Thinking of a second cat, cannot do slow introduction. What are my options?

[chiarabab]

Hi everyone! So, I have a ~4 months old kitten (male) and I'd like to adopt a little friend for him after summer. I haven't yet decided, because first I have to consider if I can afford another cat and other practical stuff, but I'm trying to understand what my options are since I read that a cat is happier with a feline companion and, well, making my kitten happy is my goal.
Thing is: because of how my appartment is made, I cannot do slow introduction. It's literally impossible, there is a single mini-bathroom and the doors that separate the rooms (1 kitchen, 1 bedroom, 1 living room, all connected) are a joke that couldn't keep out a 6 weeks old kitten. I could probably somehow manage to keep the two separated for 24hours, but this wouldn't be a simple task and not something I could keep doing for a longer time without making everyone's life hell.

So, questions:
Do I have to give up on the idea of adopting another cat?
Are kitten better than older cats for a sudden, fast introduction? Fletcher would be at least 6 months old when we'll think about adopting another cat.
Fletcher is a male, would introducing a female go smoother or would another male be better? (Both cats would be neutered/spayed)
Did you have any experience with sudden introduction, and was it always a disaster?
With the given context, would it be better for Fletcher to be a single cat?

It's something that concerns me but I have no way to do slow introduction nor to adopt earlier another kitten, and I would love to hear advices from you guys.

 

[catspaw66]

If you can't do a slow introduction, it will be a lot more difficult to add a new cat to your house.

No, you don't have to give up on adopting another cat. Just remember, you are doing this so Fletcher can have a friend. If he is not comfortable with the new cat you bring in, you have defeated your purpose.

I have done sudden introductions, and it was not a complete disaster. It just took several months before the behavioral problems completely went away. This was introducing kittens to adult cats.

I always think cats are happier in pairs or groups, but some are content to be an only cat.

You need to ask yourself, how much hissing, slapping, stalking, and maybe serious fighting you are able to put up with. However, sometimes a new cat will fit in just perfectly from the very start. It depends on the personality of both of them. It doesn't matter whether the new one is a male or female, the result will most likely be the same.

You are the only one who can determine if Fletcher would be accepting right away or not. Observe him and his reactions to animals outside the windows.

 

[chiarabab]

You are the only one who can determine if Fletcher would be accepting right away or not. Observe him and his reactions to animals outside the windows.

Lol, we are on the 4th floor on a city street, he can barely react to cars! Apparently not even that is an option

 

[callista]

You could try, instead of dedicating a whole room to the purpose, putting the new cat in a large dog crate, big enough for all the comforts of home and with a blanket draped over three sides of it for privacy. I've kept fosters in a dog crate when I had an apartment with no doors except on the tiny bathroom, and despite initial hissing, both of the times I've done it the cats eventually got used to each other. I don't think it's as good as using a separate room, but it worked out okay. It does keep the cats from attacking each other and making any hostility worse. It is best to put the big dog crate somewhere that your current cat has not claimed strongly, and out of the way where it's quiet. There will be hissing, that's probably unavoidable unless you're lucky enough to get two very good-natured and sociable cats. But if they are kept away from each other, they can't fight, and can't form any particularly bad memories connected to each other. Then the usual routine of feeding them both treats near each other can be commenced, etc. etc. I don't know how long it would take, because in both cases the cats I was fostering stayed in the crate until they were recovered from illness, which was part of why they were in there to begin with. It's better than just throwing them in a room together and standing by with a towel to throw over them if they fight....

 

[hendrix]

I just did this for kittens around the same age about 2 weeks ago. Same type of setup. Luckily we introduced our new addition over the Fourth of July weekend. In total it took 3 days. Because this kitten is really to be a companion I would really make sure to get a temperament or personality match. Expect hissing swatting growling etc but they're young. How long have you had the 4 month old?

 

[violet]

If asked. the best advice I could give based on many years of experience:  adopt a kitten the same age, same sex.  Hopefully there will be no problems. 

 

[bluebird gal]

Following this closely as we too would like to and plan to adopt another cat within the year.   Since we live in a motorhome and travel in retirement it would be difficult, at best, to devote an entire room to the new addition for any length of time.   We have (and plan on) taking the advice we read here i.e., adopt another male roughly Si's age.  Hopefully we can find one that is being fostered so we can get a much better feel on personality.  Si shows great interest, no fear & sometimes is down right friendly to dogs while we have him outside on his harness walking around but unfortunately I don't yet have any experience at his reaction to other cats as we don't see many outside.

Good luck with your choice of kitten and hopefully everything goes smoothly.

 

[maewkaew]

Bluebird Gal... I think your Si is older than Fletcher, right?

The thing about a boy kitten the same age would apply more to Fletcher since he's still only 4 months himself.
If Si is around a year, he is an adult now. and might not accept another cat his own age as easily. In that case, without having a way to separate, I would go for a younger neutered male kitten. about 4 or 5 months. so not a tiny baby . but young enough not to seem like a threat.

In both of these families, Callista's idea about a big dog crate might be a good choice at least for a few days.

 

[ldg]

We live in an RV and could never make slow introductions, yet we now have 8 cats living in here. :lol3: Ours are all rescues that we rescued ourselves, so they were all feral cats.. What we did was trap the cat and take it directly to the vet. Funny - none of the cats we ever rescued had fleas. Anyway, in the earlier years, if they checked out healthwise, they'd get their vaccinations and deworming meds, and we'd bring them home, and release them into the bedroom, which we'd have set up with a number of hidey places, but the underneath the bed inaccessible, because once a feral cat hides there, you may not get them out for quite some time.

Our rescues were complicated by the fact that these were usually feral rescues, so they weren't used to people or being inside. :lol3: We'd just let the new cat hide, and prevent the other cats from getting too close. We're fortunate in that we work from home (or at the time, at least mostly so). If that weren't the case, we'd have left the cat in boarding until Friday night, I think. And as we had more cats, and some of them severely health-compromised, we'd keep the new rescues in boarding for at least two weeks - if no illness "bloomed" by then, we all assumed it was safe to bring them home at that point.

Our first kitties were really good about newbies; some of the additions weren't so good about other newbies. :lol3: We ALWAYS talked to the cats, telling them a new sister or brother was coming. And we reminded them all that they had no place to live, just like the new kitty has no home, so they'd better be understanding and welcoming. And whenever we had a rescue we needed to keep rather than sending to the foster network for adoption (we kept physically handicapped / health compromised cats after the first two rescues - though our third kitty was a feral we adopted out and rescued back because she was being abused. ), we just prayed that cat that needed rescuing was a male, because in our experience, males are so much better about other cats than females. :lol3: I know others have females that are great about new friends, but that just isn't the case with our cats.

So there'd usually be some hissing and such at first by someone.... we always kept an empty can with a few coins in it handy to break up a fight if need be, but we never needed to use it.

When we were new to cats, it was hard to tell if they were fighting or playing at first. Just watch the visual clues: are ears back/flat? Is the back ridged? Is the tail down, slowly waving back & forth? Any of these, and be holding that can of coins.... Is the tail up? Are the ears up? If that's the approach of one cat, they'll probably withdraw if the other cat hisses, indicating they want their space.

 

[chiarabab]

Thanks everyone for your tips and support! I'll try to summarise your advices below and add, point by point, follow up questions:

- try to use a big crate for the first few days...
- take a slightly younger cat... or was this advice directed at Bluebird Gal? What's the ideal "age proportion", assuming that Fletcher would be about 6-7 months old?
- pay attention to signals and body language...
Sadly I don't work from home that's the reason I'm thinking about adopting a friend for Fletcher.... Would a weekend be enough to understand if they are ok together? And most importantly... What if they are not? The thing that really scares me is that if they hate eachother I don't have a backup plan and I don't want to take an animal back to a shelter.
- same sex, same age. I understand the same age part, but why the "same sex"?

@hendrix: I had Fletcher since he was 6 weeks old.

Thanks guys you are great!

 

[hendrix]

Fletcher has definitely had a lot of alone time with you me has developed his territory, i.e., you and your apartment. Hendrix was neutered around 2 months old. Which I recommend doing before bringing a newbie in, or shortly after. Definitely once the new kitten isn't under the effects of surgery or vaccines.

I got another male on the advice of a few people and it worked out great. To be honest I was looking at females first but I was swayed to get my second boy Burton. He was neutered also around 8 weeks and before I brought him home.

If and when you do bring Fletcher a playmate, dot be surprised if he feels on edge. By that I mean his body is tight and maybe he growls.

I introduced my boys by keeping Burton in the bathroom and letting Hendrix roam around because I didn't want him to feel intruded upon in his territory. I made sure to rub them both with towels and exchange scent etc. I showed Burton the litter box and he picked it up instantly.

So then I put burton in the bedroom and brought Hendrix to the bathroom to check out the letterbox and he was not happy. He growled and hissed but at least burton was safe and Hendrix could investigate. Soon enough he used the litter box too and we never had any potty issues.

That was pretty much day one. On day two I used two large laundry baskets with all kinds of holes like a pseudo cage in order to get them closer for a bit of time and just see hear smell each other. I have them wet food to reinforce good feelings. I did this quite a few times during the day but gave each kitten a chance to roam around. I did this so burton could check out his new home and so that his scent would be around so Hendrix could get familiar with him.

Day three I let them run around supervised and wet food was a good common activity where I started with two dishes and moved them closer together slowly. Then out of one dish.

During this entire thing Hendrix was growling and hissing but he never ran away. I took his cues for how fast or slow to go. Burton was happy go lucky and didn't care about anything Hendrix did.

I will say that you should plan on devoting an entire weekend for the benefit of your two babies and if you have a friend or someone to help that would be very helpful.

By day four Hendrix finally reciprocated Burton's snuggles and grooming. I have since been replaced but it is a joy to watch them now. Even tonight they both came to bed and snuggled me so that's a first since I brought burton home two weeks ago.

Just be patient and try to read your cat. Fletcher will probably not let you pick him up or will growl at you if you do. For me it was fine because Hendrix sometimes seemed clueless why he was growling, he wanted to be near me but couldn't help himself but to growl.

Have yummy snacks to reward good behavior. Get them to smell like each other and you.

 

[bluebird gal]

That is true maewkaew ... based on vets inspection of his teeth during his neuter in March, he estimated him to be about 8mos old.  So we backed the dates up & made July 4th his birthday     So he just turned one year old.  

That is great info however, as I have been bypassing looking at kittens that age, looking more for neutered males roughly 8mo-1.5yrs old.  Good to know there is a broader spectrum!    And I totally understand what your saying about not being a threat.   Since we are retired we do have the time to dedicate to keeping them separated and using the great advice here about the crate / scent exchanges, etc.  so maybe we'll get lucky here in the future.  I know there are hundreds upon hundreds out there for adoption, but I'm holding out for another little DSH black cat. They are so terribly difficult to find homes for and yet such beautiful cats when they are healthy & loved.

And thanks to chiarabab for starting this discussion so all of us can learn more.

Bluebird Gal... I think your Si is older than Fletcher, right?

The thing about a boy kitten the same age would apply more to Fletcher since he's still only 4 months himself.
If Si is around a year, he is an adult now. and might not accept another cat his own age as easily. In that case, without having a way to separate, I would go for a younger neutered male kitten. about 4 or 5 months. so not a tiny baby . but young enough not to seem like a threat.

In both of these families, Callista's idea about a big dog crate might be a good choice at least for a few days.

 

[flintmccullough]

If-you-seriously-want-Fletcher-to-graduate-grooming-school,and-any-other-school-you-want-to-send-him-to,I-highly-recommend-you-hold-off-adopting-another-kitten-until-he-graduates.Training-him-is-going-to-be-that-much-harder,if-he-is-also-dealing-with-a-new-brother-or-sister,its-way-too-much-to-throw-at-him,all-at-once.

Teaching-him-to-interact-with-another-kitten,is-going-to-go-much-smoother,if-he-has-learned-and-responded-to-what-you-are-asking-him-to-do.

I-realize,not-everyone-wants-their-kitty-trained,as-one-would-train-a-show-kitten,some-don't-see-the-need,some-just-don't-want-to-bother-with-how-long-it-takes,but.......the-space-between-bench-tables/other-exhibitors,is-less-than-a-foot.Not-one-of-those-show-kitties....ever.....tries-to-attack-the-kitten-or-kitty-next-to-him-or-the-kitty-in-the-next-cage,in-the-ring.

So-there-are-advantages,to-training-them.

just-my-opinion.

 

[elizabeth1st]

Seriously reconsider! Managing difficulties myself. Even after following the guidelines in Pam Bennett's book, reality can be more difficult. Good luck

 

[chiarabab]

If-you-seriously-want-Fletcher-to-graduate-grooming-school,and-any-other-school-you-want-to-send-him-to,I-highly-recommend-you-hold-off-adopting-another-kitten-until-he-graduates.Training-him-is-going-to-be-that-much-harder,if-he-is-also-dealing-with-a-new-brother-or-sister,its-way-too-much-to-throw-at-him,all-at-once.

Teaching-him-to-interact-with-another-kitten,is-going-to-go-much-smoother,if-he-has-learned-and-responded-to-what-you-are-asking-him-to-do.

I-realize,not-everyone-wants-their-kitty-trained,as-one-would-train-a-show-kitten,some-don't-see-the-need,some-just-don't-want-to-bother-with-how-long-it-takes,but.......the-space-between-bench-tables/other-exhibitors,is-less-than-a-foot.Not-one-of-those-show-kitties....ever.....tries-to-attack-the-kitten-or-kitty-next-to-him-or-the-kitty-in-the-next-cage,in-the-ring.

So-there-are-advantages,to-training-them.

just-my-opinion.

Oh, don't worry about that, I don't think we could afford to get another cat for the next few months. And I'm glad to hear that a properly trained kitten would accept more easily a companion! I will definitely keep going with the lessons

Seriously reconsider! Managing difficulties myself. Even after following the guidelines in Pam Bennett's book, reality can be more difficult. Good luck

I haven't decided anything yet, it's just an idea I have to consider since I read everywhere that cats are happier with a companion. I'm just trying to understand my options, not going to grab a random kitten right now 

And thanks to chiarabab for starting this discussion so all of us can learn more.

You are very welcome! Keeping pets in small places -- or places not really organized like a "regular" house -- can be hard.

 

[flintmccullough]

Besides-teaching-Fletcher-the-various-schools,you-are-teaching-him-manners-and-to-yield-to-you,always,you-are-the-head-of-the-pride.Your-instilliing-in-him,now,the-basics,and-then-you-teach-him-words-and-sentences,and-he-will-know-what-they-mean.

The-mistake-people-make,is-using-the-same-word,or-the-same-sentence,for-each-situation.You-have-to-start-with-one-word,then-build-a-base,then-use-different-sentence-for-each-situation.They-associate-the-sounds-of-the-words,with-"that"-situation.

On-occassion,we-will-share-a-hotel-room-at-shows,kitties-never-seen-each-other-before,we-let-them-loose-in-the-room,never-had-one-prob-with-any-kitties-not-getting-along.Because-they-know,they-were-trained,you-do-not,attack-other-kitties.

One-time-an-adult-cat-tried-to-take-my-kitten's-foodies.He-had-this-pissed-off-look-on-his-face,but-he-did-nothing,he-knew-better.After-that,we-fed-them-in-their-carriers,no-food-was-left-out,and-several-water-bowls-were-placed-around-the-room,so-each-kitty-had-his-own-water-bowl.As-many-exhibitors-that-share-rooms,never-ever-heard-of-an-issue.

I-only-refused,one-kitty,and-that-was-only-because-her-mommy-was-on-vaca-in-Italy.She-was-sent-to-the-show,to-be-shown,as-is-common-practice.I-only-refused-her,because-if-a-medical-issue-should-come-up,I-did-not-want-to-be-responsible.If-her-mommy-had-been-there,she-would-have-been-welcomed-to-share-the-room.

When-8-week-old-kittens-come-home,they-are-kept-in-the-bedroom-for-3-weeks.That-is-so-they-only-have-a-small-space-to-get-used-to-their-new-home-and-new-mommy.One-adult,at-a-time,is-let-in-after-a-couple-of-weeks,for-a-very-short-period-of-time,supervised.

They-want-to-play-with-the-kittens,I-don't-let-them,they-are-taught-to-sit-right-there,and-not-react.The-kittens-are-getting-used-to-them,not-the-other-way-around.The-adults-already-seen-kittens-and-kitties-at-shows.This-lesson-is-to-let-the-kittens-get-used-to-them.I-had-one-adult,who-lay-right-down,and-the-kittens-tried-to-nurse-him,the-kneeding,the-sucking,he-lay-right-there,and-let-them-do-it,why,because-thats-what-he-was-taught-to-do.

After-3-weeks,kittens-are-let-into-the-household,for-a-very-short-period-of-time,supervised.Adults-asking,can-we-play-with-them-now-ma?Yes,you-can-play-with-them,but-not-rough.Then-the-adults-are-taught,no-playing-rough-with-kittens.

Yes,this-is-a-long-and-tedious-process,and-must-be-taken-one-small-step-at-a-time,but-I-have-zero-issues.

The-adults-behave,and-do-what-they-are-told-and-taught-to-do,and-what-they-are-not-allowed-to-do,because-they-learned-all-this,back-in-grooming-school,bath-school,blow-drying-school,claws-clipping-school,go-for-a-ride-school,handling-by-multiple-people-school,back-when-they-were-8-week-old-kittens.

 

[jenny73]

I had never had cats before up until 2 years ago, my boyfriend surprised me with a cat he picked up at our local humane society, she was approx. 5-6 months old.  I loved her instantly but she is a bit distant with me, definitely chose my bf as her 'owner'.  Less than a year later, I was feeling impulsive and we went to look at the shelter.  I spotted a black kitty named Sushi that locked eyes with me and I fell in love, she was about a year old and we did an instant introduction.  She had been let out of her cage sometimes to mingle with the other cats from the shelter and she had also been in the shelter for a very long time, according to some paperwork it looked like she had been there since she was a baby, so she was pretty used to other cats.  Spooks had been out of the shelter for almost a year, plus she had only been there a few weeks.  She did not like the new cat, but Sushi pretty much ignored her hissing and growling.  About a day and a half later, I found them eating breakfast together and they were friends, they groomed each other and played together all the time.  It is now a little over a year later and I started thinking about another cat, I think 3 is our limit.  I adopted 4 month old Beaker from the shelter and we did an instant introduction again, it has not gone very well.  My bf wants them to get used to each other so he did not feel it was necessary to keep them separate.  Spooks basically stayed out of the way and hissed/growled only when she happened to see him nearby.  Sushi seems very angry with him yet curious so she follows him around the house growling at him.  Beaker seems unimpressed by the growling and just sits there in Sushi's face, and when he meows it seems to make Sushi angrier.  I caught Sushi trying to swat at him a few times but it was more like she was annoyed with him and not aggressively attacking him.  It's been a week and they are all still alive!  When it's feeding time, they are all in the same area without any problems, and occasionally I see Beaker touching noses with both Spooks and Sushi.  Spooks still seems hesitant with him but she's not hiding as much as before and she's hissing/growling a lot less, however, now Beaker seems to be provoking Sushi, I just watched him fly across the furniture to tackle Sushi and they had this big fight, he cornered her in the dining room and then he followed her upstairs where more fighting occurred.  I ran upstairs and found them both curled up on the floor just looking at each other from a distance.  Neither seem to be hurt but it upset me so much.  Beaker is a bit fearless and super confident so I think he's trying to put the girls in place or just trying to show Sushi that her growling doesn't scare him, I really don't know, but I am worried.  So just because we got lucky with Spooks and Sushi getting along in a short amount of time, I guess it really just varies between cats' personalities.  All 3 of mine are fixed btw.  It's been about 2 months since your post, did you end up getting a new cat?  If so, how did the introduction go?

 

[sarahd1987]

lol posted in the wrong thread.. sorry!!