New cat Lolli, FIV positive, and our other 2 cats. Now what?

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bikeman

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A list with some shelters we haven't called yet came in the email tonight. We will call the balance of them tomorrow, but I don't hold out much hope. What we need is an understanding foster home for difficult situations. I would be willing to drive him to another state.
 

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A list with some shelters we haven't called yet came in the email tonight. We will call the balance of them tomorrow, but I don't hold out much hope. What we need is an understanding foster home for difficult situations. I would be willing to drive him to another state.
Hoping so much you find one. 🙏🏻 Or release him, he can still have a life outside. If you wait for a home since you are not afraid of him you can take over his care maybe until then.
 
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A whole lot of "if onlys" have been going through my head. My wife fears for her safety from him that she is ready to move out of the house, even if he is confined to a bedroom away from her. The house isn't large - only about the size of a mobile home, so separating him completely isn't an indoor option. Outside is extremely dangerous and we'd still need to care for him if he got injured, which almost happened several times between March and September of this year before he came inside. Frankly, it is too much for her nerves to take, and even if that worked for any duration, our two others would never be able to safely go outside on our patio as they've been doing for most of their lives.

I am glad for you that you have been able to get cats to readjust to outside living. It doesn't seem to be a viable option here, and she just wants to end this merry-go-round with Lolli for once and for all. One of us has given up. One of us hasn't. And it is destroying us inside.

EDIT:
He is sleeping peacefully on my bed as I type this, and has been for several hours. But minutes later, if she ventured close to him, he could turn and attack her.
 

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B bikeman If you have an outdoor patio how about making him an enclosed shelter there?

Something like this, so he has shelter but can get outside too?.

1576837702070.png
 

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A whole lot of "if onlys" have been going through my head. My wife fears for her safety from him that she is ready to move out of the house, even if he is confined to a bedroom away from her. The house isn't large - only about the size of a mobile home, so separating him completely isn't an indoor option. Outside is extremely dangerous and we'd still need to care for him if he got injured, which almost happened several times between March and September of this year before he came inside. Frankly, it is too much for her nerves to take, and even if that worked for any duration, our two others would never be able to safely go outside on our patio as they've been doing for most of their lives.

I am glad for you that you have been able to get cats to readjust to outside living. It doesn't seem to be a viable option here, and she just wants to end this merry-go-round with Lolli for once and for all. One of us has given up. One of us hasn't. And it is destroying us inside.

EDIT:
He is sleeping peacefully on my bed as I type this, and has been for several hours. But minutes later, if she ventured close to him, he could turn and attack her.
So sorry, what a tough situation. 😿 I hope you can find someone or a shelter to take him in. Maybe a sanctuary for feral, not totally tame cats. It sounds like meds might help him since he flips between aggression with biting and being peaceful.

I have not re adjusted them, the ones outside were only in for a few days due to tnr and the released except for one who I kept for two weeks for various reasons and then released. I had not seen her for over a year and then she showed up just 3 weeks ago or so, I was thrilled and hope maybe someone took her in but she still goes out and remembered us.

I thought I would have to do that with Merlin who bit me outside and who was continuing to try to nip at me but somehow I seem to have trained him not to by scruffing him whenever he does anything like that. I still feel a bit nervous here and there but he has shown no signs of actually biting me again just kind of nips etc and and the bite outside was not aggressive, I think he was startled or trying to stop me walking away. Quinn bites too, but he never punctures / breaks the skin, but he can get quite aggressive and then I scruff him and spray him and it stops it, I have to make sure I have my legs covered when he gets like that, when he was a kitten he learned to bite me under my robe though😹

It is awful for me because none of my cats have ever bitten me. One was a feral kitten who became wild at 6 months and she was the least tame, but no biting, she scratched me here and there, but nothing serious. She had to be sedated at the dvm. I was the only one who could pick her up.

I understand how hard your situation is, so painful for both of you. It sounds like you need jackson galaxy.

I was scared I would have Merlin still biting me outside and having animal control come to take all the cats away etc. because at that point I had no clue if he would be able to be trained and now he seems to have calmed down quite a bit over time and lets me scruff him, after a while my family decided he can stay.

Someone here recommended scruffing him for something, I never thought that I would be able do it aftervhim actually biting me, but then I just did it instinctively at some point and he let me do it. At first I only did it with gloves on but now I can just do it anytime he’s doing something I don’t want him to do and he seems to get it. I don’t really pick him up at all though, sometimes I will just lift him up by the front legs a little bit to give him a kiss etc. and he doesn’t like that- he will sometimes lift a paw to swipe at me or something but I scruffed him when he did that earlier and he looked at me like OK I’m not supposed to do that. He also let me clip his front claws the other night which was amazing. Even with my feral kitten I had to wrap her in a towel and get help to clip her claws. He has also been able to be given an ultrasound with no sedation by the last dvm which was amazing too.

I am still worried about Quinn when they are back together and Merlin really comes in the house, he is back in isolation due to runs. They have not had any biting etc but quinn bites his neck and jumps on him to dominate, no wounds etc. Merlin just tolerates it mostly but he cries and then swipes at him etc.

🙏🏻 For a miracle for all of you
 
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bikeman

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Nice cat habitat! Won't work where we are, though, but that's pretty cool. What does the term "scruffing" mean? I have never heard of that regarding cats.

he's still here. Trying to spread the request for private adoption through friends' social media at work. And waiting for a hald dozen call backs from cat organizations. Got nowhere today with no-kill shelters out 50 miles radius. They just don't take cats that might bite or might not get along with other cats. I mean, heck, they all say take feral cats fresh off the street. Do they expect them all to be perfectly docile? I don't get it. I swear, I haven't given up yet.
 

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Nice cat habitat! Won't work where we are, though, but that's pretty cool
How much space do you have outside? It's quite easy to make your own catio, I can give you some tips if you like.

What does the term "scruffing" mean?
It's when you take hold of the fur and skin a the back of a cat's neck. Mother cats pick their kittens up that way. You should never attempt to pick up an adult cat that way, they weigh too much and you will hurt them. But you can scruff a cat to hold it down if it is going to attack another cat or a person. You need to be very careful doing this though. Even when scruffed cats can twist around and use their hind legs to scratch you. I don't recommend it unless you are wearing long sleeves and know the cat won't fight back.

I mean, heck, they all say take feral cats fresh off the street.
Some shelters have feral cat enclosures they can release ferals into. Others will spay, neuter and ear tip a feral cat before releasing it back where it was pcked up. Unfortunately most shelters that accept feral cats just euthanise them though.
 
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bikeman

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OK, scruffing, I guess I've heard of that, afterall. Lolli is about 17 pounds new (at 1.7 years, gads!), so that wouldn't work with him, as he could probably wrestle me to the ground if he really tried.

I'm old, and still working a 40 hour week, and have no skills or tools left at this stage in my life to construct anything better than a big cardboard box with a hole cut into it. That, and my wife would never go with an idea that bold, but would probably be most impressed and amused nevertheless if I could ever complete such a feat of engineering.
 

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OK, scruffing, I guess I've heard of that, afterall. Lolli is about 17 pounds new (at 1.7 years, gads!), so that wouldn't work with him, as he could probably wrestle me to the ground if he really tried.

I'm old, and still working a 40 hour week, and have no skills or tools left at this stage in my life to construct anything better than a big cardboard box with a hole cut into it. That, and my wife would never go with an idea that bold, but would probably be most impressed and amused nevertheless if I could ever complete such a feat of engineering.
Merlin is about 15 pounds but when I scruff I do not lift him, one it could hurt them, two he is too heavy. If you scruff and lift you need to lift by the bottom as well. I either just lift his front paws a bit or hold him to the ground. If I scruff Quinn and need to lift him I pick him up at the same time from his bottom etc. only when he gets very aggressive etc. He is a wacky siamese and goes bonkers at times. Nothing else has worked with him. So when he goes cray and bites me etc. in that mode I scruff him and spray, otherwise he goes more bonkers. Sometimes spraying alone is enough. Siamese are a breed apart and can be very dominant even to the top cat etc. their human.

I have also gently and briefly scruffed many of my kitties while I am clipping claws or something similar while they are in my lap etc. or on the floor etc. what I mean is I just do the motion without lifting them at all and it calms them briefly when doing something like that. When you scruff correctly their ears go back and they kind of stop what they are doing.

Some think scruffing is bad and same for spraying water but absolutely nothing else worked with Quinn with his wacko moods and when he was jumping on Sybil. For jumping on Syb the only thing that worked was isolation. And believe me we tried everything. I don’t recommend scruffing Lolli without gloves or lifting him etc. because he is much more scared and aggressive than Merlin I think. It worked with Merlin very well and pretty quickly too, after a few times he completely stopped nipping at me etc. and it hasn’t traumatized him at all. He actually seems to get it that this is something he is not supposed to do. And he wants to be led etc. You have to do it right as they do the behavior or they won’t know why you are doing it.
 
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I've seen Vets grab the scuff area and push a cat's head downwards to work on them or to help control a squirmy cat. But never pick up a cat that way.

Meanwhile... leads are coming in for adoption. None good yet - as in - they have cats and dogs (won't work), a young couple who had no other pets but was pregnant and would have a baby in the house in January. Wouldn't want to take a chance on that. Another has about 12 other cats (yeah, um no, that doesn't work either). The funniest so far was from a "Cat Shaman" who offered to not take Lolli, but would come over for free to give magical incantations to heal his evil spirits and make him whole and one with the cat world so he could be with other cats freely and without harm. Or somesuch. Oh, if that could only work!

I think she wanted to probably case the house for a contents list, come back and steal everything, and probably Lolli too. Come to think of it, that would solve the one too many cats problem.

Multiple friends have Lolli's story on their Facebook pages, I have a poster up at work in the break room, and also up on our town forum. Still hoping for a Christmas miracle.
 

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I've seen Vets grab the scuff area and push a cat's head downwards to work on them or to help control a squirmy cat. But never pick up a cat that way.

Meanwhile... leads are coming in for adoption. None good yet - as in - they have cats and dogs (won't work), a young couple who had no other pets but was pregnant and would have a baby in the house in January. Wouldn't want to take a chance on that. Another has about 12 other cats (yeah, um no, that doesn't work either). The funniest so far was from a "Cat Shaman" who offered to not take Lolli, but would come over for free to give magical incantations to heal his evil spirits and make him whole and one with the cat world so he could be with other cats freely and without harm. Or somesuch. Oh, if that could only work!

I think she wanted to probably case the house for a contents list, come back and steal everything, and probably Lolli too. Come to think of it, that would solve the one too many cats problem.

Multiple friends have Lolli's story on their Facebook pages, I have a poster up at work in the break room, and also up on our town forum. Still hoping for a Christmas miracle.
It would only be an emergency to lift them but even then too risky. That is great you’re getting so many inquiries even if none of them are good so far you can advertise on a lot of different sites too- there are many cat groups on Facebook. I think I would pass on that shaman 😹🤯

I am hoping so much something turns up soon and he’s going to find a good home.
 
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bikeman

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We have something, maybe a foster home, maybe.... will know more in 24 hours.
 

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Fantastic news! Fingers and paws crossed😻
 
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Another co-worker came through tonight with a very strong lead with a relative of theirs. Could become a backup plan. Lolli is behind me on the bed all stretched out and comfy and mostly silent. I am cherishing every moment I have with him before we have to give him up. Occasional bad behavior or not, I'm really really going to miss this guy.

Wishing everyone here and their kitties a wonderful Christmas and New Years.



short Lolli video:
 
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Meowmee

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Great to hear! Aww he is a cutie❤ I know how tough this is for you😿 But it is better than the alternatives.
 
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So, we're delayed a week on Lolli's transfer. The woman who wants Lolli is going out of town for a week. I wouldn't want Lolli to be with a substitute care giver after only one day at the new place. He's going to be confused enough with what's going to happen. I've only spoken to her on the phone. She also has 2 dogs and another male cat, 2.5 years old. Hmmm. This worries me that he might get combative, even after keeping him apart from the others for a spell. But, better than a kill shelter drop off? I think so. Yet, I want what's best for him. I think I'd worry no matter where he goes, even if he's the only animal in a house.
 

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So, we're delayed a week on Lolli's transfer. The woman who wants Lolli is going out of town for a week. I wouldn't want Lolli to be with a substitute care giver after only one day at the new place. He's going to be confused enough with what's going to happen. I've only spoken to her on the phone. She also has 2 dogs and another male cat, 2.5 years old. Hmmm. This worries me that he might get combative, even after keeping him apart from the others for a spell. But, better than a kill shelter drop off? I think so. Yet, I want what's best for him. I think I'd worry no matter where he goes, even if he's the only animal in a house.
Can you keep him until she can take him? Has he been around dogs at all? There is no way to know in advance how he will do unfortunately. Is she fostering him or adopting him?
 
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bikeman

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Dog? Dunno. He might have eaten some while he was growing up outside. Looks more like an adoption to me. Unless he doesn't work out there. I would ask Lolli about it, but he would just bunt his big head into my chest, and that doesn't really resolve anything. I'm puzzled, because she's read his bio, and my email. Perhaps she has a better plan than we did. I will have questions.
 

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Dog? Dunno. He might have eaten some while he was growing up outside. Looks more like an adoption to me. Unless he doesn't work out there. I would ask Lolli about it, but he would just bunt his big head into my chest, and that doesn't really resolve anything. I'm puzzled, because she's read his bio, and my email. Perhaps she has a better plan than we did. I will have questions.
Yes do an interview, get references from dvm etc and make a plan for if it doesn't work out. There are adoption forms to use online I think too. So sad you cant keep him but with a goodhome he will have a great life.
 
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Any adoption forms that we know of deep inside these forums? Liability waivers? I don't want to be sued (or less chance of being sued) if he nips the next caregiver, or harms another pet.
 
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