Impulsively Adopted Two Kittens And I Regret It

[samperinleni]

I adopted two three-month-old kittens just two days ago. It was an impulsive decision and now, even though I hate to say it, I regret it. They are such amazing and cute kitties but having two cats here is very overwhelming for me. They run around and make alot of noise and it's alot for me because I have ADHD and I can't handle sensory overloads (too much noise). And they constantly try to climb on the dining table which is off limits for them.

But the biggest problem is that they bother me at night. I usually go to bed at around 11-12pm, when the kittens start to get tired. But as soon as I get off the couch and into my bed, the kittens suddenly have loads of energy again and they run around. It takes me a while before I can get them to settle down one way or another and I manage to get some shuteye. But it's very tiring. I should play with them during the day so they would sleep at night but I'm too tired to play with them. I just throw toys at them and they also play together (they play fight together constantly).

I believe I can raise the kittens and keep them here but how do I handle with all this? I certainly knew what I was getting into when I got the kittens but I didn't know it would be THIS much. All I want to do now is cry. I feel so bad about everything.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Congrats on the adoption of your kittens!

Sorry, right now, you're having "buyer's remorse". Have you had kittens before? If so, you know once they get older, they'll settle down. Plus you've only had them 2 days, so they're still getting acclimated to their new home.

Many years ago, my family got a kitten. She was an angel during the day, but the minute it was "light's out" at night, she went wild. My Dad got so frustrated that he threatened to give her back to the people we got her from. That didn't happen, though. Instead she eventually grew into a well behaved adult cat, and we had her for almost 20 wonderful years.

So take heart in knowing it will get better. Meanwhile, if you can, maybe put them in a cat-proofed room at night. As long as they have food, water, litter box and some toys, they will be fine.

Here's some TCS articles that might be helpful:

How To Set Healthy Boundaries For Your Cat
How To Stop Your Cat From Scratching The Furniture
How To Keep Cats Off Counters And Tables
Cats And Discipline Don't Mix

How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night (step-by-step Plan)

 

[samperinleni]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Congrats on the adoption of your kittens!

Sorry, right now, you're having "buyer's remorse". Have you had kittens before? If so, you know once they get older, they'll settle down. Plus you've only had them 2 days, so they're still getting acclimated to their new home.

Many years ago, my family got a kitten. She was an angel during the day, but the minute it was "light's out" at night, she went wild. My Dad got so frustrated that he threatened to give her back to the people we got her from. That didn't happen, though. Instead she eventually grew into a well behaved adult cat, and we had her for almost 20 wonderful years.

So take heart in knowing it will get better. Meanwhile, if you can, maybe put them in a cat-proofed room at night. As long as they have food, water, litter box and some toys, they will be fine.

Here's some TCS articles that might be helpful:

How To Set Healthy Boundaries For Your Cat
How To Stop Your Cat From Scratching The Furniture
How To Keep Cats Off Counters And Tables
Cats And Discipline Don't Mix

How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night (step-by-step Plan)

Thank you for responding.

I never had my own kittens before, we always had cats in the house when I was little but I wasn't the one taking care of them. Now that I live on my own and have my own kittens, things are different. But I do know that they'll start to calm down as they age up but it's still gonna be a little while and I feel like I'm losing my mind...

My apartment is quite small and the only room that has a door is my bathroom. I guess I can't put my kittens there for the night. It must be too small of a space. I'm thinking they wouldn't like that at all

I'll check out these articles. Thank you very much!

 

[NY cat man]

Welcome to TCS! Although I am new here myself, the other members have made me feel right at home.
Something for you to consider (and I am NOT scolding): taking in a cat is a process, especially for a kitten who, like a small child, doesn't know or understand the rules yet.
There is a local contractor who has a catchphrase in his ads:"What's hard by the yard; by the inch is a cinch ". Take it an inch at a time, and good luck to you and your kittens.

 

[samperinleni]

Welcome to TCS! Although I am new here myself, the other members have made me feel right at home.
Something for you to consider (and I am NOT scolding): taking in a cat is a process, especially for a kitten who, like a small child, doesn't know or understand the rules yet.
There is a local contractor who has a catchphrase in his ads:"What's hard by the yard; by the inch is a cinch ". Take it an inch at a time, and good luck to you and your kittens.

Thank you. It really is a process. I never thought I would have such a hard time with cats. I mean - I love cats... but now that I have two of my own, it's so overwhelming. I hope both the cats and I get accustomed quickly.

 

[ArtNJ]

Years ago I had 2 kittens in a studio. So I think I can say this without offending -- it is a dumb thing to do. However, I did love the little guys, they entertained the hell out of me, and eventually they settled down. Mostly.

As far as giving them away, they are young enough to be adoptable, so I don't know why you would have to feel bad. I think you should do what is best for you. You don't want to keep losing sleep, get more and more stressed, and give them up in 2 months when it might be harder to find them a new home. That said, I stuck with it, and found it hard but rewarding. Decision is yours.

 

[samperinleni]

Years ago I had 2 kittens in a studio. So I think I can say this without offending -- it is a dumb thing to do. However, I did love the little guys, they entertained the hell out of me, and eventually they settled down. Mostly.

As far as giving them away, they are young enough to be adoptable, so I don't know why you would have to feel bad. I think you should do what is best for you. You don't want to keep losing sleep, get more and more stressed, and give them up in 2 months when it might be harder to find them a new home. That said, I stuck with it, and found it hard but rewarding.

Putting the kittens back for adoption wouldn't be bad for them but it would do a number on me - I would feel guilty and just bad overall. And I don't even WANT to give them away… at least not yet. I need to try.

 

[ArtNJ]

I feel ya. When I did it, I was in graduate school. 25 years later, I still remember them each standing on stacks of milk crates where I stored my stuff and repeatedly whacking each other on the head like crazy boxers (a favorite game). I remember them reaching into the holes in the drawers under my bed and pulling out socks and underwear. And I remember them fighting on the bed at 4 am, and tossing them off so many times that they eventually decided the bed was not an ok place to be, even during the day (which made me sad). I remember that leaving the bathroom open meant the tp roll was a gonner and the trash might be tipped. 25 years later I probably remember as much about them in that studio as I do classes, friends, etc. 2 kittens in a studio is an experience for sure! But a bit like the old Chinese curse..."may you live in interesting times."

 

[NY cat man]

What is worse than a cat that won't leave you alone? A cat that ignores you.

 

[katiecatTPP]

Hi, here's a couple thoughts I have!

BABY GATES!! I adopted two kitten siblings a couple years ago and had the same problems.. I lived in a tiny apartment with no doors and couldnt sleep. I bought 4 baby gates and stacked them on top of each other in my bedroom doorway. Although it was a pain in the butt to put up and take down, it SAVED me!

Also, once kittens are spayed/nuetered, they calm down.

Good luck!

 

[samperinleni]

Hi, here's a couple thoughts I have!

BABY GATES!! I adopted two kitten siblings a couple years ago and had the same problems.. I lived in a tiny apartment with no doors and couldnt sleep. I bought 4 baby gates and stacked them on top of each other in my bedroom doorway. Although it was a pain in the butt to put up and take down, it SAVED me!

Also, once kittens are spayed/nuetered, they calm down.

Good luck!

Hmm, yeah… that's something to consider. Even though… my bed is located in a little nook (I think they're called alcoves) in the living room area, so I would have to buy ALOT of baby Gates, haha. And I don't really know how to put them up.

One thing other people suggested to me was putting the kittens into my bathroom for the night (as long as they have their litter box, something soft to sleep on, toys, food and water) but I don't really know. My bathroom is quite big but I still don't know. Maybe I should try it out. If Muru and Vilkku hate it, I won't do it again. I really need to start sleeping better, I have work again on Monday.

 

[katiecatTPP]

Hmm, yeah… that's something to consider. Even though… my bed is located in a little nook (I think they're called alcoves) in the living room area, so I would have to buy ALOT of baby Gates, haha. And I don't really know how to put them up.

One thing other people suggested to me was putting the kittens into my bathroom for the night (as long as they have their litter box, something soft to sleep on, toys, food and water) but I don't really know. My bathroom is quite big but I still don't know. Maybe I should try it out. If Muru and Vilkku hate it, I won't do it again. I really need to start sleeping better, I have work again on Monday.

Hmm... that makes it hard... is there any place you could put babygates that would give them more room than the bathroom? Maybe like the kitchen or living room? Or is it all an open space??

I have also heard of people using a playpen that has a cover to act like a ceiling on it for their cats at night.. something like a 5x5 so its big enough for them to play in and have their litterbox, food and water of course.. might be a good investment!

Picture shows how I blocked off my bedroom.

 

[susanm9006]

There are some very nice two story cat kennels out there with room for litterbox, sleeping and hanging out. If you have very limited space this might be worth the investment.

 

[ScaryWithString]

Oh, I feel your pain! I did the exact same thing two years ago when I impulsively brought home ten weeks old sisters I call the Zoomies. I had had cats all my life, but these weren't cats--they were MONKEYS!! I couldn't bring myself to take them back, but I sure wanted to, especially when they peed all over my furniture and had multiple health issues. Two years on, though, I can say that they are delightful companions, and we all survived. But, that doesn't help you right now, so here's what worked for me...

1.) Put them in the bathroom at night and don't feel guilty. They are babies, and it's not a bad thing for you to set boundaries and teach them to have quiet time. Your bathroom is larger than the cage they would be in at the shelter. Also, feeling safe from them at night and getting to sleep is important to establishing a good bond between you. If you don't set boundaries, you'll resent them, and that won't be good for any of you. So, decide on a schedule, and be consistent about it. Once they've gotten older and more calm, you can try letting them stay out at night, but for now, I think it's far more important that you have time away from them for your own sanity.

2.) Establish a "Good night" Ritual that includes 15-20 minutes of active play followed by a good meal served in their bathroom with some petting. Prepare the bathroom beforehand with some soft places to sleep, some toys, and the litter box. Then once you've served their meal, say Good Night Kitties (or whatever phrase you want them to learn, and shut the door....and DON'T open it again until morning even if they meow. It may take a night or two, but they will adjust to this routine. They'll be together for comfort and play, and you will feel safe and have quiet time.

3.) Make the bathroom particularly inviting at night so it will become their special cave. One way I did this was to keep a bunch of the brown packing paper that comes in the Amazon boxes. I kept it stuffed in a box during the day. Then, at night before Kitty Bedtime, I'd make a crinkle paper sea in the bathtub and put the empty box on the floor along with some toys that only came out at night (quiet ones without bells). The kittens LOVED that crinkle paper sea so much that they looked forward to it. They slept in it, played in it...happy as clams. The fact that it wasn't out during the day kept it special, and the noise was something I could sleep through once I got used to it.

4.) The Bathroom can also become their "playpen" for short period during the day if you need it to. Not as a punishment. That will send the wrong message. No, what I mean is a scheduled "naptime" during the day when you put them in there for 20-30 minutes to give yourself a break. Call it something different than your nighttime phrase (cats really DO learn words), and do it consistently every day at roughly the same time. Ideally, throw in some treats, or some cat springs, or something fun. But whatever, get them used to the idea that this is their quiettime, and you'll come get them in a little while. Probably there is some time of day when your nerves are more raw than others, so that might be a good choice. However, don't do it right when you get home unless you greet and play with them first. It's not fair to expect them to accept quiet time when they haven't had their needs met beforehand.

So, those are my techniques for keeping yourself sane with crazy kittens. Also, be prepared to play with them a LOT. As for the ADHD stimulation issue, give it time. Part of the reason they seem so overwhelming right now is because your brain hasn't gotten accustomed to their sounds and movements. Once they've been there a few weeks, it will file a lot of this under "no big deal, I know what that is," and you won't be constantly on alert and hyperreactive about it. Meanwhile, establishing a schedule and some quiet time rituals will give you a feeling of control and lay the foundation for a good relationship with your zoomies.

Anyway, I hope some of this helps. Good luck to you!

 

[aliceneko]

I think it's natural to have some kind of regret or anxiety after adopting a new kitten or cat, particularly if you're not used to having cats in the house before. I'm a first time cat owner, though my mother, who lives with me, is more of an experienced cat owner having had cats as a child; and I did find it very strange and somewhat stressful at first. But, Toffee and Fudge very quickly occupied a spot in my heart and I can't imagine life without them. I never had regret when I first got them, but I did have some anxiety at first; though that only lasted for the first week or so. I'd definitely say to keep going and try out for another week or so to see how you and your kittens ease in with each other. It's still very early days for you both and I'm sure you'll adjust to each other.

 

[ArtNJ]

Don't bother trying to use the bathroom as their room at night if you are one of those folks that needs to go at least once during the night. They will either run out, or you'll spend so much attention preventing it you won't get back to sleep. If your one of those folks, look into one of the big kennels; thats a good idea.

As I mentioned in my story above, if you chuck them off the bed enough times they will likely get the message. That won't end 3 am run arounds, but it helped some. I wasn't smart enough to think of the kennel.

 

[samperinleni]

Thank you for your advice, everyone.

I regret to inform you all that I took my kittens back to their previous owners. Having two kittens in the house to take care of was too much for me after all. I got attached to them and I've been crying about this since yesterday (when I decided to give them back). I don't know how to cope with this, it's like I'm grieving someone's death I only had them here for a few days and I still feel horrible. The apartment feels so empty now… Any advice on how to move on from this?

 

[ArtNJ]

I'm sure they will be adopted into a good home soon so no need to be sad for them. Since we are only talking about *sad for you*, go do whatever you would normally do when sad -- buy something, eat a pint of ice cream (well, we do that here, no idea if you do in Finland!) or whatever. Also realize that this isn't a no pets forever deal. When you move into a one bedroom or larger, you can try again, probably starting with one kitten. You could also potentially adopt an older cat with a known affectionate but low key personality, which might be fine for you even in a studio. As we discussed above, we all know that 2 kittens in a studio is just a super tough thing, and no one is judging.

 

[rubysmama]

Sorry it didn't work out with the kittens, but glad the previous owners were able to take them back. I understand, though, that your apartment suddenly seems empty. But know you did what was best for the kittens. And that no one is judging your decision.

This doesn't mean, you know, you can never have another cat. Even, as A ArtNJ mentioned, in your current apartment. Maybe, instead of 2 kittens, you should look into adopting an older cat.

Meanwhile, to get your kitty fix, maybe look into volunteering at an animal shelter. Or, if they don't need volunteers right now, maybe visit regularly and play with the cats, and maybe you'll find your purr-fect feline companion.

Since you admitted bringing the kittens home was impulsive, maybe you didn't get to read up on cat care. So I'll post links to some TCS articles that might be helpful for when you adopt again.

15 Things You Should Know Before Adopting A Cat
New Cat Checklist: What You Need To Get Before Bringing Kitty Home
First-time Cat Owner's Guide
Bringing Home A New Cat - The Complete Guide
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home
A Kitten Or An Older Cat - Which Should You Adopt?

Renting With A Cat? Find Out How To Keep Your Landlord Happy
How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats)

 

[azpops]

Sorry didn't read the post, re. giving them back!

Pops