I hadn't read this post when I wrote mine about him having wings now. It seems very fitting that the cat statue with wings be next to his urn. He will always be near you.
It will. And having a cat doesn't mean you can't travel. Since you run a cleaning business you should have an ear to the ground for potential stellar cat sitters endorsed by Mary Poppins. It really is one day at a time Kelly. Sometimes minute by minute. We had our first really good day yesterday. Over two months before we had some time where we felt like us again. And again it's if and when you're ready to bring a new cat into your life.
Thank you. I guess time will decide.
Aww, Margd, silly,
The sight of the empty gray bed with pink lining just hit me very hard. I am so used to seeing Angel in it. Angel touched us all, so deeply - he was such a very special boy. You have handled all this with such grace and strength, it's been a real inspiration. It's very good to see you still here on the site.
Thank you.
Dearest Kelly, I know we have never met in the real world, but in following your journey with Angel, I feel as if I know you, because we have shared some of the same experiences. I am so very sorry for your loss, and I grieve with you. I know you are wrecked with a lot of conflicting emotions right now, and that is natural. You feel guilt over having to put him down, I felt the same way when cancer and severe respiratory distress forced me to put my sweet Midnight to sleep. But Kelly, know that you did a wonderful thing for Angel. You ended his suffering. You sacrificed your own feelings to let him go to the Rainbow Bridge, where he will never hurt again. That is true courage, and if I was there right now in your home, I would give you a great big hug.
Angel was an important part of your life. Grieve for him. Cry, yell out in frustration, pound the wall. Hold a favorite toy or a blanket with his scent on it. I did all that and more after letting Midnight go. You are experiencing the stages of grief, as I did. People who have never been emotionally attached to a pet as we are with our furry babies will never realize that we mourn over them in the same way that others mourn over a person. There is truly no difference in that regard. We are grieving over a loved one. It matters not if it is a person or a cat. The pain, the sadness, the emptiness--it is still the same.
Angel is finally free of the pain. You gave him that precious gift. He loved you for all it was worth, and he accepted you as his mommy. He blessed your life; you blessed his just as well. One day, the two of you will meet again. And when you do, it will be glorious. My thoughts, lover, and prayers to you, Miss Kelly. Angel eternal.
I went out for the first time yesterday. I had some pictures of him printed out at CVS, & went to Hobby Lobby for scrapbook paper. My mom went with me. I was fine. It's just weird coming home to an empty place, where he's not there to greet me, or for me to go seek out & smother with kisses! Friday is my once a month client, so thought that would be good to get back into the routine of doing, then still have the weekend. I have also needed this time off, because the last two months have been exhausting. I have been sleeping in when I can, & it's been nice. Needed!
It will. And having a cat doesn't mean you can't travel. Since you run a cleaning business you should have an ear to the ground for potential stellar cat sitters endorsed by Mary Poppins. It really is one day at a time Kelly. Sometimes minute by minute. We had our first really good day yesterday. Over two months before we had some time where we felt like us again. And again it's if and when you're ready to bring a new cat into your life.
His crate and beds are hurting no one if they aren't hurting you. My rule has been is my behavior harming my husband, our other pets, finances. Am I getting the necessary things in life done every day. I will take care of myself. I believe it has been a major factor in avoiding a major bout of depression. Going out the first few times was like a system shock. Coming home will be awful. Just prepare yourself for it. We go out once a week to eat now. Because we need new rituals.
Yes, I agree, you have to do what feels right to you. I am just letting that dictate for now. His tree is still up as well, on the other side of the entertainment center.My babies all shared everything - toys, beds, bowls, etc. So whenever one passed, it just meant one less critter was using it. But, they all had their "spots" that they claimed, ironically enough. The top of the bed was always Lucky's spot. The boys weren't really allowed, although they would sneak up there when he was sleeping. I'd wake up draped in black and white kitties! Then there was the spot on the floor near my bathroom. The floor there was always warm, and Lucky was always there. One day, Oscar and now Oliver took it over. I still have to do a double-take when I see a black and white ball of fluff.
The only physical stuff I have that was truly just Lucky's were his meds. I still keep the bottle of methimazole that has his name on it and just pour Sara's into that one, because I can't stand the idea of throwing it away. All the pill bottles with his name on them, I still have. One day, I'll get rid of them. Just not yet.
And of course the can his cremains are in. They're on the same shelf as the meds. I've debated getting an urn but just can't afford it yet. Sara and Maple have medical bills that need paying. So, one day perhaps. Probably not though, knowing me.
One day you will find another fur-baby that you will fall in love with. I don't think it's an "if" because you just have way too much love in your heart. You may, or may not, decide to use the same beds and toys that Angel used. Somehow though, I'm thinking not. I say that because even when I get a new kitty, I feel a need to get some new thing for them. When the kittens came along, I got a new cat tree. All of the kitties have loved it. It just feels right to do that.
I might have a few ... or maybe I'd be inspired to writeDoes that mean you have some to share? :bigwink:
Okaaaay, I'm going to remember that. May be coming soon......I might have a few ... or maybe I'd be inspired to write
Ohhh, that wanting to smell our cats on their bedding. Yes, I remember doing that as well, and then the smell faded, and couldn't anymore, too.Thank you, & no, it doesn't sound crazy at all! You must have been picking up my energy, both thinking of Angel, because I had a good little cry last night too. I wanted to smell him on his beds, but couldn't anymore.He used to always have a sweet smell to him, I used to say it was because he was SOO sweet on the inside, (like cotton candy, sounds weird, but seriously!) I could smell it on the outside. But towards the end, he just didn't have that anymore. I know it was because of the cancer.
I have them stacked, ready to wash, & put away up in a closet somewhere. I just can't get rid of them, besides they are nice beds, & had the thought of IF & when another one comes along, I would have them.
..........BUT, a part of me also isn't sure if I could do that, because they were HIS bed's, ya know??? Maybe by then, I will be okay w/ it, as it will probably be a long time from now.
Here they are, also, that little sculpture of the cat w/ angel wings there on the shelf to the left, is one I found at habitat one day last year, I think it was. When I finally pick out & get an urn, I will place it next to it as well.
So weird for that bottom shelf to be empty. That's where his basket FULL of toys & brushes sat. I also put that tall vase there beside the shelf to put his wand toys in, as they fit better there, & then didn't get tangled in the basket anymore. Since his litter box was a long under the bed storage box, after I dumped & cleaned it, (which I did every 2 wks anyway) I put all of the toys, & brushes in there, & put it under my bed, along w/ his new carrier.
"Sounds like a crafting weekend is coming!"
How funny my first shopping trip not for necessities was to Hobby Lobby for scrapbook supplies and picture frames.
I found this adorable frame. Seemed perfect for my birdwatcher.
So cute! Love the frame. Yes, "purrrrrfect!"I found this adorable frame. Seemed perfect for my birdwatcher.
I remember my RB kitty, Ghost, always smelled like baby powder. I loved sniffing him. He slept with me and it was really rough when his scent was gone. I even put some actual baby powder on my bed but it just wasn't the same. Now when I smell a soft baby powder scent I always know he's near me.
(Hey, Kelly, just a little bit of silly humour, to get you to smile. You know how you mentioned winning the lottery on your last thread, and then going around to all the global members and giving out hugs.
Well, I was just thinking "when," and not "if" you do, ..could you perhaps win mega, mega millions?? My idea is that you can still come out and give the hugs, but at the same time you can fly us all out to some tropical island, like Hawaii or Bermuda, and we can all meet up there. Sure, it might cost more... but seeing as mega millions are in the future, its do-able....Okay, brilliant idea of mine, is over.
Now getting back to the real world.)
It's good to pay off your care credit, and travel, or do whatever you have to, and just have some time to re-energize and recoup, because it might not feel like it right away, but you're still adjusting to not having Angel around, and dealing with all those emotions, that sometimes just seem to hit out of the blue.
Ohhh, that wanting to smell our cats on their bedding. Yes, I remember doing that as well, and then the smell faded, and couldn't anymore, too.
(I actually get comfort in seeing the things that used to belong to my rainbow cats, too, but I guess everyone is different. And it does not bring me sadness, because I remember how they loved sleeping there, or using/playing with the toy. I love the fact that another one of my cats would enjoy using that bed, or playing with a particular toy.)
There was this little toy, on your bottom shelf, some kind of teddy/dog with a huge smile on their face, that always made me smile, when I saw it. And that little white bunny, from your 'Angel adopting you' story, that one looks so cute, too. I guess all those things hold good memories, too.