New kitten anxiety - has anyone else felt like this?

[wrb555]

Hi everyone,

I hope this is the right place to post this, I feel so ridiculous and ashamed about this that I can't bear to talk to anyone I know in real life so I hope this will help.

I adopted a beautiful BSH kitten last week, she is 11 weeks old, friendly, cuddly, playful, sleeps all the time and is just beautiful - I already love her so much. But I am filled with this completely overwhelming feeling of anxiety and being trapped, and I have absolutely no idea why. I did so much research and had wanted a cat for company for so long. I live alone (I am 30) and am working from home permanently now, so it seemed the ideal time as I had previously figured working 9-5 in an office would be unfair on a kitten at home alone. But I think confronted with how tiny and vulnerable she is, the full scale commitment has hit home to me and I just feel awful.

I feel like I can't go out anymore, like I am trapped in the flat and can never go away for a weekend or have any spontaneous plans anymore. I'm terrified about leaving her even for a little bit in case she gets sad or lonely and I can't bear the thought of her being unhappy. I've even gone as far as buying a baby camera so I can speak to her whenever I do need to pop out I'm that worried about her being upset. But on the other hand I now feel like my life as I knew it is over and I just feel so guilty and horrible to have adopted this gorgeous little girl and be feeling this way, I don't understand why I do either as she's perfect! I considered if I should find her a new home but I can't bear the thought of it. But then on the other hand I'm in tears constantly so stressed about being responsible for her.

I've looked into a second kitten to maybe ease the pressure but it's not financially an option for me at the moment, there were also no other kittens available in the same litter or I might have just got another. She has hundreds of toys, purrs constantly, eats everything and is super playful and seems very happy - it's just me that hasn't quite adjusted. I think perhaps I should have gotten an older kitten/cat who was already less reliant (which was my plan) but when I saw her and she came running up to me I just couldn't resist as it felt like she was meant to be mine!

I think I just need someone to tell me it will be ok, her world won't end if I go out for dinner a couple of times a week and people can still go on holiday even if they own a cat. Has anyone else felt like this or am I just being crazy?!

 

[BellaGooch]

Aww, don't be ashamed! It's going to be okay!
I totally get this. Maybe start with leaving a little bit at a time- a half-hour to an hour (if you haven't already), and then gradually lengthen the time away. I'm praying that this anxiety quickly ceases

 

[Garfield1993]

Hey. Firstly, I think everyone has a feeling like this to some extent with small and vulnerable pets but honestly, she sounds absolutely fine and you don't need to be home 24/7 for her to be. Big play session, food, kitten proof room and you can easily leave her for a few hours. It feels very overwhelming at first. I know with my puppies a few years ago and again recently with our two new kittens you do feel like your life is on hold for a little while but it really is only a little while. They're only tiny for a tiny while and then they grow up. And if your situation changes in the future there's no reason why you couldn't get her a friend then. Just enjoy her and try to stop worrying. Sounds like she's in great hands.

 

[verna davies]

You are not the only person to feel like this, having any pet is a big commitment. Kittens and cats sleep a lot and when the house is quiet they usually settle down and rest. If you want to go out for a couple of hours, play with her and tire her out before you go then she will be happy to have some peace and quiet to sleep. She will also amuse herself with the toys you have for her. Dont spoil the experience of watching her grow, relax and enjoy her, you will both be fine and she is in good hands.

 

[wrb555]

Thank you so much everyone for replying so quickly and being so kind, just reading your replies and knowing other people have felt this way is enormously reassuring. I appreciate it so much. She slept from 11pm-9am last night, and is currently fast asleep on the sofa where she hasn't moved since 12 so I do think you're right that she'll use any free time for her naps!

 

[verna davies]

Your confidence will grow as she will. Do you have a photo of her for us to admire

 

[wrb555]

She’s gorgeous!

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. And congrats on being a new cat parent. Your kitten is pawsitively precious.

To address some of your concerns...

But I think confronted with how tiny and vulnerable she is, the full scale commitment has hit home to me and I just feel awful.

She's not as vulnerable as you think she is, and you'll be surprised at how quickly she'll grow, so take lots of pictures!

I feel like I can't go out anymore, like I am trapped in the flat and can never go away for a weekend or have any spontaneous plans anymore.

You definitely can go out, as she'll be fine while you're away. However, especially while she's a kitten you can't leave her overnight. But once she's older, that's not out of the question. And for longer trips, there's kitty boarding and cat sitters.

For now, however, when you go out, be sure to keep her in one closed kitten-proofed room. As long as she has food, water and her litter box, she'll be fine.

I'm terrified about leaving her even for a little bit in case she gets sad or lonely and I can't bear the thought of her being unhappy.

Cats are generally independent animals, so she'll be fine on her own for a little while, or even a whole day. Working cat parents, do exist, afterall.

But then on the other hand I'm in tears constantly so stressed about being responsible for her.

It's normal to feel that way, as you are now responsible for another little life. But TCS is here to help with the little stresses, and of course, vets for if something is really wrong with her.

I think I just need someone to tell me it will be ok, her world won't end if I go out for dinner a couple of times a week and people can still go on holiday even if they own a cat.

It's going to be ok. Most likely. I say "most likely" because there has been the odd thread where a new cat parent experiencing anxiety has returned the cat. But generally after some time, everything works out and the cat and human live happily ever after.

Has anyone else felt like this or am I just being crazy?!

Lots of new pet parents have felt this way, and have posted here at TCS. I adopted my Ruby almost 7 years ago, and remember having tons of questions, and even some "what have I done?" thoughts. And this was after growing up with family cats. It's different when they're YOUR cat.

You mentioned reading lots of info before you adopted her, but I'll post a few TCS articles that might be helpful.

First-time Cat Owner's Guide | TheCatSite
9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment | TheCatSite
Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips | TheCatSite

How Long Can You Leave Your Cat Alone For? | TheCatSite
Selecting The Best Pet Sitter | TheCatSite

Good luck. And, again, take lots of pictures, because this time next year you're going to wonder how that teeny kitten turned into that grown cat.

 

[wrb555]

Hello and welcome to TCS. And congrats on being a new cat parent. Your kitten is pawsitively precious.

To address some of your concerns...



She's not as vulnerable as you think she is, and you'll be surprised at how quickly she'll grow, so take lots of pictures!



You definitely can go out, as she'll be fine while you're away. However, especially while she's a kitten you can't leave her overnight. But once she's older, that's not out of the question. And for longer trips, there's kitty boarding and cat sitters.

For now, however, when you go out, be sure to keep her in one closed kitten-proofed room. As long as she has food, water and her litter box, she'll be fine.



Cats are generally independent animals, so she'll be fine on her own for a little while, or even a whole day. Working cat parents, do exist, afterall.



It's normal to feel that way, as you are now responsible for another little life. But TCS is here to help with the little stresses, and of course, vets for if something is really wrong with her.



It's going to be ok. Most likely. I say "most likely" because there has been the odd thread where a new cat parent experiencing anxiety has returned the cat. But generally after some time, everything works out and the cat and human live happily ever after.



Lots of new pet parents have felt this way, and have posted here at TCS. I adopted my Ruby almost 7 years ago, and remember having tons of questions, and even some "what have I done?" thoughts. And this was after growing up with family cats. It's different when they're YOUR cat.

You mentioned reading lots of info before you adopted her, but I'll post a few TCS articles that might be helpful.

First-time Cat Owner's Guide | TheCatSite
9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment | TheCatSite
Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips | TheCatSite

How Long Can You Leave Your Cat Alone For? | TheCatSite
Selecting The Best Pet Sitter | TheCatSite

Good luck. And, again, take lots of pictures, because this time next year you're going to wonder how that teeny kitten turned into that grown cat.

Wow thank you so much, this is so helpful!! You’re right, breaking it down like that makes it seem a lot less stressful. I’ve taken a couple of weeks off to settle her in and am hoping once we are back into a normal work/life routine it becomes less overwhelming too.

I am going to read the links you shared now thank you!

 

[verna davies]

She is absolutely beautiful.

 

[tabbytom]

I think I just need someone to tell me it will be ok, her world won't end if I go out for dinner a couple of times a week and people can still go on holiday even if they own a cat. Has anyone else felt like this or am I just being crazy?!

I agree with what all the above posters mentioned. Don't worry, your kitty will be fine. They are pretty independent. It could be just that you have a special heart for them and thus care and worry for them.

Most people have to work and they leave their cats alone at home. Leave a toy or two for her when you leave the house. Going out for a few hours is ok. Both of you will get use to it. You know you have to go out and have to leave your cat alone for a period of time and your kitty knows that you have to go out and she has to be left alone for a period of time. So once it's done often, it'll be no problem.

Moreover, cats sleep most of the time and if there's no one at home and nothing to do, they are sleeping. Just make sure your house is cat safe and you have nothing to worry about. Every time you come home, give your kitty a huge hug and shower her with kisses.

 

[kissthisangel]

It's actually way better to get her used to you leaving for short often periods right now, building up to longer times. She has tons to occupy her whilst you're out so please try not to worry. use your cam to check in but don't talk as she will get used to just sleeping when you're not home.

 

[squirrelfriend]

Here's a video on this, it will help!