Kitten to multi-cat household introduction not progressing

[vpaon06]

I'm based in the UAE. I'm definitely gonna try the local channels and social media groups. Already posted on some of these. Fingers crossed.

Try to see if there are some expat groups on Facebook. Expats are typically well off enough to be able to afford pets, and Westerners typically don't have the same stigma around stray cats as non-Westerners do (speaking as a non-Westerner living in a Western country.)

 

[Sarah M]

Try to see if there are some expat groups on Facebook. Expats are typically well off enough to be able to afford pets, and Westerners typically don't have the same stigma around stray cats as non-Westerners do (speaking as a non-Westerner living in a Western country.)

Yes, I'm definitely gonna try the expat groups. Issue is many individuals rescue strays and there is usually a flooding of posts on these groups. I know people who have been trying get kittens adopted for almost a year now. I'm definitely gonna try tho.

 

[rubysmama]

Do you recommend I try to re-introduce them after maybe a break?

Honestly, I'm not sure what to suggest. I mean, I guess it can't hurt, and maybe after a bit of a break, it might work. Is there anyone who could take the kitten for a few days or so, so that you could bring it back into your apartment, almost like totally starting over again? No idea honestly if it would help or hurt, but just an idea that popped into my head.

I really feel for you and the situation, as I know you're just trying to give homes to stray cats, and want everyone, felines and humans, to be happy.

I searched again and found more threads, with titles similar to yours. I didn't read them, but maybe there might be something helpful.

Help - has anyone successfully overcome a resident cat attacking a new kitten?
Intro issues - new cat is attacking resident cat
New cat attacking resident cat
Resident cat keeps viciously attacking new kitten
Resident Cat rejecting new cats and attacking me!

 

[Sarah M]

Honestly, I'm not sure what to suggest. I mean, I guess it can't hurt, and maybe after a bit of a break, it might work. Is there anyone who could take the kitten for a few days or so, so that you could bring it back into your apartment, almost like totally starting over again? No idea honestly if it would help or hurt, but just an idea that popped into my head.

I really feel for you and the situation, as I know you're just trying to give homes to stray cats, and want everyone, felines and humans, to be happy.

I searched again and found more threads, with titles similar to yours. I didn't read them, but maybe there might be something helpful.

Help - has anyone successfully overcome a resident cat attacking a new kitten?
Intro issues - new cat is attacking resident cat
New cat attacking resident cat
Resident cat keeps viciously attacking new kitten
Resident Cat rejecting new cats and attacking me!

Thank you for the links. I read them and the consensus seems to be that true intent to injure is rare, and there is not much can be done to resolve the issue.

For context, my 4 year old first attacked the kitten when she was barely 3 months old. And she was quite malnourished, so she at least looked smaller. So there is no form of protective instinct or anything that was there that I could tap into. At this point, I don't want to put the kitten through any more stress. She is already terrified of the cats. I will try to find her a home where she is the only cat. I don’t know how, but I will have to up my efforts to find her a good home.

You guys have been amazing! I love the support and the genuine concern you guys are showing for a stranger and her cats. Such an amazing community

 

[Sarah M]

I have a question. I don't know if it will work or not. But can I keep the 4 year old bully in a large dog crate, I have one already, and then let Momo be free so that the 4 year old becomes desensitised? But also cannot reach the kitten to hurt her? Will that work or make it worse?

 

[rubysmama]

I have a question. I don't know if it will work or not. But can I keep the 4 year old bully in a large dog crate, I have one already, and then let Momo be free so that the 4 year old becomes desensitised? But also cannot reach the kitten to hurt her? Will that work or make it worse?

I honestly don't know, so can't really advise. However, maybe it's worth trying and see what happens. At least no one could get hurt that way. And I can't see it making things any worse.

Tagging A ArtNJ as "desensitized" reminds me of his spider analogy he often quotes.

 

[ArtNJ]

I have a question. I don't know if it will work or not. But can I keep the 4 year old bully in a large dog crate, I have one already, and then let Momo be free so that the 4 year old becomes desensitised? But also cannot reach the kitten to hurt her? Will that work or make it worse?

The idea with a crate is the same as the idea with a gate -- visual access without risk. Sometimes a gate is quite hard for folks to setup, but it has some major advantages over a crate. For one, your bully might be stressed in there, which is counter-productive. For two, you can keep a gate up 24/7; the crate you maybe do for an hour or two now and then. So we mostly only recommend a crate when a gate is impossible due to the home setup.

Forgive me, we've covered a lot of ground and I'd rather not re-read, but I thought you used a gate in the doorway for a visual access step?

Gates can be tricky because sometimes cats jump over store bought baby gates and such. So you kind of have to rig something. We do have a few pictures of how folks have done that in our intros guide. How To Successfully Introduce Cats [The Ultimate Guide] - TheCatSite

 

[Sarah M]

Thanks for both replies. Yes, I had used a pet gate for visual access. I had set it up so they couldn't jump over. And none did.

Right now I have found a family friend interested in fostering Momo for a week, with the promise that if the kitten adjusts with her (and she adjusts with the kitten), she will adopt her. She doesn't have any other cats. She is only hesitating cause she has never had pets so she doesn't know. I will be providing all the things required. So fingers crossed.

In case she doesn't adopt, I will get a week to regroup and think about the next step. I can deep clean Momos room and try from scratch if my friend doesn't keep her. I have also read up on vanilla extract, which I can try using if re-introducing.

Again, thanks a lot for replying to my long messages. I am thankful to have found such an amazing community. Looking forward to be a part of this community going forward.

 

[aelovina]

Hi! I don't know if you've gotten an answer yet but I'm in a very similar situation. We have 2 residents and 2 new cats we took in after an emergeny rehome situation. All cats are adults and fixed. Sunny, our oldest (who is usually very sweet and timid) would flat out attack the newest cats, in particular the smallest one who won't stand up to him. Our introductions have been going on since September and it felt any progress made would disappear when Sunny would attack without warning. (The rest of the cats get along fine)

So, we went to the vet. Sunny's healthy and the vet said he was being territorial, and sometimes territorial cats will attack/chase suddenly without the typical warning signs, which can stem from anxiety. We'd already tried Feliway/positive reinforcement/more resources, so the vet suggested Prozac (fluoxetine).

I know there's some stigma against 'drugging' cats, but we tried it and are at the end of the five weeks of waiting for it to fully kick in. Sunny has already improved immensely. He still doesn't love the newbies, but he's been better. A lot of his behavior that was related to anxiety has also vanished, and he's much more brave (not afraid of the vaccum, trashbags, or the doorbell) and a lot less troublesome (scratching on doors, keeping us up at night.) He's also become more affecionate and playful.

This isn't a perfect solution and certainly has its downsides to consider with a vet, but if your kitty has territorial/status aggression this might be a gamechanger. (and if it works you can wean her off after all cats get used to each other)

There's also the 'vanilla scent' method to cconsider if you haven't yet!

Best of luck!

 

[ArtNJ]

I'm glad I didn't hallucinate you using a gate! There are two limited situations where a gate is viable but a crate can still be helpful. Both involve avoidance behaviors -- i.e. in a large house, where a stressed cat simply avoids coming close to the gate. Or indoor/outdoor cats sometimes avoid the house entirely if they are stressed. Other than those gate-avoidance situations, no, I don't see a crate helping giving that you already used the gate.

The basic idea is desensitization as you and rubysmama were talking about. So if there is a lot of gate-avoidance, obviously you aren't getting that. I mean, one can't expect cats to constantly be seeing each other across the gate, but generally there will be enough if the gate is up 24/7 that it will be more valuable than a couple of hours of crate time.

 

[rubysmama]

Right now I have found a family friend interested in fostering Momo for a week, with the promise that if the kitten adjusts with her (and she adjusts with the kitten), she will adopt her. She doesn't have any other cats. She is only hesitating cause she has never had pets so she doesn't know. I will be providing all the things required. So fingers crossed.

Fingers crossed this works out as
a) Momo would be an only cat

b) you know she'd be in a good home, plus could get updates on her
c) your friend would have a lovely feline companion.

Since your friend has never had pets before, here's a few TCS articles you might want to pass along to her, so she can learn more about being a cat mom.

This one probably covers pretty much everything:
First Time Cat Owner's Guide - TheCatSite

You may or may not want to show her these ones.
15 Things You Should Know Before Adopting A Cat - TheCatSite
How Much Time Does It Take To Care For A Cat? [Answered] - TheCatSite

Bringing Home A New Cat - The Complete Guide - TheCatSite
9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment or House - TheCatSite
13 Practical Ways to Kitten-Proof Your Home - TheCatSite

In case she doesn't adopt, I will get a week to regroup and think about the next step. I can deep clean Momos room and try from scratch if my friend doesn't keep her. I have also read up on vanilla extract, which I can try using if re-introducing.

Hopefully you won't have to worry about the above, but if it comes to you needing to bring Momo back home with you and the other cats, then maybe starting all over again it might be different. If it doesn't work out with your friend, though, let us know a bit before you plan to bring Momo back, and we'll try to make suggestions to make things go better the 2nd time around.

 

[vpaon06]

Thanks for both replies. Yes, I had used a pet gate for visual access. I had set it up so they couldn't jump over. And none did.

Right now I have found a family friend interested in fostering Momo for a week, with the promise that if the kitten adjusts with her (and she adjusts with the kitten), she will adopt her. She doesn't have any other cats. She is only hesitating cause she has never had pets so she doesn't know. I will be providing all the things required. So fingers crossed.

In case she doesn't adopt, I will get a week to regroup and think about the next step. I can deep clean Momos room and try from scratch if my friend doesn't keep her. I have also read up on vanilla extract, which I can try using if re-introducing.

Again, thanks a lot for replying to my long messages. I am thankful to have found such an amazing community. Looking forward to be a part of this community going forward.

I hope it works out with your friend! For what it's worth, I was never really a cat person and I ended up fostering a street cat who ended up staying with me. Sometimes one doesn't know they love cats until one walks into their life

P.S.: If worst comes to worst and you need to redo the introductions, I thought of one more thing - when your cats had visual access, was Momo always in her room and the rest of them roaming freely? So they weren't used to seeing her invade their space? But, to be honest, I still think that rehoming her is the best and safest solution. Especially if your other cats started attacking her too. Some cats will just never get along, especially if now Momo is traumatized.

My older cat, who is *generally* quite friendly and adjusted to a new kitten in just a couple of weeks, got once attacked by a neighbor's cat. Till this day whenever she sees him (she's no the balcony and he's in the garden), she goes nuts and is hissing, yowling, spitting and throwing paws. There is one episode of My Cat From Hell with Jackson Galaxy where even he says that in some cases, permanent separation might be the best solution in some cases.

 

[Sarah M]

I'm glad I didn't hallucinate you using a gate! There are two limited situations where a gate is viable but a crate can still be helpful. Both involve avoidance behaviors -- i.e. in a large house, where a stressed cat simply avoids coming close to the gate. Or indoor/outdoor cats sometimes avoid the house entirely if they are stressed. Other than those gate-avoidance situations, no, I don't see a crate helping giving that you already used the gate.

The basic idea is desensitization as you and rubysmama were talking about. So if there is a lot of gate-avoidance, obviously you aren't getting that. I mean, one can't expect cats to constantly be seeing each other across the gate, but generally there will be enough if the gate is up 24/7 that it will be more valuable than a couple of hours of crate time.

Thanks, that's an interesting take. There was some gate avoidance from Momo as she is very scared of the resident cats. Maybe that was the issue? But there wasn't any hissing or growling or swatting, going on at the gate per se.

In the end, I couldn't predict the 4 year old's behaviour. She didn't have the usual signs and the attacks happened very suddenly when there was even no staring.

I have just given Momo to my friend. In case she decides to bring her back to me, I will restart the intro process and set up her basecamp in a different part of the house. Maybe. I could also try with the crate.

 

[Sarah M]

Fingers crossed this works out as
a) Momo would be an only cat

b) you know she'd be in a good home, plus could get updates on her
c) your friend would have a lovely feline companion.

Since your friend has never had pets before, here's a few TCS articles you might want to pass along to her, so she can learn more about being a cat mom.

This one probably covers pretty much everything:
First Time Cat Owner's Guide - TheCatSite

You may or may not want to show her these ones.
15 Things You Should Know Before Adopting A Cat - TheCatSite
How Much Time Does It Take To Care For A Cat? [Answered] - TheCatSite

Bringing Home A New Cat - The Complete Guide - TheCatSite
9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment or House - TheCatSite
13 Practical Ways to Kitten-Proof Your Home - TheCatSite



Hopefully you won't have to worry about the above, but if it comes to you needing to bring Momo back home with you and the other cats, then maybe starting all over again it might be different. If it doesn't work out with your friend, though, let us know a bit before you plan to bring Momo back, and we'll try to make suggestions to make things go better the 2nd time around.

Thanks, your links are always so helpful!

She just picked up Momo. Yes, I hope she adjusts well with Momo. She is currently staying with her brother, who loves cats, so that will ease the transition. They were planning to get a cat for a while, apparently, and so maybe the stars have aligned. I hope Momo adjusts with them and gets the love she so clearly deserves.

I have provided an entire month's food, carrier, litter box, litter sand, dry food, wet food, Momo's scratchers, Momo's beds, her blanket, and also her toys. So she is all set for a month, even more, if you ask me. I have also shared the links you sent. The more she knows the better.

Yes, if it does come to a point where Momo needs to come back, I will post on here and ask for suggestions. Maybe do things a bit differently. Let's hope tho that it doesn't come to that. Momo will flourish in an only cat home.

 

[rubysmama]

She just picked up Momo. Yes, I hope she adjusts well with Momo. She is currently staying with her brother, who loves cats, so that will ease the transition. They were planning to get a cat for a while, apparently, and so maybe the stars have aligned. I hope Momo adjusts with them and gets the love she so clearly deserves.

Fingers crossed your friend and her brother fall in love with Momo.
Do let us know how things go.

 

[Sarah M]

Fingers crossed your friend and her brother fall in love with Momo.
Do let us know how things go.

So, basically, my friend is very anxious because Momo is anxious. I told her it will take a few days for Momo to adjust and be comfortable in a new space. But I guess my friend was not prepared for this. She is going to bring Momo back today evening.

 

[Sarah M]

So, this was my original post

Let me put names to these cats. Oldest is Nayla, she is 6 years old. Second is Snow, 5 years old (Egyptian Mau, white) and third is Kaiya, who is 4 years old and is a ginger tabby. Pictures attached.

Momo (brown tabby) was rescued when she was few weeks old, I tried the introduction process as mentioned in my thread above but it failed. Kaiya is the main aggressor. She has attacked Momo with intent to injure. The other day Nayla also attacked her, but it was more chase swatting. But I got hurt in trying to intervene.

But I decided to rehome Momo. I found a friend who agreed to foster her for a week with the intent to adopt her if they adjust well together. However, I just received word that she is bringing Momo back. She couldn't allow time to Momo to adjust. Momo was understandably scared and was hiding, but my friend didn't like that. So Momo is coming back.

I need to reintroduce them. I have already posted on social media sites and told all my contacts about Momo's adoption, but have not received any response. I need to make sure she is integrated into the cat family by June because I will be moving to a smaller place.

It's worth mentioning that I work 9 to 5 and can only do anything after I am back home from work. So I do have a limited time window to work with. I just want them to co-exist peacefully, even if they are not friendly.

It's also worth mentioning that since Momo left, Snow and Kaiya have become really concerned and are searching for her. Looking for her in every corner of the home and meowing more than usual. Nayla, on the other hand, has become more relaxed.

I already have plenty of resources for the cats so they are not competing for resources.

I am going to use vanilla extract today on all the resident cats and also on Momo. I will give her a day or two to settle back down because she is very scared. And this must have stressed her out a lot.

Kaiya is usually the most dominant of the three. The other two don't have a problem with it. Nayla is happy as long as she gets to be with me and Snow is a bit aloof so she doesn't really care too much. Nayla is also a scaredy cat, Snow is confident and very chill, Kaiya seems that she is chill but she is actually also just a scaredy cat from within.

Momo is THE scaredy cat. She has been since before the attack. That is her nature. She runs and hides. This is basically what leads the cats to chase her. She plays mouse and the other cats play cats.

I am very tensed. Please all suggestions are welcome. I really don't want to drug the cats, someone suggested in the original thread that they had success with Prozac. I really don't want to drug the cats. Do you think I really should?

Also, there is a newborn in the house. Less than a month old. My brother had a baby. How does that change things?

Also, I am the only one who can or will do the intro process. No help from family members. Please help me.

 

[Sarah M]

Hi guys, so Momo will be back in the evening. I have posted another thread.

Also, forgive me for being a noob, but how do you tag people in the posts? Sorry, I'm a bit of a luddite and not very technologically advanced.

 

[Sarah M]

So update. Momo is back. My friend came unannounced and so I have put Momo back to the spare room. I am relieved that she is back. I am feeling determined to try again and try harder. I have already bonded with Momo and she was rubbing against me and sitting on me so much. She also feels relieved to be back.

There are ads posted on all possible channels, so I am not touching those. But there is little hope of Momo being rehomed.

The baby will be living with his maternal grandparents for a month, so the home will quiet down a bit and maybe that will help. The baby and his mom will be going in a week I think. In this week, I will focus on scent with the aid of vanilla extract.

I am going to treat it as if Momo is an adult. There might be a difference of a couple months she she was a rescue, so her *true* age will not matter.

What I am doing right now is letting Momo rest. Poor thing is stressed. In the meantime, I am dousing my three cats in Vanilla extract and am also going to be spraying it around the house. So that they don't feel disconnected with the house itself.

I will also douse Momo in it maybe later today or tomorrow morning and then do the scent exchange followed by site swapping. No visual access. How long to site swap till I know they are ready to see her? And what do I do once they do see her? Wet food?

Treat me like I don't know anything. I have already read and reread the links shared by Ruby'smama. I really want to succeed at this.

 

[rubysmama]

Although you love Momo and she you, so her being back with you is good in that respect, I really, really was hoping the week away from the other cats would give everyone, including you, a chance to relax, regroup, and then restart the introduction process if needed.

So Momo being back so soon, and unexpectedly really makes things more difficult for you.

I really don't know what to suggest that you haven't already done, as it did seem you were doing everything recommended by all the cat introduction articles / sites.

About the vanilla extract, here's the "directions" from the Ode to vanilla extract thread. So it may be a case of "less is more", so I'd say don't overdo it.

For future readers who may not know about this trick, douse is a figure of speach.

You put a dab of vanilla extract under the chins, at the base of their neck (by the spine) and at the base of the tail (again, on the spine not the underside of the tail!) of all of the cats to make them smell the same. Cats recognize each other by scent, so if that kitty smells the same as "me", the he must be a friend.

Not sure if this has come up already, or if you can even get it there, but some people find Feliway helpful. Others not so much though. But something to maybe look into. FELIWAY® | Calming Pheromone Diffusers for Cats & Felines

About Prozac, I feel the same way about drugging the cats, but maybe it is something to talk to your vet about.

There's several threads that discuss it. Here's the ones with aggression in the title:
Aggression/Inappropriate Urination - Prozac?
Aggression in Cat, PROZAC?
Prozac For Cat Aggression
Aggressive Cat, Vet Prescribed Prozac
Aggression behavior - Calming collar/diffuser/prozac

Here's the link to all the threads with "Prozac" in the title:
Search Results for Query: prozac

Stress, both the cats and your own, could be a factor as well. Maybe things will improve once the baby and his mom are gone.

Can't remember if I've posted this before, but here's the link to Stress in Cats – The Ultimate Guide – Cat Articles

About tagging other members, this should explain everything:
Did Someone Mention... You? - TheCatSite

Oh, almost forgot to mention the pics of your cats. They're all beautiful.