Is This Teenage Time Or Something Else?

[Letta]

My 8 month old kitten has been very distant lately and I am a bit hurt. I don't know why she is like that: is it her character, is she sad, stressed or is it teenage time?
I tried to give her everything I can: she has all the toys she could possibly desire, 2 cat perches, 1 cat tree, 2 tunnels, food puzzles, tents, 1 bird feeder, 1 fountain ect... I play so much with her. Almost 3 to 4hours a day. I always try to be there for her early enough in the evening. I give her as much attention as I possibly can, I feed her top quality food, I play with her, I talk to her, I never force her when she does not want pets or cuddles. I don't think I could do any better for her. She is not a lap cat and I have learn to accept who she is and love her way of showing me love. She is so important to me.
She is quite demanding, when she wants to play, she wants to play and she will ask for it as much as is necessary. I sometimes have the impression that she is disappointed when I can't play with her and she makes that clear.
Lately she has become increasingly distant and I am a bit broken hearted. I miss how much we used to cuddle, I miss her grooming me, I miss her purring when I pet her, I miss her coming to bed with me. Is that a phase? How can I help her coming back to me? Is there anything else I can do?
Sorry to bother you but I am so sad right now

 

[daisyd]

Hi, if it helps my 10 month old is mostly horrible .. She's narky, bites when wants attention or doesn't , she's never been a cuddly cat and shows affection by being close to you .. But never sits in your lap. she climbed on my lap the other day and I got excited then realised she was using me as a short cut to my mascara lying on the bed ! Sounds like your kitten used to be loving ? Did she used to sleep with you ? maybe it's a teenage phase .. Kittens / cats go offish if unwell however sounds like your one still plays when she wants to ?

 

[bodester413]

Yea I think most cats go through that phase. My cat did that too. I think he was around a year old when it happened. He would go off and find his own space in the house...New sleeping areas etc..I got kinda worried too for awhile, but eventually he went back to the way he was before...following me around and being more interested in what was going on....

 

[Letta]

Thanks for your answer.
Yeah she is bonded with me, she used to be very close to me. She did not like laps, but yes me coming home was the best time of the day, she used to ask for cuddles 3 to 4 times a day, she slept with me every night, she groomed me, purred sometimes just because I was coming closer and always always was in the same room than me.... Petting has never been her favorite thing but love yes. Lately she sleeps on the carpet and not the bed, if I come to lie next to her she would leave, petting is even more complicated, she does not groom me anymore and has stopped following me around. She even start moving her tail if I call her a bit too much, or come too close
She is fine not sick. She plays still the same and still ask for play, just not cuddle.
I hope it's just a phase, it's so sad to see her so distant. I don't know how to behave when she is like that.

 

[daisyd]

Do you know what I do? I ignore gracie which is so hard but it does work .. I'll just go about my business and pretend ive not noticed her for a while then after a while she's nice kitten for a while ... I believe it is a stage and your kitten will turn back into a nice cat !

 

[verna davies]

I have three young cats. As kittens they were cuddly and loving, wanting to sleep on my lap. As each came to about 7/8 months old they changed. Wouldn't sleep on my lap, hated being picked up, wanted to play but on their turns. When they got to about a year old they became cuddly again. Now they are really friendly. They occasionally sleep on my lap but always want to be near me and follow me around the house. So yes I think it is a teenage thing, trying to shown their independence . Be patient and let them outgrow this phase.

 

[daisyd]

At she your kitten should outgrow it !! We think our one will be narky forever as was never a very nice kitten to begin with ! Hahha

 

[Letta]

Thank you all for your supporting thoughts.
verna davies did you also ignore them or did you manage it differently? (Just interested in everyone's experience)
haha thanks daisyd.
i truly hope that I will find her back and that she is still happy with me.

 

[verna davies]

I didnt ignore them, I picked them up and put them on my lap but never held them there. They usually had a winge and jumped down. I did however play with them as much as I could so they associated me with fun and if they made a fuss if me, I took it. I'm easily pleased!

 

[Letta]

Ok thanks!
I plan on not changing a thing, keep on plyaing with her, keep on inviting her to join me for cuddles and hope she will realize how much she also miss me.

 

[verna davies]

I have noticed that mine don't sleep on my bed so much in the summer ( could be too hot) but once the weather cools, they are back.