MOD NOTE - Discussion moved from this thread - http://www.thecatsite.com/t/315630/time-running-out#post_3957523
There were problems from the first. The wife cleaned by throwing things away. She also stole from me, she attacked my religious beliefs, and she openly held me in contempt. I didn't have a driver's license (because of the brain tumor), and my husband was away from home, at work, most of the time, so he didn't understand just how bad it was. Most of my complaints he put down to residual damage from the brain tumor.
Within six months I had been taught by my O.T.s how to get up on my own in any situation, so there was no longer any need for their presence, but they stayed, and stayed. One day my D.H. turned around and discovered them painting the inside of the house behind his back. We had had an expensive cat door installed for Sweet Thing when we first bought the house, because Sweet Thing had always been an indoor/outdoor kitty and could look after herself, but ever since her death we had kept it locked closed. (Very expensive.) When nephew and wife got to the cat door they were afraid that they'd get house paint on it and decided to remove it. In the process they broke it and replaced it with a simple, cheap cat flap. D.H. and I were sufficiently distracted by my recovery that we didn't realize in time what had happened. Once I did, I said that I wanted them out, but D.H. felt obliged to let them stay.
Then one day nephew's wife got me in a corner in the basement, with only her daughter to witness it, and began screaming insane things in my face. I pushed her enough to get past her and leave, she followed me, shoving me all the way (I later found a bruise on my right breast from where she repeatedly shoved me — I was backing up, attempting to defend myself) until I tripped over the bottom basement step and fell in the landing, extremely hard. Then she shoved my my feet up onto the landing and closed and locked the door. I managed to get on my feet and up the stairs, too badly bruised to sleep that night, and the next day I told them they had worn out their welcome; it was time to leave. Two weeks later there was no sign that they were even trying to find a new home, so my cousin the lawyer emailed me a copy of Colorado's official eviction notice, which we both signed. I filled it out, and one night after nephew's wife was in bed I handed it to nephew and said "You've been served." It took another two months, but we finally got rid of them, a year after they moved in.
When D.H. asked nephew's wife why she'd over-reacted so strongly to my pushing past her, BTW, nephew's wife didn't say "I was just defending myself" or "Margret started it"; she said "Because Margret's crazy." That was when D.H. finally realized I hadn't been imagining her malice.
Nephew's wife is now a nurse. If I could have charged her with elder abuse without endangering myself I would have, but my cousin advised me that that would put me in danger of a domestic abuse charge because I pushed first. I wouldn't push a rape victim to testify if she were afraid, and I won't do it to myself, either, even though it would be a public service to keep this woman from any kind of care giving work.
Margret
After my brain surgery and arm surgery in 2012 (benign 2" brain tumor, and left forearm broken in three places) I was tending to fall down and my Dear Husband was afraid that I would need help he would be unable to give me. His nephew and the nephew's wife and 13 year old daughter were having trouble paying the rent, the wife was a Certified Nursing Assistant studying to be a nurse, inviting them to stay with us and help to care for me seemed like a win-win.That's so terrible and I'm sorry for your loss.
Who are these house guests from hell?
There were problems from the first. The wife cleaned by throwing things away. She also stole from me, she attacked my religious beliefs, and she openly held me in contempt. I didn't have a driver's license (because of the brain tumor), and my husband was away from home, at work, most of the time, so he didn't understand just how bad it was. Most of my complaints he put down to residual damage from the brain tumor.
Within six months I had been taught by my O.T.s how to get up on my own in any situation, so there was no longer any need for their presence, but they stayed, and stayed. One day my D.H. turned around and discovered them painting the inside of the house behind his back. We had had an expensive cat door installed for Sweet Thing when we first bought the house, because Sweet Thing had always been an indoor/outdoor kitty and could look after herself, but ever since her death we had kept it locked closed. (Very expensive.) When nephew and wife got to the cat door they were afraid that they'd get house paint on it and decided to remove it. In the process they broke it and replaced it with a simple, cheap cat flap. D.H. and I were sufficiently distracted by my recovery that we didn't realize in time what had happened. Once I did, I said that I wanted them out, but D.H. felt obliged to let them stay.
Then one day nephew's wife got me in a corner in the basement, with only her daughter to witness it, and began screaming insane things in my face. I pushed her enough to get past her and leave, she followed me, shoving me all the way (I later found a bruise on my right breast from where she repeatedly shoved me — I was backing up, attempting to defend myself) until I tripped over the bottom basement step and fell in the landing, extremely hard. Then she shoved my my feet up onto the landing and closed and locked the door. I managed to get on my feet and up the stairs, too badly bruised to sleep that night, and the next day I told them they had worn out their welcome; it was time to leave. Two weeks later there was no sign that they were even trying to find a new home, so my cousin the lawyer emailed me a copy of Colorado's official eviction notice, which we both signed. I filled it out, and one night after nephew's wife was in bed I handed it to nephew and said "You've been served." It took another two months, but we finally got rid of them, a year after they moved in.
When D.H. asked nephew's wife why she'd over-reacted so strongly to my pushing past her, BTW, nephew's wife didn't say "I was just defending myself" or "Margret started it"; she said "Because Margret's crazy." That was when D.H. finally realized I hadn't been imagining her malice.
Nephew's wife is now a nurse. If I could have charged her with elder abuse without endangering myself I would have, but my cousin advised me that that would put me in danger of a domestic abuse charge because I pushed first. I wouldn't push a rape victim to testify if she were afraid, and I won't do it to myself, either, even though it would be a public service to keep this woman from any kind of care giving work.
Margret
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