- Joined
- Nov 20, 2011
- Messages
- 47
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We will never know when is the right time, or if there is a right time. But this morning Mia was throwing up foam and blood and because of the lesions in her throat (due to her lymphoma of the esophagus) she was unable to get the foam up and was essentially choking or suffocating on it. I immediately made "the call" and called the mobile vet to come immediately. I vowed when she was diagnosed I would never let her suffer. Of course 1/2 before the vet gets here, Mia was almost totally herself, which made me doubt my decision... did she have more life in her, was this premature... I don't know, but I know it wouldn't have been fair to allow what happened this morning happen again, especially if I could have made sure it didn't.
It has now only been hours since her passing and I am devastated. I have no children, so she was my child. and the past 5 months have been totally focused on her and making sure she has a great life and never suffers, So my day revolved around Mia. And here I am at home, crying my eyes out, remembering all the good memories, which is almost every one (aside from getting her in the carrier) and all I can do is be sad. I miss her so much. I am looking around for her, excepting to see her on her window perch with her cute face, or her to jump on the bed with her ball she loved to fetch. But there is no more of that, just a memory. I know my life has changed, no more of her greeting me at the door, rubbing in between my legs, or snuggling me, or me nuzzling her little face.... I hear a noise in the kitchen and instantly say, "mia what are you doing in there?" but she's not there.... I keep excepting to see her or I feel her presence walking around the floor. Perhaps its her spirit still here with me and letting me know its ok, she's ok, and she is here..... or maybe I'm so sad that I am making things up to make myself feel better. All I know is that is the hardest day for me, and I know I have plenty more ahead.... but I hope that this terrible ache in my heart gets less in time, because right now it feels like it'll never go away. I will always miss her, she has been with me for 13 years (her whole life since I rescued her at 6 weeks) and my life will forever be changed..... she has left her paw prints on my heart til eternity!
I miss you Mia..... I love you.... You are my little girl..... mommy loves you......
xoxo
It has now only been hours since her passing and I am devastated. I have no children, so she was my child. and the past 5 months have been totally focused on her and making sure she has a great life and never suffers, So my day revolved around Mia. And here I am at home, crying my eyes out, remembering all the good memories, which is almost every one (aside from getting her in the carrier) and all I can do is be sad. I miss her so much. I am looking around for her, excepting to see her on her window perch with her cute face, or her to jump on the bed with her ball she loved to fetch. But there is no more of that, just a memory. I know my life has changed, no more of her greeting me at the door, rubbing in between my legs, or snuggling me, or me nuzzling her little face.... I hear a noise in the kitchen and instantly say, "mia what are you doing in there?" but she's not there.... I keep excepting to see her or I feel her presence walking around the floor. Perhaps its her spirit still here with me and letting me know its ok, she's ok, and she is here..... or maybe I'm so sad that I am making things up to make myself feel better. All I know is that is the hardest day for me, and I know I have plenty more ahead.... but I hope that this terrible ache in my heart gets less in time, because right now it feels like it'll never go away. I will always miss her, she has been with me for 13 years (her whole life since I rescued her at 6 weeks) and my life will forever be changed..... she has left her paw prints on my heart til eternity!
I miss you Mia..... I love you.... You are my little girl..... mommy loves you......
xoxo