New Cat - Play Aggression, bullying? Help!

[silviar]

We just adopted a second cat, a 7-9month old girl name Nika. She's been recently spayed (stitches out next week). She's been stunted due to have having kittens on her first litter, and is unlikely to grow bigger.

We also have a cat, Fagin, who is a playful and sweet boy at 8 kgs. Great personality, also neutered.

Introductions between the two are going okay. Fagin isn't thrilled, but he's only watching her and hissing if she gets too close, which is within a few feet of him.

We have a two part problem I need some advice on.

1) While Fagin will sit and watch her, or sometimes hide under a chair, when we open the door to her room, Nika will immediately try to bolt out of her safety room and, now that she knows he won't attack her, she charges at him and stops a few feet away after pushing him a bit. She's very alert with her tail thrashing, but no hissing/clays/ear signs. I'm concerned she's trying to bully him - is this something I need to address?

2) Nika gets quite violent if you're not constantly playing with her. And I mean constant. She expects an hour of play followed by a wee nap time, then aggressive play time. By aggressive I mean she will immediately grab my hand or leg, despite offering her an acceptable toy, and will death kick me and bite hard enough to draw blood. I try to not move my hand and 'play dead', but it doesn't matter - she will cling harder and bite more, so it's easier to slowly draw my hand back and tell her "No" firmly.

Another example: She was crying really badly last night, so I took my pillows into the room to sleep with her for company. We played for a bit, then we started to settle down. I went to bed (there's a single bed there), and she jumps up, purring, and immedately attacks my hair, death kicking and drawing blood on my scalp. She wouldn't stop, so I gave up and went back to my room.

Even when she's getting aggressive on hands, many times she's purring, so I know SHE'S happy - just not my hand, hah.

I know this is a new home and she's probably stressed to no end, especially since she keeps bothering her spay wound and we had to have the vet wrap her. I've got a Feliway in her room, and now here this morning on day 3 it seemed that she was slightly mellower than before.

Most of the time - and this includes when she was at the foster home she was in - she seemed to almost always be on alert, and she often thrashes her tail.

What can we do to help mellow her out a bit, and teach her toys, not hands? Any tips for helping her feel more at ease? I don't expect her to act exactly like our other cat, but I'd like to not live in fear of more open wounds.

Any tips at all, because she's such a sweet and lovely girl other times that I know she's not nasty-tempered. I don't want to have to take her back.

 

[mservant]

It sounds like you are responding appropriately to her biting and understand that she is not wanting to hurt you when she is doing this.  When you say the introductions are going OK, is that phased introductions as described here

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

or bringing Nika home and seeing how they get along in your home?  If you have not tried working through a phased introduction this is worth going in to and giving them both space, gently introducing them to each other's smell, and watching eating etc.  I agree with you that it sounds as if Nika is stressed and her behaviour reflects this, and it may be that her aggression towards you is because any contact overstimulates her in her hyper-alert state, and / or there is a degree of redirected aggression from Fagin to you.  It does sound more aggression out of fear  than just over zealous play and getting carried away when she is playing.  

If you can try (if necessary going back over) introductions and take them slowly so that both cats look reasonably calm with things hopefully this will help them both.  Also, try using toys like feather wands to introduce more touch for Nika where your hand will be less at risk if she responds with biting or kicking very quickly; you would be able to see if there are particular spots that are more sensitive for her that she doesn't like to be touched, and also see if she can start to see touch as a pleasurable thing rather than a threat if her fear and arousal state starts to lower.

If you know anything about her life before she was at the place you adopted her from this might also help inform you on her behaviour, like if she was with her mother for any time at all,  not socialised with people or perhaps socialised with people who hurt her in some way.

I hope you manage to calm her and her behaviour towards you settles as this must be really stressful for all of you.  Also, if she is biting and breaking your skin you must keep a close eye on any wounds for any inflammation or swelling as cat bites can carry a lot of bacteria and need medical attention quickly if they do become inflamed.

 

[silviar]

Hey M!

Yes, we're doing the phased introductions, and they're going well - the hardest part has been getting Nika to be patient about exploring the rest of the house. We're letting the two have brief supervised nearness interactions, just a few (and more because she charged outta the room like a slinky minx with a Ferrari engine, jeez she's quick), while Nika is mostly staying in her room in the back.

We're having problems finding a gate here in Aus that can cover the door comfortably so they can see each other but not go into each other's spaces. It's a real hassle finding anything in Australia that doesn't cost an arm and a leg to boot. -.- I'm still searching for a good gate. Until then, brief but spaced interactions.

 

[mservant]

Could you make some kind of screen to go across the door with something else, like window insect mesh, or the clear thick sheeting you sometimes get for children to screen stair balustrades  (banister guard)  to stop kids getting their heads and feat through?  You could use that across a door, or across a door with a basic child safey gate? Web search for Child safety balustrade guard if you want to see what it looks like.

 

[silviar]

I think what I'm going to do is wrap chicken wire around the baby gate.

In the meantime, I've discovered that she's also started peeing on stuff -.- The one I think was an accident, but she's also peed on the bedding we left in the room she was in. She's been using the litter box with no problems I thought, so I've cleaned it in case she's extra finicky, and I hope we can figure out if this is going to be a common thing. The one downside to renting is that if she's going to constantly pee on the carpet (hasn't happened yet, but...), I may have to return her to animal welfare. Sigh.

 

[mservant]

With the gate that sounds good as it is something you can do quickly.

I rented for a long time before I got my own place and totally understand your anxieties there, and the need to keep certain behaviours from developing.  With the bed and other soft things with your scent if she is seemingly selecting these, I have read the attached thread amny times before: there are a few ideas, and a lot of interesting discussion in addition to further links about this issue.  I really hope you find something that registers with you for your girl and what you are going through just now.

 http://www.thecatsite.com/t/9563/inappropriate-peeing-problems-answered