Hi. I lost my little buddy of 16 years, Meph, last night. I am just broken, and I have so many questions. Please, help me understand if you are able.
*Warning* This is a detailed description of my loss to help everyone understand my questions.
A few years ago, we lost the last cat that Meph had grown up with. He didn't like her much, but he also didn't like being alone. We eventually got another cat to help us all heal, but he liked her even less. He was old at that time. He had always been frail, and now he just seemed tired. That's when we decided we wouldn't put him through anything overly traumatic just to increase his life-span. It seemed like it would be cruel.
In October, his vet said he was in good health, but his heart was a little slow and the rhythm was off. A cardiologist would be $500 and although we have it, we're struggling to find a way to retire and pay medical bills and still live. Also, my guy was a finicky eater and hated being forced to do anything. It was hard enough for him to trust humans without us torturing him on a daily basis. We decided to wait and see if it got worse. Keeping with our earlier decision, we weren't in favor of putting him through any excess trauma.
Then, around Monday this week he suddenly got lethargic and stopped moving around as much. He ate and poddied, but only had one or two bowl movements through the week and didn't come to find me anymore. He would always sit with me while I watched TV, lay down with me for a while when I went to bed, and lay with me after I woke up but hadn't gotten out of bed yet. That all stopped. He sneezed a little and white mucus would come out. He also huffed a lot. Like he was trying to cough but couldn't.
Last night the vet said it was probably his heart. It would take thousands of dollars, 2-3 days in a hospital, and aggressive treatment to keep him alive. He may or may not make it, and he may or may not have any quality of life. That sounded horrific and I couldn't do it to him. The vet also strongly advised against it and recommended euthanasia instead. If I did not put him to sleep it was likely that he would suffocate at home, they said.
I always put quality of life first above longevity for my cats. I debated for almost 45 minutes before deciding to let him rest.
1. I wonder if it was really his heart. The vet seemed sure, but now our other cat is hoarse today. 1.1: Could it have been pneumonia? 1.2: Would his chances really have been any better if it was pneumonia? He was always a thin, frail cat. I'm not sure he could have survived either way. He had lost all his energy and was not able to support himself even. Please be honest here. Was I rash? Or was it the best thing for him given his frailness? 1.3: Would the answer be different if he were younger and healthier? I may need to make this decision for another cat someday.
2. I hear that if it was a heart problem and we saw the cardiologist they would have prescribed daily medications. I also really think daily medications would have upset him and made him unhappy. It seemed traumatic for him, which we were trying to avoid. Plus, I'm reading from some vets that they don't see a significant difference in the outcomes of cats with heart problems who take the medicines versus those who don't. It also might have cost a fortune since I hear you can spend over $100 a month on those types of medicines, plus expensive visits with the cardiologist every few months. So, if I had taken him to the vet more regularly and caught it sooner, and come up with the money, and forced him to take medications... What do all of you think? 2.1: Would it have given him more time, and would it have been quality time for him? 2.2: Is the lesson that I should learn that I need to be more vigilant and my babies can still have a high quality of life if I try hard enough, or is it that I have to expect shorter lifespans if I want my babys' quality of life to be high? 2.3: Now I wonder if it is unfair to say I won't force an old cat to take medicines and go to vets often, all of which he hated, just because he doesn't have much time left. It seemed like I was being kind, giving him more comfort (quality of life) even though I knew it would hurt me more to lose him sooner. Was it crueler to him to shorten his life in the hopes that he would be happier even though I have no solid proof that he was happier?
I think this post is already too long, so I'll save my other questions for later. Thank you for reading this very long post.
*Warning* This is a detailed description of my loss to help everyone understand my questions.
A few years ago, we lost the last cat that Meph had grown up with. He didn't like her much, but he also didn't like being alone. We eventually got another cat to help us all heal, but he liked her even less. He was old at that time. He had always been frail, and now he just seemed tired. That's when we decided we wouldn't put him through anything overly traumatic just to increase his life-span. It seemed like it would be cruel.
In October, his vet said he was in good health, but his heart was a little slow and the rhythm was off. A cardiologist would be $500 and although we have it, we're struggling to find a way to retire and pay medical bills and still live. Also, my guy was a finicky eater and hated being forced to do anything. It was hard enough for him to trust humans without us torturing him on a daily basis. We decided to wait and see if it got worse. Keeping with our earlier decision, we weren't in favor of putting him through any excess trauma.
Then, around Monday this week he suddenly got lethargic and stopped moving around as much. He ate and poddied, but only had one or two bowl movements through the week and didn't come to find me anymore. He would always sit with me while I watched TV, lay down with me for a while when I went to bed, and lay with me after I woke up but hadn't gotten out of bed yet. That all stopped. He sneezed a little and white mucus would come out. He also huffed a lot. Like he was trying to cough but couldn't.
Last night the vet said it was probably his heart. It would take thousands of dollars, 2-3 days in a hospital, and aggressive treatment to keep him alive. He may or may not make it, and he may or may not have any quality of life. That sounded horrific and I couldn't do it to him. The vet also strongly advised against it and recommended euthanasia instead. If I did not put him to sleep it was likely that he would suffocate at home, they said.
I always put quality of life first above longevity for my cats. I debated for almost 45 minutes before deciding to let him rest.
1. I wonder if it was really his heart. The vet seemed sure, but now our other cat is hoarse today. 1.1: Could it have been pneumonia? 1.2: Would his chances really have been any better if it was pneumonia? He was always a thin, frail cat. I'm not sure he could have survived either way. He had lost all his energy and was not able to support himself even. Please be honest here. Was I rash? Or was it the best thing for him given his frailness? 1.3: Would the answer be different if he were younger and healthier? I may need to make this decision for another cat someday.
2. I hear that if it was a heart problem and we saw the cardiologist they would have prescribed daily medications. I also really think daily medications would have upset him and made him unhappy. It seemed traumatic for him, which we were trying to avoid. Plus, I'm reading from some vets that they don't see a significant difference in the outcomes of cats with heart problems who take the medicines versus those who don't. It also might have cost a fortune since I hear you can spend over $100 a month on those types of medicines, plus expensive visits with the cardiologist every few months. So, if I had taken him to the vet more regularly and caught it sooner, and come up with the money, and forced him to take medications... What do all of you think? 2.1: Would it have given him more time, and would it have been quality time for him? 2.2: Is the lesson that I should learn that I need to be more vigilant and my babies can still have a high quality of life if I try hard enough, or is it that I have to expect shorter lifespans if I want my babys' quality of life to be high? 2.3: Now I wonder if it is unfair to say I won't force an old cat to take medicines and go to vets often, all of which he hated, just because he doesn't have much time left. It seemed like I was being kind, giving him more comfort (quality of life) even though I knew it would hurt me more to lose him sooner. Was it crueler to him to shorten his life in the hopes that he would be happier even though I have no solid proof that he was happier?
I think this post is already too long, so I'll save my other questions for later. Thank you for reading this very long post.