My boy left me this past Friday...

[amandag]

I lost my Gary Friday 03/03/17 to FeLV. I've lost very close family members and not had this hard of a time with the loss. He chose us 3 and 1/2 years ago. He showed up at our home as a kitten and wouldn't leave! We fell in love with him and took him to the vet for shots. We were told he had FeLV and that we should euthanize him, we refused. We took him to Auburn University they confirmed he had it and told use he would be sick and we should keep him indoors all the time. Gary was never sick, we took him for walks on his leash every day and walks in his stroller on the weekends. He would let me rock him like a baby and rub his little belly....He would lay on the kids in the mornings to keep them from getting up and ready for school! He would also walk in front of each of their heads as if counting them each night when they fell asleep before laying at their feet to sleep. He was truly our little angel. 2 weeks ago without any warning he was lethargic and throwing up. We took him to the vet and his blood count was so bad she recommended we go back to Auburn University. We tried blood transfusions and steroids and fluid removal from his chest cavity.....it was so hard...he was home for some of that time but he was at Auburn's hospital for the final week. I was there every day with him, we saw that nothing was going to work so we had decided that we were going to remove him from blood pressure medicine and let him go peacefully....we didn't get that chance he died before I could get to the hospital early Friday morning. The Doctor said it was peaceful and that she was there with him but I'm still full of guilt for not being there with my boy. We consulted with Louisiana State University, Cornell University, and several specialists....its so hard for me to accept that nothing could be done to help him. We buried Gary in a little casket full of pictures of all of us with him and some of his favorite toys.... I just feel so heartbroken, I've never felt so much pain in my life and honestly don't know how to cope with it. I can't stand to be in the house b/c everything reminds me of him.....just pulling up in the yard and not seeing him waiting in the window for me causing me to break down......

 

[solomonar]

Tears here. Without you adopting him, Gary would have had a difficult life. You saved him and gave him years of life.

Nature sets beginning and end to all creatures, but allowed only us - the humans- to enjoy memories of the beloved ones. Time will pass and nice memories will be more and more powerful than sorrow.

Head bow and my compassion.

 

[di and bob]

You gave Gary over three years of life and happiness that he most likely would have never experienced. You gave him a home and your love and that is all he ever wanted in his life. The bond you formed with that little boy was with him at the end, he was holding your love in his heart and will continue to do so for eternity. You did what most wouldn't, you loved him even though you knew he would leave you soon in the future. You did all you could, and more than most, so don't ever feel guilty about not doing enough.

Gary would never want to be the reason for sadness in your heart, he loves you too much for that. Try to live your life as you would want him to live if you were the first to go, in happiness and sunshine. What you shared is spiritual, all love is, and therefore eternal. He will always be sitting in that window watching for you, his new life's path will parallel yours until it meets again. He is alive in your heart and will be kept that way through your precious memories and that special bond that ties your souls together.  Try not to dwell on the end, he would never want that, but celebrate knowing that little boy and having him in your life for the time you did, it is priceless. He is at peace now, and thanks to you had a wonderful life here on earth. Your heart is broken right now, try to do good in his name and pass on his legacy of love that he entrusted to you. Donate your time or food and litter to your local shelter, or to the hospital that took care of him. It will help you feel better and start the healing process.

I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers, I know how much this can hurt. Know we are here to share your pain, we all know how much this hurts. Take care........RIP beautiful Gary, you will never be forgotten and will dwell forevermore in a heart that will hold you safe and so loved.  Please send what comfort and love you can along the bond that ties you to a heart that dearly misses you. Sleep tight brave Prince!  

 

[amandag]

​Thanks to both of you for the kind words, most people don't understand the love that someone can have for an animal. I can't get rid of anything of his in the house. We ordered his stone to place over his grave and plan to put a fountain that will attract birds that we know he would have loved! I'm calling shelters today to find out ways I can help them. Again, thank you both for the nice things you have said as it has touched my heart.

 

[les26]

You did above and beyond what most would have done for that little boy, thank you for caring so much for him and saving his life and giving him a great albeit short one! I am so sorry for your loss, yes it hurts so badly that you yourself feel as if you too will die, but time slowly helps you deal with it, but you never forget, memories last forever.....

I will tell you what someone told me when we lost Skipper last year at 7 years old, "it is better to have a good short life than a bad long one"....that might help a little, but not much right now I'm sure.

May your heart heal a bit each day, his spirit lives with you forever more. God Bless......

 

 

[amandag]

@Les26  Thanks, that is what I have been telling myself. I know that some cats with FeLV are sick for most of their lives with different infections. I'm grateful that he was very healthy and only had 2 weeks of being sick. I have more memories and love in those 3 and 1/2 years than some people get in a lifetime....hopefully as time passes those memories will make the pain easier to deal with.

 

[Antonio65]

 
 I have more memories and love in those 3 and 1/2 years than some people get in a lifetime....hopefully as time passes those memories will make the pain easier to deal with.

These words are so true and beautiful!

You did things for Gary that nearly nobody would do for their pets, be proud of that.

I laughed when you wrote that you took Gary for a walk on the leash, because this is what I used to do with my Lola until a few months ago. Everyday, when I was back from work, I put her harness on, and with the leash we walked around the neighborhood for half an hour. Though she's blind and has arthritis, she loved it. Then, when I found out that she had a mouth cancer, I cancelled those walks for fear of tiring her too much.

Be thankful that she didn't suffer for a long time.

A kiss to Gary!

 

[Mia6]

Oh Sweetie,

I am truly sorry about Gary. There are no comforting words I could say to you now but that it sucks so badly.

I lost my Kirsten back in October and I still cry daily. Do you have any pics? I would love to see one of him

in his stroller if you have one or just any pic when you are ready. You took such good care of him.

Hugs,

Mia

 

[lily paddy]

Reading your post .. it is so sad, heartbreaking, your Gary.. u loved.. he loved.. u tried everything you could, gave him a chance and love when they said he was hopeless.. They get in our hearts and souls.. and we r never the same, i am so happy for you and your family's happy times with your Gary, we all love and know the pain, the outburst of tears, the loneliness, the words of a story stuck in our throats as tears stream.. Remember the love, Gary would not want u to be sad.. i know its hard, im crying as i type, it is still hard for me.. tears come quick.. i remember the love and how he lead me to love again..when i never thought i could. And how much sweeter our lives are to just see them laying in the sun....  Peace. 

 

[amandag]

@Mia6

garystroller.jpg

• amandag
• Mar 7, 2017

He would tell you when he was ready to go out in his stroller!

Gary7.jpg

• amandag
• Mar 7, 2017

Gary6.jpg

• amandag
• Mar 7, 2017

Gary4.jpg

• amandag
• Mar 7, 2017

Gary1.jpg

• amandag
• Mar 7, 2017

 

[amandag]

​Your comments are all so nice and help so much.

 

[Mia6]

Ha!!!!!! He was soooo adorable!!! So sweet in his stroller. You are lucky to have such great pics of him.

Made me smile as I am really missing all my babies who have Crossed Over.

Hugs,

Mia

 

[lily paddy]

YES!I am going to get a stroller! i will take my MAxx for a walk in his stroller and tell him about the inspiration of the great Garycat that lead me to do so. 

Message_1488727487374.jpg

• lily paddy
• Mar 6, 2017

 

[Mia6]

Isn't he just adorable? I bet your MAxx will love it as much as Gary did.

Mia

 

[amandag]

​Please do and take pictures to share, I would love that!

Thanks Mia and sorry for your babies that have left you. I hope one day I can get another cat that my dogs will accept like they did Gary. My dog Lilly has taken his passing really hard, she cried and looked for him the whole time he was at the hospital. We let her see him before we buried him and she has stopped looking for him but she is still sad when she sees a toy of his or something else that belonged to him.

 

[Mia6]

Poor Lily,

Perhaps when you are ready you can get another cat as she does not understand. My Vincie girl grieved so much for Kirs that my

vet suggested meds if she didn't perk up. She has finally stopped looking for her and last week she and Callie kissed for the first

time since Kirs's passing. It was really sweet to watch.

Hugs,

Mia

 

[jmwentzel]

So SORRY for your loss. I had the same thing happen with my baby. She was my first cat & I just didn't recognize the symptoms of chronic kidney disease. When I took her for her check up they found out & she was so sick. After a week in intensive care I took her home & did daily subQ IVs but it was just downhill from there. Miss her so bad. The last stay in the hospital they thought she was turning the corner only to call me that night at 10 to tell me she was gone.
Again, SO SORRY for your loss.

 

[amandag]

​I hope so, glad that your Vincie Girl is better! We have a cat that has shown up outside that will not leave and the dogs don't like her at all....it is strange she showed up as soon as Gary got sick and hasn't left. Our neighborhood isn't one that has ferals or any animals running around at all...I think I will take her to the vet to get scanned for a chip and if there is no chip get her checked out and vaccinated and turn her loose. She is very sweet and affectionate so I know she is or was someone's pet. I'm just not ready for another cat so soon!

 

[zed xyzed]

Gary was a beautiful boy,  you are amongst people who understand how important our little furry friends are. It is devastating to lose such a beautiful friend. He sounded like such a special little guy that was given a chance because of you. 

 

[amandag]

@jmwentzel  So sorry about your baby as well. We both did what we could for them and it is so hard.

@Zed Xyzed  He was a very special guy thanks for your kind words.