again, and you may not have the setup to do bedroom/living area or need to go back and forth too much, so understand that just having some sort of gate up may be your best bet.)

 

[rubysmama]

Oh, ok, definitely a bit more complicated when doing the introductions in a small apartment with no separate room to keep the newbie in. Just make sure they can't escape their own space when you're not able to supervise, as you really don't want to risk an actual fur flying flight between them.

You could also look into trying Feliway, though some people find it does nothing, so do read up on it first.

And try not to let yourself stress too much, because cats can pick up on our stress. So if Pepsi thinks you're stressed about the new kitten, he might stress more too.

And also remember, it's still really early days in the introductions. Give it time, and you might be surprised how it goes.

Meanwhile, maybe read some of the cat and kitten introduction threads, to see that your situation isn't that unusual.
Search Results for Query: adult cat new kitten

 

[danteshuman]

If this doesn’t work out I would suggest trying a 3 month old kitten. Cats are surprisingly lenient to kittens! Kittens are also annoying hyper twerps.always bugging older cats to play. Plus you can lock a kitten up in the bathroom while you sleep or if needed for 2 weeks, while your resident cat adjusts. If you go this route, adopt a male kitten.

The least you can do for now, is lock the new cat up in the bathroom while you sleep. That way your resident cat gets 8-12 hours a day of peace. Make sure you give new kitty playtime and affection when they first come out. The more upward space you build in, the better. I would suggest the tall cat scratcher with a pole that presses up against your ceiling and/or cat shelves. Try to build a cat super highway around your living room. Multiple food stations and 3 open/lidless litter boxes around your apartment will help prevent any guarding of resources from either cat.

Calming treats with cbd oil may help your stressed out cat; if he will eat them.