New cat not settling in, very hissy, aggressive towards our kitten, going to be rehomed if she can't

[squittensmum]

Hi all, we acquired a 3 month old Siamese cross kitten called Star and a one year old (rather inbred, cross eyed) oriental called Lena within days of each other from different homes a few weeks ago, I also have a resident Siamese cat , Squitten who's 7.

 We've done introductions, lots of hissing, mainly on Lenas part, kept them all in separate rooms, let them out at different times etc.... Two weeks on, Squitten & Star are best mates, Squitten has accepted Lena, there was a few short fights but Lena was submissive towards Squitten, shes wary of Squitten now but they seem fairly ok when together now.

 Lena & Star however, different story,  when Lena sees Star she hisses & growls at her, sometimes she skulks away, sometimes she pursues her aggressively with more hissing and some swiping of claws. She does behave a bit better when Squitten is around. When the other cats are around Lenas tail is down and shes constantly checking the exits. I have taken her into the garden a few times on a lead, we live quite rurally and she would have access to fantastic gardens and fields if she stays here. But it seems to us that shes constantly trying to escape, when she got startled outside on the lead she ran away from home not back towards it.

 Lena is wonderful with humans, shes such a lovely cat until she sees Star, she is on her third home already as she took a dislike to a cat she used to live with, she had just been spayed a week or so before we got her. But we can't go on like this much longer, Stars kitten hood is being ruined, the whole house is stressed out and we're fed up of playing musical rooms. As it stands Lena is up for re homing, IF she can change her ways or we can do something to help her before we get a phone call about her, she can stay, I would love her to stay, we can offer her a wonderful home and more freedom than she'd get in most homes but it really feels like she doesn't want to be here.

 Any ideas anyone?

 

[squittensmum]

Oh and I forgot to mention, when Lenas getting nasty at Star we're removing her from the room, not sure if thats the right thing to do or not, can't just sit by and watch her frighten little Star...
 

 

[denice]

It sounds like you're doing everything right the only additional thing that might help is the Feliway diffusers, I don't know if they are sold in the UK or not.  They seem to really help calm some cats.  You said that she has lost homes before because she doesn't get along with other cats she may need to be an only cat.  Some cats are like that.  She may just be really picky about a cat that she can live with.  The only thing really that I could suggest is continuing to do what you are doing, it could be that it's just going to take longer with her.  If you do rehome her I would try to get her into a home where she would be the only cat. 

 

[squittensmum]

I did consider feeliway but there very expensive and would take a week or so to get here and theres no gurantee it would work.. such a shame, we can offer her so much but shes got to be nice to our other cats, or at least, not hiss at them...
 

 

[denice]

With some cats no hissing, a mutual tolerance is the most that can be achieved.  I have never tried it but a cat behaviorist with a show on animal planet uses a technique with food.  He keeps a closed door between the cats but feeds each one as close to the door as possible and have them still eating.  He then gets them closer and closer to the door and then after they are each next to the door he opens it for a short time while they are eating.  It's a positive association thing, the other cats scent equals food.  Since you're kind of stuck right now and the cats have to eat anyway it might be worth a try.

 

[tulosai]

Hi! and welcome!

Can I ask how you did introductions? Did you roughly follow the advice in this article? http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

If not I think you should just start over with introducing Lena. Since Star and Squittens (luckily!) get along, there is no need to reintroduce them.  Even if you did follow those steps in the article, my advice is the same: start over with introductions and go much much slower.

I think your expectations regarding how long it can take cats to settle in with each other are a little unrealistic.  You say you've only had Lena a few weeks- it's frankly questionable whether she should even have met the other cats fact to face yet, much less been given free range of the house with them.  It can actually take months for cats to fully accept each other but it usually does happen.  I personally would definitely not give up on the situation this soon.

 

[squittensmum]

Spent the evening on the cat from hell website, wow! there's some cats with issues there! most interesting though, wish they'd repeat it on UK telly (they repeat everything else here!)

To be honest the initial introduction did not go well, the breeder we bought Lena from brought her over and let her out in our hallway while the other cats were around! I had thought a professional cat breeder would know better! Since then Lenas been shut in the living room at night and in our bedroom during the day, we're getting a routine of letting her out, distracting all the cats with food and toys and seeing how it goes, as soon as Lena starts hissing at Star she goes back into the bedroom, I've been taking her for walks around the garden (Squitten comes along and keeps us in check) we have a outdoor area that's chicken wired so her and Star have free access to some outside, Star needs her second lot of jabs and spaying before we let her out properly.  Theres also a huge unspayed male stray in our village causing chaos in a few houses so we are rather wary of him.

 Squitten used to be a complete pain when she was a indoor cat, moving into the country and letting her out was the best thing ever for her,  I know the same could happen to Lena IF I can keep her here long enough.

 Little Star belongs to my partner and hes really had enough of Lenas nastiness, the stress & upset its causing is unbelievable, We can't keep them separate all the time, we need to be able to move from room to room in our own home, no such thing as spare rooms here, I did wonder about making a chicken wire screen door for the bedroom so they can see and smell each other but not get to each other but I do worry that Lenas just going to sit behind it hissing at everyone.

 I've never had a hissy cat before, I'm presuming shes been allowed to get away with it so far. I had expected trouble between Squitten and Lena as Squitten is the Top Cat but there's been very little, Squittens totally accepted Lena and seems really pleased to see her in the garden when we take her out for a walk. I don't understand why Lena keeps going for little Star, shes only a kitten and clearly is no threat to her, clearly there's a lot of cat psychology going on that I don't understand
 

 

[denice]

I really like Jackson Galaxy, I'm reading his book now.  I'm no behavior expert by a long shot but everything I have seen him do or say makes sense to me.  He was the one that I've seen doing the feeding with a closed door between the cats.  I would keep doing doing what you're doing and give it more time.  Some cats take longer than others and the rough beginning will probably slow things down.

 

[Sa'ida Maryam]

Hi to all @TCS

I read that Siamese cats are very vocal. It may be that you are just going to have a very busy loud household. These cats are just doing what come instinctively. It may be not be much love between them. They are not interested in the spaciousness of the house. They are I read instinctively sleek, thin in body structure. Any owner of Siamese out there that can fill in this information.

 

[msbedelia]

We're also in the process of introducing a new cat who is rather hissy and aggressive, with a history of being retuned. We've had her for three weeks, so I feel your frustration. We also live in an apartment in which we need use of all rooms and, yes, having one door shut and needing to sneak in and out is a pain.

It sounds to me like Lena is fearful and nervous. Maybe she's taking it out on Star bc she can get away with it as he is younger. I think if you're able to give it time, patience, and build positive associations through feeding and play near each other, as well as boosting Lena's confidence through play, etc., things might work out. The poor dear has had a volatile young life, with lots of new kitties, new homes, and returns, and the stress of all that is probably adding to the problem. I'm not sure how things will turn out for Lena if she is rehomed yet again.

But it also sounds like, if you are up to putting time, effort, and patience in, you still need to find a way to lower the tension and stress in the household. Cats pick up on that and it affects their behavior. It also sounds miserable for you.

 

[melesine]

It may just take some time. My blue boy Lucky hissed all the time at the kittens and anything that had their smell on it when we first brought them home. He did it for a good 6 weeks I'd say. Now he totally loves them. He plays with them and grooms them and naps with them. Some cats are just hissers, and it has nothing to do with " letting them get away with it". Our Lucky has been a hisser since we took him in as stray kitten, but he is completely loving. I've wondered if it's because he was dumped and living on his own outside for awhile before we found him. He had to protect himself out there.

 

[txcatmom]

Some cats are just hissers, and it has nothing to do with " letting them get away with it"

I agree.  I don't see hissing as misbehavior at all.  It is simply a cat saying, "I'm uncomfortable with you...give me some space...stay away."  They should be allowed to vocalize that any time they want, in my opinion.  Our Leo (very sweet cat) is also a bit of a hisser, especially at the vet.  Our newest cat (been here nearly a year now) also gets hissed at by him on a pretty regular basis...although they have a nice sibling relationship going, sometimes enjoying each other and grooming each other...she just bugs him sometimes.  He'll growl at her too occasionally, even swat occasionally.  But he's never been outright violent so I don't worry about it one bit.

I can see removing the cat for out and out violence.  But removing her for just expressing her feelings might stress her out and make the process take longer.  I think a more laid back attitude on the part of the humans in the house might help.  I'd try to relax and not stress out when Leena is being grumpy with the kitten.  (Of course, as I said, out and out violence would take some intervention.)

 

[squittensmum]

Its not just a case of Lena being grumpy, an hour or so ago we let her into the room with little Star, she went straight over to where Star was asleep and hissed at her, scaring Star awake, my partner is not going to put up with anyone behaving aggressively towards his kitten, and quite rightly so, Lenas twice the size of Star, little Star deserves to feel safe in her home. up till that point Lena had done really well today but now everyone upset with her again.  Someones expressed a interest in homing Lena, I really don't want her to go but if she keeps being nasty, its not going to be my choice as my partner and little Star are not going anywhere.   I have very little time left to get through to her...
 

 

[txcatmom]

Little Star belongs to my partner and hes really had enough of Lenas nastiness

my partner is not going to put up with anyone behaving aggressively towards his kitten

Lena doesn't sound nasty at all to me. From someone who has been through 3 new cat introductions in the past couple of years, it just sounds like she expressing her feelings about Star. 

Does Star show any evidence that she doesn't "feel safe in her home" or that her "kittenhood is being ruined?"  Signs of stress might include hiding (though some cats just like hidey holes), peeing or pooping outside the box, not eating, etc...  These aren't always signs of stress (sometimes they are medical issues)...but sometimes they are related to stress.

But if your partner is set in this mindset of seeing Lena as the aggressor and Star as a victim, then perhaps re-homing is best.  Poor Lena might always be seen as "the nasty one."    I do think a relaxing in the humans' reactions to cat hissing could be helpful in this case.  I know hissing is a stressful sound.  It freaked me out the first time I heard it.  But I've noticed the cats aren't nearly stressed out about it as I am.  I feel sorry for my Lucy (who isn't a kitten but is half the size of Leo) when Leo hisses (and sometimes growls) at her, but I don't think she feels sorry for herself at all.  She is confident and happy.  I'm the one tempted to be stressed out by the hissing.  But I try not to project my human emotions onto the cats. 

One more thought...while neither of us knows for sure what Lena was thinking when she walked over to a sleeping Star and hissed I think it is likely she thought, "Hmmm, a cat, I'd better walk over and check this out" then hissed because she was not pleased with what she found (cats rely heavily on scent to recognize each other so she truly might not have even known it was Star until she walked over there.)  I think it is less likely she thought "There's Star.  I'm going to go hiss at her and wake her up and scare her."  I don't think cats think like that...but of course we can't know for sure.  But why not assume the best about Lena?  She really sounds like she has potential to fit in well in a muti-cat household.  I wouldn't describe her as aggressive from the way you have described things (some swatting between cats is normal, especially adult to kitten.)

Also, it really does take time sometimes for cats to accept a new cat.  My Eko hissed at Leo for over a month when Leo was new.  Now they are snuggle buddies (the black cat and orange cat in my photo) but they to have "tifts" as many siblings do. 

 

[denice]

I know it's completely different but my little girl cat, Alice, will hiss at my other cat, Patches when Patches has been to the vets.  It usually lasts about three days.  Alice will keep inching closer until she get's a good dose of vet smell then she will hiss at him.  Patches just looks at her like she's crazy and goes on about his business.  I know the sound of a cat hissing is nerve wracking and I certainly wouldn't leave them alone in fact I would keep face to face contact to a very small amount now.  A cat hissing is just a warning and a sign of uncertainty.  Growling is definitely aggression.

 

[txcatmom]

Growling is definitely aggression.

I'd respectfully disagree.  It can be a precursor to aggression.  But it is a way to try and avoid aggression.  This article I'll link says spitting, hissing and growling can be signs of annoyance, fright, anger or aggression....

http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/cats/tips/cat_communication.html

The very end gives a good description of what it looks like when a cat is really staring another cat down, the body language, noises, etc that you will see right before a fight if one of them doesn't back down.  As the article notes, cats like to avoid physical blows (they could get injured) so sometimes their noises are to try and avoid the physical tussle. 

 

[tulosai]

I just really, strongly feel that you and your partner are not giving this enough time.  It has only been two weeks- I would give it at least two months before giving up on the situation. It actually sounds to me from most of what you say that they are doing great- there have been no fights and there are actually no real signs, as others have pointed out, that star is stressed out- just that your partner is.  I don't see why 'his cat' is more important than 'your cat' either- I'm assuming that someone is claiming Lena as their own here.

Lena is trying to get comfortable and testing the waters.  You really have to give her time to do so.  I feel really bad that she is going to be rehomed over what seems to be very very minor aggression if it even is that- it sounds to me like she is freaked out and scared, maybe not of Star, but of the whole situation.

When I brought my kitten home, he hissed at me for a week straight.  I knew 100% that he was not feral, so I just took it to mean 'back off, I don't know if you are a friendly giant or not'.  His brother, who has always had as his guiding principle that the world is good and would probably follow a stranger out of my apartment immediately, no problemo if they pet him a few times and maybe gave him a treat, had no such qualms.  After a week or so of this, one night when friendly kitten was on me giving me biscuits, shy kitty just jumped my head and started to give me biscuits too.  Since then he and I are best buds- he actually is more cuddly than the other one now/. He just needed some time to adjust.  I hope you will give your kitty this same time.

 

[lunariris]

A few weeks is a very very short time for 3 new cats to adjust to eachother. (I know the one cat has been there 7 years but to the other 2 cats she's still very new to them). It generally takes several months for cats to adjust to each other. We have 9 cats, so I know all about introductions, and it can take some time or it can be immediate. Most of the time I would expect hissing for several weeks because they have to get used to seeing each other in their home and realize they aren't a threat to them.

It sounds normal for cats who don't know one another, and it sounds like Lena is scared and not violent. Unless she is physically attacking (hissing and swatting, occasional growling is normal at first) I wouldn't worry much. Hissing is just letting the other cats know to give her personal space, and waking Star to hiss may be trying to claim territory in the house and claim a higher status in the hierarchy. But if she's not chasing and biting Star or screeching and not letting her eat etc. then it doesn't sound like a problem. From experience I've found the cats who hiss the most are the most afraid. Some cats do suffer from fear aggression if they feel cornered, they may lash out, but once they realize that something is not really a threat they tend to calm down.

What worked for us:

Let the new cat have a room in the house that they 'stay' in for several weeks, not being out with the other cats yet.

This is sometimes called their 'safe room' or sanctuary by cat behaviorists. Then take some old socks and put them on your hands, let each cat rub their face up against one sock as you pet them, and take the sock with one cat's scent and put it near the cat's bed in the other room. This lets them get used to each other's scents and being around them when they are relaxing/asleep gradually. They have 'friendly' facial scent glands that give off pheromones in their cheeks. That's why cats rub their faces on things, it's usually a way of sending a relaxing message that they are comfortable in their home (the complete opposite of spray marking where they back up to something to mark, that's an insecurity issue where they are frustrated and trying to stake out territory, usually against another cat, as an alternative to fighting to get the message across).

After a few weeks, I actually asked my uncle for help and installed a basic screen door (I bought one rather cheaply at home depot, and just added some chicken wire to both sides so they can't scratch through the screening) and put the screen door up on my bed room in front of my regular door. This way I could open my door and expose the screen door, so they could get used to seeing each other and smelling each other without being able to attack each other. Also this let me know if I was going to have a problem way before they could get in a fight. I would spray a little Feliway (this mimics their friendly facial pheromones) on both sides of the doorway to my room. Then I would feed them on both sides of the door (obviously this is difficult with 9 cats, but somehow I managed. I would only put a few dishes on the outside of my door at a time, so I didn't overwhelm the new cat with tons of new people all at once, they would get to meet everyone one or two at  a time, and I'd monitor for potential problems. ****Expect hissing for at least the first few introductions. Think of it as you coming home one day and seeing some random person sitting on your couch, and that person doesn't even know how they got there, but they say you two are going to be roommates from now on.....of course you are going to be a little annoyed and want them to stay out of your stuff, and they are going to want their own room and space. That's what they're doing, figuring out what this stranger is doing in their home, whether they are a threat, and how them staying is at all beneficial to them. After you notice they aren't hissing or posturing at the door towards each other, let them in the room with each other one at a time, and if there are no physical fights, let them wander around for a while. If there are fights, immediately separate them and start over. It's about getting them to see each other positively. Fights are definitely a negative. Hissing is not fighting, it is telling the other cat to give them space, which is acceptable. Some tips: Get some shelves that they can climb on, on the wall, or get some cat trees, to give them high and low vertical space in the house. It will help them not be able to get cornered and not feel the need to escape, and let them see their surroundings from above, which lets a lot of cats feel safer. It also helps them establish who is in higher status in the hierarchy, by who is positioned higher in the house (cat hierarchies change frequently, usually passively they can start to share space once they get along). Play with some toys on poles with string, to get them to start to play together and they will start to get along more. You may want to start with one pole toy in each hand (or you hold one and your partner holds one) and play with each cat near each other until they can learn to share a toy. But for now the objective would be to get them to play near each other and get used to being in the same room. Be sure to praise each cat for good behavior. When my cats are misbehaving, I usually whistle or snap my fingers and call their name and whoever I'm talking to knows and then walks away from what they're doing (it takes a while to teach them but they are smarter than people think). Good luck with your kitties, just give it some time.

 

[franksmom]

If I am understanding this correctly a period of introduction was never done? This article posted above is a good one and I really think it is worth a try before rehoming a cat (http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats). Like others have said two weeks is a very short period of time, especially if they were introduced too quickly. I know it is hard to find space but even separating her in the bathroom or a large cage is what many people do during introductions. 

Again like others have said the behaviour you are describing is very mild. Kittens can be real pests and my kitten sometimes goes to far in bugging my older cat and he has hissed a couple of times at her- she actually doesn't even notice and keeps carrying on. I do not think Star is having her life ruined by a few hisses. 

Honestly there seems to be some strange resentment in your posts about Lena and my heart really goes out to this cat. She has been abandoned twice so no wonder she is a little wary of new situations. I hope you and your partner can show some compassion to this poor thing and try to understand how scared and unsure she must be feeling after being rehomed so many times. She is also for sure picking up on your resentment and preferential treatment of the kitten. If a good person wants her then maybe it would be best to rehome her but sure it will be for the last time! 

 

[melesine]

Its not just a case of Lena being grumpy, an hour or so ago we let her into the room with little Star, she went straight over to where Star was asleep and hissed at her, scaring Star awake, my partner is not going to put up with anyone behaving aggressively towards his kitten, and quite rightly so, Lenas twice the size of Star, little Star deserves to feel safe in her home. up till that point Lena had done really well today but now everyone upset with her again.  Someones expressed a interest in homing Lena, I really don't want her to go but if she keeps being nasty, its not going to be my choice as my partner and little Star are not going anywhere.   I have very little time left to get through to her...
 

I don't see why this cat has to pay the price of being rehomed because of poor introduction procedures by the humans involved. Separate them and start over.