This really is not the way to go if you don't want to have to start all over again.Someday you are going to have to quit being the warden. So why continue fretting about it? Release them into general population and see how it works out.
No for me they don't or haven't. You either like your new housemate or you don't. My current two had no issues as they were both kittens.This really is not the way to go if you don't want to have to start all over again.
hybriseris is quite right in checking all the signs and acting accordingly. And introductions can take a very long time.
It's not the case that they either like them or they don't. Or, more importantly, you can do something about initial antagonisms through careful introductions. Kittens are different, as was the case with your two.No for me they don't or haven't. You either like your new housemate or you don't. My current two had no issues as they were both kittens.
My past two Maine Coons despised each other from the beginning. The Neutered Male whom was the resident cat of 6 yrs. Did not appreciate the Spayed Female of 3yrs. Invading his home. There wasn't any constant fighting. They just ignored each other for the most part.
My resident cat is Shadow, a 9 year old Maine Coon mix with previous history of socializing well as an indoor/outdoor cat. (I have adopted him from my Gramdmother, and he is now strictly indoor with me.)
I have adopted Ghost, an estimated 2 year old Domestic Shorthair.
They are both neutered.
I brought Ghost home about 4 days ago, and he's gotten very confident in his home base in my guest room. He will have to be isolated for another 14 days per the recommendation of my vet, due to symptoms of a URI while in the shelter. Obviously because of that I haven't been able to scent swap as I want to protect Shadow.
So the funny thing is, Shadow despite being 9 years old, is quite obnoxious himself LOL. So I purposely wanted to pick a younger cat to match his energy level. I have never been around a cat his age who just LOVES to play as much as he does! He definitely enjoys a good sleep, but when he's up he's always looking for something to do. Ghost is super playful but actually seems to be the more mellow of the pair so I'm hoping they'll be well matched in that sense. Thanks for your comment - I've seen your contributions to other intro threads and they helped me learn a lot, so I'm glad you think this sounds good so far.
Hi hybriseris ...don't get too discouraged.Not a great day. Visual access to each other when I'm home just kind of becoming a hissing and posturing fest from Shadow, and Ghost is getting restless in his room and is figuring out climbing the baby gate. Going to take a step back. Shadow is unfortunately not food motivated, but loves treats, so maybe open the door a few times a day to give them each a treat if they interact well. Shadow hisses immediately when he sees him now for the most part. Pretty miserable.
Hi Hybriseris.Not a great day. Visual access to each other when I'm home just kind of becoming a hissing and posturing fest from Shadow, and Ghost is getting restless in his room and is figuring out climbing the baby gate. Going to take a step back. Shadow is unfortunately not food motivated, but loves treats, so maybe open the door a few times a day to give them each a treat if they interact well. Shadow hisses immediately when he sees him now for the most part. Pretty miserable.
Try not to get discouraged, hybriseris , as cat introductions do take time. But I think you have a good feeling about how to proceed, and taking a baby step back and proceeding slowly seems like the way to go.Not a great day. Visual access to each other when I'm home just kind of becoming a hissing and posturing fest from Shadow, and Ghost is getting restless in his room and is figuring out climbing the baby gate. Going to take a step back. Shadow is unfortunately not food motivated, but loves treats, so maybe open the door a few times a day to give them each a treat if they interact well. Shadow hisses immediately when he sees him now for the most part. Pretty miserable.
First of all I just want to say thank you to everyone for your kind words. I fully admit that I'm a highly anxious person, and I LOVE Shadow very much and it's causing my thoughts to run wild. I actually took him in when my Grandmother's dementia got bad enough that she could no longer live at home. She was a difficult woman and I did not have the best relationship with her, and that informed some of my relationship with Shadow at first too. He is a tough little guy who's hard to crack, but when he & I finally bonded...boy he's special. I think I'm upset because I thought with his previous cat friendships, that this would be a good thing that would enrich him. But I also realize that my anxiety is warping time a little, and a friendship in two weeks is a lot to ask.
Yes, that is the one thing I've found with cat-to-cat intros...that ONE cat always wants to move 'faster'.....and the other one is "not ready yet"...or their fear responses, are still too heightened.cat nap I had baby gates stacked to six feet, which for Shadow is more than enough as he's not a jumper or climber. Ghost however, is a little acrobat I'm discovering! So I've ordered a third baby gate to close the one foot gap at the top for when the time comes. I have scent swapped and Ghost has a completely neutral reaction to Shadow's scent and I reload a sock with it that's by his food bowl regularly. Shadow also has a neutral, perhaps more of an "ugh, fine" reaction to Ghost's scent LOL. I can put a towel with it under his feeder though. I have a hard time convincing him to eat wet but maybe it can go under his dry bowl.
Your mom is entirely right !I just want to say again I'm very grateful for everyone's advice and encouragement, and anyone who reads through my outpourings! I can't say I feel 100%, but I definitely feel less distraught than I did last night thanks to the patience of several posters here. I want the best for both of these cats, and feel extremely guilty that Ghost has to spend part of his day in my guest room when he's not let out to explore. I have a small security camera in there and when I check on him, he's often laying facing the door which breaks my little heart! But I was speaking with my Mom who pointed out that Ghost was in a 2x2 cage at the shelter when I got him, and now has a whole room with water, good food, a clean litterbox, 32,000 toys, and a cat tree that looks out over the front yard of my apartment complex with a busy sidewalk and lots of trees. Although Ghost would like 24/7 free reign, hopefully there are worse ways to be passing the time while his older brother gets a grip.
Happy Easter to all those who celebrate!
Good for your Mom putting things in perspective. Ghost does have a purrfect life right now, compared to living in a cage at the shelter. And it's still early days. Relax, take it slowly, and before you know it your 2 kitties will hopefully be best friends.But I was speaking with my Mom who pointed out that Ghost was in a 2x2 cage at the shelter when I got him, and now has a whole room with water, good food, a clean litterbox, 32,000 toys, and a cat tree that looks out over the front yard of my apartment complex with a busy sidewalk and lots of trees. Although Ghost would like 24/7 free reign, hopefully there are worse ways to be passing the time while his older brother gets a grip.
"full and sleepy"...are great places to be. hahaha.cat nap I return VERY full and sleepy to say thank you again for your reassurance! Ghost and Shadow are currently site swapped for a bit before I head to bed. Shadow is not thrilled, but he gets to spend the majority of the day and ALL night with me, so he has to allow a few hours every day for his brother to explore! And this way I figure I'll sleep a little easier knowing Ghost has gotten some stimulation before bed.
Thank you so much for this horse info, above.I will talk about horses ALL day so totally feel free to start a thread or send me a message. For just the question posed here, I'd suggest finding someone who can do a lesson or two with you, the first being skills on the ground (leading, personal space, etc) and then some riding, preferably on the same horse so you can build some comfort and trust together! No horse is totally 'bombproof' but a day or two (or more if you catch the horse-bug!) on a calm horse is totally okay! There should be tons of places that will be open to that.
Yes, I agree with your statement about most two-year old cats! My cat Boaz is 3 and he still likes to spunk out and not take "no" for an answer. Thus, I have to keep him separated from my brother's boy cat Asher. Asher and Boaz are only a few weeks apart in age.It sounds like its going pretty well to me so far. A real test will be when they are allowed to mingle. 2 y.o.'s are often still at the obnoxious age, trying to force playing and not taking no for an answer.
Hissing is not necessarily anything. Probably 80% of cat besties hissed at each other for a few days.
Don't do that! If you "let the cats work it out themselves" the risk is high that they won't "work it out" at all but instead grow to hate each other more and more. I listened to the advice of letting the cats figure it out for themselves, and to this day I regret it and am having to deal with the repercussions of such thinking.Someday you are going to have to quit being the warden. So why continue fretting about it? Release them into general population and see how it works out.
Hissing is not necessarily a bad thing. It's just their way of letting each other know where their boundaries are. It sounds like things are going well!Sometimes he bats the door and hisses but sometimes he watches Ghost's paws under the door quietly and just lays there very close to the door. When there's more quiet interest than hissing, we'll hit the next stage!
Routines are great.. hybriserisTwo days later and the three of us have settled in to a routine of site and scent swapping and are staying there until Shadow seems more comfortable. Sometimes he bats the door and hisses but sometimes he watches Ghost's paws under the door quietly and just lays there very close to the door. When there's more quiet interest than hissing, we'll hit the next stage!
You've probably read our article on cat introductions, but in case you haven't here's the link:
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide | TheCatSite
Thank you for posting the above photos.More pics. Shadow lounging on my lap, and Ghost the first time he laid down outside his safe room!