Introducing a second cat in a small apartment, I NEED your advice!

[chiarabab]

Hi everyone!

Last summer i posted here to ask you if there are alternatives to slow introduction since I wanted to give my then-4-months-old Fletcher a kitten companion. You were so kind and useful that I now want to ask for your advice again, since in a month we'll be adopting our second cat. 

We wanted to do that earlier, but my boyfriend was between jobs for longer than expected and, not being financially stable, we thought better to postpone the decision. Now everything fell into place and we feel like we cannot delay any longer, so i need need need your experience to guide me!

Some information on our family setting:

• When I say "we" I am referring to me and the boyfriend. We are 27 years old, we live in a small apartment (about 650 square feet) in Milan (Italy) and we both work 8 to 12 hours a day. My boyfriend, however, works from home often. 
• Fletcher is a black longhair male cat just out of kittenhood. He is now 8 months old and will be 9 at the time of the introduction, he is neutered and has a very laid-back, sweet disposition. He's also, as you may guess, spoiled rotten 
  
• Our home is divided in tree rooms, plus a very tiny bathroom (really tiny, we can barely move in there). When you enter the apartment you are in the kitchen, then you walk in the living room and from there you can reach the bedroom. You access the bathroom from the kitchen. The doors are very old and weak, Fletcher was able to open them without much effort when he was barely 2 months old. 
• The reason why we want to wait till after Christmas is that we'll both have about a week of vacation from work to spend at home with the two cats. 

Now that you know us, it's question time! 

• What age should the new kitten be? We are aiming for a kitten that will be between 5 and 8 months old at the time of introduction, should we aim for a more precise or entirely different age span?
• Which gender is better? For us is quite the same. We would like a female cat just because she should be more tiny and I love the sweeter facial features of girl kitties but it's really the same. Right now I feel like Fletcher was for us, but the new kitten will be for him. Obviously we will fall immediatly in love, but we are not looking for the pretty kitten, we want the right temperament. Last time some of you suggested that a male kitten would be better, but I'd like to ask you again just to have some new opinion and stories...
• What is personality match? I read somewhere, but for the life of me I cannot remember where, that cats can have three different types of personality and that personality A goes along well with other As, B with Bs and so on. Is there any truth to this? Where can I find reliable informations on the subject? And most of all... How can I understand what is Fletcher's personality and the one of the kittens I am considering for adoption? What question should I ask to the volunteers?
• What are the most important precaution we shoud have before and during the introduction? We are already planning to confine the new kitten in the bathroom for 24 hours and to use a Feliway diffuser beginning with two days before the new arrival.
• And now... on a lighter note... What colour and pattern would, in your opinion, complement better a black cat? I know black goes with everything, but I cannot help imagine the effect of the two of them curled up together... 
  

Today we were thought for a moment that we had found the perfect red boy... Turns out he's FELV positive 

 I'm heartbroken for the poor guy, I hope he'll find a good caring home. 

 

[misskittee]

I would look for a cat in similar age and temperament. and male. Females are more apt to fret than males. Make sure you don't get an aggressive young cat or he might try to run off Fletcher. The only way to know is to hang out with the cat somehow to see how he behaves with other cats.

I am so sorry the red boy did not work out. We took a feline HIV cat in at 4 months. He lived to be 12 years old and he was one of our most memorable kitties we've ever had. Big personality, we still talk of "Harold" and of course miss him. Just make sure you vaccinate Fletcher if you decide to go back and get red boy.

Hope you find Fletcher's perfect mate soon. Janet

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• misskittee
• Nov 27, 2013

 

Our Harold

 

[chiarabab]

 
Our Harold

Hello Janet, thank you for your kind and informative answer. Your Harold was a truly handsome boy! 

The only reason we don't take in the red guy is that we would be, despite the vaccine, too worried for Fletcher. I would adopt any kitten in a heart-beat, and I'd really like to adopt an adult cat, for example, but this one time I have to put Fletcher first. The red kitten is a cutie (you can see him here) but I just don't feel comfortable taking the chance. 

Thank you for your advice, it will be kept in great consideration! Did you ever do a "sudden" introduction between two cats? How did it go? Please share your stories!

 

[tulosai]

Hi!! What a happy thing that you are welcoming a new kitty.

In regards to age, I second what was said above me.  You want a cat that is almost the same age as Fletcher.  If Fletcher will be 9 months old, I'd aim for a kitten between 8 and 10 months old ideally, but no younger than 6 months and no older than 1 year.

If Fletcher is a boy and both cats are fixed, gender won't matter too much.  I actually disagree with the post above me and would lean toward getting a (spayed) female, but personality is most important.  There are crabby females and territorial males and vice versa and everything in  between.  I would consider gender very little if you think the temperaments and age are a good match. 

I would  not panic much about personality.  Only a few things are very important: to find a cat that likes other cats, that has an activity level similar to that of Fletcher, and does not have any behavioral problems you would not be able to deal with.  I'd basically just ask volunteers if the cat is social with other cats, if he or she is social with people (not important for Fletcher, but doubtless important for YOU), how active the cat is, some of the cat's favorite things, and if there are behavioral issues.  

In terms of precautions, you have to be prepared to leave the new cat in the bathroom for way, WAY over 24 hours.  I mean this as respectfully as possible, but cats can take WEEKS to get used to one another.  You may have to leave the new cat in there a whole week or more, then swap Fletcher into the bathroom for a whole other week or more just to have them get used to one another's scents before even trying any kind of other introduction.  I think realistically, though you have a better chance than most of this working out well since Fletcher and the other cat will still be relatively young, you should be prepared to have introductions span at least a month if necessary.  I hope SO much that this doesn't sound harsh, but I think it would do you and the cats a disservice to pretend otherwise.

As for color, I'm not comfortable weighing in on that (though I know ti was a lighthearted question). Best to find a good match, color is very unimportant.

Good luck with this addition! It is very exciting! 

 

[chiarabab]

 
In terms of precautions, you have to be prepared to leave the new cat in the bathroom for way, WAY over 24 hours.  I mean this as respectfully as possible, but cats can take WEEKS to get used to one another.  You may have to leave the new cat in there a whole week or more, then swap Fletcher into the bathroom for a whole other week or more just to have them get used to one another's scents before even trying any kind of other introduction.  I think realistically, though you have a better chance than most of this working out well since Fletcher and the other cat will still be relatively young, you should be prepared to have introductions span at least a month if necessary.  I hope SO much that this doesn't sound harsh, but I think it would do you and the cats a disservice to pretend otherwise.

You are not harsh at all, believe me, I was prepared to hear this. Our bathroom is not only small, but also very narrow. Just to explain better, if one of us is having a shower there is no place on the pavement for the litter box. I could confine a new kitten there for two days top (not Fletcher, not even for a few hours: he would tear the door apart to get out), and that would mean:

• placing the litterbox in the shower when the shower is not in use
• putting the litterbox precariously on the closed toilet when we are under the shower
• do extreme contorsionism to enter and exit the bathroom without letting the cat go out because, really, the door barely opens as it is
• never having a place to put a cat bed or something soft to rest on
• having a kitten for long time into the most unconfortable place of the house
• making him or her eat and drink very near to the litterbox

As you can see, this is not something we could keep doing for long. I'm afraid that the only alternative to an almost sudden introduction is no introduction at all... meaning not getting another cat. I'm trying to do pros and cons here: if the general consensus is that the benefit of having a companion would not compensate the possible stress of the introduction, I will let go og the idea. I beg you to forgive me if I am explaining myself in a rude manner, it's not my intention at all but being english not my first language I often miss the nuances!

 

[chiarabab]

Allow me to add a few words on the bathroom situation:

We are used to take showers with the door slightly open because it's too suffocating in there, once I fainted in the shower and that's not only unconfortable, it's dangerous.

I really am willing to compromise and sacrifice a lot for the sake of my pets but this would prove hard to the point of making me reconsider the idea of taking in a new cat.

Please if you think that the possible stress of a sudden introduction will be superior to the eventual benefits of having a companion just tell me so I need to be prepared to change my mind!

If, however, you have any tips or ideas on how to smoothen a sudden introduction please share them with me!

I'll be grateful either way

 

[tulosai]

Hi again First I want you to know that your English is perfect and you are coming across perfectly, at least to me.  I used to live in France and I still cringe thinking about how 'bad' my French was (even though I could make myself understood) compared to so many people on this forum and elsewhere who speak English as their second language.

Anyway, back on topic.  Your question is unfortunately one that you're going to have to try to answer yourself. I feel that you seem like an extremely thoughtful person who wants the very best for your cats.  I think a lot of advice you got on your last post about this was pretty good actually.  I especially liked @catspaw66  response, and @Callista  response.  Is there any way you could use Callista's suggestion to keep the new cat in a large dog crate in the main room for a while?

Fundamentally, though, I agree with catspaw66's advice.

 
If you can't do a slow introduction, it will be a lot more difficult to add a new cat to your house.

No, you don't have to give up on adopting another cat. Just remember, you are doing this so Fletcher can have a friend. If he is not comfortable with the new cat you bring in, you have defeated your purpose.

I have done sudden introductions, and it was not a complete disaster. It just took several months before the behavioral problems completely went away. This was introducing kittens to adult cats.,,

You need to ask yourself, how much hissing, slapping, stalking, and maybe serious fighting you are able to put up with. However, sometimes a new cat will fit in just perfectly from the very start. It depends on the personality of both of them. It doesn't matter whether the new one is a male or female, the result will most likely be the same.

I know you want more of a definite answer than that, but honestly, I think that is the best we can do for you 

 Unfortunately none of us know Fletcher and none of us can predict accurately how well an introduction might go.  I think you and your boyfriend need to really think about it and weigh pro and cons.

I do think most cats are happier with a companion.

 

[chiarabab]

Hi again First I want you to know that your English is perfect and you are coming across perfectly, at least to me. I used to live in France and I still cringe thinking about how 'bad' my French was (even though I could make myself understood) compared to so many people on this forum and elsewhere who speak English as their second language.

Anyway, back on topic. Your question is unfortunately one that you're going to have to try to answer yourself. I feel that you seem like an extremely thoughtful person who wants the very best for your cats. I think a lot of advice you got on your last post about this was pretty good actually. I especially liked @catspaw66
response, and @Callista
response. Is there any way you could use Callista's suggestion to keep the new cat in a large dog crate in the main room for a while?

Fundamentally, though, I agree with catspaw66's advice.

I know you want more of a definite answer than that, but honestly, I think that is the best we can do for you Unfortunately none of us know Fletcher and none of us can predict accurately how well an introduction might go. I think you and your boyfriend need to really think about it and weigh pro and cons.

I do think most cats are happier with a companion.

Hi again to you and thank you for your kindness I am glad that you saw how my insistence is motivated by a deep involvement in my cat's well being. As much as I'd love having a second kitten around, I feel like Fletcher is such a perfect cat that I don't really feel the need for another, and I'm actually a little scared to find myself with a little terror to handle :-D after having such a sweet, well-behaved kitten! One could say that right now Fletcher is my priority, and the reason why I'm thinking of a second cat. I'm like those parents who love so much their first child that they decide to make a second just so he can have the experience of growing up with a sibling! I hope I don't sound awful saying that, but I'm sure that I'm gonna love the new kitten as much as I love Fletcher...
I am, however, obsessed with doing things right. But you are absolutely right, I'm the only one who can judge Fletcher's temperament and the other cat's. I really think we are doing this... I will follow your advices and go find a big dog crate, maybe we'll try to figure ways to keep them truly separated for a few days... I'll keep you posted!
Btw, what should be in your opinion the minimum age of the new kitten? I'm calling shelters and looking around and it seems to be a gap between small kittens (2-4 months old) and adult cats (more than one year old). I know for sure that I want a cat younger than Fletcher, but I don't know how far down can I go... If it was completely up to me I would adopt only adult cats, always!

 

[lamiatron]

 

[panther n river]

Lil' jet is so cute. I have a weakness for black cats. My lil' Panther is such a sweet, loving, and very loyal cat that I think all of them are like that!

 

[lamiatron]

 
Lil' jet is so cute. I have a weakness for black cats. My lil' Panther is such a sweet, loving, and very loyal cat that I think all of them are like that!

Thank you. She really is adorable. And Panther is gorgeous. Black cats are so beautiful and stealth...like mini panthers haha. 

 

[chiarabab]

Hi again everyone we are still looking for kittens. I'll make sure to update you all as soon as I have a candidate. In the meantime, here's a picture of soon-to-be big brother Fletcher

image.jpg

• chiarabab
• Nov 29, 2013

Here, as you may guess, I was holding food in my hand

image.jpg

• chiarabab
• Nov 29, 2013

Here he's watching a movie with my boyfriend (weird coloring due to closed red courtains + sunny day)

image.jpg

• chiarabab
• Nov 29, 2013

And here he's relaxing in the sun

 

[ldg]

I think it really doesn't matter, male or female. In my experience, males are more social, females more pissy. That's based on 8 indoor-only rescue kitties and a lot of fosters. Obviously it doesn't hold true all the time.

In the end, you'll look at kitties, and one will pick you. The sex might not be what you wanted, the age may not be what you were looking for (though I do think younger is more likely to be easier).... in the end, how you make the introductions is what matters.

Talk to Fletcher. Tell him now what you're thinking and what you're doing. Be excited about his new brother or sister, and let him know you are getting HIM a little brother or sister.

It is our natural tendency to want to "protect" the new kitten. Fight this instinct. And in the end, don't focus at ALL on them meeting each other. Cats are territorial, and all cat "introductions" are is learning to happily share the same space. Anything beyond that will happen on its own or not. All we can do is make it go more smoothly.

Given you're in a smaller space, do you have a lot of vertical space set up for the kitties? Cat trees? Dedicated shelves? Having vertical space will go a long way in helping Fletcher and your newbie, because height is a way kitties show dominance. And let's not forget: Fletcher may NOT turn out to be the alpha cat. You cannot force this, in fact, attempting to do so usually makes things worse.

What you DO need to do is focus on Fletcher throughout the process. He is your number one kitty, and he is your priority. He should receive MORE attention, lots of reassurance, and do everything for Fletcher first: put his food down first, give him treats first, pet him first, play with him first, etc. If he hisses at the new kitty, do not tell him "no." Tell him he's a good boy for expressing his limits, his boundaries.

Then just do everything you can to help Fletcher associate the new kitty with good things. Rub the new kitty all over with several rags, and put one under Fletcher's food dish (you can do the same for new kitty with Fletcher's scent). Put treats down for them on "other kitty" scented clean rags.

And when you first bring the new kitty home - just play it by ear. See how Fletcher reacts. If possible, you can even bring a rag with the new kitty's scent on it home before you officially adopt and bring new kitty home. Wherever you release new kitty, one of you keep Fletcher distracted - with play, with pets, whatever. And if he's too curious, and wants to meet the new kitty right away, again, do not focus on the two cats interacting. Get them BOTH distracted with play, with food, with treats, with whatever - but get them focused on doing something in the same space, not focused on each other.

I've never used a crate for introductions. We live in a home that is about 300 sq. ft.

So my summary is:

Don't worry so much about age and sex, though younger than Fletcher may help. Kitty will pick you.
If possible, bring a new kitty scented rag (or two) home before you bring new kitty. Let Fletcher get used to new cat scent in his space.
When it comes to bringing new kitty home, do not focus on them meeting each other, focus on getting them enjoying being in the same space.
Always give Fletcher attention first, give Fletcher everything first, to avoid jealousy and reassure him.
Let them be cats and express themselves as cats. Hissing, growling, expressions of "stay out of my face" are NOT bad.
Use food and play as distractions. It's not about them liking each other, that will come. It's about them sharing the same space.
Get Fletcher and new kitty associating each other with good things (food & play) as quickly as possible.
Let Fletcher think the new kitty is HIS. This is his new "toy," and this is ALL about Fletcher. This new kitty means MORE attention for Fletcher, MORE play for Fletcher, MORE treats, MORE FUN!

:rub:

 

[catpack]

I agree with the comparison of the brother-sister bond when it comes to male-female cats. It can work. And they can become close. However, I have personally found that when introducing a new cat to a male cat's territory, another (younger) male *tends* be a better fit. On a whole, when a female is introduced, one of two things happens...
1.) They fight for the dominance position.
2.) The male asserts himself over the female.

I think this happens simply because * most* females want to be in control and this creates tension between the cats. This absolutely is not the case 100% of the time. More like 65%.

I have 2 females and 4 males (and an assortment of fosters...mostly male.) My submissive (younger) female tends to be the one picked on by the males. My dominate (older) female is Queen Bee behind my oldest male. She gets into quarrels with her (litter mate) brother. The younger 2 males view her as "Momma Cat."

In general, you can have more male cats living together (so long as all are neutered) than you can females.

All of the males in the house have their "buddy" and most cannot sleep without that buddy. The younger female will occasionally cuddle up with one of the males. The older female prefers some space, but will share the bed or couch, just no cuddling.

It really comes down to your current cat's temperament and finding another cat to compliment him.

A dominate cat will need a laid-back confident companion.

A shy cat does best with an *older* sweet/social cat.

A rough playing, high energy cat does best with another like them.

A confident, laid-back cat does well with *most* cats, so long as they are not aggressive or too assertive.

Good luck! I am sure you will find Fletcher a buddy he can enjoy.

Give the shelter as much info you can about Fletcher and his personality and what you are looking for in a new furbaby.

 

[chiarabab]

Your cats are the cutest!! I love tabbys. And being Fletcher a black cat I have, just like Panther&River, this crazy positive bias towards them. 

But I am a bit confused... in the end, Jet is a boy or a girl kitten?

I wanted to thank you all and share with you the picture of the kitten we'll likely adopt. He's a rescue from a flooded region of Italy (the region I, too, came from... So I already feel a bond!) and his rescuers tell us that he has a very mellow personality. He's 5 months old now, so roughly 3 months younger than Fletcher. FIV/FELV negative, vaccinated, not neutered yet (but will be soon). They agreed to keep him for another month and let us adopt him right after Christmas, despite other families asked for him, just because they liked so much how we care for Fletcher 

Boris24nov.jpg

• chiarabab
• Nov 30, 2013

 

[lamiatron]

Jet is a female and Charlie is male. I'm so happy to see u guys have found a younger car for fletcher I have hopes that they will get along and share an awesome bond. Just be patient, and loving as u already have been. Good luck! Please do keep us posted

 

[panther n river]

Gorgeous little boy. So you also decided to make your black and white couple like me. My River  probably looked like that when he was a baby. When we first met it was love at first sight for both of us. He's so babyish! I think I've gotten him too spoiled because we just adopted a stray, young boy, an orange tabby

, and he's been so depressed like a child when a new baby arrives home. 

 

Anyways, Congratulations on your new kitten, I hope they are a good match like my Panther&River have been. 

 

 

[mark456]

Either Male or Female can be kept in the Apartment. I Think White color Kitten will be suitable.

 

[chiarabab]

Hey! New Kitten reached my city this morning, and i'll meet him sometime this week or the next! I'm so excited about this... I'm thinking of keeping a diary about the introduction of the new cat just to keep you all posted about the "sudden" introduction and to receive your wonderful advice step-by-step!

 

[ldg]

Oh please do - and HOW exciting!!!!!