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- Sep 14, 2022
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TL;DR: An intact tomcat feral I'm trying to catch, get neutered, and rehome here, has been warming up quite a bit since August. Can pet his back now, and he comes running for food. Has bitten me a few times (for moving too quickly); today he was extra affectionate, and bit me because I STOPPED petting him! I've been planning all along to keep him after I trap him/ have him neutered next week. But now, I'm more afraid of him, and not as sure of my plans (put him in the room I'm getting ready for him, and very slowly acclimate him to home, and later to my older female indoor-only cat).
Hi all,
Background
I thought I was great with ferals, having raised them for over 30 years - kittens as well as adults. I have rarely been bitten - just by kittens. But now I'm not sure of what I'm doing. In August, I saw an all black feral I'd been feeding a while back who disappeared -- I had been trying to catch him or her a while back. Right after the sighting, I put food out, and got a wireless camera. The camera showed that the cat on the porch who was eating the food at night was not the black cat I had just seen outside, whom I used to feed - it was a new grey tiger cat I had never seen before! He would not let me even look at him at first even through the window. He immediately ran, and if I was anywhere in the vicinity or near a window, he would not come to eat. He only showed up at night, at first. He acted as feral as any cat I've ever seen. I since learned he is male, apparently not altered (I could smell him in the yard, plus he obviously chased off the black cat), and he looks to be between 2-5 years old - though I really have no idea of his age.
A couple of bites I understood
I'll leave out a LOT of detail and all the time spent with him, but to fast forward: After a VERY gradual process (thanks to experience, as well as great advice from this forum!) since then, I can now pet him, and feed him from my hand. If the camera alerts me that he is around I immediately go out to feed him, and he comes running to me now! He has started just in the past 2 days to nap on the porch - that's brand new. He has headbutted me and loves to be pet - on his back and head ONLY! - he has bitten me (HARD) a few times, for moving quickly or accidentally touching his leg or side, when I first was allowed to touch him (he headbutted me first). I could deal with that, I just went slower, though his bite is pretty severe - he has gotten me on both wrists (which when you think about it, look like animal necks, if the hand is the head). He let go immediately both times, seemed over-stimulated, seemed sorry, if cats can seem sorry. I could deal with that, and the bites have been healing. He has jaws and fangs like a mountain lion, btw. Yikes.
He's not used to humans, obviously. I don't think he has ever dealt with one before, for many reasons I've observed. I have always thought that any feral could be 'tamed' or loved, with their restrictions (don't pick some of them up, for example) - and enough patience, still able to give them a loving home. One cat took years to come around; she was the most loving cat EVER.
New biting issue
Today, he was more affectionate than usual. He wanted pets more than food. I pet him quite a while, but had to get back to work, so I turned (I thought slowly, and always saying "I will see you later! be safe!", etc., etc.) to go back inside while he still wanted affection, it seemed -- and he also seemed like he wanted to go inside, too! But I have an older kitty and can't just let him in yet -- and he bit the back of my leg (through jeans, but still drew blood), behind my knee, as I turned to go inside. I said "OW!" loudly - it was automatic- and went inside for hours, without carrying on the lengthy usual goodbye soft words. I should have been more patient, maybe?.. but I also have to work... But, I thought at the time, perhaps I moved too quickly? (But I didn't move quickly....I realized later... I know better.)
So, I went out a few hours later; he was still on the porch! Much longer than ever before. I could see he looked sad (on camera)... I figured it was my fault for leaving while he was telling me he wanted affection (sounds like a sick relationship, haha!). I brought some treats out, and again he was more interested in getting pets - so I did - but also tried to put the treats down too, so I could eventually get back inside. While putting the treats down (a split second of not petting him), he bit my hand, for the first time -- for no apparent reason other than I wasn't petting him enough for a second? And maybe that's why he bit me in the leg earlier, because he wanted more pets and I left -?? I have never worn gloves, but will in the future. I said OW loudly (forgot to hiss, because I was so startled and upset!) and went in for the rest of the night. He sat waiting for me for hours and finally left after sunset. He has never stayed here so long before. I have no idea where he sleeps.
It wasn't petting against his wishes, this time. It was that I dared to STOP petting him when he wanted affection. I should add that I gave him a lot of affection on the earlier visits, but I don't want to overdo it and get bit for THAT reason - so now, it's because it's not enough... sigh.
HOUSE: CRATING? CARRIER? ROOM?
So while I'm emptying out a room for him (from an adult child who still has a ton of stuff in it that I need to find room for!), getting a contractor to fix a door for the room --- I also bought a gate and a screen from Amazon that I'm going to try for the door -- I am wondering (and feeling very sad) if I am doing the right thing, or are some adult tom cats just too much? Sure, getting fixed next week will help, but am I putting myself and my 16.5 year old, small female inside cat in danger? Also I have a dog crate (36") for him, but I can't find a smaller carrier that would work to put inside of it that would be easy to open and close while inside the crate. Should I even crate him since he is already letting me pet him? Will he go crazy? I have put cats in small rooms before, always, so I'm new to crating...
Obviously, I'd keep him separate for quite a while. My cat has seen him through the window and I've already tried scent swapping even though he is still outside. (He's unmoved by it, my female cat hates his smell so far, but it's early...).
I'm feeling suddenly unsure of what I have felt so sure of for months. I left out a LOT of detail, but I've been working to get him inside for quite a while and felt it was going pretty well, until today.
If any part needs clarification, please ask.
Signed,
Dee-pressed.
Hi all,
Background
I thought I was great with ferals, having raised them for over 30 years - kittens as well as adults. I have rarely been bitten - just by kittens. But now I'm not sure of what I'm doing. In August, I saw an all black feral I'd been feeding a while back who disappeared -- I had been trying to catch him or her a while back. Right after the sighting, I put food out, and got a wireless camera. The camera showed that the cat on the porch who was eating the food at night was not the black cat I had just seen outside, whom I used to feed - it was a new grey tiger cat I had never seen before! He would not let me even look at him at first even through the window. He immediately ran, and if I was anywhere in the vicinity or near a window, he would not come to eat. He only showed up at night, at first. He acted as feral as any cat I've ever seen. I since learned he is male, apparently not altered (I could smell him in the yard, plus he obviously chased off the black cat), and he looks to be between 2-5 years old - though I really have no idea of his age.
A couple of bites I understood
I'll leave out a LOT of detail and all the time spent with him, but to fast forward: After a VERY gradual process (thanks to experience, as well as great advice from this forum!) since then, I can now pet him, and feed him from my hand. If the camera alerts me that he is around I immediately go out to feed him, and he comes running to me now! He has started just in the past 2 days to nap on the porch - that's brand new. He has headbutted me and loves to be pet - on his back and head ONLY! - he has bitten me (HARD) a few times, for moving quickly or accidentally touching his leg or side, when I first was allowed to touch him (he headbutted me first). I could deal with that, I just went slower, though his bite is pretty severe - he has gotten me on both wrists (which when you think about it, look like animal necks, if the hand is the head). He let go immediately both times, seemed over-stimulated, seemed sorry, if cats can seem sorry. I could deal with that, and the bites have been healing. He has jaws and fangs like a mountain lion, btw. Yikes.
He's not used to humans, obviously. I don't think he has ever dealt with one before, for many reasons I've observed. I have always thought that any feral could be 'tamed' or loved, with their restrictions (don't pick some of them up, for example) - and enough patience, still able to give them a loving home. One cat took years to come around; she was the most loving cat EVER.
New biting issue
Today, he was more affectionate than usual. He wanted pets more than food. I pet him quite a while, but had to get back to work, so I turned (I thought slowly, and always saying "I will see you later! be safe!", etc., etc.) to go back inside while he still wanted affection, it seemed -- and he also seemed like he wanted to go inside, too! But I have an older kitty and can't just let him in yet -- and he bit the back of my leg (through jeans, but still drew blood), behind my knee, as I turned to go inside. I said "OW!" loudly - it was automatic- and went inside for hours, without carrying on the lengthy usual goodbye soft words. I should have been more patient, maybe?.. but I also have to work... But, I thought at the time, perhaps I moved too quickly? (But I didn't move quickly....I realized later... I know better.)
So, I went out a few hours later; he was still on the porch! Much longer than ever before. I could see he looked sad (on camera)... I figured it was my fault for leaving while he was telling me he wanted affection (sounds like a sick relationship, haha!). I brought some treats out, and again he was more interested in getting pets - so I did - but also tried to put the treats down too, so I could eventually get back inside. While putting the treats down (a split second of not petting him), he bit my hand, for the first time -- for no apparent reason other than I wasn't petting him enough for a second? And maybe that's why he bit me in the leg earlier, because he wanted more pets and I left -?? I have never worn gloves, but will in the future. I said OW loudly (forgot to hiss, because I was so startled and upset!) and went in for the rest of the night. He sat waiting for me for hours and finally left after sunset. He has never stayed here so long before. I have no idea where he sleeps.
It wasn't petting against his wishes, this time. It was that I dared to STOP petting him when he wanted affection. I should add that I gave him a lot of affection on the earlier visits, but I don't want to overdo it and get bit for THAT reason - so now, it's because it's not enough... sigh.
HOUSE: CRATING? CARRIER? ROOM?
So while I'm emptying out a room for him (from an adult child who still has a ton of stuff in it that I need to find room for!), getting a contractor to fix a door for the room --- I also bought a gate and a screen from Amazon that I'm going to try for the door -- I am wondering (and feeling very sad) if I am doing the right thing, or are some adult tom cats just too much? Sure, getting fixed next week will help, but am I putting myself and my 16.5 year old, small female inside cat in danger? Also I have a dog crate (36") for him, but I can't find a smaller carrier that would work to put inside of it that would be easy to open and close while inside the crate. Should I even crate him since he is already letting me pet him? Will he go crazy? I have put cats in small rooms before, always, so I'm new to crating...
Obviously, I'd keep him separate for quite a while. My cat has seen him through the window and I've already tried scent swapping even though he is still outside. (He's unmoved by it, my female cat hates his smell so far, but it's early...).
I'm feeling suddenly unsure of what I have felt so sure of for months. I left out a LOT of detail, but I've been working to get him inside for quite a while and felt it was going pretty well, until today.
If any part needs clarification, please ask.
Signed,
Dee-pressed.
Last edited: