Just Need to Vent

[3catsn1dog]

Some of you may remember my speel psycho raving lunatic drama llama vent about the holidays last year with the steps.....




HERE WE GO AGAIN!


Can I just crawl in a corner and cry because I hate that these people can hit such a sensitive nerve by making me feel unwanted and useless. I hate those feelings with a passion and I should be able to just be the bigger person and not let it get to me but I cant. It is like a billion mean nasty needles poking at me. I hate it. I hate that they feel its ok to make someone feel like dog poop because of a stupid piece of paper. Not that we dont respect marriage but we dont feel that we need to rush into anything like that especially since we both have parents who divorced. So why rush, we know we love each other, we know we want to be together why is that stupid piece of paper so important. Seriously we have better things to spend 50 bucks on. Its just depressing. I want these ignorant buttheads to stop getting under my skin and I dont know how to stop it.

Can someone please just turn me into Rip Van Winkle till January 2nd so I dont have to deal with this for another year. I hate feeling so crappy and useless and unwanted and unworthy.

Bleh I just wanna cry, I hate the holidays. I really do.

 

[tara g]

I feel ya on holiday crap and drama

I'm escaping it this year, though I probably will have all sorts of issues come up between now and then (even though my plans have been set in place over 2 years). Just run off and have Christmas with us in NJ, my uncle loves feeding people

That is messed up they make you feel so terrible

I never got what the big deal about rushing into marriage was either. Granted I got married young (right before I was 21), I never got what the difference a piece of paper really truly makes when it comes to the solidification of a relationship if you're secure and happy just the way you are

If you wanna be together, just be together! Sheesh I don't know why people can't accept that stuff!

 

[3catsn1dog]

Maybe ill hog tie df into the explorer and meet ya in jersey.

Thanks Tara sometimes I feel like im crazy cuz im not one to just pretend something is wrong.........I just can't so it when im mad im mad when im sad I cry when I have pms.......RUN. LOL somehow though I will muddle thru.

 

[ldg]

Small minded people you'd LIKE to care about can really hurt you. I'm so sorry, it really does suck.

 

[-_aj_-]

Oh no not again you don't deserve to be treat like this each year

Take it easy and Everytime you here something negative sing the llama song in your head

 

[tara g]

Originally Posted by 3CatsN1Dog

Maybe ill hog tie df into the explorer and meet ya in jersey.

I'll ride out and help ya tie him up

People are just terrible sometimes though. I hate that you have to go through so much crap every year

Oh, and now I'm singing llama songs in my head.

 

[resqchick]

I feel your pain. I love the holidays, hate Christmas day since we have to drive into queens every. single. year. to spend the day with 30 people that don't like me, and I don't honestly care if they do or don't.

I'll come meet you guys in jersey, ok? We can also see the tree in Manhattan, and skate at Rockefeller Center!!

 

[tara g]

Originally Posted by resqchick

I'll come meet you guys in jersey, ok? We can also see the tree in Manhattan, and skate at Rockefeller Center!!

I so want to do that this year while I'm there. I never have, in all the years I lived 40mi outside Manhattan

 

[3catsn1dog]

You guys are awesome. Im glad I have tcs cuz otherwise id go crazy.

 

[margecat]

Sounds like my "family". Oh, wait a minute, they don't even speak to me (for the last 6 years), so I should re-phrase that.

I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but am I right in that they think you and your significant other should get married, and they bother you about it when you get together? If do, that's childish. I will be honest, and say that my ideas about marriage seems much different than yours; however, you must do what you want in that area--and NOBODY, family or otherwise, has the right to lecture you on that. You're an adult, and you're doing what's right for you, and they should respect that. They should be grateful you're happy! I think that most parents wold like to see their children (happily) married, but really shouldn't push the kids, and keep their opinions to themselves.

This is going to sound preachy, but I don't mean it that way: it's not the piece of paper; I think it's really the formal commitment (i.e., some sort of public, ceremonial declaration of the intent to stay together eternally) that is meaning of "married" to most people. The paper is only a legal document, you're correct; but that document signifies, to many people in our Western culture, a permanent (hopefully!) romantic commitment. I think that's why people place importance in it. Just my humble opinion.

 

[catsallaround]

I understand family drama-I am white and husband was supposed to be in an arranged marriage and they still are not "over" it.

 

[duchess15]

I don't know the history behind your story, but all in all, from what I could gather it just sucks!

Don't feel bad...I am just like you. I let people who don't matter to me hurt me by obsessing over their hurtful opinions. I don't know why I am like that, but I wish I didn't care most of the time.

It is your decision if you want to marry or not. As long as you are happy and you both agree I don't see why you should be forced or feel bad for not having that piece of paper.

No one should have a right to judge you for not being married. It is not any of their business.

All that matters if you are both happy. Nothing else does.

 

[3catsn1dog]

Originally Posted by MargeCat

Sounds like my "family". Oh, wait a minute, they don't even speak to me (for the last 6 years), so I should re-phrase that.

I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but am I right in that they think you and your significant other should get married, and they bother you about it when you get together? If do, that's childish. I will be honest, and say that my ideas about marriage seems much different than yours; however, you must do what you want in that area--and NOBODY, family or otherwise, has the right to lecture you on that. You're an adult, and you're doing what's right for you, and they should respect that. They should be grateful you're happy! I think that most parents wold like to see their children (happily) married, but really shouldn't push the kids, and keep their opinions to themselves.

This is going to sound preachy, but I don't mean it that way: it's not the piece of paper; I think it's really the formal commitment (i.e., some sort of public, ceremonial declaration of the intent to stay together eternally) that is meaning of "married" to most people. The paper is only a legal document, you're correct; but that document signifies, to many people in our Western culture, a permanent (hopefully!) romantic commitment. I think that's why people place importance in it. Just my humble opinion.

Its not that we dont view marriage as a commitment or anything like that its more that we dont feel its right to pressure anyone into rushing into getting married when its such a HUGE commitment. Because both myself and DF have been thru the whole divorce thing with our parents we both have the same viewpoint, it may be ok for others but divorce is NOT an option for us. When we get married its forever, thru thick and thin, good times bad times, everything. Because we view it to be such a huge commitment we dont want to rush into it and we dont want to feel pressured into it. We are both the type where when someone harps on somethng sooooo badly that its obnoxious and annoying, we will do the opposite thing just out of spite. Both the step siblings got married right away just to have kids. They rushed into it soooo fast that now its like nothing but problems. We have been together for 4 yrs and best friends for 7 we are past the googly eyed stage and all that and are into the comfortable sitting at home on the couch going to bed at 8pm stage. LOL Eventually we will get married, hopefully as sneaky as possible with noone around....part of that spite thing plus since noone supports us for anything at all whatsoever then we would rather do it alone then have that fake "oooo emmm geeee congrats" (insert eye roll during congrats).




Behhh Im not looking forward to the holidays, and to top it off DF has to go to Fl for a tool show for his new job....

Im gonna have two and a half days laying in bed with Franklin and the munsters in my jammies...eating nothing but junk food. Two and a half days without my man child. Im sleeping in!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[darkmavis]

Easy solution. Move across the country to California like I did!!

OK, so I didn't move to get away from family, but I realised after I moved that all those holiday obligations with the parts of family I don't like were gone! This will be the 5th xmas since I moved, and I haven't been back to PA once for it and don't plan to. First of all because holiday travel is a nightmare, and second of all I just don't want to. I do feel bad that the last few years my mom hasn't been able to come visit for xmas because of new jobs, but I still plan to stay on the west coast in late December.

I hope you're able to just grin and bear it, if nothing else. Or have xmas with Tara, that sounds like a great time! Good luck with it all!!

 

[larussa]

I feel for you. Don't rush into marriage and don't listen to anybody that thinks you should. As others have said, if you're happy leave well enough alone. My boyfriend has mentioned marriage a few times and I just said 'no'. I was married once and that was enough for me. I hope you are able to enjoy the holidays no matter what.

 

[resqchick]

Originally Posted by LaRussa

I feel for you. Don't rush into marriage and don't listen to anybody that thinks you should. As others have said, if you're happy leave well enough alone. My boyfriend has mentioned marriage a few times and I just said 'no'. I was married once and that was enough for me. I hope you are able to enjoy the holidays no matter what.

Agree! I've told DH, if God forbid anything ever happened to him, I'm NEVER getting married again. Ever. If it's right for you, that's one thing, but for your family to keep at you for not doing things the way they perceive to be correct is wrong.

Be happy. Life is SO short.

 

[tavia'smom]

I am sorry that you are having so much trouble with your family. I think you and your bf are the only ones who can decide what is best for you. I hope it gets better for you. Maybe just have your own dinner plans at home, or you could come to Kentucky we always cook a huge meal.