Introducing two kittens

[Artistwolf]

Hello everyone!
My sister got a black kitten named Moon a couple months ago. He’s nine months old now, and just so super playful that they thought getting a friend for him might be a smart idea. So they got a new orange and white kitten, who is four months old. They’re about the same size as each other. The new cat has spent the last couple days in the laundry room, and the two cats can see each other through the glass laundry room door.
Introductions are being difficult though, because Moon is too playful, while the new orange cat is much more nervous, resulting in a bit of hissing and swatting. How do we proceed from here? I’ll attach links to a couple videos to give you an idea of how it’s going:
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I hope that’s allowed.
Do you think we’ll be able to successfully introduce these two?
Thank you so much in advance for any help!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Yep, you will, and probably soon than you think. Your main job is going to be to distract Moon when the new kitten gets overwhelmed. There is going to be a LOT of hissing, squalling, swatting. That's actually a pretty normal part of kitten play. ALL cat play is practice for the HUNT, a major thing for them.

For now, keep them separate, but take turns with who is locked up. Give the new kitten plenty of time out and about, to get used to the new territory. As he does this, he will also get used to Moon's scent. The more their scents mix, the more at home the newbie is going to be. Before you know it, Moon and Whatshisface will be playing happily together (and you'll still be wondering if they are going to murder each other).

What is this new kitten's name? I cannot keep calling him "Whatshisface!"

 

[UnoMama]

Hi,

You might want to re-upload your videos - the link takes me to a download page and clicking the download button says that the page/ video doesn't exist. It'll definitely be helpful to watch the video to get a sense of how aggressive the swatting is and what their body language is like.

In the absence of the videos for now, I'll give you some perspective from when I introduced my kittens - they were both about 7 months (or so) and yes, the same size as well.
First off - some hissing and swatting is absolutely normal, it's rare that kittens become BFFs from the word go. They're getting to know each other, testing their limits with each other and sussing out the other's reactions. Bear in mind also that what sometimes looks a little 'rough' to us (as humans) is ok behaviour and par-for-the-course in the feline world. Just important to keep that perspective and not freak out.
Second - it's only been 2 days yet, and introductions usually take longer. It might not be time yet to let them interact. Keep them separated if it feels like the new cat is too nervous and not keen to interact just yet. She's in a new home, completely new people and environment and must feel threatened by literally everything right now. It'll take time for her to get used to the place and want to interact in a regular way. And yes, of course the resident cat is more comfotable (it was already his territory!) and wants to play - my resident cat did too, and the new one kept hissing at him because he literally just wanted to be left alone

You mention that the resident cat is pretty social and playful - which is a great starting point. Can you give more info about the new cat's personality? Different personalities will take different amounts of time to 'gel' (and sometimes might not gel at all, just like all humans aren't necessarily friends). Is the new cat bold? shy? a wallflower? aggressive? - what did the fosters/rescue/shelter/previous owner have to say about her?

Overall - a few things that are almost certain to help:
1. Feed them on opposite sides of the door, where they can see each other, but neither's food is threatened. Start by placing food bowls a little way away from the door and slowly move them nearer the door with each mealtime. Allows the cats to observe each other and make a positive association of the other cat with something good (food!)
2. Allow some more time before interactions if needed, and when they start interacting, keep it supervised and for short intervals. New cat comes out, has a short play session - humans should be there with a toy or two to distract the cats - and then goes back inside where it's nice and safe.
3. Site-swapping ... let the resident cat spend some time in the laundry room while new cat explores the house uninterrupted and at her own pace. This will help each of them get familiar with the other's smell. It also gives the newcomer a chance to mark her smell on the rest of the house so she begins to feel at home.

Hope some of this helps, and good luck with continuing the introductions... they're at a good age, chances of success are high!

 

[ArtNJ]

Honestly, its not so complicated. Friendship is pretty close to a guarranty. Let them work it out.

Phased formal introductions are not needed for kittens. They are too adaptible.

You literally can't do this wrong, they will end up friends, so whatever you do is fine, but I wouldn't fuss with some convoluted process. They can and will work this out.

The roughness of the play throws many for a loop, thats normal. But thats how cats, and kittens in particular, play.

 

[Artistwolf]

Thank you so much! That’s all so reassuring. I like the feeding idea, but unfortunately the bottom of the door is wooden, so they can only see each other if they’re standing up tall. It might still be helpful anyway.
Here are the videos again—trying YouTube now, lol. The first two are more general, the last one is where the new cat really started getting a bit upset.
Cats meeting each other, 1
Cats meeting each other 2
Cats meeting each other 3

To answer your question about the new guy (who, sorry, doesn’t have a name yet, haha), he’s got a super, super sweet personality. Before this, he apparently got along with other cats very well—he was housed with another cat at Petco for a couple days and they looked like best buddies. But he is calmer than Moon as well—he’s more the ‘crawl into your lap and sleep’ type, according to the foster parents, whereas Moon is very active and, if he doesn’t get enough play time, will attack your ankles. So they have got very different personalities. But, of course, they’re both kittens, so we figured they should still be able to match each other’s energy quite okay.

 

[UnoMama]

Ok So I watched the videos , and they're lovely cute kitties ... much love to both.

In the 3rd video - you're right - new kitty is genuinely annoyed and/or threatened. Growling is NOT a good thing, and you don't want to have this devolve into a real fight of any sort. It's not that they can't get over a fight ever, but a fight is a bad, hostile association with the other animal and it'll just take them much longer to trust each other after (I mean, we wouldn't want to be BFFs with a kid who just punched us in the playground would we! same thing essentially).

New kitty seems like a normal, active kitten though, not particularly scared or upset in the other videos... just ... taking her time to adjust to new surroundings. Just give her more downtime, and don't push her to socialize. Cats are easily over stimulated and that's when they get nervous and defensive and snipey.

Gold standard on introducing cats, the Jackson Galaxy method:
I don't feel like we can follow ALL his steps, it's a bit much to do for most cat owners, but truth is you don't need to go through the steps by the book....However, you do want to help things along and give them a good shot at being real friends, rather than vaguely hostile roommates.

See what's working with your cats, and adjust accordingly. I never managed the feeding by the door for instance, but I did do site swapping, and very regulated playtime outings, and I'd separate them the moment I noticed any crankiness in either cat. I did this till I was absolutely sure of them being comfortable around each other, and I've never had a moment's worry since. I now have a pair of highly bonded cats that I cannot separate now without them howling for each other!

Some positive signs you can watch for and maybe encourage with treats:
1. Butt sniffing - this is GREAT, they're getting acquainted
2. Showing their belly to each other - This is the cat indicating that they're open and vulnerable. No animal shows anyone their belly unless they trust the other creature not to kill them. My resident cat started doing this early, and while new cat remained suspicious, it would help him calm down.
3. Play-fighting, but without growling or hissing. As long as neither cat is making 'sounds' ... it's good interaction. Growls, hissing, yowls, yelps .... this is bad, it means someone is hurt or defensive or just ...distressed. Separate immediately and give them time to calm down in a quiet space.

Keep us posted with more videos

 

[ArtNJ]

Kittens don't have real fights, otherwise I'd agree with the above. Yes, the 4 month old is scared and hissy and swatty. But thats ok, time can fix that. You certainly can do a formal introduction process. It should help, and can't possibly hurt. However, if you just watch and wait, separating them when you aren't around, they should be friends within 2 days or so, a week if you are unlucky.

A 9 month old is old enough that it could theoretically want to get into a real fight with another adult cat. But adult cats don't hurt kittens -- its biological hard wiring. So there is just no possibility of a real fight here, despite the fact that small kitten is scared and stressed.

Kittens are the most adaptible of cats. Once in a while it does take about a week for them to settle in though, and get used to a new home, new people, new cat, etc... Usually much less, and very rarely a bit more.

 

[UnoMama]

Kittens don't have real fights, otherwise I'd agree with the above. Yes, the 4 month old is scared and hissy and swatty. But thats ok, time can fix that. You certainly can do a formal introduction process. It should help, and can't possibly hurt. However, if you just watch and wait, separating them when you aren't around, they should be friends within 2 days or so, a week if you are unlucky.

A 9 month old is old enough that it could theoretically want to get into a real fight with another adult cat. But adult cats don't hurt kittens -- its biological hard wiring. So there is just no possibility of a real fight here, despite the fact that small kitten is scared and stressed.

Kittens are the most adaptible of cats. Once in a while it does take about a week for them to settle in though, and get used to a new home, new people, new cat, etc... Usually much less, and very rarely a bit more.

I'm afraid I have to disagree - fights absolutely happen, and they can happen between kittens, and between a cat and kitten as well. it's not biologically hardwired that the same species will NEVER hurt another of its own kind. Cats are territorial and WILL lash out if they feel threatened in any way. Additionally - the resident cat has not lived with another cat till now and does not necessarily have the right social language (mine didn't!) ... and will not automatically do the right things.

And yes, while kittens are largely adaptable and the kittens mentioned by OP are at a great age, I really do not believe that introductions are a matter of 'cats will work it out'. These are 2 cats that have been placed in each other's company by humans and it's not something they will automatically work out. This is why many cats never get along for life. Our job as the humans who have made these decisions (for the cats - they really did not choose each other as companions) ...is to give them a good shot at fostering a positive association and friendship. And proper introductions absolutely work in doing that. Not failproof, but I'd rather make the effort than not.

There's a reason there's so much literature and advise available across the web for cat introductions, including this very site:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

 

[Artistwolf]

Thank you so much, guys. I’ve been passing along this information and it’s been really helpful.
My sister did decide to put them together again, after allowing the new cat (who is now named Mars!) to explore the house with Moon locked away. The new introduction worked alright, but now the problem is that Moon just seems… too obsessed with Mars. He barely gives Mars any room to breathe, and is always following him around and in his face trying to play with him. When they do start playing, it devolves very quickly into Mars hissing and growling and yelping. Moon does bite people when he gets too wound up, and he is not gentle, so we’re wondering if it’s perhaps that he doesn’t have good play-bite manners. Still, it’s a problem. The weird thing is though, Mars isn’t afraid of Moon anymore, and if they’re separated again, Moon meows at the door to go back out, and Mars walks to the other side of the door and acts like he wants to see Moon. It almost feels to me like Mars wants a friend, but Moon is just way more obsessive and rough than Mars is wanting. Mars loves playing with toys as well, but Moon will ignore all toys and only focus on Mars, so we’re now worried that Mars isn’t getting any break from Moon constantly trying to mess with him unless they’re separated, but separating them gets Moon wound up and thus more aggressive when they’re together again or even just with his owners (biting them, for example, because he’s so wound up over being separated). Moon unfortunately is not the sweetest cat ever, and it’s a bit of a problem. I know it hasn’t been long though… should we just wait it out? Mars is the sweetest thing, and I feel so bad for him being bullied. I wonder if they need more separated time, but my sister and her husband hate that idea because of Moon’s issues with it.
On the plus side, this did happen for about two minutes… see photo at the end of this post (Mars was there first, then Moon I think got jealous and had to jump up on my brother in law’s lap as well).
My sister also fed them right next to each other, and they did well with that (again, see attached photo).

 

[UnoMama]

but now the problem is that Moon just seems… too obsessed with Mars. He barely gives Mars any room to breathe, and is always following him around and in his face trying to play with him.

Ohhh this reminds me of my Uno (white) with our new addition Bandit (black) ... he would just NOT leave bandit alone! and Bandit wasn't being mean or anti social - he just wanted breathing room to explore and get to know everything at his pace. But Uno would constantly follow him around and try to engage him in play. I could FEEL Bandit's exhaustion with Uno

My take is:
1. You have to let this dynamic play out. You can't make the extrovert cat understand the (currently) introvert cat.... this is human language and interpretation. Mars is making her feelings vocally known, and Moon will have to get it sooner or later. Again, just watch out and don't let a situation devolve into an actual fight. Keep an eye on both cats when they're roaming the house, and keep pillows/cardboard sheets handy in case you have to actually break them apart quickly. It likely won't last long - Moon is simply obsessed with the newcomer, and is going a bit over the top. He'll calm down as the novelty wears off. Mars will also give up and give in and start interacting.
2. . This doesn't mean you let them free roam with each other all the time. They'll end up getting wound up by each other's company - moon increasingly obssessing and mars increasingly annoyed - and it will lead to crankiness and a fight. Please do take this seriously ... getting overstimulated in each others' company was the only thing that made my cats fight one time, and it led to a nicked ear. Overstimulation is a real thing in cats, and right now they're winding each other up ... you don't want them to get so wound up that one of them snaps and it's mayhem.
Unfortunately, this likely means that Moon needs to suck it up and deal with the separation for some time longer. Probably good for him to learn that EVERYTHING can't go his way . Put him in a different room with no toys or noise for a bit, he'll calm down. He sounds like he's getting too wound up over ... everything. And mars needs some downtime as well.
I'd highly recommend separating them at night for sure - your sister and brother-in-law won't be able to wake up and reach the cats in case they do end up fighting and there goes all your progress down the drain!

Other than this, great signs ... they're actually getting along, just that one of them is a bit over the top obsessed

 

[ArtNJ]

You can let the smaller kitten be your guide. If he isn't bothered, except in the moment of rough play itself, you don't need to be. In other words, if the kitten yelps, hisses, runs or hides, but comes right back out in 5 minutes and acts like nothing happened and even initiates play sometimes, then everything is fine.

This is a super common situation, and as such I'm very confident in this advice -- you can safely defer to the smaller kitten. And it sounds like you are being "told" by the kitten that its not actually a serious problem.

The above advice does not mean that the smaller kitten isn't being made uncomfortable by the rough play, he is. But that is the extent of it, discomfort, not actual pain. If you have ever seen how very young human boys play when there is an age difference, its similar. The 3 year old might cry for mom regularly at the stuff the 6 year old is doing, (like a head "noogie" if you know what that is) but would be desperately unhappy if you kept him from big brother.

Its fine to distract if the smaller kitten seems particularly miserable, but otherwise you can let this play out.

 

[Artistwolf]

Sorry it’s taken so long for me to respond! I passed on your guys’ advice, and thank you so much for that, because I’ve got great news!
They seem to be getting along okay now! No more crazy fights, so we’re all super relieved. Moon loves having a friend and it seems to have calmed him—no recent ankle attacks, from what my sister’s told me!
Look at ‘em, getting along