Introductions and Normal Body Language

vansX2

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Someday you are going to have to quit being the warden. So why continue fretting about it? Release them into general population and see how it works out.
 
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hybriseris

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vansX2 vansX2 I hear you, but Shadow's behavior on his side of the gate is enough that I think just letting them work it out at this stage is asking for a full blown fight. Shadow will traverse all the way across the living room if he sees Ghost at the guest room doorway, so I feel like without the gate he'd chase him down. Obviously, I'm an anxious person and wish it was all going faster. But ultimately they've only been face to face for two days.
 

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Someday you are going to have to quit being the warden. So why continue fretting about it? Release them into general population and see how it works out.
This really is not the way to go if you don't want to have to start all over again.
hybriseris hybriseris is quite right in checking all the signs and acting accordingly. And introductions can take a very long time.
 

vansX2

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This really is not the way to go if you don't want to have to start all over again.
hybriseris hybriseris is quite right in checking all the signs and acting accordingly. And introductions can take a very long time.
No for me they don't or haven't. You either like your new housemate or you don't. My current two had no issues as they were both kittens.
My past two Maine Coons despised each other from the beginning. The Neutered Male whom was the resident cat of 6 yrs. Did not appreciate the Spayed Female of 3yrs. Invading his home. There wasn't any constant fighting. They just ignored each other for the most part.
 

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No for me they don't or haven't. You either like your new housemate or you don't. My current two had no issues as they were both kittens.
My past two Maine Coons despised each other from the beginning. The Neutered Male whom was the resident cat of 6 yrs. Did not appreciate the Spayed Female of 3yrs. Invading his home. There wasn't any constant fighting. They just ignored each other for the most part.
It's not the case that they either like them or they don't. Or, more importantly, you can do something about initial antagonisms through careful introductions. Kittens are different, as was the case with your two.
I don't want this to become about your cats in someone else's thread but perhaps if you had done more careful introductions with your six year old male and three year old female it may have been different. Perhaps not. Some cats don't get on.
But if there is a sign of agitation/discomfort when going through the introduction process, it is best to take notice of that and act accordingly. And that is what hybriseris is doing. :) It can take some time, but it's worth it.
 

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My resident cat is Shadow, a 9 year old Maine Coon mix with previous history of socializing well as an indoor/outdoor cat. (I have adopted him from my Gramdmother, and he is now strictly indoor with me.)

I have adopted Ghost, an estimated 2 year old Domestic Shorthair.

They are both neutered.

I brought Ghost home about 4 days ago, and he's gotten very confident in his home base in my guest room. He will have to be isolated for another 14 days per the recommendation of my vet, due to symptoms of a URI while in the shelter. Obviously because of that I haven't been able to scent swap as I want to protect Shadow.
So the funny thing is, Shadow despite being 9 years old, is quite obnoxious himself LOL. So I purposely wanted to pick a younger cat to match his energy level. I have never been around a cat his age who just LOVES to play as much as he does! He definitely enjoys a good sleep, but when he's up he's always looking for something to do. Ghost is super playful but actually seems to be the more mellow of the pair so I'm hoping they'll be well matched in that sense. Thanks for your comment - I've seen your contributions to other intro threads and they helped me learn a lot, so I'm glad you think this sounds good so far.
Not a great day. Visual access to each other when I'm home just kind of becoming a hissing and posturing fest from Shadow, and Ghost is getting restless in his room and is figuring out climbing the baby gate. Going to take a step back. Shadow is unfortunately not food motivated, but loves treats, so maybe open the door a few times a day to give them each a treat if they interact well. Shadow hisses immediately when he sees him now for the most part. Pretty miserable.
Hi hybriseris hybriseris ...don't get too discouraged. :wave3:
You are doing really, really, well. :)

Today, is only 2 weeks since you brought your Ghost home,...and I actually never even count the first week...since it's usually the 'settling in' period,...for the 'new cat'...who has to 'get to know his new home, surroundings, humans, routines, etc.'

Can I ask you, if your 'baby gates' go up to the 'entire door frame'? :bluepaw:
Are there any 'opened gaps' at the top?
Can you place a 'piece of cardboard'...taped to the top...or even a 'bed-sheet' tacked to the door frame at the top...to make sure that Ghost cannot escape...or that your Shadow...cannot get inside the room.

This is the usual set-up that we recommend here, at the Cat Site:
How to Build a Free-Standing Cat, Dog, or Pet Gate Cheaply, Without Tools

But since you already have the 'baby gates in place'...then maybe you can think of ways to just 'secure them'..or add to them...with materials you already have.
Even some 'fabric netting' or some type of barrier, at the top...might work. :think:

"Stepping Back"...or taking a mini-break...from any Steps of the cat-to-cat introductions...is always a good thing to do.
It relieves Stress, and then you can rest, relax, and re-energize...for another time. :bluepaw:
Also, since our cats, tend to feel how stressed, we humans can get,...then it's also good to 'take a break' from time, to time.

There is never a rush...with cat intros.
You can only go at the speed...of the 'slowest adapting cat'...and for now...it sounds like your Shadow...is still feeling Fear, and uncertainty...with his 'new guy' Ghost.

Hissing, spitting, and growling...are all perfectly fine.
It just sounds really awful, when you hear it.
It's not anything unusual...in cat intros.
It will diminish...and lessen with Time...especially when Shadow...sees that Ghost will not be a threat to him.

***If you can ...I would begin "Scent Swapping"...now.
Get some fabric items, cat beds, cat blanket, t-shirt, or even socks... and "Scent Soak" them with each cat's Scent..by rubbing the fabric items...all over the cat's body...especially the cat's cheeks, sides, and paw pads.
Then place this "Scent soaked item"...near the opposite cat.
See what happens..and each cat's reactions.

If they have a neutral or non-agitated reaction...then place the Scent soaked items...near to each cat's food bowl.
Again, watch what happens.

Could you possibly post a photo...of your 'baby gate set-up'...within the door frame?
You don't have to do this tonight, but it would help...to see how much space, and how well the gates look, when fully placed in the door frame.
 

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Not a great day. Visual access to each other when I'm home just kind of becoming a hissing and posturing fest from Shadow, and Ghost is getting restless in his room and is figuring out climbing the baby gate. Going to take a step back. Shadow is unfortunately not food motivated, but loves treats, so maybe open the door a few times a day to give them each a treat if they interact well. Shadow hisses immediately when he sees him now for the most part. Pretty miserable.
Hi Hybriseris.

:wave3:

I currently have 21 rescued or former feral cats, but I foster kittens before they can be rehomed and can never say no to a homeless cat. Introductions take a long time, especially with adult cats. I usually allow at least a month for the new cat to settle into their room and the others to sniff at them through the door. There's always a bit of hissing, and quite often a lot of growling and spraying from my boys too.

Please don't worry about this taking too long. Even after I've allowed the new cat access to the rest of the house there is still occasional hissing. Make sure there are plenty of escape routes, cat trees or highways on different levels so the cats have somewhere to retreat to. Make sure there are no places where one cat can corner the other, just in case they do start swatting at each other.

If Shadow isn't food motivated you could try using a toy to help the introduction. Get Shadow focused on a toy while Ghost comes out to explore. Shadow can watch Ghost, but if you think he is becoming agitated you can distract him with the toy. Once they've both got used to being in the same room (which could take a few attempts over several days) you can co-play with them. Either a toy each or one toy that you let them both play with.

With cats it's not really a case of You either like your new housemate or you don't. The dynamics change all the time and can be affected all kinds of external factors. When I first introduced Forest to the family one of my other boys, Hiro, was very jealous of him. He used to yell at Forest if he saw him sitting in a place he didn't think Forest belonged. After a lot of co-playing, co-grooming, treats and gentle encouragement they get along pretty well now.

It took a year for them to get to this stage, so at less than a month into the introductions with Shadow and Ghost a bit of hissing and growling is nothing to worry about. The main thing is, don't rush it. :salam:

HiroForest2.jpg
 

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Not a great day. Visual access to each other when I'm home just kind of becoming a hissing and posturing fest from Shadow, and Ghost is getting restless in his room and is figuring out climbing the baby gate. Going to take a step back. Shadow is unfortunately not food motivated, but loves treats, so maybe open the door a few times a day to give them each a treat if they interact well. Shadow hisses immediately when he sees him now for the most part. Pretty miserable.
Try not to get discouraged, hybriseris hybriseris , as cat introductions do take time. But I think you have a good feeling about how to proceed, and taking a baby step back and proceeding slowly seems like the way to go.

And try not to get too anxious around them, as cats can pick up on their human's emotions, so if you seem anxious, they might feel anxious too. Make their interactions fun. Oh, and keep telling Shadow that he's not being replaced, and that you still love him.
 
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hybriseris

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First of all I just want to say thank you to everyone for your kind words. I fully admit that I'm a highly anxious person, and I LOVE Shadow very much and it's causing my thoughts to run wild. I actually took him in when my Grandmother's dementia got bad enough that she could no longer live at home. She was a difficult woman and I did not have the best relationship with her, and that informed some of my relationship with Shadow at first too. He is a tough little guy who's hard to crack, but when he & I finally bonded...boy he's special. I think I'm upset because I thought with his previous cat friendships, that this would be a good thing that would enrich him. But I also realize that my anxiety is warping time a little, and a friendship in two weeks is a lot to ask.

cat nap cat nap I had baby gates stacked to six feet, which for Shadow is more than enough as he's not a jumper or climber. Ghost however, is a little acrobat I'm discovering! So I've ordered a third baby gate to close the one foot gap at the top for when the time comes. I have scent swapped and Ghost has a completely neutral reaction to Shadow's scent and I reload a sock with it that's by his food bowl regularly. Shadow also has a neutral, perhaps more of an "ugh, fine" reaction to Ghost's scent LOL. I can put a towel with it under his feeder though. I have a hard time convincing him to eat wet but maybe it can go under his dry bowl.

Norachan Norachan Thank you so much for your experience. It's especially encouraging to hear that hissing/growling even through the door is something you've seen between cats who eventually get along, because I type this after just breaking up Shadow and Ghost playing footsies through the door crack after Shadow decided it wasn't fun and hissed lol. The hissing and growling is accompanied by standing on the baby gate trying to look big which is why I've taken a step back from visuals. I appreciate your expertise a lot! I have been putting a baby gate up in front of the door even when closed as Ghost likes to try and play footsies and Shadow typically hisses and spits at his paws. Would you do the same, or just let them get used to each other through the crack?
 
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hybriseris

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rubysmama rubysmama You're totally right. I will do my best to quell my anxiety. At first I was fine, but the hissing and growling has made me nervous enough that I'm not helping them see each other on neutral ground. I'll work on that!

When my Grandmother moved out of her home, I saw what Shadow looks like when he's depressed. He didn't move much, didn't really eat. He just wanted to sleep. I think he's mostly fine since he still plays with me and loves to curl up on my lap when I watch TV. He's actually entirely normal except around the door of...The Stranger. 🤣
 

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Hissing and growling is nothing to worry about, especially right now that they're safely separated by the baby gates. Even when it happens after the pawing session, I think it's fine. Playing footsies is great, btw. As it shows they're both interested in interacting. It would be worse if one was totally ignoring the other, as that would limit their chances of getting to know each other.

I've never had 2 cats at the same time, so one thing that surprised me when first read about it, is that bonded cats can still get into occasional spats.

And they can also play fight. As that may happen once they're no longer physically separated, here's a TCS article you might want to look at Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing? – TheCatSite Articles
 
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hybriseris

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rubysmama rubysmama Yes, Ghost is very interested in footsies while Shadow typically tries to slap the offending paws and makes irritated sounding meows. 🤣 As I said above, I'm not sure if it would be better to limit this until they can be by the door with no hissing, but at least they're at no risk of hurting each other.

I just want to say again I'm very grateful for everyone's advice and encouragement, and anyone who reads through my outpourings! I can't say I feel 100%, but I definitely feel less distraught than I did last night thanks to the patience of several posters here. I want the best for both of these cats, and feel extremely guilty that Ghost has to spend part of his day in my guest room when he's not let out to explore. I have a small security camera in there and when I check on him, he's often laying facing the door which breaks my little heart! But I was speaking with my Mom who pointed out that Ghost was in a 2x2 cage at the shelter when I got him, and now has a whole room with water, good food, a clean litterbox, 32,000 toys, and a cat tree that looks out over the front yard of my apartment complex with a busy sidewalk and lots of trees. Although Ghost would like 24/7 free reign, hopefully there are worse ways to be passing the time while his older brother gets a grip.

Happy Easter to all those who celebrate!
 

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cat nap

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First of all I just want to say thank you to everyone for your kind words. I fully admit that I'm a highly anxious person, and I LOVE Shadow very much and it's causing my thoughts to run wild. I actually took him in when my Grandmother's dementia got bad enough that she could no longer live at home. She was a difficult woman and I did not have the best relationship with her, and that informed some of my relationship with Shadow at first too. He is a tough little guy who's hard to crack, but when he & I finally bonded...boy he's special. I think I'm upset because I thought with his previous cat friendships, that this would be a good thing that would enrich him. But I also realize that my anxiety is warping time a little, and a friendship in two weeks is a lot to ask.
cat nap cat nap I had baby gates stacked to six feet, which for Shadow is more than enough as he's not a jumper or climber. Ghost however, is a little acrobat I'm discovering! So I've ordered a third baby gate to close the one foot gap at the top for when the time comes. I have scent swapped and Ghost has a completely neutral reaction to Shadow's scent and I reload a sock with it that's by his food bowl regularly. Shadow also has a neutral, perhaps more of an "ugh, fine" reaction to Ghost's scent LOL. I can put a towel with it under his feeder though. I have a hard time convincing him to eat wet but maybe it can go under his dry bowl.
Yes, that is the one thing I've found with cat-to-cat intros...that ONE cat always wants to move 'faster'..:biggrin:🤔:gingercat:...and the other one is "not ready yet"...or their fear responses, are still too heightened.

Ghost being a little acrobat is going to be a little hard for you,.:blush:..so don't worry if 'escapes' do happen.
Just try to 'act all calm, and natural',...and like this is an 'everyday occurrence.:cool2:
It's easier said than done, though. :lol:

(I also suffer from anxiety, and when I had to 'introduce' my dog...to two previous cats..in the past...I sat down, one day, and told my sister, "umm, I don't think I'll ever be able to trust this puppy, (black retriever/lab mix),..around the two cats. :thud: I think we're going to have to get the cats to live in one part of the home, while this dog is in the other. sigh." It took me 9 months for those cat to dog/puppy intros.
The puppy kept wanting to chase, and chase the cats...I swear, that before I joined the Cat Site, I didn't even know that a 'formal cat-to-cat introduction Process'...existed.) :dunno:

It wasn't until a kind and knowledgeable member, here, told me about an actual 'cat-to-cat intro process'...with actual Steps...and stages...that things began to 'click'..and make more logical sense.

It's honestly the best way to go,...because it allows both cats to Adapt to each other, ..Slowly....in a slow fairly controlled way, which lessens their 'fear responses'...and allows them plenty of Time...to adjust.
It does require a lot of Patience...for us humans.

***Look around your home, and try to implement...all the things that Norachan Norachan mentioned, concerning 'escape routes', no dead ends,...by placing some chairs, boxes, or even side tables, in strategic spots...so that if one cat escapes...then the other cat will still have somewhere to hide.

**Boxes, and things that cats can hide behind,...also helps to Build up a Cat's Confidence.
And so, by building up your Shadow's Confidence, ...he will feel better, lessen his 'fight or flight' automatic responses...and come to Accept Ghost,...more and more.
I just want to say again I'm very grateful for everyone's advice and encouragement, and anyone who reads through my outpourings! I can't say I feel 100%, but I definitely feel less distraught than I did last night thanks to the patience of several posters here. I want the best for both of these cats, and feel extremely guilty that Ghost has to spend part of his day in my guest room when he's not let out to explore. I have a small security camera in there and when I check on him, he's often laying facing the door which breaks my little heart! But I was speaking with my Mom who pointed out that Ghost was in a 2x2 cage at the shelter when I got him, and now has a whole room with water, good food, a clean litterbox, 32,000 toys, and a cat tree that looks out over the front yard of my apartment complex with a busy sidewalk and lots of trees. Although Ghost would like 24/7 free reign, hopefully there are worse ways to be passing the time while his older brother gets a grip.

Happy Easter to all those who celebrate!
Your mom is entirely right ! :agree:
And both your Shadow and Ghost will get there.
It's just still early days.

**You can do some "Site Swapping"...if you want, too.
It's a little difficult, when the 'baby gates are up', ..since you would have to either place one cat in ..a cat carrier...or bathroom,...and then place, or lure.. the opposite cat...into the 'safe room'.
Finally, allowing the 'other cat in the penalty box'...out to Explore...and Scent mark...the entire home.

I think this a good thing to do...to get both cat's Scents...all over the place.
Both cats will come to accept, that the other cat, is a part of their territory...and get to know them through Scent.

It's actually really good that you've begun doing 'Scent Swapping'...of fabric items, too. :thumbsup:
If you do notice, that your Shadow, gets too upset,...and stops eating...or is too bothered...then just move the 'scent soaked items' ...a little further away.
It's always best that a cat eats, and does not get interrupted by being upset...so sometimes this 'trick' helps, and sometimes it does not.

(I had a totally 'off-topic' thing to ask you about horses.
We do have another 'sub-forum' here, on the Cat Site, where photos and other animals are talked about.
It's over here: Other Pets & Animals

But my question is: On 'my bucket list'...I have always wanted to try and ride a horse. The only time I've ever been on one, was in high school, age 18, and this was only for a 'trail ride'. I loved it. Horses are so majestic, and amazing.
But their size is a little...no a lot...intimidating...especially if they want to step on your toes, want to throw you, or I guess can get angry.

Actually, maybe I should create a thread..with all my questions over there, and ask all the questions I want. It would be easier.
Then I could 'tag you in'...or leave the 'link' here.
Basically, my question would be...for someone who has no horse experience...would just spending a day on a slow moving horse...a gentle horse...be okay, ..or would you suggest looking into taking some 'lessons'...and being around horses, more.?
(I think I'll create the thread tomorrow, when I have more time, to think about it.)

Wishing you and yours...a Very Happy Easter, too. :bunny: :clover::wave3: with a relaxing good day. 🥧🥮☕🍞🥗🍲
 

rubysmama

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But I was speaking with my Mom who pointed out that Ghost was in a 2x2 cage at the shelter when I got him, and now has a whole room with water, good food, a clean litterbox, 32,000 toys, and a cat tree that looks out over the front yard of my apartment complex with a busy sidewalk and lots of trees. Although Ghost would like 24/7 free reign, hopefully there are worse ways to be passing the time while his older brother gets a grip.
Good for your Mom putting things in perspective. Ghost does have a purrfect life right now, compared to living in a cage at the shelter. And it's still early days. Relax, take it slowly, and before you know it your 2 kitties will hopefully be best friends.
 
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hybriseris

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cat nap cat nap I return VERY full and sleepy to say thank you again for your reassurance! Ghost and Shadow are currently site swapped for a bit before I head to bed. Shadow is not thrilled, but he gets to spend the majority of the day and ALL night with me, so he has to allow a few hours every day for his brother to explore! And this way I figure I'll sleep a little easier knowing Ghost has gotten some stimulation before bed.

I will talk about horses ALL day so totally feel free to start a thread or send me a message. For just the question posed here, I'd suggest finding someone who can do a lesson or two with you, the first being skills on the ground (leading, personal space, etc) and then some riding, preferably on the same horse so you can build some comfort and trust together! No horse is totally 'bombproof' but a day or two (or more if you catch the horse-bug!) on a calm horse is totally okay! There should be tons of places that will be open to that.
 

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cat nap cat nap I return VERY full and sleepy to say thank you again for your reassurance! Ghost and Shadow are currently site swapped for a bit before I head to bed. Shadow is not thrilled, but he gets to spend the majority of the day and ALL night with me, so he has to allow a few hours every day for his brother to explore! And this way I figure I'll sleep a little easier knowing Ghost has gotten some stimulation before bed.
"full and sleepy"...are great places to be. hahaha. :blush: :cloud9:
Especially before bed time. :thumbsup:

Great that you managed to get the cats Site Swapped. :)
I think you'll find that things will get easier, the more it's done, and especially the more practice you get.

Your Shadow sounds awesome.
It's okay if he's not so thrilled, initially,...since honestly no cat that I've ever had...actually likes 'any doors to be closed'.
(It's like 'mostly all cats' like to have an 'open door policy'...and that's probably written in some sort of 'ancient code for cats'...that we humans accidentally forgot about. :agree: :lol: :wink: )

And you're absolutely right, that since your Shadow gets to spend the majority of time with you, plus all night,...I figure that Shadow will benefit from allowing Ghost to wander about.

***If you can, and are not completely tired,...or actually perhaps it's better to do this another night,...then try to Play...with each cat...separately....before bed-time.
Afterwards you can reward them, with a small Treat, or snack.

This helps the whole 'site swapping' situation...to end on a positive note.
Anything you can do, to create 'positive associations'...for and between your cats...is a good thing.

**Like Norachan Norachan had mentioned...Play...is extremely important for cats...and especially useful...to use in cat intros...because it also releases...pent up energy, frustration, and generally makes our cats feel good.

It does not have to be a long Play session, but if it's intense and short, and you try out different toys,...then you'll get a sense of which ones are favourites, for each cat. Things like 'wand toys', or ping pong balls, scrunched up paper, or those simple kicker toys, that you throw, can come in handy, to release some extra energy.
I will talk about horses ALL day so totally feel free to start a thread or send me a message. For just the question posed here, I'd suggest finding someone who can do a lesson or two with you, the first being skills on the ground (leading, personal space, etc) and then some riding, preferably on the same horse so you can build some comfort and trust together! No horse is totally 'bombproof' but a day or two (or more if you catch the horse-bug!) on a calm horse is totally okay! There should be tons of places that will be open to that.
Thank you so much for this horse info, above. :)
I kind of like the idea of just learning about 'skills on the ground'.
and maybe the places won't mind if I just pay to do this, and just be 'around the horses'.
At first I thought, that they might think I'm so weird, or that this would be such an odd request,...but I guess it would not hurt to ask.
I will start that thread, this week, though, since I have some more questions. So thank you again.

Have a great night. :catrub: :caticon::blackcat: :sleep2:
 
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hybriseris

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Two days later and the three of us have settled in to a routine of site and scent swapping and are staying there until Shadow seems more comfortable. Sometimes he bats the door and hisses but sometimes he watches Ghost's paws under the door quietly and just lays there very close to the door. When there's more quiet interest than hissing, we'll hit the next stage!

More pics. Shadow lounging on my lap, and Ghost the first time he laid down outside his safe room!
 

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It sounds like its going pretty well to me so far. A real test will be when they are allowed to mingle. 2 y.o.'s are often still at the obnoxious age, trying to force playing and not taking no for an answer.

Hissing is not necessarily anything. Probably 80% of cat besties hissed at each other for a few days.
Yes, I agree with your statement about most two-year old cats! My cat Boaz is 3 and he still likes to spunk out and not take "no" for an answer. Thus, I have to keep him separated from my brother's boy cat Asher. Asher and Boaz are only a few weeks apart in age.

If it's possible for you to get a third cat, perhaps you'd consider adding a female cat Ghost's age to the family? This way Ghost will have another young cat to play with and he may be less likely to make Shadow irritated. In my house, our girl cat Posie seems to do well at keeping the boys in line. :) Just a thought.

Someday you are going to have to quit being the warden. So why continue fretting about it? Release them into general population and see how it works out.
Don't do that! If you "let the cats work it out themselves" the risk is high that they won't "work it out" at all but instead grow to hate each other more and more. I listened to the advice of letting the cats figure it out for themselves, and to this day I regret it and am having to deal with the repercussions of such thinking.

When my Dad and my brother brought their kittens Asher and Posie home three years ago, we put them together with my kitten Boaz immediately and they seemed to get along well enough. However, what we thought was my kitten Boaz just playing at the time was also him fighting for dominance with the other kittens. He had been the only kitten for 2 months. Instead of being given a gradual introduction- a week or two of getting to know the new arrivals from a distance and decide how well they'd get alone with him- he found himself stuck between a stone and a hard place.

Think about this: How would you like it if you were renting a home and your landlord suddenly decided to allow a friend of his (but a total stranger to you) come live in the home you're currently renting? You're offered no forewarning, no time to get to know the potential roommate and decide if you both would be compatible. You're suddenly forced to live with a complete stranger.

Cats living under the same roof don't have to like each other, but most of the time, when introductions are done rightly, the cats will at least decide to be polite and cordial to each other. You're giving the cats the right to choose their company in a way. It works out much better when the cats still feel like they're in control.
 

Norachan

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Sometimes he bats the door and hisses but sometimes he watches Ghost's paws under the door quietly and just lays there very close to the door. When there's more quiet interest than hissing, we'll hit the next stage!
Hissing is not necessarily a bad thing. It's just their way of letting each other know where their boundaries are. It sounds like things are going well!

I'll join in the horsey talk if anyone starts a thread about that.

:hyper:
 

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Two days later and the three of us have settled in to a routine of site and scent swapping and are staying there until Shadow seems more comfortable. Sometimes he bats the door and hisses but sometimes he watches Ghost's paws under the door quietly and just lays there very close to the door. When there's more quiet interest than hissing, we'll hit the next stage!
Routines are great.. hybriseris hybriseris :thumbsup:
Especially for cats, ..since they slowly Accept that the 'other cat'...will 'not steal their food, steal their litterbox, or take over the place'.
Basically, the cats both feel that their 'territory' is secure,...and that they are 'safe'.

You actually might be able to move to the 'Visual stage'...by draping a 'bedsheet'...over the baby gates.
Jackson Galaxy talks of this method, where the bedsheet is slowly, raised, by inches...everyday,...so that both cats do not get overwhelmed by the "Sight" of the other cat.
(I guess it makes the other cat 'look smaller'...while the cats are eating closer and closer to the gate.)

Since you mentioned that your Shadow, is not really food motivated...but if he does enjoy Treats...then you can try 'draping a bedsheet'..and luring him closer to the Gate.
Or you can try...with no bedsheet...and just have the gates, securely in place.

This way, you can see both cats...and you can also stand in the 'middle between them'...or use a 'piece of cardboard'...to "Block their sight line"...when any of the cats...intensely go into "lockdown, Stare mode".
Even if you hold a large pillow, towel, blanket,...that can be used to 'block the line of sight'.

Blocking their 'line of sight'...helps to see if you can Distract the cats.

Distracting with cat Toys...is another good method, since it enables you to see...how Distracted the cats can be.
Again, start by Playing...near the gates, and then watching what each cat does.
You'll have to Play with one cat, on one side, and then the other.
So it might be a bit tough, to watch both cats...but it will give you some indications...on how 'riled up' or 'excited' any of them get...with watching each other..(or how distracted you can get them with the cat toys)...(wand toys, I find, are the best.)

rubysmama rubysmama ...already posted the 'Cat Site Article' about cat-to-cat intros..in Post #3...but I'll post it again, here, in case others read this thread, and don't want to switch back a page.
You've probably read our article on cat introductions, but in case you haven't here's the link:
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide | TheCatSite

I actually use the "5 Senses" method of cat-to-cat introductions...because I find it easier to remember for me.
  1. Hearing ...where the cats can hear each other, but not see each other.
  2. then Scent....and especially the 'swapping the scents, mingling the scents' and 'allowing all the new cat's scents to be all over the home'...so much so...that your resident cat will recognize and Accept the new cat as part of their territory. This is the part where "Scent swaps" and "Room Swaps" are practiced to get both cats' scents everywhere.
  3. Visual is next, but you are still doing Scent Exchange, and Rewarding any Good Interactions with Treats/Food/praise.
  4. Taste is using Food and Treats to make Positive Associations and encourage more Acceptance.
  5. Finally, Touch,...is when you've observed that your resident cat is no longer bothered by the smells, or sight of the new cat,...and you've noticed a huge decrease in your resident cat's fear responses.
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There are other methods, like Jackson Galaxy's...which I think emphasizes Food, Play, and Love/attention.
With a lot of 'catification' ..in having plenty of escape routes, and no dead ends,...for one cat to corner the other.

Whatever method you choose, as long as you have a Plan in place, and follow it, things should go well.

Remember to Enjoy this Time, too. :)
Take plenty of photos, and videos,...since the time goes by so quickly,...though I guess when you are actually 'in the midst' of doing cat intros'...then Time might feel like it's dragging on and on. :frustrated::eek2::thud:
Patience is definitely the key. :bluepaw:

I guess it's also a matter of Perspective, and you try to remember to not rush any Stages/Steps
Like you said above, until Shadow is so bored...that he's basically not even bothered...when he sees Ghost through the gates. :blackcat:

When you get to the 'Visual Stage'...you will probably notice more responses, and more reactions, but this will be entirely normal.
As long as they all 'lessen with time', and you see a 'decrease' in the 'fight or flight response'...you'll know that things are progressing.
More pics. Shadow lounging on my lap, and Ghost the first time he laid down outside his safe room!
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Thank you for posting the above photos. :)
I find both your cats are gorgeous and very expressive. :lovecat2:

Your photos made me lol...because they are so adorable.

The first one, I thought that Shadow looked to be 'waving his paw' at the camera.:bluepaw:
Then I looked a little bit closer, and he seems to be touching your hair.
I thought, "well, that's kind of interesting. To have a cat that grooms his human, and not the other way around."
"That Shadow is one special cat. He might have been a hairdresser in a previous life". :blush: :lol:

But the second photos of Ghost, had me rolling around laughing. :flail:
First Ghost looks...like he may want to eat that guy behind him,...in that luscious green jungle setting.:biggrin:
Secondly, I think your Ghost...has way better front leg tattoos...than that guy.
Third, Ghost might just be laughing...at any bad acting, he's seeing on screen. :crackup:
(plus, Ghost has way better muscles than that human, any day of the week) :cool2::coolcat::bicolorcat:

Anyhow, I hope things go well, this weekend.:goodluck:

(and Yes, I will start that 'horsey talk' thread on friday, even though I think that the two 'horse people' here, might just 'shake their heads and laugh' at all the dumb questions I have. Oh, well, at least it's better to ask online, versus IRL, I think.:lol:) :thumbsup:
 
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