New cat not settling in, very hissy, aggressive towards our kitten, going to be rehomed if she can't

[melesine]

If I am understanding this correctly a period of introduction was never done? This article posted above is a good one and I really think it is worth a try before rehoming a cat (http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats). Like others have said two weeks is a very short period of time, especially if they were introduced too quickly. I know it is hard to find space but even separating her in the bathroom or a large cage is what many people do during introductions. 

Again like others have said the behaviour you are describing is very mild. Kittens can be real pests and my kitten sometimes goes to far in bugging my older cat and he has hissed a couple of times at her- she actually doesn't even notice and keeps carrying on. I do not think Star is having her life ruined by a few hisses. 

Honestly there seems to be some strange resentment in your posts about Lena and my heart really goes out to this cat. She has been abandoned twice so no wonder she is a little wary of new situations. I hope you and your partner can show some compassion to this poor thing and try to understand how scared and unsure she must be feeling after being rehomed so many times. She is also for sure picking up on your resentment and preferential treatment of the kitten. If a good person wants her then maybe it would be best to rehome her but sure it will be for the last time! 

I completely agree that there is obviously resentment towards Lena. I totally understand that mothering instinct to protect the kitten, and the kitten should be protected. But that doesn't mean that all other cats in the home are at her mercy and not allowed to have their own needs and feelings met. Especially so when a proper introduction wasn't done between these cats. What Lena is doing is totally and completely normal for many cats and does not mean that they won't be friends once they get to know each other better. And even if they don't as long as the kitten is allowed to learn that Lena likes her space then they should be fine. Lena hasn't shown any aggression towards the kitten, she has simply said, hey I don't know you because those humans didn't let me get used to your scent before tossing us together and hey I want my space. 

Its not just a case of Lena being grumpy, an hour or so ago we let her into the room with little Star, she went straight over to where Star was asleep and hissed at her, scaring Star awake, my partner is not going to put up with anyone behaving aggressively towards his kitten, and quite rightly so, Lenas twice the size of Star, little Star deserves to feel safe in her home. up till that point Lena had done really well today but now everyone upset with her again.  Someones expressed a interest in homing Lena, I really don't want her to go but if she keeps being nasty, its not going to be my choice as my partner and little Star are not going anywhere.   I have very little time left to get through to her...
 

So the precious kitten isn't supposed to learn any cat manners from the other cats and just supposed to rule the roost? That's what it sounds like. 

 

[pawz]

I am so sorry to hear about this situation, unfortunately it is one many cat families face. When I adopted my first cat Bailey he was the king of our castle, and very anti-social from being abused. We thought perhaps he might like a play-mate so we adopted another cat Boots. It took them almost two months before they were tolerant of each other. It was a very stressful time in my house not knowing if we had made a mistake by adopting another cat, and we considered rehoming Boots since Bailey was the first one in our home, but wanted to be sure before we made that choice. We decided to pull out some catnip bubbles and played with Bailey separately  with them, then Boots separately. Then we put them in the same room and as soon as they saw the bubbles they focused on that rather than each other. They were rewarded with treats and loads of attention. Each time one passed by the other without hissing or starting a fight they were rewarded with a treat. we rewarded them for every activity they completed being tolerant of each other and eventually they became the best of pals and now they are literally inseparable.

I know this may not work in every case, however, it could be worth a shot. Reward .. reward.... reward... and again reward. Carry treats in your pocket so that if there is even a few seconds of tolerance you can reward them right away before they even have the time to hiss.  If you are not a treat person then make sure to reward with love and petting if there are a few moments of tolerance as well. It helped my cats and hopefully you can find something that will help yours.

Also As mentioned by a few others I would try another introduction.  Try putting Star in a carrier so she can not be harmed and let Lena get a good whiff. Sure she may hiss but she cannot harm Star if she is in a proper carrier. It would be a shame for Lena to lose another home, that can really impact a animal, however, if you must rehome her please make sure to find a family/person who will keep her for all the days of her life.

 

[msbedelia]

I agree with the good insight and advice others have given on this thread. It's worth adding that people have found it helpful to distract a cat who looks like they may be paying inappropriate attention to another cat with an interactive toy, like Da Bird or a Nekro fly or whatever kitty likes. Then they get their aggression out In an appropriate way, build their confidence/positive feelings, and forget their intent toward the other cat.

 

[Sa'ida Maryam]

Hi everyone, all the post are very informative. It sound like Lena is going to be re-homed and I hope she is not being sold. I would hate to think she is considered profitable, but not tolerable. I thought multiple cats reveal human annoyance. Your story confirms that for me.

 

[catspaw66]

 I thought multiple cats reveal human annoyance. Your story confirms that for me.

Explain your statement, please. A lot of us have multiple cats and have no problems.

 

[flintmccullough]

People-ask-me-all-the-time,How,does-a-breeder-decide-if-some-one-would-give-a-kitten,a-very-good-home.Its-not-the-pages-and-pages-of-the-application,its-not-the-references.It's-talking-to-the-person,and-I-know-the-majority-on-here,know-exactly,what-I-am-talking-about.What-the-breeder-is-looking-for,is-the-persons-outlook,or-attitude.

I-can-tell,just-from-reading-the-initial-post,if-the-person-is-genually-looking-for-help,or-if-they-are-looking-for-a-quick-fix.I-can-tell-if-they-really-want-to-fix-the-issue,and-do-what-it-takes,or-if-they-have-pretty-much-made-up-their-mind.

I-train-horses,I-specialize-in-the-problem-horses,and-in-every-case,the-issue-is-"man-made".I-train-cats,I-can-fix-any-situation,but-in-most-cases,the-person,or-people,really-don't-want-to-do,what-is-needed,because-it-takes-time,alot-of-it,and-alot-of-patience,a-very-lot.

If-one-looks-at-the-whole-picture.

2-young-kitties-who-never-met-each-other-brought-into-a-household,with-a-single-resident-kitty.And-one-young-kitty,who-already-been-thru-majory-surgery,and-2-prev-homes,and-prob-never-given-the-proper-time-to-adjust-at-the-prev-homes-before.That-is-an-awful-lot,to-put-a-young-kitty-thru,and-expect,an-instant-adjustment.

The-introductions-should-have-been-in-3-parts,with-a-good-month,inbetween,each-part.

All-3-should-have-been-isolated-seperately,none-of-them-knows-the-other,and-2-are-kittens,one-a-very-young-kitten,and-another-kitten-who-already-been-thru-"heck".

This-is-a-very-minor-situation,and-very-easily-corrected,BUT.......its-going-to-take-alot-of-time,alot,and-alot-of-patience,a-very-lot.

All-kitties-need-to-be-taken-back-to-the-start,like-they-just-got-there,and-done-properly,but-I-also-get-the-impression,in-fact-I-know-it,lol,one-of-the-two-people-involved,want-a-quick-fix.

In-my-opinion,Lena-needs-to-be-rehomed,as-an-only-kitty,or-found-a-home-where-someone-wants-to-take-the-time-she-needs,being,all-that-she-has-been-thru,in-her-very-short-life.

If-you-could-get-her-down-here,I-would-take-her,and-in-6-months,tell-everyone,how-she-is-running-and-playing-with-my-kittens.

 

[meaganandalbert]

If Lena is a girl and Squitten is a boy. There's your problem. The desexed males get used to kittens a lot faster than females but seriously give the cat a chance! I know it's tough but thats what you get when you get 3 cats at different ages and sexes. I have four cats who all hated each other to start with, i had a resident female who was 6 another female who's 4 a new male who's 2 and a new kitten that was 2 months old. We didn't separate them for longer than two days then we just let them yell at each other with the door open if anyone needed a break. 4 months later, They all love each other. It's like introducing 3 orphans to each other who are older and younger and girls and boys, it takes time to get used to one another. Don't send her back, just let her settle in and get used to her new life, reassure her and let her know she's there to stay. Females sometimes hate kittens just for being kittens and also her distrust in Star will not make any difference to the kitty, it may even teach him not to be so in-yo-face with the adults. Be patient and love each equally, because Squitten and Star like each other she may be feeling a little jealous or left out, give her slightly more attention so she knows your hers. 

(BTW- i know i didn't do the introductions correctly, i do now with my new kitties but i didn't know at the time. My point is even with bad intro's, time is the biggest aspect of bonding and they should be left to adjust.)