New cat Lolli, FIV positive, and our other 2 cats. Now what?

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bikeman

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You just want to neuter this guy and give some time for his hormones to leave his body, can be a few weeks.... then they should be fine. I wouldn't worry so much honestly. I would focus more on the care of an FIV positive cat. Since their immune system is weakened he needs to be in top health. Have the vet keep an eye on his teeth and gums bc he will eventually need cleanings and extractions.
Wise words, Thank you. We need stories like this as we move forward on how to handle the situation. Hopefully, it will all work out. If not, we'll need to find him another home somehow, which would be heartbreaking for us.
 

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Aww poor Ember, give her and jb extra attention. You might want to try a pheromone spray as well when they are all together. Good idea to limit and supervise their exposure. I hope it isn't too stressful for them.
 
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bikeman

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Aww poor Ember, give her and jb extra attention. You might want to try a pheromone spray as well when they are all together. Good idea to limit and supervise their exposure. I hope it isn't too stressful for them.
The Feliway spray is nearby. My wife doesn't like to use it until absolutely necessary. Bought it for Lolli. Might be better used near Ember, actually.
 

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My wife doesn't like to use it until absolutely necessary.
What is her reasoning behind that? It is a really helpful product to keep cats calm. The plug in might work better.
 

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The cat in my avatar was tested negative for FIV and FeLV when she was young, shortly before the spay surgery.
Well, 15 years later, before another surgery, she was tested again and was positive. That was like a stab to me, for all her life I thought she was negative, but it was the opposite.
Meanwhile she had lived the whole life with another cat who was tested negative at the beginning and kept being negative even when I tested her after this bad news.

The FIV cat later developed an oral carcinoma that made her bleed from time to time into her dishes.
The two cats had two separate sets of dishes, but they would swap them every now and then. This was when I feared that the healthy cat could become infected.
I tested her again, still negative.

The FIV cat eventually died from the carcinoma. For the following 15 months I kept testing the healthy cat every 4-5 months, and she was always negative.

So, though I'm sure the healthy cat came in contact with the infected food in the dishes, she never got FIV, despite the possible small wounds or scratches she could have had in her mouth or around her body.

I wonder if my healthy cat was very lucky or if FIV isn't that easy to catch.
 

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The Feliway spray is nearby. My wife doesn't like to use it until absolutely necessary. Bought it for Lolli. Might be better used near Ember, actually.
Sounds good. I have asthma so I don’t use it too much. I just spray Merlin’s areas and stuff occasionally. I do not recommend the diffusers because they have petrochemicals in them which are very bad to breath in like that. I tried the feliway one years ago and again with Syb and Quinn and it was ineffective and also made all of our asthma worse. Fortunately I was able to return it. There were also reviews which said they had caught on fire. I don’t even like breathing the spray in either to be honest but it seems to help vs the diffusers. It says to spray it on but don’t let the cats near it for 15 minutes. Just sitting in the studio is making me worse now, it is also Merlin's litter. For Quinn I have a cat genie with plastic litter. Merlin has a normal box 1st with okocat and now with sweatscoop and they are aggravating my asthma and all of my allergies. He has been having diarrhea etc. there is no other alternative right now. Clay is even worse for me.
 
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The best way to heal from the operation...



It has been 6 days since Lolli's operation (neuter). Hasn't been a happy guy lately. The pain killers were finished a couple days back, and he's been making whimpering noises and been generally frustrated navigating around with the cone. Ouch! He can't bunt up against us or corners; he makes a sound that is probably a cat swear word often.

Eating was a problem, but solutions were found. He wasn't drinking anything the first couple of days. We switched immediately to wet food. Drinking liquids worked with tuna water from tuna cans, diluted a bit. He was back to regular filtered water a couple days after that. He didn't poop for 3 full days, but finally did on the fourth day. We were worried about that. The pain medicine might have been responsible for the reluctance to use the box. Peeing (in the box) was never a problem.

The big cone comes off for feedings, and is replaced with a smaller soft cloth disk "cone." He absolutely does want to mess with his "junk," so we are careful to watch him.

He has been very low key lately, and that's good. Rest and low mobility will help the healing, and with the cone, he can't bother the other two as much. He's been a real docile and wonderful cat for at least ten days now. At night, Lolli is alone in his room (bathroom) so the other cats don't have to worry.

Next up, the cone comes off, he begins to free-feed, and his roaming privileges are greater. Yesterday he discovered we had a basement that we've been keeping secret from him. The look he gave my wife when that door opened was... almost human. He must have been wondering where Junebug and Ember's boxes were for the last month. He can wonder no longer. His will join those in a couple of weeks.

Lolli is very close to full house permissions. One more week to go.
 

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The best way to heal from the operation...



It has been 6 days since Lolli's operation (neuter). Hasn't been a happy guy lately. The pain killers were finished a couple days back, and he's been making whimpering noises and been generally frustrated navigating around with the cone. Ouch! He can't bunt up against us or corners; he makes a sound that is probably a cat swear word often.

Eating was a problem, but solutions were found. He wasn't drinking anything the first couple of days. We switched immediately to wet food. Drinking liquids worked with tuna water from tuna cans, diluted a bit. He was back to regular filtered water a couple days after that. He didn't poop for 3 full days, but finally did on the fourth day. We were worried about that. The pain medicine might have been responsible for the reluctance to use the box. Peeing (in the box) was never a problem.

The big cone comes off for feedings, and is replaced with a smaller soft cloth disk "cone." He absolutely does want to mess with his "junk," so we are careful to watch him.

He has been very low key lately, and that's good. Rest and low mobility will help the healing, and with the cone, he can't bother the other two as much. He's been a real docile and wonderful cat for at least ten days now. At night, Lolli is alone in his room (bathroom) so the other cats don't have to worry.

Next up, the cone comes off, he begins to free-feed, and his roaming privileges are greater. Yesterday he discovered we had a basement that we've been keeping secret from him. The look he gave my wife when that door opened was... almost human. He must have been wondering where Junebug and Ember's boxes were for the last month. He can wonder no longer. His will join those in a couple of weeks.

Lolli is very close to full house permissions. One more week to go.
Sounds like things are going very well, glad to hear it! Ollie is gorgeous, hope he feels better soon.
 
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Thank you! Lolli is making small progress every day. It is Ember and Junebug that are causing trouble. Junebug (pictured in the background above) has taken up territorial peeing in areas that Lolli feels comfortable being alone in. We knew there might be complications, but figured it would be all-out brawls. It is the psychological warfare that only cats can contemplate. Ember has swatted at Lolli for seemingly nothing at all, and Lolli backs off and hasn't (as yet) returned anything but hisses. Always thought she'd be the most peaceful cat on the planet, and her hidden bad side comes out. Oh, the drama, the drama. These three need their own YouTube channel.
 

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A youtube channel sounds good 😹 watch out for the pees, that can go on forever with a stressed cat, throw away everything she pees on. . For Syb, litter pans with wee pads helped. That is great there have not been any real fights. At our house the cat humping goes on, no sign of allowing new cat totally into the house on a constant basis. I am trying out cbd oil as well as the pheromones spray.
 
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^ good info. But I don't know what wee pads are. We're spending more time with pee kitty Junebug for now, to see if she calms down a bit. And we'll also find out how empowered Lolli is when the collar comes off in a week and he begins free-feeding. First on his own terms in his bowls upstairs, and later in the community feeding area. If he passes those tests (and he must), he will deserve a medal. More likely he'll get a treat out of the cat Advent calendar that we just got.
 

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^ good info. But I don't know what wee pads are. We're spending more time with pee kitty Junebug for now, to see if she calms down a bit. And we'll also find out how empowered Lolli is when the collar comes off in a week and he begins free-feeding. First on his own terms in his bowls upstairs, and later in the community feeding area. If he passes those tests (and he must), he will deserve a medal. More likely he'll get a treat out of the cat Advent calendar that we just got.
See description of wee pad below, they are training pads for puppies etc. but cats can use them too, Syb was trained to pee on paper so she took to wee pads very well. I had litter boxes with wee pads everwhere she was likely to pee. I get them at Costco usually. Syb has passed but I also use them for my outdoor cats when they are tnr etc.
 
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Well, here's an update on Lolli and our other cats, and us.

We need your help.


Lolli in a very chilled out moment

It has been 2.5 months since Lolli has been fixed. He hasn't calmed down one bit. The introductions to the other cats have not gone well, to say the least. There was a fight a while back, and Junebug got injured, badly.

We need to have this guy adopted out to another home as we have determined that he will never be able to mix with our cats, and most likely any other cats living in the same home. Our attempts to call cat shelters of all types around the Chicago area been met with either recorded messages that they are full up and not accepting any new cats, or won't be for many weeks or months. Most have not called back after a couple of weeks now.

We're pretty sure that he would fit well with someone who has multiple experiences with cats in the past, perhaps someone who has recently lost their only cat, has no other pets and no small children. He still has spirit and some wild in him. With me, at least, he is well controlled 98% of the time. Right now he is on my lap purring, his forehead is pushed into my stomach hiding the light from his eyes. So, not so wild.

We feel awful that we have to keep Lolli in a bedroom during the day and the bathroom at night alone. This is not a proper way for a cat to live, and I feel Lolli thinks we are more jailkeeps than pet owners to him. The stress this is causing to my wife is great since she is the one who looks after all the cats most of the time while I'm at work every day and night. It is breaking our hearts to separate him from the rest of his home. He's not happy, we're not happy, and the situation has become a mess. I love the guy dearly, but we can't keep him here.

What can we do beyond so called "no kill" cat shelters, if and when they ever become available to us? I have a belief in the back of my head that "no kill shelter" isn't the whole truth. We don't want to put him down ourselves, as I would have nightmares for the rest of my life even if that was our only last choice, which, unfortunately might have to happen if creative options don't open up.

We really really need to give this guy a new home. We have done what we could up to this point to keep him from dying outside in cruel Chicago winters.
 
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Meowmee

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Well, here's an update on Lolli and our other cats, and us.

We need your help.


Lolli in a very chilled out moment

It has been 2.5 months since Lolli has been fixed. He hasn't calmed down one bit. The introductions to the other cats have not gone well, to say the least. There was a fight a while back, and Junebug got injured, badly.

We need to have this guy adopted out to another home as we have determined that he will never be able to mix with our cats, and most likely any other cats living in the same home. Our attempts to call cat shelters of all types around the Chicago area been met with either recorded messages that they are full up and not accepting any new cats, or won't be for many weeks or months. Most have not called back after a couple of weeks now.

We're pretty sure that he would fit well with someone who has multiple experiences with cats in the past, perhaps someone who has recently lost their only cat, has no other pets and no small children. He still has spirit and some wild in him. With me, at least, he is well controlled 98% of the time. Right now he is on my lap purring, his forehead is pushed into my stomach hiding the light from his eyes. So, not so wild.

We feel awful that we have to keep Lolli in a bedroom during the day and the bathroom at night alone. This is not a proper way for a cat to live, and I feel Lolli thinks we are more jailkeeps than pet owners to him. The stress this is causing to my wife is great since she is the one who looks after all the cats most of the time while I'm at work every day and night. It is breaking our hearts to separate him from the rest of his home. He's not happy, we're not happy, and the situation has become a mess. I love the guy dearly, but we can't keep him here.

What can we do beyond so called "no kill" cat shelters, if and when they ever become available to us? I have a belief in the back of my head that "no kill shelter" isn't the whole truth. We don't want to put him down ourselves, as I would have nightmares for the rest of my life even if that was our only last choice, which, unfortunately might have to happen if creative options don't open up.

We really really need to give this guy a new home. We have done what we could up to this point to keep him from dying outside in cruel Chicago winters.
So sorry😿 I hope Junebug is ok. Maybe medication for him? I would try to advertise privately for a home for him. The other option is keep caring for him and a heated shelter outside if you can’t continue to isolate. 🙏🏻 For all of you.
 
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bikeman

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Junebug gets her stitches out in a few days if she has healed enough. I was thinking of posting a picture of her recent post surgery look, but it is very alarming and might be gross enough to get me banned.

One correction, it has been 1.5 months, and not 2.5 since he got fixed. Still, we can't for a second, let him near Junebug or Ember. My wife is of the opinion that local social media is not an option because of the possibility of personal liability if some new owner gets bit. I think that's a false assumption since all animals could bite under any array of circumstances and it would be up to the new owners to be responsible around him and aware of interaction difficulties. Heck, even old Ember has bit me in play fighting recently, and she's 16 and 99.9% docile. Bless her heart, she still has spirit in her.

Medication we've looked in to, but we're more convinced that he is one cat too many with our old girls, and their personal safety and comfort is far more important if they don't have to become ever fearful that Lolli is loose in the house.

Adopting him out has been what we've decided to do, if at all possible. In the best of worlds, he'd be peaceful around other animals, but that isn't the case. We had pretty high hopes in the beginning. Again, he'd be great as a solo cat around adults.

I fear for him returning to outside life. There's coyotes around (one was on our front porch recently) where his heated house was last winter. And we're on a busy street; he used to cross it several times a day. Neutered and house broken, he'd stand less of a chance out there now. With FIV, it really is a no-go, since that wouldn't be responsible putting other cats in danger of contracting that like he did.
 
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Meowmee

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Junebug gets her stitches out in a few days if she has healed enough. I was thinking of posting a picture of her recent post surgery look, but it is very alarming and might be gross enough to get me banned.

One correction, it has been 1.5 months, and not 2.5 since he got fixed. Still, we can't for a second, let him near Junebug or Ember. My wife is of the opinion that local social media is not an option because of the possibility of personal liability if some new owner gets bit. I think that's a false assumption since all animals could bite under any array of circumstances and it would be up to the new owners to be responsible around him and aware of interaction difficulties. Heck, even old Ember has bit me in play fighting recently, and she's 16 and 99.9% docile. Bless her heart, she still has spirit in her.

Medication we've looked in to, but we're more convinced that he is one cat too many with our old girls, and their personal safety and comfort is far more important if they don't have to become ever fearful that Lolli is loose in the house.

Adopting him out has been what we've decided to do, if at all possible. In the best of worlds, he'd be peaceful around other animals, but that isn't the case. We had pretty high hopes in the beginning. Again, he'd be great as a solo cat around adults.

I fear for him returning to outside life. There's coyotes around (one was on our front porch recently) where his heated house was last winter. And we're on a busy street; he used to cross it several times a day. Neutered and house broken, he'd stand less of a chance out there now. With FIV, it really is a no-go, since that wouldn't be responsible putting other cats in danger of contracting that like he did.

I am glad she is ok. Don’t think a pick would ban you. It makes a lot of sense not to stress them out and their safety comes first. Such a heartbreaking situation. Maybe someone with a factory etc type situation who wants a mouser? Or just a single cat household with someone who is experienced with not totally tame cats. I am not sure about the liability. It is prolly ok if you advise them of everything and have them sign a release etc.
 
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Well, we have unfortunately run out of time. Shelters are still full and won't call us back, we have reached out to friends and their friends, and people at work that have experience with feral and ex-ferals, and... nothing. Lolli bit my wife in the back of the leg pretty bad this morning, unprovoked, and she's now too afraid of him to do anything more. He has not been that way with me. Unless a miracle happens, we are having him put down tomorrow morning. Absolutely the last option and against any values I hold dear. I think this is going to cause me nightmares that will last the rest of my life, as I've never had to put down a beautiful healthy animal, and hope to never ever again.
 

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Well, we have unfortunately run out of time. Shelters are still full and won't call us back, we have reached out to friends and their friends, and people at work that have experience with feral and ex-ferals, and... nothing. Lolli bit my wife in the back of the leg pretty bad this morning, unprovoked, and she's now too afraid of him to do anything more. He has not been that way with me. Unless a miracle happens, we are having him put down tomorrow morning. Absolutely the last option and against any values I hold dear. I think this is going to cause me nightmares that will last the rest of my life, as I've never had to put down a beautiful healthy animal, and hope to never ever again.
So sorry😿. I would let him back out with shelter, he wont bite you outside and he can live for years that way. I have several living happily outside for years now. One is fiv plus also. He was obviously not meant to be inside and should be released. The only other thing I can think of is there may be other health issues etc. but my guess is he can’t live inside which is ok
 
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