My Poor Mc :(

[Leomc123]

Hi Everyone

Today i am sad to say that my poor MC was euthanized 10.50 am on the 30th March 2019. This is 3 months after i have already put Leo down this year. And i am so upset and angry and depressed because two of my buddies is gone now And it feels so empty. She was old and she was with me for around 19 years, and she was suffering from liver failure. I will miss her and leo forever, they were the best friends i had and now i have no one and i feel so lonely

Here is a picture of MC on her good days.

 

[kittyluv387]

She was a beautiful girl. I know it must hurt so much to lose them back to back. So sorry.

 

[Jcatbird]

I am so sorry. I know it is very painful. The emptiness is hard but please know that you are not alone. We will be here to keep you company as you work your way through this. She is a beautiful kitty and you gave her a lot of love in the time she was with you. 19 is quite a long time for a kitty so you took excellent care of her. Losing Leo too must be very hard. They are together now though. You said they were close. I think that it often happens that loved ones pass close together. When my daughter left me a few years ago , almost everyone thought I would follow her. The pain certainly made me feel like it but it just wasn’t my time. The loss was the most painful thing I could have imagined. Somehow we do keep going. I’m glad now that I did. Your MC looks like my daughter’s kitty. I was struck when I saw the photos. After Sarah died I still had to take care of her kitty and before terribly long a little lost kitten appeared in my yard on a cold winter night. I wasn’t able to sleep that night because of having my daughter on my mind. I sometimes wonder if she had something to do with that kitten showing up when it did. The kitten didn’t take away my pain but it did get my mind busy on another living thing. Her cat and the kitten kept my heart open when I couldn’t feel anything but pain. I can’t take your pain away. If I could, I would. I can offer you a part of my heart and the support of a friend. You are not alone, you have everyone here. Write again if you need to or want to. I’ll check back.

 

[Leomc123]

I am 100 % sure that both of my cats died of Toxins, i keep telling my parents not to use Ammonia , mothballs and pinoclean with bleach in the house and outside of the house, and they keep ****ing doing it. They both started drooling at the start when they got sick. My father is stupid because he put mothballs hanging around the trees to scare birds away which i told him to remove it because its dangerous and wont work and they kept dropping on the floor, and then i told him to not open the clothes with mothballs in the back yard cause mc will eat it but he did it anyways. Then he puts 1 tone of tea tree solution on his head and everywhere else in the house, which is toxic. Then i told my mother and father 1 million times dont use amonia or chemicals when cleaning the laundry and in the shower or outside cause it will kill my cat, but they did it anyways. They even use chemicals in the front and back porch where Leo and MC stayed. And now they are sitting there looking happy that now my cats are gone for good. They are so quick to suggest putting the cat down instead of helping the animals, leo was 13 years old and they were like he is old , you should put him down. And now MC is 19 years old and instantly they are like you should put her down. My parents are narcissistic people. Today when i put MC down, all my father could do was talk about his poor mother which died 8 years ago, (which he forced me to feed her everyday in the aged care facility to show me how people dies of cancer and then i had to listen to him talk about it every single day for 8 years. ) and then to tell me how sick of it all he is that he has to put the cat down even though its my cat, and while i am grieving all he could do was stand there and lecture me about why you should not have a cat. Then my mum calls on the phone to star a fight with me about my decision to take Mcs body home. And the vets were looking at me like WTF is wrong with your parents. When i come home, then first thing out of my mothers mouth is now you can stop going outside and she is old and lecture lecture. And my dad is like how can you not look after the cat. Well when i do try and take her to the vet they make a big stink about it how it cost so much money even though im paying for it and that i should let the cats be. I have to argue with them that the animal is suffering , but they rather MC and leo sat there suffering instead of helping her or they rather put her down. All they care about is how they feel and how it affects them. They think i am there to stand there and talk to them only, i come home from work and then i have to stand there for 1 hour talking about rubbish every day when i have back pain , leg pain even when i had 4 operations bleeding to death they expect me to stand there and talk to them while they sit on their ass. Since the age of 40 they have been crying that they are old and diein. Even when my sister comes over, i cannot get a conversation with her, because my parents wont let me have a conversation with her because its all about them. You cant even talk to them cause all they do is bicker and fight, whinge complain and they get jealous if anyone else takes up my time, like my ex boyfriends or my cats. It eats them when i dont spend all my time with them. And i feel so sorry for my cats having to suffer because of them, because they do it on purpose. When i move out i wont have contact with my parents cause i cant take their shit anymore.

 

[Leomc123]

oh yeah, after when i put Mc down , the internet went off line, and he was like did you disconnect the internet. I told him where the hell did you think i was the last 1 hour, i was at the vet with you putting the cat down. There is something wrong with them.

 

[kittyluv387]

I'm so sorry it sounds like there is a huge culture difference between you and your parents. That's how it was with me and my parents too. But if anything, it's good motivation to get your crap together for financial independence. It's awesome. Then you can have your kitties and get into natural cleaning, spoil them like crazy and all that good stuff.

 

[Leomc123]

well i have my own investment property, but the point is all my money is going there, they pushed me into an investment property that i cant afford, because its located right in front of my sisters place. And they wonder why i never have enough money on a low wage. Then they pushed me into getting a new car , so far its almost paid off but guess what its totaly trashed now thanks to the car accident i had 2 weeks ago. I am not allowed to move out on my own cause i am not allowed to be independent , i must be stuck to a mans ass. When i was living with a man for 10 years, they didnt like him and caused problems. So now all my my money is going down the drain and they know i cant afford it they made sure i am stuck here with them. They are so quick to pay for a cat being put down .

 

[Maria Bayote]

I am so sorry for your loss, in just a year. This is so difficult for a mortal being to bear. Hang in there.

Allow yourself to grieve. It will take time. Mourning for a dearly beloved pet or pets is not easy. It can take weeks, months or even years. It depends on how we process our pain and loss. When you are ready, you can open your heart once again to those cats in need at the shelter. Take it one day at a time. You gave your cats a beautiful life, and it did matter to them. Otherwise, MC would not have lasted for 19 years! For others it is a long time. For us pet lovers it is never enough.

Sending my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Jcatbird]

Oh my dear. I am so sorry. You are going through so very much. It sounds like you have just had your limit. Just try to keep in your mind that there will come a day when you are free of others opinions and expectations and you can be in charge of what goes on in your own home. Your parents probably were raised a certain way by their parents. They may not be able to understand what you understand. It may not mean that they don’t care. It was a different time and world for them. I can sympathize with much of what you are telling me here. I took care of a very sick Mother and my father left me to that. I was very young for so much responsibility and it was hard. Mother’s illness often made her hard to take care of. My father had a very easy life. The world deals us some very unfair times. We do move on though and everything changes. Better times will come to you. Just hold on tight and keep working. Focus on gaining your own life and home and build the world you want for yourself. I don’t know how old you are but I promise you that you will see things differently one day. As I got older I began to find out things about my parents that made me see why they acted the way they did. It didn’t excuse it but it opened my eyes. It made me realize that their lives before I came along had been difficult for them sometimes. Those difficulties made them become the people I had to deal with. When my Mother passed I was glad that I had stayed in contact with her, taken care of her and that no matter what she or anyone else had done, I did the right and good thing. My Dad is still living and I see him answering for some of the decisions he made in life. Now he wishes things had been handled better. I’m glad that I continued to do right by him, no matter what he did. We all learn as we go. They will and you will. Everyone does. You will get your chance to be away from their ways of doing things. You will be able to be free of the stress you feel now. You just need to remember that you gave your kitties all your love. The kitties always know that. None of us can do more than give them our best. We can’t work beyond our capabilities no matter how badly we want to. I have kitties and I have lost kitties. I know for a fact that our cats love us just as we love them. That means that they also do not want us to suffer. Your kitties are without pain or suffering now and would not want you to have any either. I know that you know that. They would want you at peace. To purr as they did. I believe that we always carry something of their love with us forever. We don’t lose everything from them. A part of them is with you now. Hold on to that and find a way to keep going forward. You can come here any time you need to and you will find other people who understand and care. For now, just try to hang on to that. Come here and yell, scream, cry or whatever you need to do. Others who have lost their kitties have done that too. We understand the feeling that maybe more could have been done or something different could have been done but it is my belief that it was just time for them to go. We cannot give life. We can only do what is within our power. You did that. I would suggest that you just don’t talk about it at home if it upsets you and you don’t feel you are understood. You can come here and be understood. I send you my friendship and I send you any comfort that is possible for me to send.

 

[Leomc123]

its depressing, i go into my room and now i have photo frames of my two dead cats and nothing else. I dont know what to do with myself, it seems the more i try the more is taken away from me. I go outside and i just zone out and there is nothing there, i come inside and there is nothing here, i come home and there is nothing for me . Life gets shittier for me all the time, everything that makes me happy is taken away from me, anything that is close to me is taken away from me, its like its god punishing me all the time my life its been that way. I hate this life i live and the two best things in my life is gone now. Its this never ending curse in my life.

 

[Maria Bayote]

its depressing, i go into my room and now i have photo frames of my two dead cats and nothing else. I dont know what to do with myself, it seems the more i try the more is taken away from me. I go outside and i just zone out and there is nothing there, i come inside and there is nothing here, i come home and there is nothing for me . Life gets shittier for me all the time, everything that makes me happy is taken away from me, anything that is close to me is taken away from me, its like its god punishing me all the time my life its been that way. I hate this life i live and the two best things in my life is gone now. Its this never ending curse in my life.

One way or another most of us, if not all, go through this phase. You are not alone. Your kitties would not want you to feel this way. They are your angels that are now looking down on you with a smile on their lips, as you have given them the love and wonderful memories they will both carry until eternity. Just remember that this, too, shall pass. Be strong. As I said, take it one day at a time. Life is beautiful if we just give it a chance. Take it from me who also had my share of severe depression.

Hang in there. You can do this. Remember your cats with love, happiness and sunshine - and absorb them in your heart so you can learn to smile again, look at life at a different perspective, and smell the flowers once more, so to speak.

 

[Leomc123]

And now my dad is going on how happy he is. And my mum is sitting there with a smirk on her face. And he places a mug with King Dad written on it. He breaks my nerves and my mother is another massive pain in the ass. Both narcissistic assholes they are.

 

[Norachan]

I'm so sorry to hear you lost MC. She was a beautiful girl. 19 is an amazing age for a cat to reach. I think your parents could be a little more considerate about the products they use, but for her to get to 19 suggests that it didn't affect her too badly.

Could you go and stay with your sister for a few days to get a break from your parents? Sometimes a change of scene can really help.

I hope things start to get a little easier for you soon.

 

[di and bob]

I'm so very sorry for your losses, it's especially hard when they happen so close together. It sounds like you are in a bad place with your parents, you are an adult, they cannot force you buy anything, it is your money and if you have none, it is you that is responsible. I would be saving to get out of that toxic environment, as long as you live with them they have the right to run your life. It's hard but you have to stand on your own two feet and be independent. Then you can do what you want when you want to.
They are from a different generation like so many, including my own parents, who do not understand that a pet can be so much more than just an animal. Most have farm backgrounds where animals were either there to work to keep a place or became food. They did not form attachments because death was as common as life.
It is understandable that you are feeling such anger right now, it is as much a part of grieving as sadness. So is denial, bargaining, and depression. Grieving is an intensely personal emotion, your parents could never have been as close to your little ones as you, because it was you and those two precious babies that loved each other so much. They dismiss your feelings because they do not understand, and it is sad they will never know the love of a cat. It is good you are where you can share these feelings with those who understand, it lessens the burden on your soul somewhat, and will help you on your path to healing.
The bond you have with those two will never leave you, they will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Try to concentrate on the good they brought to your life, on sending them love and comfort, they will do the same. it takes a long time to heal a broken heart and it always leaves a scar. but "Death cannot take that which never dies' and since your love is spiritual, it will be with you forever. You were blessed to have them in your life for as long as you did, concentrate on your precious memories of better times, and not on their ends, their lives were so much more important.
My heart goes out to you, I'll keep you and your two little ones in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself.....RIP dear MC, you are reunited with your beloved Leo, where you will wait together for teh one you love. You will never be forgotten, you will forever have secure places in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[les26]

I replied to your little post in the thread about Jax when you mentioned your little MC, so sorry for the loss.....

 

[Kflowers]

If you are the only one who signed on your investment, you can sell it. You can move out. There is no law that says you have to live with them, or take care of them. There is no law that says you have to speak to them if you live with them.

If the evenings are unbearable at your parents home, take a part time job to keep you away in the evenings.

 

[Leomc123]

i already work full time, and i cannot sell cause property price is so low to sell for the actual value, and to buy anything else it will not be enough to buy anything decent. I could move into it if i want, but i dont make enough to live

 

[Norachan]

Could you get a tenant for the property you own? You could draw up a contract for five years or so, whatever suits you best, so you would still be able to move into your own home in the future.

If you have tenants you could make enough money to finish paying off whatever you owe on your car then save up enough money to start your new life.

We all go through these periods where we feel our lives are crap and we can't see any way out. If you talk to anyone here they'll all have stories of terrible times they've gone through. It seems hopeless but people do survive. They find a way to overcome their problems and pull themselves out of the predicament they are in.

Losing a pet can send you into a downward spiral of depression and despair. But I promise you it does get better. You have the ability to turn this into something positive.

 

[Leomc123]

The pic at the top was where Leo would come to visit MC and would hang out together at the front of the house every morning and afternoon and they would both come in the morning to get pats from me before i went to work and when i got home they were there to greet me every afternoon.

 

[Leomc123]

Man i have realized since MC passed at 10.55 am that the grey fat pigeon who always sits with her isn't around anymore He used to be with her and she never would chase him away, she would let him come while she is laying on the front or at the backyard on the grass or porch and let him dance around her. It was nice to watch them two together when leo passed away, like MC had some company with her when i went to work. But the pigeon is gone as well , he was there on friday and on Saturday morning he was there but in the afternoon he isnt I wish i took pics of the bird and MC together