New cat attacked my son! Need help!

[newkittyperson]

Hi everyone, I'm a new kitty mommy with a serious problem on my hands.

We recently adopted a rescue cat. Of course there is minimal information about her background so I don't have a lot to go on. The vet guessed her to be a year old, spayed (but she's had at least one litter), terrified, and commented on her possible breed mix as being Lynx Siamese (or something like that) and Abyssinian because of her ticked fur, marking on forehead, black-bottomed feet and blue eyes. She is quite a stunning creature...with some fear or anger management issues!

She has twice now attacked my 10 year old son. The first time it happened he was laying on his stomach on the floor and she was sitting facing him about 24" away. He was saying her name and reached out to pet her when she swatted at him and then rushed him growling. I got between them standing and she growled at me. My son got up and retreated to a chair across the room and she actually stalked him to chair as I again tried to get between them with a blanket. I finally did and simply stood there until she backed off. She didn't approach him further, but kept an eye on his every movement for the rest of the night.

Today she attacked again!

We taught our son after last episode to a) not reach out to her; b) let her just get used to him - call her name, be still around her if she approaches, let her sniff but NO touching her. We had also made sure not to leave them alone in same room, and then tonight! I saw her approach my son as he laid on the floor watching tv...cautiously. She sniffed his hair and I told him to stay still, let her sniff hair. She then touched her nose to his forehead and startled him so he kind of sat up on an elbow. She sat and he called her name. She then backed up and literally flung herself paws extended, claws out at his face! She managed to scratch his hand and eyebrow as he covered his eyes and sat upright. She actually launched herself at his face without a sound. She then ran and jumped up to her spot on the couch and laid down, tail twitching. As I tended to my near hysterical son, my husband came in, scooped her up and put her in the bathroom. We kept her there until he went to bed. She is fine now, calm, seeking petting and love!?

I witnessed the whole thing and now my son wants her gone. She's only been with us for two weeks and I know she was a live trap catch. She was assessed at shelter and didn't show this side - this aggression. It seems to be at odds with her LOVE of being held and petted and carried, so I'm at a loss to understand this behaviour. And my son was already feeling hurt he couldn't reach out and pet her when this happens

Please help!

 

[joseph watson]

Well this is very sad and you should discuss this problem with a vet. The only way to save this from happening again is that you should never leave her alone with your boy.   Discuss safe behavior with your children and teach him how to defend against cat attacks. Your boy is now grownup as he is 10, not so small to defend himself against a cat attack. Aggression in cats can be caused by fear, pain, over-stimulation (petting or play) or is redirected annoyance and frustration induced, for example, by the cat observing a strange neighborhood cat trespassing on its territory through a closed window. A child yanking repeatedly on a cat’s tail would qualify in the plain old annoyance category.

 

[datagrrl]

Does he play with her a lot? Have you tried felliway diffuser or spray? Is she the only cat? I use both Feliway diffuser and composure treats.adjusting to a new home is stressful.

I find that playing hard for a long time then giving a treat seems to really help with our aggression/attacking issues. I have a kitten, so we have to play for almost an hour twice a day. A lot more work than I realized.


I watch a lot of My Cat from Hell, which my husband hates. A lot of the cats on there are similar to yours. The key seems to play and lots of vertical surfaces with no dead ends. We built a cat tree this weekend and are seeing a marked difference in behavior since then.

I would watch a couple episodes regarding people aggressive cats and do the homework he assigns to the people.

He may be older, but your son is probably hurt that the cat isn't what he expected. My 9 yo daughter is that way. She wanted a pal and this crazy thing is not what she signed up for.

Building trust is hard. You can't know where she has been. Mine is only a kitten, but I know she was born to a feral mom.

I think this could be worth it for you, if you can get through this. My daughter loves my cat from hell and she has learned a lot.

Does the cat have free roam of the house? Maybe you can scale her back to one room.

I am probably not the best person for advice, but maybe a couple comments will draw people to this thread and you will get more.

 

[the3rdname]

Does he play with her a lot? Have you tried felliway diffuser or spray? Is she the only cat? I use both Feliway diffuser and composure treats.adjusting to a new home is stressful.

I find that playing hard for a long time then giving a treat seems to really help with our aggression/attacking issues. I have a kitten, so we have to play for almost an hour twice a day. A lot more work than I realized.


I watch a lot of My Cat from Hell, which my husband hates. A lot of the cats on there are similar to yours. The key seems to play and lots of vertical surfaces with no dead ends. We built a cat tree this weekend and are seeing a marked difference in behavior since then.

I would watch a couple episodes regarding people aggressive cats and do the homework he assigns to the people.

Seconding all the advice here.  From what you've recounted, it kind of sounds like the cat was startled by your son's sudden movements.  Semi-ferals are easily triggered by anything that could be perceived as a threat.  If I were you, I would have a heart-to-heart with son and explain where kitty's behavior is coming from, that she's had a rough start in life and doesn't yet understand that people aren't going to hurt her, and that it's crucial to use slow, fluid movements and soft voices around the cat until she learns to trust everyone.  I would see it as a good teaching opportunity.  The most rewarding things in life always come at the cost of a lot of hard work, patience and perseverance.  

About the vertical space, adding a cat tree of substantial height was a *huge* help when a feral kitten (5 mos.)  I'd rescued was displaying some aggressive behavior towards the resident cat.  She instantly claimed it as her own (poor resident kitty had to have a little patience and wait a bit before new kitty would let her play on the tree) and there was an immediate marked improvement in her temperament.  Cats (most, anyway) need to be up high where they can survey their territory and observe goings-on.  It calms them down and gives them a sense of security.

Jackson Galaxy (the "My Cat from Hell" guy) recommends at least 15 minutes of interactive play a day, usually with wand toys.  Da Bird is pretty much well-received by all cats, and mine are particular fans of the Cat Catcher (a little mouse on a wire).  Just remember to put wand toys, or anything with a string, away out of kitty's reach when you're done playing.  Interactive play is a great way to bond with a new cat (or an old cat!) and it gets all that excess energy out safely so they won't be as prone to play aggression.

My Cat from Hell is on Animal Planet Saturdays 8 PM EST.  If you have On Demand, you can watch the first few episodes of the new season (looks the first episode is only available until the 24th).  

 

[di and bob]

I had a cat like this and her aggression was from over stimulation. She could only be stroked once or twice, that was it, and would attack when more was tried. I'm afraid your cat may be like that. My cat allowed me to touch her more then most, but would still scratch me at times. You just have to teach your son to watch closely for signs of agitation, swishing tail(big one), dilated eyes, growling, or bristling fur. Once you know the signs you should just back off and walk away. There are a lot of animals like this, so it would be a good thing for your son to learn anyway. Good luck, and keep us posted!

 

[datagrrl]

Maybe I will follow this advice and play with my kitten less. I am never able to really wear her out.

 

[artem]

I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this post but I really don't think you can keep this cat if it is attacking your son.  It's only been a few weeks, so certainly try fixing the problem first (you've received lots of good suggestions on here as to how), but no, your kid is not going to "learn a lesson" through keeping an aggressive cat.  All he's going to learn is how to hate cats.  I know you love this cat, and seem like an awesome pet guardian, but your human son should be the priority and he has the right not to be terrified in his own home.  Maybe this cat just needs to be in a home without children, particularly if it is only your son who is being attacked.  There are plenty of cats who are perfectly affectionate with adults but freaked out by kids.  Maybe call in a behaviorist (like Jackson Galaxy) and see if there's anything that you can do.  Maybe see if your vet thinks anti-anxiety meds would help.  You can definitely try to solve this problem, but I'm honestly a bit surprised to see so many people advocating for you to keep this cat no matter what.  You can't honestly expect a ten year old to be constantly on guard.  Look, I'm all for responsible pet ownership and would certainly advocating keeping and working with a cat with most issues, but attacking your son is not okay.  It's not even just your kid who is at risk, but any friends he may bring over.  You can't rehome your son and, honestly, your cat might also be happier in a quieter home.  There are plenty of affectionate, loving cats out there who are safe around children.

 

[furmonster mom]

I understand what you're saying @Artem, but I don't agree 100%. 

One of my favorite cats I remember from my childhood was a feral that my mom had caught and brought home.  I remember my mom telling me how we had to be patient and calm, how I should not scare him with sudden movements, how I should let him hide if he wanted to... all the stuff we encourage for socialization.  It took a couple years, and more than a few scratches, but he became the most loveable and social cat... even guests that came to our house couldn't believe he had been feral.  The feeling of astonishment and accomplishment when he finally jumped into my lap was overwhelming.  I will always remember that.  It was a great lesson in patience and how to interact with animals.  And obviously I did not grow up to become a cat-hater.

Now.. I will say that my experience may not be typical.  A LOT of it was how my mother handled the mis-steps along the way.  My mom was more of a practical person, and she always tried to explain things from the cat's point of view.  She was also emphatic that WE were the ones who needed to be on guard and be responsible for our actions (even if it didn't seem like we'd done anything wrong).  WE were the ones that needed to be careful around the nervous and fearful cat.  Her lessons on this subject have stood me well over the years.

My grandmother's cat was always afraid of children, but since I had learned to be patient with animals, I accepted that.  She finally warmed up to me after a couple years, after I had grown beyond my childhood.

I had a friend with a "demon kitty".  This cat would swipe at people for no apparent reason, even just walking by her could set her off.  However, once we were all seated, she became a little love dove.  So I would give her a wide berth, and unless she decided to come to me I never reached into her personal space.  She never completely warmed up to me, but she didn't really seem to harbor any animosity either.  After I learned about the many personality changes that can occur in declawed cats, a few things clicked.  She had been declawed, and due to botched jobs had to go back for it twice more (3 times total).  No wonder she was always such a grumpy guss.

And that is where I understand what @Artem is saying.  Some cats will just always have a reaction to certain situations or because of their backgrounds.  It's up to each family to decide how they are going to handle it.  For some, that level of patience is just not going to work out (busy lifestyles, etc.,.).  But for those willing to take on the challenge, it can be extremely rewarding.

 

[the3rdname]

 
I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this post but I really don't think you can keep this cat if it is attacking your son.  It's only been a few weeks, so certainly try fixing the problem first (you've received lots of good suggestions on here as to how), but no, your kid is not going to "learn a lesson" through keeping an aggressive cat.  All he's going to learn is how to hate cats. 

Rehoming should definitely be a consideration (a last resort, IMO).  I did want to point out that the kid is 10, and therefore old enough to intellectually process the situation without being scarred for life.  If the kid was 5, then I could see your point (of course semi-ferals don't belong in homes with young children, so that ought to be a non-starter).  Their son is plenty old enough to grasp the kitty's perspective and develop empathy for it.  Again, this is just me, but I see another important life lesson in the works about empathy, putting yourself in another's shoes, learning not to take others' behavior personally.  Animals are such magnificent teachers.  And someday the kid may encounter a difficult boss, and rather than quit on the spot or develop anxiety issues, he'll realize that he can approach the situation analytically and employ healthy coping mechanisms.  All because of a crazy cat he once knew as a kid.

 

[datagrrl]

I am not sure anyone is saying keep the cat no matter what. That decision is up to the OP.

Attacking your son is unacceptable. Lots of people train that out of cats. Some cats are rotten, but I believe most are scared. I would try some of the suggestions for two weeks, but I would also contact the shelter. They may have suggestions or be willing to rehome him.

I only made these suggestions because I think most rescue animals have an adjustment period longer than you expect.

I have worked in shelters and heard numerous stories about the anima not being the same at home as when they saw them at the shelter.

I am not suggesting her son live in fear of a family pet given free run, but I am suggesting giving this cat a chance.

I totally understand not having the time or energy to deal with this. In that case I would call the shelter. They should be understanding about the issue.

 

[newkittyperson]

Hello everyone,

Thank you for suggestions and advice! I have been feeling upset about this all day and worried.

I put a lot of work into helping the new rescue adjust to out home and family these past two weeks. Seeking advice from shelter, talking to vet, getting bigger litter box, new toys and tunnels and beds...tried Bach Flower (rescue Remedy and Vine, for aggression), got some Feliway wipes...taught my son NOT TO TOUCH the cat nor play with her (just let us adults play with her for now). And sadly that encompasses many of the suggestions in this thread!

An ankle swat or hand scratch is one thing, but she went for his face! If he'd been slower to react, his eye and rest of face would have been injured quite badly. It was scary to watch!

I thought about it all might after I posted here. Read lots of other threads on aggression and behaviours. It dawned on me that she is highly motivated for food, even "begging" at the table, so I asked my son to help me feed her this morning. She was wary, but looked past him at the food tin! I'm hoping this will help if she associates him with food and a yummy treat. We also let her explore his room, sniff his belongings, when he is not home.

We brought this rescue cat across the country to a new, loving home, so taking her back or to a new, local shelter is a struggle of conscious as we had and still have the best of intentions and really do want a cat sharing our home (our dog died a year ago and a little stray cat -who actually belonged to someone- convinced us we were ready to open our hearts again).

 

[furmonster mom]

One thing to remember is that cats (and other animals) can smell the pheromones we give off when we are anxious/nervous/distressed/fearful and they may react to that.  Trying to control those emotions can be challenging. 

Breath slowly and evenly, slow your heartbeat, relax, and exude calm. 

Try the blinking trick; blink your eyes slowly and calmly at the kitty.  It's a signal of ease and trust.

Not an easy thing to teach kids, I know, but worth a try.

 

[nurseangel]

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to your son and know it was scary for both of you.  Daisy, pictured in my avatar, attacked me twice when we first rescued her.  She was scared of sudden movement and loud noises.  Once I was getting ice from the refrigerator ice maker and she came after me.  Another time, she attacked the Dust Buster while I was vacuuming, though she didn't direct this at me.  The worst time came when I was playing with my boy, Speck, and she attacked me.  Speck, the gentlest creature on earth, bowed up like a Halloween cat and jumped in between us, taking the brunt of the attack.  The reason I am going into all this is because I understand how you feel and there is hope.  I was actually afraid in my own home and I'm a grown woman.  It took time, but Daisy turned sweet and loving.  I did use the Feliway plug-ins, which are a little expensive, but IMHO worth it.  Now days, Daisy is happy.  She doesn't meet a stranger - from guests in my home to the heating and air repairman, she won't rest until they've acknowledged her.  I am fairly certain that she was abused by a man before we took her in - she used to hate my cat-whisperer husband, even though it was me she was attacking.   Please don't give up on your cat.  For whatever reason, she may be scared of your son.  Even though he hasn't done anything to her, it's always possible she had a bad experience with another child in the past.  There's a lot of excellent advice here and I really hope it helps.  The blinking idea mentioned above is great; I often half-close and then completely shut my eyes at my cats and they do it back.  I call it squinching, though that's not really a word.  And I think your idea about having your son help feed your cat is genius.  The way to most cats hearts seems to be through their stomachs.  

 

[datagrrl]

I guess I glossed over the fact that it was his face in the original post. I also wasn't sure what you already tried.

Our treat at home is baby food, specifically the Gerber second foods chicken and gravy. My daughter will play with the cat for fifteen minutes, then feed a teaspoon of the baby food. After that our crazy scared kitten calms down a lot.

I don't know if it will work for you, but it has worked for our semi feral.

I definitely don't think the cat's behavior is acceptable. I wish more people with experience would respond. I don't have a ton of experience.

 

[jcat]

His lying on the floor seems to be triggering the behavior, so for the time being, in addition to feeding her, it might help if he stays up off the floor. That's not only safer for him, but she may relax more around him and forget about stalking him. Two weeks isn't a long time for her to adjust, so it's probably worthwhile giving it a bit more time, provided he's careful around her.

Our last cat, whom we got at 10 weeks of age and who hadn't been exposed to children before, would slap our niece and nephew on their faces with claws withdrawn if he saw one of them sitting next to me. We made sure they didn't do that when he was in the room, and he stopped what we thought might be jealous behavior. He was fine with them as long as they weren't right next to me. Once they were starting puberty he wanted to be affectionate with them, but sadly they were already too wary of him.

 

[mycatwasthebest]

His lying on the floor seems to be triggering the behavior, so for the time being, in addition to feeding her, it might help if he stays up off the floor. That's not only safer for him, but she may relax more around him and forget about stalking him. Two weeks isn't a long time for her to adjust, so it's probably worthwhile giving it a bit more time, provided he's careful around her.

Our last cat, whom we got at 10 weeks of age and who hadn't been exposed to children before, would slap our niece and nephew on their faces with claws withdrawn if he saw one of them sitting next to me. We made sure they didn't do that when he was in the room, and he stopped what we thought might be jealous behavior. He was fine with them as long as they weren't right next to me. Once they were starting puberty he wanted to be affectionate with them, but sadly they were already too wary of him.

I think it was your CAT that reached puberty so he didn't want to attack the little human kittens...honestly the op's cat seems like she was playing more than "attacking", and if that's the case not having everyone watching her every move would probably help...I might be the only one, but I think your son SHOULD play with your cat, but in a vertical position. He should be taught and coached how to react if she attacks his legs (he should be wearing jeans of course), and then he will not only be teaching her but bonding with her (and vice-versa).

you never know when she might save him from a neighbor's dog

 

[mycatwasthebest]

Maybe I will follow this advice and play with my kitten less. I am never able to really wear her out.

I don't think that is what was meant,,, I think she meant actual  "touching". That is how my cat was.

so u play with your kitten a solid 45 minutes and she still wants to play more?

that IS a lot of energy

 

[datagrrl]

Yeah, I am going to have great arms by the end of summer

 

[jcat]

mycatwasthebest Hardly, since the behavior stopped once each child reached puberty - the cat was 5 years old when our nephew did, and 9 when our niece did.

Without actually seeing the interaction between the OP's son and cat, it's difficult to say whether the cat is aggressive, playful, fearful or any combination thereof.

 

[quiet]

HI.

Hope things are going better for you and your cat. If not.

The cat is new. In a new place and establishing herself into your lives and also learning her place and her space. The cat for the most part is on the floor. People are on the floor but only their feet most of the time. No one's face is on the floor right? Well, except for your son's face the two times he was slapped or scratched. The face has these things called eyes and eyes and body language are how cats communicate with other cats. Your son cannot control his pupil size but that is a big thing with cats. Lets say for example that your son is laying on the floor. He is watching tv so maybe the room is dark except for the tv lights or something. Your cat is watching him because to your cat there is now a face in her space and she needs this face to know that this is her space. Not the face's. Your son the face does not respond the way he should by retreating or blinking or whatever it is that would be proper cat response. Instead your son the face starts to make a noise. Now we don't even know that after two weeks she even knows her name. So face makes noise. Maybe face's eyes dilate. To cat that means face is saying that it will not leave cat's space, cat's space will now be face's space and cat will have to leave. (just guessing at what could be going on in the cat's head) So cat defends cat's space from face by attacking face. Hope that makes sense.

What I am saying here is that people have to remember that cats do not think like people no matter how much we would like them to. They are cats. They think and communicate like cats. Some cats are super adaptable and will attempt to communicate with people like people but I fear they are usually misunderstood.

My advice is get your son off the floor or get your cat out of the room. No more looking directly at the cat. Watch the tail. The tail tells allot. If you see twitching or rapid waving of the tail calmly direct the cat out of the room and into a place that has her litter pan and water. Use food to get her attention. Once the cat is out of the room close the door and leave her in there until a much quieter time. Never take cat from anywhere to do anything with her if it isn't an emergency. Figure out what can be her space. Get her a tall stable cat tree where she can watch everything from above and learn about faces.

Good luck. As for your son he will be fine so long as he realizes that the cat isn't mad at him she is afraid and defending her space and also that animals don't communicate like people.