So the slight tensions of integrating two new guys into the existing three-cat household have escalated into a big mess. 
TCS, I hate that I only seem to pop around when I need you, but... well, I need you!!!
My initial post for advice when I adopted Remy and Finn is here. Despite all my well-meaning efforts, the situation has devolved.
Essentially, we've escalated from Remy/Finn displaying occasional dominant behavior, to actively stalking and blocking Soph and Jack. According to my parents, with whom I live (and who are with the cats all day when I'm at work), this only happens when I'm at home. I still can't really determine if I'm the problem, or if the problem lies in the "territory" - as an adult living at home, I live on the second floor, and my bedroom, where I spend most of my time, has been Sophie and Jack's space for as long as I've had them.
Remy is the main instigator, and Sophie is the main target. He stalks her relentlessly. She always wants to be with me, but Remy and Finn are glued to my ankles from the moment I get home, and if I allow them into my bedroom, they will chase Soph and Jack, corner them, and bat/swat at them. Jack stands his ground more, so they don't mess with him as much, but Remy/Finn are a partnership, and they will tag-team him, so occasionally he gets pretty freaked out too. Sophie runs and tries to hide, and screeches like they're killing her if they corner her/chase her (though no one has gotten injured/scratched/etc). If Remy/Finn come upstairs with me and Soph and Jack try to follow, the boys will stretch out across the top of the stairs in that classic, passive "blocking" maneuver. I've caught Remy swatting at Jack while he tries to use his litterbox as well.
As I said above, my parents insist that there is relative peace while I'm not here, save for the occasional swatting encounter or defensive behavior. But I've noticed that Soph/Jack seem awfully eager to come up and eat when I get home, so I wonder if they just avoid the upstairs (and thus, their food bowls) while I'm out of the house, and wait to try to come up when I'm here with them to protect them. On the other hand, my mother has indicated that Jack sleeps upstairs often, so I'm not so sure.
I've been getting by, by closing Soph/Jack in the bedroom with me when I'm home. This way, they have their main "safe place" to themselves, free access to their food and litterboxes, and access to me. But this means isolating Remy and Finn from me, and I worry that that will cause problems as well. They are very people-friendly cats, and I didn't rescue them just to make them miserable by cutting them off from my attention. That's not to say that the rest of my family doesn't shower them with attention as well, but Finny in particular is very attached to me, and will stretch out on his back outside my door and whine when I'm inside.
Finn is actually able to come in and sit with us sometimes, if Soph and Jack are both sleeping/lying down. He will sleep on the bed with Jack, who doesn't seem to mind as long as Finn doesn't pick a spot too close to him. But if poor Soph tries to get up to get a drink or some food, he's immediately in Stalk Mode, and eventually I end up having to take him out of the room because otherwise, she gets cornered under the bed.
I can't even do that much with Remy. If he's with Sophie, he's picking on her. He exhibits classic "hunting" behavior whenever she's in his sights - the intent stare, the twitching tail, the body posture. He jumps up on whatever surface she's sleeping on (they have beds on pretty much every flat surface in the room, at varying heights) and smacks her on the nose until she jumps down - sometimes he takes her spot, other times he chases her under the bed and into corners. He fixates very strongly - once he's "locked on," he really LOCKS on - I can't divert him with toys, noises, or anything short of going over, picking him up, and carrying him away. If I move to bodily block his view of her, he just shifts until he can see around me, without even blinking.
So - now that I've written a novel - what do I do? I'm thinking that my best option is re-isolating and re-introducing, but obviously I did something wrong the first time around, and I don't want to repeat my mistakes. I also hate the idea of cooping Remy and Finn up in that bedroom for an extended period - they're very social guys, and with me only home for a few hours a day, and parents both coping with physical disabilities who have a rough time going up and down stairs - they'd be alone a LOT. People have told me, "why not just leave them to work it out themselves?" but the thought of any of them getting hurt (mostly Soph, who is tiny compared to the boys, but really any of them could get an eye scratched, etc) keeps me from really considering this.
I will readily admit that I'm out of my league here. None of these guys has shown any major changes in behavior, eating habits, litter box habits, etc, so no one's severely depressed or in distress, but this is clearly not optimal for them - Soph and Jack get bored and restless being stuck in one room all evening, and I don't get to spend as much time with Remy/Finn as I'd like because of the constant segregation. And I should also point out that I'm not necessarily willingly leaving Remy and Finny "out in the cold," as it were - I spend as much time with them as I can in the evening (they get Da Bird time every single day, and Finny, who's a DLH, gets a nice long brushing session every two days at the very least). But I'm home for maybe 4-5 hours before I crash into bed during the week, and that's not much time to get done everything I need to do, and spend time with all of them separately - particularly with my recently-worsening back problems (there are currently only a few places in the house that I have set up so that I can sit/recline comfortably for extended periods without inducing back spasms from the constant pressure, and they're pretty much all inside my bedroom).
I'll stop here in the interests of not making this any longer/harder to read, but I'll happily provide any other details that "the experts" want to know if needed. Any advice/anecdotes/etc would be hugely appreciated!!!
TCS, I hate that I only seem to pop around when I need you, but... well, I need you!!!My initial post for advice when I adopted Remy and Finn is here. Despite all my well-meaning efforts, the situation has devolved.
Essentially, we've escalated from Remy/Finn displaying occasional dominant behavior, to actively stalking and blocking Soph and Jack. According to my parents, with whom I live (and who are with the cats all day when I'm at work), this only happens when I'm at home. I still can't really determine if I'm the problem, or if the problem lies in the "territory" - as an adult living at home, I live on the second floor, and my bedroom, where I spend most of my time, has been Sophie and Jack's space for as long as I've had them.
Remy is the main instigator, and Sophie is the main target. He stalks her relentlessly. She always wants to be with me, but Remy and Finn are glued to my ankles from the moment I get home, and if I allow them into my bedroom, they will chase Soph and Jack, corner them, and bat/swat at them. Jack stands his ground more, so they don't mess with him as much, but Remy/Finn are a partnership, and they will tag-team him, so occasionally he gets pretty freaked out too. Sophie runs and tries to hide, and screeches like they're killing her if they corner her/chase her (though no one has gotten injured/scratched/etc). If Remy/Finn come upstairs with me and Soph and Jack try to follow, the boys will stretch out across the top of the stairs in that classic, passive "blocking" maneuver. I've caught Remy swatting at Jack while he tries to use his litterbox as well.
As I said above, my parents insist that there is relative peace while I'm not here, save for the occasional swatting encounter or defensive behavior. But I've noticed that Soph/Jack seem awfully eager to come up and eat when I get home, so I wonder if they just avoid the upstairs (and thus, their food bowls) while I'm out of the house, and wait to try to come up when I'm here with them to protect them. On the other hand, my mother has indicated that Jack sleeps upstairs often, so I'm not so sure.
I've been getting by, by closing Soph/Jack in the bedroom with me when I'm home. This way, they have their main "safe place" to themselves, free access to their food and litterboxes, and access to me. But this means isolating Remy and Finn from me, and I worry that that will cause problems as well. They are very people-friendly cats, and I didn't rescue them just to make them miserable by cutting them off from my attention. That's not to say that the rest of my family doesn't shower them with attention as well, but Finny in particular is very attached to me, and will stretch out on his back outside my door and whine when I'm inside.
Finn is actually able to come in and sit with us sometimes, if Soph and Jack are both sleeping/lying down. He will sleep on the bed with Jack, who doesn't seem to mind as long as Finn doesn't pick a spot too close to him. But if poor Soph tries to get up to get a drink or some food, he's immediately in Stalk Mode, and eventually I end up having to take him out of the room because otherwise, she gets cornered under the bed.
I can't even do that much with Remy. If he's with Sophie, he's picking on her. He exhibits classic "hunting" behavior whenever she's in his sights - the intent stare, the twitching tail, the body posture. He jumps up on whatever surface she's sleeping on (they have beds on pretty much every flat surface in the room, at varying heights) and smacks her on the nose until she jumps down - sometimes he takes her spot, other times he chases her under the bed and into corners. He fixates very strongly - once he's "locked on," he really LOCKS on - I can't divert him with toys, noises, or anything short of going over, picking him up, and carrying him away. If I move to bodily block his view of her, he just shifts until he can see around me, without even blinking.
So - now that I've written a novel - what do I do? I'm thinking that my best option is re-isolating and re-introducing, but obviously I did something wrong the first time around, and I don't want to repeat my mistakes. I also hate the idea of cooping Remy and Finn up in that bedroom for an extended period - they're very social guys, and with me only home for a few hours a day, and parents both coping with physical disabilities who have a rough time going up and down stairs - they'd be alone a LOT. People have told me, "why not just leave them to work it out themselves?" but the thought of any of them getting hurt (mostly Soph, who is tiny compared to the boys, but really any of them could get an eye scratched, etc) keeps me from really considering this.
I will readily admit that I'm out of my league here. None of these guys has shown any major changes in behavior, eating habits, litter box habits, etc, so no one's severely depressed or in distress, but this is clearly not optimal for them - Soph and Jack get bored and restless being stuck in one room all evening, and I don't get to spend as much time with Remy/Finn as I'd like because of the constant segregation. And I should also point out that I'm not necessarily willingly leaving Remy and Finny "out in the cold," as it were - I spend as much time with them as I can in the evening (they get Da Bird time every single day, and Finny, who's a DLH, gets a nice long brushing session every two days at the very least). But I'm home for maybe 4-5 hours before I crash into bed during the week, and that's not much time to get done everything I need to do, and spend time with all of them separately - particularly with my recently-worsening back problems (there are currently only a few places in the house that I have set up so that I can sit/recline comfortably for extended periods without inducing back spasms from the constant pressure, and they're pretty much all inside my bedroom).
I'll stop here in the interests of not making this any longer/harder to read, but I'll happily provide any other details that "the experts" want to know if needed. Any advice/anecdotes/etc would be hugely appreciated!!!
