My Boyfriend & My Cat

[Kat0121]

My cat has bit him three times already & he doesn't trust him at all. I wouldn't trust his cat if his cat bit me like he got bit. Not a chance.

There is a reason why the cat is biting him. Is he trying to pet the cat when the cat doesn't want it? Is he trying to pick the cat up and the cat does not like it? A relationship with a cat has to develop over time just like with a person. Cats are not small dogs. Their love and trust must be earned. Your bf needs to want to get along with your cat and must be willing to let the cat come to him instead of trying to force the cat to be his friend. I noticed that you do not seem to be having the same issue with his cat. What are you doing that he is not or vice versa?

 

[talkingpeanut]

You're referring to three attacks from before you've moved in, correct?

That is old news. Your boyfriend needs to adjust and work on the situation now. He is controlling you, and it's inappropriate.

Totally agree with everything else said here. Don't sacrifice yourself, but certainly don't sacrifice your cat.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

@lavishsqualor, many years ago, my mother almost fainted when I dumped a very handsome, VERY well-off gentleman after he walked into my apartment for the first time and snarled, "Either that cat goes, or I go." My reply was, "Hit the road. The cat was here when you came in, she will be here when you walk out." No loss. People who care about you don't ask you to make those choices.

 

[daisyd]

I'd be concerned about being with a guy who got upset about a cat biting them. Sounds like you may be quite young... Some advice, men do mostly come and go .. Whereas Cats (pets) are for life!

 

[kissthisangel]

People who deliver ultimatums in emotional situations are not people you need in your life.

 

[danteshuman]

Has your cat ever bitten any one else besides your bf? It so your cat may need to be trained/socialized. If not it sounds like your bf needs to learn to speak cat. For example: my niece came over yesterday and met our semi feral cat. I told her to be careful and if he starts acting annoyed to leave him be, because he will nip at you if he gets over petted. She is older (10) and loves animals/speaks cat. He got a little annoyed, flicked his tail and stopped petting him. Then gave him treats that I handily provided. No one got bit or scratched. With some cats you have to teach new people how to inter act with them. We can help you socialize your cat or teach people how to interact with your cat?

If you decide to re-home your cat, please find your cat a new home. Finding an adult cat a home is no easy task. It took an entire household of people asking everyone they knew if they wanted a sweet loving gorgeous house cat that needed to be an only kitty, 18 months to find a stray cat we named Buddy a home!!!! (We would have kept him but he was cat aggressive and needed to be an only cat.) Shelters often euthanize HEALTHY kittens because they can't find them a home. I don't need to paint you a picture to tell you how long your cat would get if you put him in a shelter that isn't a no-kill shelter. Our local no-kill shelter was an hour away and had no available space. I called every month 6 months in row! So please for your cat's sake do your research of if there are any no kill shelters in your area. If so please call them, explain the situation and see if they can take your cat. If not is there a family member or friend that wants an extra loving kitty in their household?

Lastly my x-husband HATED my grey cat Dante. He is 10. Guess what, I still have him I don't have my x-husband Cats can tell if someone feels anger or aggression towards them. It will make them more aggressive to protect themselves from the person radiating hate/anger.

 

[David Green]

this reminds me of my cousins situation, her gf was in a bad car accident, after she got out of the hospital, he told her that he would take care of her, so she moved in with him, so did her cat, after 8 months of paying her medical bills which came to over 200k, and also taking care of her cat, she got offended cause he wanted to get rid of her cat, cat had destroyed his home after those 8 months, also would attack him for no reason. short story stort, she picked her cat over him, and went to live with her mom, after everything he did for her, she picked the cat over him, he really loved her, he went into a depression and killed himself, all because of a cat, may he RIP.

 

[Sarthur2]

That's a sad story!

 

[David Green]

That's a sad story!

I really don't blame the cat, but her. She didn't even go to his funeral, damn winch.

 

[arouetta]

Stand your ground and do not give up your cat. Do not. You will regret it in your heart.

"Super emotional" is code for emotionally manipulative. You're in love, you probably won't listen, but just in case start working on an escape plan. Keep communication open with family and friends even if your boyfriend decides he likes them about as well as he likes the cat, hide some cash somewhere outside the home in case you need to leave immediately, keep a prepaid phone hidden that he doesn't know about. Never, ever, ever leave the cat behind. On top of that, don't ever let him make you think that you are worth very little.

 

[Popo is his name]

It sounds like the bf and your cat need to get to know each other better.

You need to give this time, especially since the two cats get along!

I also think you need to stand your ground about keeping your cat. This should not be an issue going into a new living arrangement.

I agree that your bf needs to spend time investing in getting to know your cat through respectful play, petting, and feeding.

If you guys can't get through this without you having to give up your cat to appease your bf, there will be much bigger issues coming down the pike.

Will you have to give up and let him have his way every time he is unhappy about something?

Relationships, with both people and pets, involve a series of compromises throughout life.

Giving up your cat is not a compromise. Your bf learning to live with the cat you love is compromise.

I agree. This will take some time. Cats aren't super territorial over their owners like dogs are. They are much more independent. A little bit of time, and cooperation from your boyfriend, and this relationship between the two will be just fine. Your kitty isn't accepting him into the "litter" just yet. It's a protection mode they have for their loved ones. He will conform. Let us know how it goes.

 

[catmom5321]

This post started ages ago. What happened?!!
I seriously hope you kept your cat. You are her voice in the world. She would become just a number.

 

[rogue22912]

Okay so a friend of mine just recently went though a situation like yours. her boyfriend moved in and hated the cat and told her to get rid of the cat mind you that cat was 15 years old at the time and had been with my friend all her life. well she chose to give up the cat and a day later they had to put the cat down because it bite one of the shelter workers. Then two weeks later her boyfriend moved out of her place and a week after that he broke up with her. Now my friend regrets what she did and wishes she could get her cat back.

 

[daisyd]

Okay so a friend of mine just recently went though a situation like yours. her boyfriend moved in and hated the cat and told her to get rid of the cat mind you that cat was 15 years old at the time and had been with my friend all her life. well she chose to give up the cat and a day later they had to put the cat down because it bite one of the shelter workers. Then two weeks later her boyfriend moved out of her place and a week after that he broke up with her. Now my friend regrets what she did and wishes she could get her cat back.

My kitten / cat is only 10 months and I'd never give Her up ! Been with hubby 5 years and he already knows he's second now

 

[catmom5321]

Okay so a friend of mine just recently went though a situation like yours. her boyfriend moved in and hated the cat and told her to get rid of the cat mind you that cat was 15 years old at the time and had been with my friend all her life. well she chose to give up the cat and a day later they had to put the cat down because it bite one of the shelter workers. Then two weeks later her boyfriend moved out of her place and a week after that he broke up with her. Now my friend regrets what she did and wishes she could get her cat back.

Hate to say it but she should regret it. If she can't understand or is prepared for the responsibility of another life then she shouldn't have pets. I was dating someone who hated my cat. Next day I broke up with him - you accept all of my life or you get none of it. I hope your friend never got another one.