Mom cat bullying her daughter

[kittykisses]

Earlier this year I took in a mother cat and her three kittens. When I got each kitten fixed, I separated them from the mom and bonded with them. Then I got the mother spayed and reintroduced everyone. They are all getting along except for some reason the mom has singled out one of the female kittens and keeps chasing her away!

As soon as the kitten enters the room, the mom gets fixated on her. They gotten into a few fights or else the kitten runs away and gets chased. I've tried distracting the mom, spraying her with water, chasing her away, yelling at her... nothing seems to make any difference.

The only difference I've seen is that the kitten is getting more confident (she's always been the shy one) and I see her more often. I find this surprising, but I'm glad. The two will even eat next to each other sometimes. But usually if the kitten sees her mom, she runs away.

I don't know if I should keep trying to interfere or if I should leave them alone to work things out. I'm afraid of just making things worse.

A bit more info. The kittens are around 10 months old, now. The mom was very young when she had them and now the kittens actually weigh a bit more than her. The mom is a calico, the bullied kitten is a grey tabby.

I feel so sad to see mama being mean to one of her babies! It's like she doesn't remember her.

 

[ondine]

This sounds like normal territorial behavior.  Mom would have chased any females out of her territory in the wild, so she may be a little confused about who owns the joint (your house).  Adding some vertical space might help.  Cat trees, shelves, etc.  We had that issue between siblings and two cats trees brought peace to their little kingdom.

As to interfering - let them work it out up to a point.  If a real knock down drag out fight starts, separate them for a bit.  Spraying water rarely works for long.  If they are determined, a little water isn't going to stop them.

Thanks for helping them all.  As the kittens come into their own, everything should settle down as they each figure out their place in the hierarchy.

 

[kittykisses]

Thanks for the reply! We do have two cat trees but we have a big house and were thinking of getting another. I think that is a good plan - only interfere if it gets bad. Yelling is just scaring everyone. Last night I heard hissing and found them under the couch together. I hope they will figure things out on their own with time.

I have a total of 7 cats now! I'm going to try and find homes for the mom and one of the other kittens. I'm attached to two of the kittens. But it's hard to find takers. So I'll try to make the best of things! I've never had kittens before so it's been a learning experience!

 

[kittykisses]

Thought I'd post an update for those who might be dealing with this same issue. It has taken several months, but Polly and Gracie are doing much better. Polly (the mom) sometimes chases Gracie, but it usually ends with a hiss from Gracie and nothing more. It used to be that Polly couldn't seem to STOP from going after her daughter, but now she resists the impulse most of the time.

I think mostly what we did was give Polly more attention. I think that helped her feel more a part of the family. Also, Gracie has gotten bigger (actually a little fat) and more able to stand up for herself. So in this situation I think what was needed was time. Thank goodness, because living with fighting cats is awful!

Oh, and we didn't find homes for any of the cats so we're keeping them all.

 

[di and bob]

Bless you for your big heart! It's so hard to find homes for cats, I have tried for years and as soon as I find one home another cat shows up! I'm glad there is more peace in your family, my two boys still fight once in a while and I know it's frustrating to try to figure out why! I wish you the very best, take care.

 

[kittykisses]

Thanks! My husband and I have taken in many strays, but always one at a time. This is the first time we've rescued an entire family! I'm glad they are fitting in with our other three cats. They all fight periodically, but it seems to be "normal" with a large cat family. As long as they aren't really hurting each other, I just let them do their thing.

 

[BlueTommySue]

Greetings, fellow cat lovers !! I'm going to try to keep this quick and painless, lol. I rescued my now 3yo momma cat as a 4/5 week old stray wandering the streets. At around 14mos., my roommate let her out and within minutes she is pregnant. The neighborhood tomcat knew all about her being in heat (howling for her in the middle of the night) and was ten feet from the front door waiting in the bushes. She was absolutely horrified and in shock afterwards, I held her and she was shaking for almost an hour. Fast-forward: she had 2 kittens, was an excellent, sweet mother. One day when they were 3mos old, momma (BlueTommySue) came out of nowhere screaming and tried to kill her 2nd born baby. I saved the baby, and Tommy then attacked ME. Now my roommate comes in (hearing the screams) and tries to spook her off of me with his T-shirt. And she then attacked HIM. F-F: I get her spayed, she's better. One day she attacked Saint (firstborn). I separated them and it took 6 days for Tommy to recognize me. When she heard my voice, she screamed every time. After a week I let her out of her room (after letting them meet at the slightly open door) and all was well. However, this still continues till this very morning. At first Saint would stay in the bedroom with her sister Sinner (they've always been very close) but now the last 2 or 3 times Sinner has been terrified of Saint for fighting with momma. They've all been spayed. I tried that Feliway. It seemed to work for awhile, but a fight happened still. What should I do now?? Medicine for mommy?? I see that it's a little fear aggression on her part, while Saint just starts in with her for nothing. Before Saint was spayed she was challenging Tommy for boss cat. But not after being spayed. Now she's starting with h f no reason. What to do?? Can anyone relate or offer advice that has worked??