My Cat Didnt Want To Die? :(

[justaKitty02]

I feel very guilty about this and I dont know how to move on. The truth is i panick when i have make decisions like this. My cat was old but that wasnt reason to put her to sleep. Although we agreed with family we wouldnt put her through through surgeries and all that at this age.
She wasn't very sick, like most cats are, when put to sleep but she had some symptoms, why took her to vet.
At vet, she said the disease could be managed with right treatment, but that wasn't for sure. She told me it could be difficult. She would have needed medication everyday. Possible surgery. I panicked. I wasnt thinking clearly.
If i would have chosed differently, she would still live! I chose euthanasia. I dont know why. I was in shock and nervous. I felt like i rushed my decision. I didn't want her to be in any pain. I wasn't even thinking clearly. She was still eating and had good days at home! She wasnt even that sick and I chose euthanasia. WHY??!!!! After this ive been hating myself. I just took away her life like that? Everytime I look in her pictures, I think, she didn't want this and I feel guilty.

 

[les26]

This is a very tough one....how old was she and what was the disease?

 

[Mamanyt1953]

That was a tough decision, but you made it for all the right reasons, didn't you? Would you really have preferred to wait, to watch her quality of life go down and down and down, only to face the same end? Look, this is the bottom line...you made that decision because you wanted to spare HER pain and indignity, NOT because you didn't want to be bothered by a sick cat. Let that guilt go now, Darlin', you acted in her best interests as best you could at the time. She lived in love every day of her life with you, and she left for her Next Great Adventure surrounded by that Love. Where she is now, she loves you still (as you still love her), and blesses you for putting her well-being ahead of your own feelings.

 

[Purr-fect]

We never know the exact "right" time....how could we.

But I do know the "wrong" time. It is when my buddy suffered because I didnt have the courage to help them when they needed it most. It was when I put my desire for their company before their need to be released from pain.

I would rather my dear beloved boys parted too soon than suffered a day, frightened, crying and in pain.

You stepped up and made the difficult choice. You minimized her suffering and selflessly transferred her pain to you. It is normal to feel guilty.

Many posters here feel guilty for waiting too long, some for thinking they acted too quickly.

You acted out of love to protect your girl. There is no guilt or shame there.

 

[di and bob]

Believe me, you must believe that what you did you did out of love and for her. I have had several that have died at home, and it was NOT a peaceful, quite end. No creature wants to die. But they shouldn't slowly deteriorate, and go through unending suffering either. What you did was to end a future full of fear and suffering that was not curable, that would not get better. We always feel rushed in decisions like this, and it is only later, when the mind begins to function again, that we question what we had decided. And because we can't chnage what we decided, it is naturally what we think is wrong. The vets know what is coming, they don't bring up euthanasia lightly. They offer it as a choice to give you the full imformation. They don't give it as an option if there truly is a good chance of a normal, long life.
Your first thought is usually the right choice. What you decided you decided out of concern and love for her. It is in the past now, and does absolutely no good to question your decision or your motives. Try not to dwell on things you can't chnage, on the end of her life. That makes her death more important then her life, and that should never be. What she brought to your life is infinitely more important. Your memories of her should bring you comfort, not pain. And you know in your heart that is what she would want for you, to remember her with thankfullness and love. Just as you would want for her if you were the first to go. The bond you have with that little girl will be with you forever, she will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers.
Time is the only thing that will help you with this, it takes a long time to heal a broken heart. So be gentle on yoruself, you can't hold guilt for what you decided, you had no intention to cause harm, what you did you did to try to end fear and suffering, what you did you did out of love and concern for her future. You can't be wrong when what you decide is made from love.......

 

[Leomc123]

I am sorry for your loss, and the pressure put on you to make that decision would have been difficult, especially when the vet tells you that your cats symptoms could be managed but isnt certain, and i think with that futures uncertainty of your cat possibly not being able to recover or will end up suffering swayed you into euthanizing your cat. Both times i was in that situation this year and i had to make that decision and i can tell you that i understand what you are going through, and how you felt in that moment when are told this information.

You feel trapped and the vet tells you your making the right decision and you feel its the right decision with the information that you have been given, you dont want your pet to suffer and once they are euthanized, you begin to doubt yourself, because it took a few seconds to take a life in a simple desicion just like that and i think that is the shocking part, that a decision ended a life in 10 seconds its so quick and it was a living being that we all promise that we would keep alive, but we know that nothing lives forever, but we never will think that we will be the one making this decision for another.

 

[GaryT]

Don't second guess yourself. I also had a hard time putting my Oliver down one year ago. He was almost 16 but he had bad asthma attacks and the med for that was not working as well. He had attacks every day and I could see that was not good for him. He also developed arthritis so bad he stopped bending his leg joints when I held him in my lap. He held them extended even while I had him on his back to comb him. He still had a bright spark in his eyes at times but, he also looked like he was suffering at time.

It was hard, I didn't want to do it (I could not bear to be in the room when they did it) but, I know he is in a better place now and I will see him again when I go. It gets harder every time. I almost didn't get another. But, I am glad I did. He is the light in my life and he has helped to fill the BIG hole left in me from losing Oliver.

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[GaryT]

I should add this. I waited until Oliver stopped eating before I took him in. As long as he was still eating well, I held off. It still pained me to see him suffer and hear him cry at night......He would not stay in the bedroom with me. He had a spot downstairs where he laid most of the day that he would return to so I stopped trying to force him to stay with me. The last few months he had stopped sleeping with me. We lose them slowly inch by inch. It adds up and it is hard to watch.

 

[Ivana90]

I had the same guilt trip. Just thinking over and over weather or not I made the right decision... some people here helped me a lot and I am grateful. You see, it isn't about us, it is about them. Our babies. Why should they feel the pain, suffering? just because I am selfish and not yet ready to let go... my kitty was just a baby, bearly 3 months old, why should she feel monstrosity of that illness from hell ( FIP )? She feel asleep peacefully, silently, went to a place where there is no pain, tummy water, diuretics and needles... it was the best thing for her although a piece of my soul died with her.

 

[Leomc123]

Im sorry garyt sounds like an awful situation

i just feel depressed majority of the time, i know i will see them in heaven when its my time, but its just depressing. i know i did the right thing, but i wish they were here thats all its been six months since leo died and 3 months since mc died and still i havent stopped thinking about them.

 

[GaryT]

Im sorry garyt sounds like an awful situation

It was. Oliver got me thru a very hard time when my wife left. He was all I had and he was such a blessing. It was so hard to see him suffer with the arthritis and asthma attacks. He would come to me every morning when it was time for his capsule of med (he knew when it was time). He was the hardest one to lose for me of all the cats I have had and I know now that Theo will be just as hard if not harder (but that is hopefully a lot of years away). I am disabled with PKD so I am home all the time alone with my baby. Oliver was my baby.