I've been adopted by someone elses cat...

[jenniferh]

Back story...

Last summer my neighbours moved in from a house two streets away. The same cat used to come and visit them and play with their three year old. Now since they have moved beside me the cat has followed them too - and since adopted my home as its own.

I know the woman who owns her and her family and my family do NOT get on!

The cat appears at my bedroom window a couple times a day and if open it comes on in. It had also come through the bedroom window at front of house (still no idea how she managed that), the living room window and the front door.

It has been happened for a few weeks now where she would come by regularly - every day or every other day. I would let her stay in my bedroom for an hour or so and she just usually climbed on my shoulder to sleep or spent time grooming herself before i put her out. 

A few nights ago she was at my window at about 2 am and i let her in because she was crying and meowing so much and the weather was so bad i felt so sad for her. I let her in and she slept on my bed until 7 am when i put her out.  Since then she has been appearing 5-6 times a day and when i go to remove her she is much more... reluctant to get out. 

I have never fed her and just want to know the best way to discourage her from coming over.

Is it just a case of having to keep the windows shut until she moves on somewhere else?  Also why has she chosen me, since i am not feeding her i thought here wouldn't be such an attractive place? She is well cared for and a lovely, friendly cat too, and so pretty!

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[mservant]

If a cat comes looking for warmth and attention and it receives it, it learns it is available and returns there just as it would for food.  If you do not want the cat to continue visiting your home you need to ignore the pleas for attention.  If your neighbours become aware that you are offering your home to their cat and they want their cat to remain with them they will not be happy that you are welcoming her, especially sleeping in your home over night.  If relations are already on unfavourable terms this is not likely to improve things.  Unless you want the situation to become unpleasant with this neighbour I would recommend keeping windows closed and not encouraging or allowing the cat to remain in your home.

 

[gardenandcats]

Is the cat being left out all the time? Sure sounds like it. Is it cold weather and does the cat appear to be in good health and well Fed? Depends on what you want to do..if you wish for the cat to leave you alone then do as the above poster has recommended...Myself I'm a cat lover and if a cat shows up at all hours of the night and day seeking ,love, attention and a place to come in out of the cold..then I would probably allow it to.but that's just me... I feel sorry for the cat sounds like someones just letting it roam at will..And such a pretty cat at that.

 

[misty8723]

We had a relationship like that with a neighbor cat several years ago - before they moved away.  She was young cat when she started coming around, and I tried very hard not to let her come in.  One New Year's eve though, it was cold, and she was out.  We let her come in, and tried to contact her family (from her tag). They had a message that they were out of the country! Asked around and found out the neighbors were supposed to be taking care of her, but they weren't home either. So we went and got her some food and one of those disposable litter boxes and let her stay.  That was the start of the relationship, but in this case the neighbors knew about it and were glad that she had another safe place to go. 

I don't have any answers for how to discourage this cat, but if she's being left out all night and/or in bad weather, I wouldn't feel very bad about inviting her in.

 

[mrkittycat]

Dear JenniferH. If the cat being left out all the time, I think you should talk to your neighbors about this issue. Giving some foods to this cutie is not a crime, as long as the food is nutritious and does not harm the cat.

 

[heavenskitty]

If it were me I would be in a jam because there is no way im not going to let a crying kitty come inside because she is cold or hungry.

Im a sucker with a soft heart and I know I would not be able to turn my back. If she is lose and coming to you it means she is not well taken care of.

I hope you do the right thing but hopefully not at the expense of kitty not having a warm place to sleep. ; (

 

[david's steph]

...

Last summer my neighbours moved in from a house two streets away. The same cat used to come and visit them and play with their three year old. Now since they have moved beside me the cat has followed them too - and since adopted my home as its own...

Hi JenniferH, from the above, it appears that these people have not taken on care/home for this cat, but just as a "visitor".  Is this correct?   If so, no wonder this cat is looking for permanency, care, love, and a proper home!

I think there is a reason this little soul is reluctant to go back out there, especially since she is outside in bad weather, from your post :

"...A few nights ago she was at my window at about 2 am and i let her in because she was crying and meowing so much and the weather was so bad i felt so sad for her. I let her in and she slept on my bed until 7 am when i put her out.  Since then she has been appearing 5-6 times a day and when i go to remove her she is much more... reluctant to get out.."

I would not discourage this cat, for she obviously likes you a lot, as you do her.  Are you thinking of giving  her a proper home?  If you really feel that these neighbors are not taking good care of her, you  know best what to do... good luck to her and you!  

 

[david's steph]

P.S.  - Look how happy/content she is with you, I think this photo says it all:

 

 

[pisces7386]

I know you said that you and the cat's owner don't get along, but I would recommend talking to them. If you really don't think it would go well maybe you could have a common acquaintance help you. We had a similar situation ( except the cat was pregnant) and when I finally got the courage to go talk to the owner (after the cat gave birth on our patio) she gave them to me... that fast! Also, you should consider what kind of commitment you are willing to make to the cat before you do anything more. 

 

[lamiatron]

@pisces7386  and also @David's Steph  make a good point.

However, I would not recommend just assuming ownership of kitty without discussing with the cats "owners"

you could possibly have legal trouble on your hands, if the cat's current owners don't even want their kitty coming over to your place or any other!

If you don't want to take responsibility of this cat, because you just can't, or whatever your reasons are, you should have a talk with the owners.

Clearly kitty seems happy with you but before you decided to take any steps, make sure you that you speak with kitty's owner, with a mediator, and take it from there...Kitty could just be a naughty kitty who loves going to other people's houses for cuddles. If you had never let her in, someone else would have...i hope that makes sense?

 

[cocheezie]

Some cats are natural visitors. Some cats are looking to see if there's anything better out there (and sometimes rightly so). We had a cat that kept showing up at our door. Being winter, we always gave it something to eat - gotta keep the furnace full of fuel. After some time passed, I put a collar on the cat with a message: "if this is your cat, please call ..." I got two separate phone calls from two separate houses. The cat eventually decided it wanted to live at a fourth house. It still visited almost daily.

All cats (and their owners) in my neighbourhood know that I'm the go-to cat person and sitter and that we have an open door policy. Cats are welcome to visit. I always tell the owners that their cat has been visiting and snacking in case there are dietary/health issues and if the cat goes missing, they know the first place to look and ask for help.

Edit: By asking over the years, I found out that 2 of my visitors had malfunctioning kidney issues and were on special diets. The owners gave me a small amount of the proper food so that the kitties could still come visiting and not be disappointed when expecting a snack. And another very elderly cat had thyroid issues and was losing weight so rapidly, the owner told me that I could feed him as much I as wanted.

 

[drbobcat]

I'm with the folks who said they would let the cat in and even feed it if it seemed hungry.  I have had too much experience with really bad cat guardians, so I'm on the cat's side.  I do agree that talking to the guardians is a good idea (even if you don't get along with them).  As others said, she is a very pretty cat and clearly very happy in the photo!  I automatically dislike anybody who lets their cats out at night, especially in bad weather,  and this cat clearly does not want to be out.

 

[lokimonster]

My mom's cat does the same thing to the people in her apartment complex I think. We believe some people are taking her cat inside their homes because he'll be gone for hours and hours at a time, and everyone in the complex knows him and his name. (Not to mention we had a situation with a mentally-unstable woman "kidnapping" the cat and refusing to let him out of her apartment because she believed he was hers...but that's a whole other story!) My mom and my step dad both work weird schedules, and sometimes he is left out until early in the morning, so maybe your neighbors have a strange schedule and that's why she is out in poor weather late at night?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you letting her in (and letting herself in!) to give her some loves and time to rest. Maybe her home is hectic and she comes to you for some peace and quiet? I think it might be worth talking to the neighbors, even if you  don't get along, just so they know where she's going. You never know their situation, you might find that they have no choice but to let her out, or they worry where she is. So who knows, they might feel good knowing she has you to go to if they have to leave her outside for long periods of time.

 

[lamiatron]

 
My mom's cat does the same thing to the people in her apartment complex I think. We believe some people are taking her cat inside their homes because he'll be gone for hours and hours at a time, and everyone in the complex knows him and his name. (Not to mention we had a situation with a mentally-unstable woman "kidnapping" the cat and refusing to let him out of her apartment because she believed he was hers...but that's a whole other story!) My mom and my step dad both work weird schedules, and sometimes he is left out until early in the morning, so maybe your neighbors have a strange schedule and that's why she is out in poor weather late at night?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you letting her in (and letting herself in!) to give her some loves and time to rest. Maybe her home is hectic and she comes to you for some peace and quiet? I think it might be worth talking to the neighbors, even if you  don't get along, just so they know where she's going. You never know their situation, you might find that they have no choice but to let her out, or they worry where she is. So who knows, they might feel good knowing she has you to go to if they have to leave her outside for long periods of time.

Great perspective from the owners POV.

This could also be the case with the kitty that's visiting you at night every night, OP

 

[jenniferh]

Just thought i would update this situation as i had lost internet service for quite a while.

It turns out the people i thought who owned her actually didn't own her, just a cat that looks very similar. I know she has an owner around here but short of following her i have no idea who it is. It is not anyone who lives on my street as i have asked them all. I stopped letting her in but she was always on the look out for an open window or door. About two months ago she just stopped coming. I figured she had gone home to wherever she lived or "adopted" a new family. Nope... turns out she was in my neighbours shed and had two kittens! 

I didn't know she was pregnant, she didn't get a typical barrel belly look or swollen nipples. I just found this out this weekend when my neighbours found all three of them running about their garden, apparently they don't go in their shed very often. I am guessing they must be between 6-8 weeks old now. She's obviously done a good job in raising them, they're well fed, clean and very active. I have called out to the mother a few times to check up on her but she just blanks me now... i guess she was just using my place as somewhere to crash while she was pregnant.

I put a notice up in a local shop about her and the kittens to see if anyone recognises her as their own, and also put out info with local lost pet websites. Apart from that i am not sure there is anything else i can do. I don't even know if the owner knows she was pregnant either. I got a picture of one of the kittens, just because i love taking pictures too!

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[drbobcat]

I know others probably won't agree, but I propose treating her as a "community cat" until her owner shows up.  I would have her spayed and then returned to her neighborhood.  This cat should not be running around breeding and making new cats.  We have plenty already.