Internet Safety On My Mind

[foxxycat]

True true PushPurrCatPaws I know what you mean. It goes for both types. I've had a few rocky platonic relationships in the cat rescue world that I've had to block them. And you know i thought we were good friends to each other but then misunderstandings got in the way. And the mess that comes when said person tries to start trouble...I totally understand what you mean. But that's not the typical experience. I'm so thankful for all the friendships we have formed from here. There's so many great people on here!

 

[Graceful-Lily]

That is why I always say that this community is so unique. I've never been a part of a forum like this before. You can really feel the love and support!

 

[AbbysMom]

I am just warning about being careful about all relationships begun via online introductions, that's all.

This for sure. It's not just romantic relationships.

That is why I always say that this community is so unique. I've never been a part of a forum like this before. You can really feel the love and support!

Debbie Downer here again! Sorry!

First off I should start out by saying our community here is amazing. The love and support I have seen on this site during the thirteen ( yes, thirteen ) years I have been a member can bring tears to your eyes.

But, (there is always a but ) we've had incidents here on here too. Some recent, some long ago. In a lot of cases it gets quietly taken care of by the Moderators before it becomes an issue and in other cases it blows up onto the forum. We've had at least one spectacular blow up on the forum while I have been a member. Before I became a Moderator, I was a lot more open about myself on here (it was also 2005). I told a lot more about myself, the town I lived in, my family, etc. Once I became a Moderator I started to see the harsher side of the internet and I became more protective of my information. I think I come across on here now much colder and harsher than I really am in person because of it. There's a wall now for me as to how friendly I will be with someone. What the members see, isn't "me". Now my fellow Moderators know I am actually a bit insane and crazy. I've even met a few in person.

We have had members on here that come across as the sweetest, nicest, most caring person in the world and if you ever saw what they have said to us in private, you would be shocked. I mean truly shocked.

I'm rambling again and I haven't even had a drink yet..... Anyway, long story short, please do watch yourself on here as well. If someone starts to show too much of an interest in you, ask yourself why and watch out for yourself. That person my be wonderful, genuine and caring and you may find that out for sure, but there's a tiny chance they aren't. I'd like to think the percentage of bad here on TCS is lower than other sites, but it still does exist.

If you ever find yourself in a situation with a member that seems off, please don't hesitate to contact Anne or one of the Moderators.

Wow, after all that I feel I need to end on a positive note. I truly, truly feel that there is no place like TCS elsewhere on the Internet. You can make lifelong friends here, just be careful.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I've been here as long as AbbysMom but I didn't become a Moderator or join the team till about 6 years ago. So I didn't know all the details of a few incidents that happened. But one still bothers me because I remember how incredibly hurt one good member was by it.

TCS is still my favorite place. It's hard to find people who understand how I feel about my cats like we understand each other here. My conversations with my vet are so much more informed thanks to the information sharing we do here. Yesterday made 4 years since Noodles went into heart failure and I didn't know if she was going to make it through that. I wouldn't have found the support I got here anywhere else. Although I did discover a distant cousin is pretty cat crazy like I am and she'd been there too. Now I'm going to go feed Noodles because shes circling me with that look that says she is going to start nipping at my leg soon if I don't.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

...

If you ever find yourself in a situation with a member that seems off, please don't hesitate to contact Anne or one of the Moderators. ...

Good advice! Even if you feel unsure, better safe than sorry to let staff know.

 

[maggiedemi]

I've only ever blocked one girl who called me a "welfare person". First of all, I've never been on welfare. Second of all, so what if I was? People think they can say anything to you by PM and somehow it's okay. It's not okay to be unkind!

 

[1 bruce 1]

This thread is a really good reminder that the internet is a weird and strange land that can do a lot of good, or a lot of bad.
If you're a young person living in the world of internet and not much else, I think you've got it much more rough than my generation did. I hear things about social media causing kids to kill or commit suicide and the internet bullying and think "The worst I had was that jerk kid that stole my lunch money sometimes and the little butt head that would stick his foot out and trip me."
The thing is, stealing lunch money or tripping another kid isn't cool but the whole world doesn't know it. This internet thing lets things be known world wide in a second. If you're an adult or a kid, this can ruin lives.
If you're being bullied (your age doesn't matter), tell someone. They might not be able to help but might be able to contact someone who can.

If you're a less younger person raising kids today, you have my respect because it can't be easy.
(We have no children of our own, but have been a part in raising kids of friends and it was like Dorothy walking into Oz. It's like a whole new world when you bring kids into the mix.)
Social places on the internet with no moderators, or poor moderation rules usually go to crap almost immediately. I appreciate the rules of TCS, and have probably broken quite a few.
I visited an animal/ranch forum a few years ago for some information, and holy cow (like the pun? ha) it was a mess. No moderators. No rules. Every single discussion thread turned into some weird argument that was personal between posters and it was the same old song and dance on every thread. People looking for info didn't get anything except that person A was fat and person B cheated on his 10th grade math exam, juvenile stuff. My head hurts just thinking about it.

 

[Lari]

Internet dating is like a thrift store. There's a lot of junk, but if you search long enough, you might be lucky enough to find something perfect for you.

I also met my fiancé on Match, so I'm a bit biased.

But I've had good and bad internet experiences. I've probably dropped enough information around that someone determined could at least figure out who my vet is, but it's a mixture of sharing some parts of me and keeping others close. And I wasn't too subtle with my username, so...

I'm just assuming no one is stalking me.

 

[maggiedemi]

I also met my fiancé on Match

I didn't know you met your fiancé online! I was thinking of trying one of those Christian dating sites this summer, but with my luck I'd probably end up with a serial killer. I do like the idea of saying everything you want and possibly getting a better match than you would in real-life.

 

[maggiedemi]

I can count on one hand the people I've purposely given my name to here at TCS over the 3+ years I've been a member.

I don't mind sharing my first name, but only 1 person knows my last name & mailing address, and my other friend knows the name of my town. I've also shared graduation pics with those 2 girls, but they are from over 20 years ago.

 

[azpops]

Good heads up! I remember reading an article (can't remember where though, this thing called gravity sucks) where they recommend, due to all the bad stuff going on, and to keep kids from getting in trouble, is to buy them a flip phone.

As an adult, this is the reason, I'm not involved in facebook, etc.. The other places to avoid is free game sites, and the like. These sites pull you in, where you hit a button, then BAM, your computer is infected.

Anyways, you can't be careful enough in this world we live in! This is one reason, I miss working with my dog, or at one time dogs. These guys always gave me the heads up, and edge, if anything is around. When they'd look in a direction, I pay attention and look. Regardless if it's a wabbit, or (OK be nice ... ) a cat, doesn't matter, I pay attention!

The other reason is, as I work alone, I miss their company!

Anyways, it is tough at times, but you gotta try your best, in keeping yourself safe!

Pops

 

[azpops]

This for sure. It's not just romantic relationships.





Debbie Downer here again! Sorry!

First off I should start out by saying our community here is amazing. The love and support I have seen on this site during the thirteen ( yes, thirteen ) years I have been a member can bring tears to your eyes.

But, (there is always a but ) we've had incidents here on here too. Some recent, some long ago. In a lot of cases it gets quietly taken care of by the Moderators before it becomes an issue and in other cases it blows up onto the forum. We've had at least one spectacular blow up on the forum while I have been a member. Before I became a Moderator, I was a lot more open about myself on here (it was also 2005). I told a lot more about myself, the town I lived in, my family, etc. Once I became a Moderator I started to see the harsher side of the internet and I became more protective of my information. I think I come across on here now much colder and harsher than I really am in person because of it. There's a wall now for me as to how friendly I will be with someone. What the members see, isn't "me". Now my fellow Moderators know I am actually a bit insane and crazy. I've even met a few in person.

We have had members on here that come across as the sweetest, nicest, most caring person in the world and if you ever saw what they have said to us in private, you would be shocked. I mean truly shocked.

I'm rambling again and I haven't even had a drink yet..... Anyway, long story short, please do watch yourself on here as well. If someone starts to show too much of an interest in you, ask yourself why and watch out for yourself. That person my be wonderful, genuine and caring and you may find that out for sure, but there's a tiny chance they aren't. I'd like to think the percentage of bad here on TCS is lower than other sites, but it still does exist.

If you ever find yourself in a situation with a member that seems off, please don't hesitate to contact Anne or one of the Moderators.

Wow, after all that I feel I need to end on a positive note. I truly, truly feel that there is no place like TCS elsewhere on the Internet. You can make lifelong friends here, just be careful.

The highlighted area of this post, IMO, is similar to going to a restaurant, being seated, and handed a menu. Seeing the waitress heading your way, thinking you're ready to order. However, she stops at your table, then informs you, the restaurant decided to close early. ....

Pops ...

 

[kashmir64]

don't mind sharing my first name, but only 1 person knows my last name & mailing address, and my other friend knows the name of my town.

I don't mind giving my first name or the town where I (kind of) live either. If someone wanted to stalk me, they would have to find my house. And UPS can't even seem to do that.

 

[maggiedemi]

If someone wanted to stalk me, they would have to find my house. And UPS can't even seem to do that.

Yeah, I guess you're right. But there are only 669 people in my town. So I just kinda say the area, but not the town name.

 

[kashmir64]

Yeah, I guess you're right. But there are only 669 people in my town. So I just kinda say the area, but not the town name.

I understand that. There's 5000 in my town - including the surrounding area. And I live 20 miles out of town.

 

[Willowy]

If someone wants to find you, they will. With someone's first and last name, I can find where they live, how old they are, and the names and ages of some of their friends and family members, within a minute or so. And I'm not especially good at this. I'm sure someone with more knowledge then I could find way more with way less info. So I feel a little. . .fatalistic? about it. Oh well. If someone wants to come to my house they'll have to deal with the dog.

As for meeting people, like for craigslist/Facebook rummage/etc. sales, that's what Walmart parking lots are for. If you feel really iffy, most police stations allow meeting in their parking lot too. As for dating, I'm not sure I'd ever be really comfortable meeting someone. Although I've heard that the paid sites do a decent job of screening.

 

[maggiedemi]

With someone's first and last name, I can find where they live, how old they are, and the names and ages of some of their friends and family members, within a minute or so.

That's why I don't give out my last name. People are nosy, you know they are gonna instantly Google you & find out all your business. I like my privacy.

 

[Lari]

I didn't know you met your fiancé online! I was thinking of trying one of those Christian dating sites this summer, but with my luck I'd probably end up with a serial killer. I do like the idea of saying everything you want and possibly getting a better match than you would in real-life.

We are the 21st century love story I guess. We lived in the same town and never would have met otherwise.

My personal opinion is that if you do a dating site that you have to pay for, you are much more likely to meet someone who is looking for an actual relationship and not just a hook-up. I was on Match about 4ish months before I met my fiancé (he was on a lot longer) and I had been on dates with three or four guys. None of them ended up being a good match for me, but they seemed serious about wanting to date. I did run into one creeper, but we never met irl. I didn't get a lot of interest in my profile, so if you're more popular, you probably get more creepers just by simple math.

If someone wants to find you, they will. With someone's first and last name, I can find where they live, how old they are, and the names and ages of some of their friends and family members, within a minute or so. And I'm not especially good at this.

Doubly if you're like me and don't have a common last name. There are advantages to being a Sarah Smith over a Lari (lastname) because there are way more people with the former you'd have to sift through.

 

[kashmir64]

If someone wants to find you, they will. With someone's first and last name, I can find where they live, how old they are, and the names and ages of some of their friends and family members, within a minute or so.

Exactly. But with only a first name and town no one would find me. Even knowing I have a son in college and I live outside of town. And let's say they did. Out here, they would get shot. Not saying we shoot strangers, but if they come on your property and show aggression/harassment, then we will. (the general term 'we', not me personally or alone)