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- Sep 12, 2014
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Well it's been about a week. I wish to report how we're doing.
You know Sakiz is a free cat, doing whatever she wants and going wherever she feels like. I'm also free, and I mind my own business. But she prefers to keep close to me. Sometimes I think it's because she loves me. But sometimes it feels like she's trying to keep her enemies close to her.
Only one big incident happened during this period:
Out of nowhere, she attacked me brutally. It was like she held all the anger inside for one big attack and she released it. Because this was her first attack since I posted the previous message. I took her on my hands, and while she was working on my hands (biting and scratching them, I have two open scratches on my hand), and put her out of the room. And after 3-4 minutes, she opened the door! This was a first. I always thought her weight was not enough for the door to open, but it seems she just did not want to open the door until now. She sat across me, and started to blink her eyes slowly. I could only hold myself for 10 seconds or so, and then I returned the favor.
If I'm not mistaken, that is a sign of affection. But she just attacked me brutally?
After we did this, I tried to do what she did after I beat her (The OP). She tried to approach me, and I crawled to the further spot in the room. First she enjoyed it and played with me like I'm her prey. But then she felt bad. She slowly blinked her eyes while she was approaching to me. I still escaped from her. Then she lied down in the middle of the room, looking away from me. I took this as a "No threat here" gesture. I got into my bed. She waited until I felt safer. Then she came and lied near me. This was a great thing to do for me. I understood how trapped she feels sometimes. And let's be honest, it's hard to read the intentions of the others while you're afraid of them.
Other than this one, she was calm. So was I. Like I said, she stays in the same room with me. She plays around. She got vocal in the last 4-5 days. I think this is because I started to talk to her more often again. Like, I try to warn her when she bites me. "Stop or I'll put you away." This rarely works, and I just put her away. She stopped reacting to her name though, which is sad because I went out to look for her twice thinking she somehow got out of the house. It's cold outside. But she was just hiding somewhere, watching me getting worried.
Her aggression seems to be decreasing. Because she did not attack me out of nowhere except for one time. She lies on my lap, I pet her and then she wants me to put my hands away. If I approach her to pet her, she has very short tolerance about this. I touch her, and I get the look "That's enough for now, human".
I made some experiments to establish some lines, so that we can move forward from there. Either we try to improve things, or we accept that the limit should stay there.
I tested her a couple of times to see if she'd just move away or attack. When she sat on my lap, I started to pet her until she got bored of it. Her first move is to just put my hands away with her paw. If that doesn't work, she exposes her claws and tries to put my hand away. If that does not work, she has a warning bite, a soft one. Sometimes instead of a soft bite, she tries to get away from me. I did not go further because her next move is too obvious
If I hold her, she just waits for me to release her. If I don't, she makes a move to my face, with her claws open. There's no warning here. She gets fed up and just attacks me. If I don't release her, she aggressively bites me, as hard as she can. So, I'm trying to guess the time of her attack on my face. If I can't, I release her after her move to my face. There are no other areas to experiment on, so we'll work on these from now on. I think she could find softer warnings with this.
Here's how I'm dealing with her aggression now: If/When she attacks me or hurts me, I first make a loud sound, if that does not work, I put her out of my room and she stays there for a minute or so, then she starts to meow. I open the door, she rubs herself to my feet and she finds herself a good spot to sit. If she hurt me much, she stays there longer. I think she started to understand that she is going to stay alone if she bites or scratches. Because while we experimented to establish her limits, she was somehow apologetic with her bites, like she was saying "You made me do it, dude.", which is a nice thing in my opinion.
She started to come to my bed before I sleep again. Starting from our move to a new house, she used to wait for me to sleep, then she came to the bed. Now, probably with the help of cold weather, she just jumps in my bed as soon as I get in. Sometimes I try to put her under the blanket. She stays there most of the times.
I hope you guys found time to read this post so far. I miss the bond between us, it is not here yet. Any tips would be appreciated. There are some actions of her which makes me think that she loves me. But I don't feel that it's the same as before. Maybe it's my guilt, I don't know. I feel like she's rarely happy, and I'd like to make her happy more often. She doesn't have to adore me, but she has to feel safe and happy. That's what I'm trying to achieve. And I'm hoping that with that safety and happiness feeling, she might adore me.
Here's a photo of her while I was writing this post.
You know Sakiz is a free cat, doing whatever she wants and going wherever she feels like. I'm also free, and I mind my own business. But she prefers to keep close to me. Sometimes I think it's because she loves me. But sometimes it feels like she's trying to keep her enemies close to her.
Only one big incident happened during this period:
Out of nowhere, she attacked me brutally. It was like she held all the anger inside for one big attack and she released it. Because this was her first attack since I posted the previous message. I took her on my hands, and while she was working on my hands (biting and scratching them, I have two open scratches on my hand), and put her out of the room. And after 3-4 minutes, she opened the door! This was a first. I always thought her weight was not enough for the door to open, but it seems she just did not want to open the door until now. She sat across me, and started to blink her eyes slowly. I could only hold myself for 10 seconds or so, and then I returned the favor.
If I'm not mistaken, that is a sign of affection. But she just attacked me brutally?
After we did this, I tried to do what she did after I beat her (The OP). She tried to approach me, and I crawled to the further spot in the room. First she enjoyed it and played with me like I'm her prey. But then she felt bad. She slowly blinked her eyes while she was approaching to me. I still escaped from her. Then she lied down in the middle of the room, looking away from me. I took this as a "No threat here" gesture. I got into my bed. She waited until I felt safer. Then she came and lied near me. This was a great thing to do for me. I understood how trapped she feels sometimes. And let's be honest, it's hard to read the intentions of the others while you're afraid of them.
Other than this one, she was calm. So was I. Like I said, she stays in the same room with me. She plays around. She got vocal in the last 4-5 days. I think this is because I started to talk to her more often again. Like, I try to warn her when she bites me. "Stop or I'll put you away." This rarely works, and I just put her away. She stopped reacting to her name though, which is sad because I went out to look for her twice thinking she somehow got out of the house. It's cold outside. But she was just hiding somewhere, watching me getting worried.
Her aggression seems to be decreasing. Because she did not attack me out of nowhere except for one time. She lies on my lap, I pet her and then she wants me to put my hands away. If I approach her to pet her, she has very short tolerance about this. I touch her, and I get the look "That's enough for now, human".
I made some experiments to establish some lines, so that we can move forward from there. Either we try to improve things, or we accept that the limit should stay there.
I tested her a couple of times to see if she'd just move away or attack. When she sat on my lap, I started to pet her until she got bored of it. Her first move is to just put my hands away with her paw. If that doesn't work, she exposes her claws and tries to put my hand away. If that does not work, she has a warning bite, a soft one. Sometimes instead of a soft bite, she tries to get away from me. I did not go further because her next move is too obvious
If I hold her, she just waits for me to release her. If I don't, she makes a move to my face, with her claws open. There's no warning here. She gets fed up and just attacks me. If I don't release her, she aggressively bites me, as hard as she can. So, I'm trying to guess the time of her attack on my face. If I can't, I release her after her move to my face. There are no other areas to experiment on, so we'll work on these from now on. I think she could find softer warnings with this.
Here's how I'm dealing with her aggression now: If/When she attacks me or hurts me, I first make a loud sound, if that does not work, I put her out of my room and she stays there for a minute or so, then she starts to meow. I open the door, she rubs herself to my feet and she finds herself a good spot to sit. If she hurt me much, she stays there longer. I think she started to understand that she is going to stay alone if she bites or scratches. Because while we experimented to establish her limits, she was somehow apologetic with her bites, like she was saying "You made me do it, dude.", which is a nice thing in my opinion.
She started to come to my bed before I sleep again. Starting from our move to a new house, she used to wait for me to sleep, then she came to the bed. Now, probably with the help of cold weather, she just jumps in my bed as soon as I get in. Sometimes I try to put her under the blanket. She stays there most of the times.
I hope you guys found time to read this post so far. I miss the bond between us, it is not here yet. Any tips would be appreciated. There are some actions of her which makes me think that she loves me. But I don't feel that it's the same as before. Maybe it's my guilt, I don't know. I feel like she's rarely happy, and I'd like to make her happy more often. She doesn't have to adore me, but she has to feel safe and happy. That's what I'm trying to achieve. And I'm hoping that with that safety and happiness feeling, she might adore me.
Here's a photo of her while I was writing this post.